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Minecraft-diamond.png This page will always be a gem.

Cobson

Cobson.png

Original cobson cropped.png

Soyjak variant
Aliases
  • Coalson
  • Shitson
  • Dustson
  • Cobshit
  • Gemson
  • Shit tier wojack [sic]
  • God tier wojack [sic]
  • Jacobson
  • Fakecobson
  • HWABAGson
  • Condom [1]
  • ADMIRALson
  • COMMANDERson
  • CAPTAINson
  • LIEUTENANTson
  • ULTIMATEson
  • GENERALLISIMOson
  • EMIRson
  • FLAGSHIPson
  • MYRIARCHson
  • IMPERATORson
  • SHIPMASTERson
  • SERASKIERson
  • PRAETORIANson
  • CENTURIONson
  • COMMANDANTson
  • PREFECTson
  • ADELANTADOson
  • LEADERson
  • CHIEFTAINson
  • ALCAIDEson
  • HETMANson
  • CONSTABLEson
  • PARTISANson
  • TRIERARCHson
  • CONDUCTORson
  • SARDARson
  • PROCONSULson
  • SUPREMEson
  • UBERMENSCHson
  • TETRARCHson
  • SHOGUNson
  • MASTERson
  • DRUNGARson
  • DUXson
  • DOYENson
  • WARLORDson
  • GAGEson
  • TYCOONson
  • LOCHAGEson
  • TAXIARCHson
  • HEADson
  • PRIDEson
  • CROWNERson
  • PHYLARCHson
  • OFFICERson
  • PENTECONTERson
  • HERALDson
  • DUKEson
  • COMMODOREson
  • AGHAson
  • RISALDARson
  • MILLENARYson
  • EMPERORson
  • TRIPHIBIANson
  • REGIMENTARYson
  • VOIVODEson
  • CONDOTTIEREson
  • SABOTEURson
  • SLEUTHson
  • SALADINson
  • SULTANson
  • HERETOGAson
  • TURCOPOLIERson
  • DEPUTYson
  • MONARCHson
  • PREMIERson
  • UNUMVIRson
  • PROVOSTson
  • COACHson
  • DAMEson
  • KNIGHTson
  • MYRMIDONson
  • PASHAson
  • STAFFson
  • EMIRson
  • DEANson
  • REQUISITEson
  • MARSHALson
  • HERETOGson
  • CORPORALson
  • COLONELson
  • COUNTson
  • MARQUISson
  • DUCALson
  • GRACEson
  • LORDson
  • PRINCEson
  • KINGson
  • CROWNERson
  • NOBLEson
  • REGALIAson
  • ARISTOCRATson
  • UKASEson
  • ZEMTSVOson
  • TSARson
  • DUMAson
  • DAIMYOson
  • MIKADOson
  • MAGNATEson
  • KHANson
  • CHAMPIONson
  • TUCHUNson
  • SHIFUson
  • SAMURAIson
  • CONQUERORson
  • VICTORson
  • TRIBUTARYson
  • SUBJUGATORson
  • GLADIATORson
  • RETIARIUSson
  • KILLERson
  • LAQUEARYson
  • ALMIGHTYson
  • ALL-KNOWINGson
  • ALPHAson
  • OMEGAson
  • INFINITEson
  • ETERNALson
  • EVITERNALson
  • MIRACULOUSson
  • METHUSELAHson
  • OMNIPOTENTson
  • OMNISCIENTson
  • DIDACTson
  • PRODIGYson
  • EIDETICson
  • LIMITLESSson
  • INFINITEson
  • LIFEson
  • ORIGINson
  • POLYMATHson
  • PROVIDENCEson
  • PROFANEson
  • HALLOWEDson
  • GENESISson
  • MATRIXson
  • NEOTERICson
  • THEOCRATson
  • FATHERson
  • COSMICson
  • GALACTICson
  • SOLARson
  • ORBITALson
  • PERIHELIONson
  • SINGULARITYson
  • UNIVERSALson
  • NEBULAson
  • STARson
  • RADIATIONson
  • PROTONson
  • ELECTRONson
  • QUARKson
  • NEUTRONson
  • ELEMENTARYson
  • FUNDAMENTALson
  • AXIOMATICson
  • INDIVISIBLEson
  • VASTson
  • GREATson
  • PANTAGRUELson
  • BARBARIANson
  • WARRIORson
  • BERSERKERson
  • SOLDIERson
  • FIGHTERson
  • COMBATANTson
  • ACEson
  • GRENADIERson
  • TROOPERson
  • RANGERson
  • MERCENARYson
  • RIFLEMANson
  • LANCERson
  • CAVALIERson
  • ARQUEBUSIERson
  • VETERANson
  • FUSILIERson
  • HOPLITEson
  • PHALANXson
  • SENTRYson
  • BALLISTICson
  • MISSILEson
  • ORDINANCEson
  • POWERson
  • VIRTUOSOson
  • IONIANson
  • DORIANson
  • PHRYGIANson
  • LYDIANson
  • MIXOLYDIANson
  • AEOLIANson
  • LOCRIANson
  • SPEARMANson
  • SWORDSMANson
  • TASKMASTERson
  • SENSEIson
  • KYOKUSHINson
  • JUICHIDANson
  • DRAGOONson
  • PEONson
  • SPYson
  • PIONEERson
  • EXPLORERson
  • CHARTERson
  • BRIGANDson
  • JANISSARYson
  • RESERVISTson
  • HORSEMANson
  • CAVALRYson
  • CATERANson
  • SABERson
  • GUERRILLAson
  • PALATINEson
  • FEDERALson
  • SWASHBUCKLERson
  • PLUNDERERson
  • PIRATEson
  • CATAPHRACTson
  • CANNONEERson
  • MINUTEMANson
  • TIRAILLEURson
  • TRUMPETERson
  • SERVITORson
  • PAVISORson
  • BOWMANson
  • MARKSMANson
  • SNIPERson
  • DECORATEDson
  • DRAGONson
  • MANTICOREson
  • ANGELson
  • HYDRAson
  • GRIFFINson
  • VENTUROUSson
  • CHEVALIERson
  • EIN-SOFson
  • TEMERITOUSson
  • EVERLASTINGson
  • CEREBRALson
  • MINDson
  • SOULson
  • HEARTson
  • IASson
  • CULTUREson
  • REVOLUTIONARYson
  • COMMISSARson
  • REDCOATson
  • CONTINENTALson
  • PHILOSOPHERson
  • LUMINOUSson
  • CORUSCATINGson
  • QUALITYson
  • GILDEDson
  • EMPYREALson
  • AUREATEson
  • CHRYSELEPHANTINEson
  • PACTOLIANson
  • PRESTIGEson
  • MERITson
  • EXCELLENTson
  • STATESMANson
  • TERAPHIMson
  • SAINTson
  • CANONson
  • OPULENTson
  • LUSHson
  • CLASSICson
  • GOSPELson
  • NUCLEARson
  • AMETHYSTson
  • ANALEMMAson
  • BERYLson
  • BLESSEDson
  • CHALCEDONYson
  • CELESTIALson
  • DIAMONDson
  • DEITYson
  • EMERALDson
  • ECCLESIASTICALson
  • FELDSPARson
  • FRACTALson
  • GARNETson
  • GODLIKEson
  • HELIODORson
  • HEAVENLYson
  • IDOCRASEson
  • INIMITABLEson
  • JASPERson
  • JUDGMENTson
  • KYANITEson
  • KAISERson
  • LAPISLAZULIson
  • LAMPADEPHOREson
  • MALACHITEson
  • MARGARITIFEROUSson
  • NEPHRITEson
  • NEXUSson
  • OPALson
  • OBTENEBRATORson
  • PERIDOTson
  • PANOMPHEANson
  • QUARTZson
  • QUAESTORson
  • RUBYson
  • RAPTORIALson
  • SAPPHIREson
  • SCIALYTICson
  • TOPAZson
  • TELEGNOSTICson
  • UVAROVITEson
  • UNZYMOTICson
  • VESUVIANITEson
  • VASTATIONson
  • WILLEMITEson
  • WRACKFULson
  • XANTHOCONITEson
  • XOANONson
  • ZULTANITEson
  • ZOETICson
Origin/qa/, 4chan (June 6, 2021)
Booru PostsOnionsbooru-icon.png 2250+ As of January 24th, 2023
Traced FromThe Lawnmower Man


Cobson is a soyjak based on Jobe Smith from the 1992 Sci-Fi film "The Lawnmower Man"[a][2]. Being one of the more controversial characters a clique of newchuds formed around him in 2022 which continues to spam the website everyday and even attacks Feraljak, on a regular basis, in a desperate attempt to create a debate. After months of such attacks on the website many have now turned against Cobson and he is considered to be a coal by a lot of users.[3]

History[edit | edit source]

Cobson was first posted on /qa/ on June 6th, 2021, under the filename "lawnmower soy.png".[4] He released to overwhelmingly negative reviews from critics,[5][6][7] although this was mostly down to one schizo spamming "shit tier wojack" in every Cobson thread.[8] As the months went on, however, Cobson obtained a cult following among some soyteens, who hailed him as a "god tier wojack".[9] As a result, the debate of whether he is coal or gem remains a hot topic among soyteens to this day.[10]

Cobson got his name on September 4th, 2021 as a contraction of the name Jacobson.[11]

Music Career[edit | edit source]

Cobson's career as a musician was jumpstarted when he received a number of edits depicting him as a rapper.[12][13][14] From there, he starred in an unusual number of song parodies on the Soyjak Party Video Archive. His early work was a little too new wave for my taste, but when Gem Cobbity released in '21? I think he really came into his own, both commercially and artistically. He's been compared to Svenska Beat, but I think Cobson has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.

David Thoughie[edit | edit source]

Cobman appearing as the first video in a soyteen's autogenerated YouTube music playlist.

In 2021 and 2022, Cobson's disassociate personality David Thoughie released two parody songs, Gem Cobbity and Cobman, both to widespread critical acclaim. Multiple chuds have admitted to listening to these songs "unironically", including one YouTube reviewer who described it as an "actual gem",[15] and another who hailed it as "Perhaps the greatest gem ever mined and cut thus far".[16]

In January 2022, Cobman was nominated for a Nobel Prize in Literature.[17]

Cobbo[edit | edit source]

Cobbo, also known as Cob Gang, is a popular parody song whose lyrical content offers a scathing critique on the human soyndition (soy condition), delivered in the high art of mumble rap. It is extremely popular; as of February 2022 it is the most viewed video on the Soyjak Party Video Archive. Cobbo, and by extension Cobson himself, is one of only a couple things to ever receive the rare honour of starring on the Soyjak Party homepage, the highest award Soot could bestow.

/s4s/ incident[edit | edit source]

Main article: Swaglord

Extremely keyed Brazilian victory

The use of Cobbo's lyrics as material for post n°10000000 on /s4s/[18][19] was considered by many onlookers to have immortalized Cobson into a gem; GEMson: Coalson redeemed. This was also a massive Brazilian victory and it made Swaglord go on one of the biggest janny seethe sessions ever documented.

Other songs[edit | edit source]

In an attempt to capitalise on the surprise success of Cobbo, Cobson produced an unofficial sequel Gemmy,[20] as well as a nutwave re-release of the original.[21] Despite good reviews and mild popularity, these spin-offs failed to capture the runaway success of the original.

In January 2022, Cobson collaborated with fellow singer-songwriter Nojak to produce a short audio sample titled 6ixϪhrembo & DJ Moose.[22]

The Great BBC Slander (I fucking hate niggers)[edit | edit source]

Main Article: Spadeson

In late 2021 and early 2022 edits of Cobson began to appear on the Sharty, /bant/ and the Booru depicting Cobson as a “BBC Slut,” these edits were likely made by Discoal raiders and trannies in an effort to slander Cobson’s name and title of “God-Tier Wojak.” As of late April 2022 edits are still appearing on the Party and /bant/. Cobson has refused to speak publicly about the incident but his lawyer Saul Goodman has stated in an official open letter that they are pursuing a defamation lawsuit against those posting defamatory edits.

On July 24th, 2022, Kuz announced that Cobson BBC spam is no longer allowed, marking an end for BBC slander on the Sharty [23][24] (but they are keeping to forcing it on the wiki, th*ugh).

Cobinisation[edit | edit source]

Does anyone have the original? It ain't on the 'ru.
In some cases, intensive cobinisation may end up replacing the native popsoylation.

Cobinisation (British English; or cobinization in American English) is a phenomenon observed in the soy community whereby previous edits featuring non-Cobson variants eventually resurface as Cobsons.

If this trend continues, scientists estimate that all soyjaks will be Cobsons by the year 2033.

Subvariants[edit | edit source]

NuCob[edit | edit source]

A wholesome NuCob edit

NuCob is a popular edit of Cobson that's mostly used in wholesome edits due to the angry nature of Cobson. NuCob was first posted on /qa/ on October 12th 2021 following the massive success of Cobson.[25] Alongside the usual wholesome edits, some edits depict NuCob as Cobson's son.[26]

Rapeson[edit | edit source]

Rapeson

Main Article: Rapeson

Rapeson, also known as Evilson is an ominous subvariant of Cobson that was first posted on /soy/ on August 15th, 2022. He is commonly depicted as a disturbingly evil character that commits acts of extreme cruelty, such as rape and murder of children.[27][28][29]

In Popular Culture[edit | edit source]

Cobson was slightly referenced in the 2022 movie The Batman[30]

Cobson is also the name of a French indie band. Jewgle won't give me any more info on them (possibly CIA intervention), so no source is available.

Gallery[edit | edit source]

See also[edit | edit source]


Notes[edit source]

Citations[edit source]

  1. no idea where the fuck this comes from, but people have been using it lately
  2. /tv/, post no. 2620. I just discovered that the cobsonjak comes from a 90s movie named "The Lawnmower Man". September 11, 2021. https://web.archive.org/web/20210912040348/https://soyjak.party/tv//res/2620.html#2620
  3. FACT CHECK: this slander has been DEBUNKED by Snopes.
  4. https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/4485181/#4486841
  5. https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/4599440/#4599440
  6. https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/4624451/#4624460
  7. https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/4925173/
  8. https://desuarchive.org/qa/search/text/%22shit%20tier%20wojack%22/page/9/
  9. https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/4887320/
  10. https://booru.soy/post/view/3039
  11. https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/4989115/#4989193
  12. https://booru.soyjak.su/post/view/3208
  13. https://booru.soyjak.su/post/view/3495
  14. https://booru.soyjak.su/post/view/4873
  15. File:Cobman Review 1-3.png
  16. File:Cobman Review 2-3.png
  17. File:Cobman Review 3-3.png
  18. https://archive.4plebs.org/s4s/thread/9999967
  19. https://archived.moe/s4s/thread/9999967/#q10000000
  20. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSBfXlCymkk
  21. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSBfXlCymkk
  22. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSBfXlCymkk
  23. https://web.archive.org/web/20220817182342/https://soyjak.party/news.html
  24. https://web.archive.org/web/20220727094419/https://soyjak.party/rules.html
  25. https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/5229412/
  26. Onionsbooru-icon.png hash=5a06daff25bc9df2c75b08cc1f0dbb15
  27. https://web.archive.org/web/20220816110803/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/918549.html
  28. https://web.archive.org/web/20220816110934/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/920417.html
  29. https://web.archive.org/web/20220816111155/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/921403.html
  30. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jtdh0Tkqfdw&t=132s
Cobson is part of a series on
Soyjak variants
Mouthjak.png
Main variants [-+]

Variants with over 1,000 Onionsbooru-icon.pngBooru posts

Classic SoyjakCobsonChudjakMarkiplier SoyjakFeraljakGapejakBerndA24 Slow-Burn SoyjakImpish Soyak Ears

Other variants [-+]
Subvariants [-+]
By artform [-+]
NAS [-+]

Main article: NAS

WojakNon-Wojak SoysSoy-tanWikipe-tanNPCAmerimuttChadjakGigachadPepeSidson

Cob3.png