Captain Coal

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coally coal

Captain Coal
NationalityPalestinian
Other namesAllah
Occupation(s)Pirate, tyrant, faggot
Years activeJune 8th, 2021
Best known forHijaking the sharty and installing himself as an admin
TitleCaptain
Admin (de-facto, briefly)
Political partyCaptain Coalism
Plierism
r/Markiplier
IAS?No, but he is a faggot

Captain Coal is CONGOLESE VANTABLACK BRIMSTONE straight from the FIERY DEPTHS OF NIGGERHELL!!!!!!!!!!!

Captain Coal, also called "Captain Nigger",[1] is a tripfag on soyjak.party who hacked obtained access to Soot's server the default admin account on Vichan. He deleted every board except /soy/ and created /plier/, /CUNNY/ and /j/.[2] He claims to be a Muslim, but this is unlikely as he calls himself "God". He frequently revealed the IPs of users and generally acted in unwholesome ways.

Modus Operandi

The home page of soyjak.party on June 8th

While the site was under his iron fist, Captain Coal:

  • Edited posts to end with "also i'm trans", "(USER WAS PERMANENTLY BANNED FOR THIS POST)" in giant red text, "seethe", and other coalposts.
  • Changed peoples names from "Chud" to "CUCK", "GIANT FAGGOT", "DUM BASS", etc., or their IP address.
  • Revealed the IP of anyone who spoke out against him.
  • Deleted every sticky on /soy/, including the Impjak adventure thread, and replaced them with a single sticky linking to the Markiplier board.
  • Used the capcodes "## GOD", "## ALLAH", or "## KING".

Post Mortem

Soyjak.party on the early morning[3] of August 9th[4]

After Soot noticed what had happened, he took the website down, and restored a backup from June 2, 2021. He posted an apology on the blog,[5] the front page of soyjak.party, and apologized again several other times in various posts.

Extent of the hack

Soot explained that no one had "hacked" into the server, and that this incident was merely the result of an oversight on his part. He explained (/soy/, post no. 100681):

The "hacking" was a stupid mistake on my end; I had somehow left the default admin account still active. It has been resolved.[6]

At any rate, Soot confirmed that the hacker never took control over the actual server (/soy/, no. 100728):

He didn't have any access to my server, so he was only able to see what was in the admin panel, which would be the IPs of those posting or doing other actions.[7]

But whether you believe this, or think that Soot is a (((CIA sleeper agent))), is ultimately up to (You).

Popular reaction

People were quick to jump on the conspiracy theory bandwagon, claiming that Soot's actions weren't due to negligence: The "soot left the gates open intentionally" theory is becoming more and more likely by the minute.[8] Other schizos connected the fact that IPs were leaked with previous controversies that also involved tracking and datamining (Matomo, Cloudflare...), and grimly predicted that Soot will eventually add cryptominers and sell the site.[9]

Other people stated that Soot's apology was not enough, and demanded timestamped pictures of his face, penis and "bussy" (slang for a male's anus).[10] [11] [12] At the time of writing, Soot has yet to respond to these demands, or deliver.

Random (You)'s

Several users stated that (You)'s were being placed on posts they hadn't made.[13] One posted attempted to spread misinformation, claiming that this was caused by the IPs being leaked.[14] However, this is demonstrably fake and gay. Vichan keeps track of posts locally, and all one has to demonstrate it is to open the browser's developer console (F12), and type:

JSON.parse(localStorage.own_posts))

The explanation is much more mundane: (You)'s being assigned to random posts mean that someone else's post ID overlap with the ID of a post you have submitted before.[15] A quick fix is to clear the "own posts" history, with this command:

localStorage.own_posts = undefined

Subsequent cover-up psyop

Posting this image would likely result in a 'nishment. "Proof?" Here's your proof.[16]

The following day, several posts signed by Captain Coal started appearing and disappearing seconds or minutes later. A few different Chuds starting noticing and pointing it out. Soot responded saying "meds schizo"[17].

MEDS.

A Chud stated that some posts were being edited.[18] There are two possible explanations: this post is part of a gaslighting psyop, or he just forgot to take his meds. I'll let you decide which is the more likely one, especially given that the filename is ClipboardImage.png.

At any rate, he may be right. Admins editing posts to gaslight their users "troll the trolls" (wholesome!) has happened before.[19] The (un)fortunate implication is that if admins have done this even once, then you have plausible deniability for everything you post, since there's no way to tell if it was actually you who said that, or the admins who edited it so!

Copycat

I think (peer reviewed study doebeit) that he is maybe back and that this was his doing, read the article im too lazy

Captain Coal
is part of a series on
The coal that is killing /soy/
Sources [-+]
Symptoms [-+]

TranniesNAS ♦ Pro-tranny posting ♦ CoalpostingDustBrimstone ♦ Engaging in and talking about sharty drama ♦ Pro-pedophilia advocacyCP SpamSnitchesSpamDemoralizationPorn ♦ Altchan/4chan Raiding and Jackbox Raiding slowly becoming less and less common ♦ Märgerautismus SyndromeSelf-insert syndromeBaby botVariant:UnknownShit Nobody Cares AboutSharty derangement syndrome

Treatment [-+]

JesusAdmin Thrembo ♦ KILLING ALL CORDNIGGERS ♦ Reporting bait and awful threads ♦ Organizing raids ♦ Bumping good threads ♦ Doxxing trannies ♦ Implementing a CP filtering system ♦ systemctl stop nginx ♦ Not taking your meds ♦ and most importantly... Original Content

Citations

  1. "captain nigger was able to see who lurks on website in real time." https://web.archive.org/web/20210608213440/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/100708.html#100720
  2. https://web.archive.org/web/20210608061038/http://soyjak.party/plier/
  3. (relative to Soot's timezone): https://web.archive.org/web/20220131144715/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/307770.html#307913
  4. https://web.archive.org/web/20210608091030/https://soyjak.party/
  5. Soot. My Apologies. June 8, 2021. https://blog.soyjak.party/?p=99
  6. /soy/, thread no. 100671. >Your IP address was leaked, its the new normal, don't blame me for being such a retard that I got hacked by a script kiddie. https://web.archive.org/web/20210608205008/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/100671.html
  7. /soy/, thread no. 100708. did the leak affect lurkers or was it just posters? https://web.archive.org/web/20210608213440/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/100708.html
  8. https://web.archive.org/web/20210608205008/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/100671.html#100727
  9. "[What is his end game?] silently datamining everything possible with jewscript, screen resolution, ip, os, browser, cpu cores, ram, using touchscreen or not, mouse enabled, architecture, graphics card and much much more. then after (((soot))) has gathered enough data, he injects crypto miner cookie with obfuscated code into soyparty. then he sells it, simple as." - https://web.archive.org/web/20210608215224/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/100754.html#100766
  10. "Post your cock than... [sic] With timestamp, to show how sorry you are!" - https://web.archive.org/web/20210608205008/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/100671.html#100684
  11. "this, and also Soot show your bussy" - https://web.archive.org/web/20210608205008/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/100671.html#100687
  12. "Soot claims he is sorry for the IP leaks and is posting apology after apology, yet he wont post his cock, bussy and face with time stamp. Obviously he is not being sincere." - https://web.archive.org/web/20210608215224/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/100754.html#100754
  13. "this bug is happening to me too, random posters have (You) next to their name" - https://web.archive.org/web/20210608205008/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/100671.html#100731
  14. "It means your ip has been leaked" - https://web.archive.org/web/20210608205008/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/100671.html#100895
  15. https://web.archive.org/web/20210608205008/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/100671.html#100916
  16. /soy/, thread no. 115652. is it against the rules to post this image? - https://web.archive.org/web/20210609091542/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/101652.html#q101652
  17. /soy/, thread no. 101413. >Tell me, where are these thousands of posts that disappeared because "soot" "restored" the "site" to what it "was" on June 2nd? https://soyjak.party/soy//res/101413.html#101413
  18. Chud. Has anyone else noticed threads being edited? Not pretending to be schizo, but I swear. June 8, 2021. https://web.archive.org/web/20210609133111/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/101236.html
  19. /u/spez. TIFU by editing some comments and creating an unnecessary controversy. November 30, 2016. https://old.reddit.com/r/announcements/comments/5frg1n/tifu_by_editing_some_comments_and_creating_an/