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This article is about the cornerstone of written language. For niggers that glow in the dark, see CIA.
Nigger, also stylised as NIGGER, is a racially discriminatory slur against people of the coloured persuasion. The word is often attested within enlightened scientific communities to be the most comical utterance ever to emerge from the English language, perhaps even besting the mighty though. Many a highly intelligent commentator utilize the humorous properties inherent to the aforementioned lexical unit to bestow network-based dissertations upon a grand audience of fellow intelligentsia sophists via the Internet, pioneering a new form of scholarly discussion with highly potent jocual relief. However, academically indigent peoples pertinaciously contest such a usance by cause of trifling picayune, thereby partaking in an initiative as bestially as the ostentation of salacity and as vitriolic as eternal pandemonium. Let it henceforth be promulgated to one and all, that from the first stirrings of life in the animal kingdom to the matured societies still forthcoming, conveying the hallowed term "NIGGER" represents the cumulative achievement of all life punctuated by the labour of all humanity, satisfying a speaker's essence to the utmost extremities in the boundless levels of eudaimonia, lustrating a listener's psyche to the paramount effects of meditation, such a felicitous activity is imperative to contemporary quotidian lifestyle and to the augment in saeculum still forthcoming.
All niggers, especially wild niggers, are dangerous in groups, regardless of gender, and travel in packs. This is because they wish to buy a large bucket of KFC chicken and some white hoes to share amongst their tribe. No respectable white people should ever come into contact with a gang of niggers. If you are a white person who has had contact with a nigger-wait, who are we kidding? Niggers don't know how to read anyway. If you come into contact with a nigger, it is advisable to immediately shower for at least four hours, lest the black taint assimilate you and transform you into one of them. Luckily, the nigger taint, not unlike those it infects, cannot stand the touch of hot water or soap. This is the reason niggers stink.
Trolling[edit | edit source]
Because of their inferior intellectual abilities, niggers are incredibly easy to troll. In fact, they even get mad when you are not trolling them.
- Inform them that not Whites or Arabs enslaved Blacks, but sub-Saharan Africans enslaved other sub-Saharan Africans and then sold them to Europeans and or Arabs.
- Tell them that former Slaves from the USA who were deported to Liberia enslaved the indigenous black Bush people.
- Inform them that the Ancient Egyptians and Sumerians were Middle Easterners and not Blacks
- Denied their slavery years (never happen)
- Act "gangsta" around them. Use their slang, wear their clothes and address them with "brother".
- Say something, anything, against a black rights activist or a famous black person (niggers don't know the difference between the two things, anyway).
- Remind them that they are all welfare queens.
- Remind them that they all used to be slaves.
- Ask them whether their master allowed them to talk to a white person.
- Kindly remind them that you're not cotton.
- Ask why you're not allowed to say "nigga". Repeatedly.
- Offer them fried chicken.
- Call the police. The nigger will act like he just raped a white, latin or asian girl, whether he did it recently or not.
- Hand the nigger a piece of soap. Tell him he looks like he needs it.
- Ask a nigger how to rap.
- Ask if it plays basketball.
- Talk like an intelligent person. Niggers hate intelligent persons, for obvious reasons.
- "Trayvon Martin deserved it."
- Inform them that "George Zimmerman" is of multiracial heritage and not white.
- Show them this and that
- Wear jet black glasses and walk with a cane through any up and coming black neighborhood at night while shouting: "MASSA?! Where is you?!" Bonus points if you can pull off acting deaf and wear a hoodie simultaneously.
- Inform them that Uganda has a higher standard of living and knows NOT to eat da poo poo.
- Run after them with a noose and a burning lighter. Niggers are like cavemen, they are deathly afraid of fires that they didn't cause.
- Ask them if they know the difference between Dr. Seuss and Dr. Dre.
- Walk up with a calculator and ask if they have a problem. Even if they (inevitably) don't get this one, it results in a guaranteed chimpout.
- Ask them if they knew that James Earl Ray was actually Ray Charles.
- Tell them the following phrase: "In all sincerity, you blacks stole from Vanilla Ice. That man invented rap while you were banging spoons on Home Depot buckets for pocket change.... nigger."
- Ask them if the Crips are physically, or just mentally handicapped.
- Ask them if they ever saw the movie Jaws, and if it scared them. If they say "No, it didn't", inform them that since they are black, water scares them more than sharks.
- Tell them not all Police officers are racist gestapo hired just to kill them
- "George Floyd Deserved it"
Always remember, every nigger has a gun! A bullet proof vest is mandatory when trolling them. Alternatively, just hold a melon hostage. And call the cops! Cops love nothing more than to catch a nigger with his pants down.