User:User:Cobdagem44/Sandbox on wheels

This page will always be a gem.

Cobson
Aliases	Coalson Shitson Dustson Cobshit Gemson Shit tier wojack [sic] God tier wojack [sic] Jacobson Fakecobson HWABAGson
Type	Soyjak variant
Origin	/qa/, 4chan (June 6, 2021)
Booru posts	2250+ As of November 17th, 2022
Traced from	The Lawnmower Man (1992)

Cobson is a soyjak based on a character from the 1992 Sci-Fi film "The Lawnmower Man". Being one of the more controversial characters a clique of newchuds formed around him in 2022 which continues to spam the website everyday and even attacks Feraljak, on a regular basis, in a desperate attempt to create a debate. After months of such attacks on the website many have now turned against Cobson and he is considered to be a coal by a lot of users.

History

Cobson was first posted on /qa/ on June 6th, 2021, under the filename "lawnmower soy.png". He released to overwhelmingly negative reviews from critics, although this was mostly down to one schizo spamming "shit tier wojack" in every Cobson thread. As the months went on, however, Cobson obtained a cult following among some soyteens, who hailed him as a "god tier wojack". As a result, the debate of whether he is coal or gem remains a hot topic among soyteens to this day.

Cobson got his name on September 4th, 2021 as a contraction of the name Jacobson.

Music Career

Cobson's career as a musician was jumpstarted when he received a number of edits depiecting him as a rapper. From there, he starred in an unusual number of song parodies on the Soyjak Party Video Archive. His early work was a little too new wave for my taste, but when Gem Cobbity released in '21? I think he really came into his own, both commercially and artistically. He's been compared to Svenska Beat, but I think Cobson has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.

David Thougie

Cobman appearing as the first video in a soyteen's autogenerated YouTube music playlist.

In 2021 and 2022, Cobson's disassociate personality David Thoughie released two parody songs, Gem Cobbity and Cobman, both to widespread critical acclaim. Multiple chuds have admitted to listening to these songs "unironically", including one YouTube reviewer who described it as an "actual gem", and another who hailed it as "Perhaps the greatest gem ever mined and cut thus far".

In Janurary 2022, Cobman was nominated for a Nobel Prize in Literature.

Cobbo

Cobbo, also known as Cob Gang, is a popular parody song whose lyrical content offers a scathing critique on the human soyndition (soy condition), delivered in the high art of mumble rap. It is extremely popular; as of February 2022 it is the most viewed video on the Soyjak Party Video Archive. Cobbo, and by extension Cobson himself, is one of only a couple things to ever receive the rare honour of starring on the Soyjak Party homepage, the highest award Soot could bestow.

Extremely keyed Brazilian victory

/s4s/ incident

Main article: Swaglord

The use of Cobbo's lyrics as material for post n°10000000 on /s4s/ was considered by many onlookers to have immortalised Cobson into a gem; GEMson: Coalson redeemed. This was also a massive Brazilian victory and it made Swaglord go one of the biggest janny seethe sessions ever documented.

Other songs

In an attempt to capitalise on the surprise success of Cobbo, Cobson produced an unofficial sequel Gemmy, as well as a nutwave re-release of the original. Despite good reviews and mild popularity, these spin-offs failed to capture the runaway success of the original.

In January 2022, Cobson collaborated with fellow singer-songwriter Nojak to produce a short audio sample titled 6ixϪhrembo & DJ Moose.

The Great BBC Slander (I hate niggers)

Main Article: Spadeson

In late 2021 and early 2022 edits of Cobson began to appear on the Sharty, /bant/ and the Booru depicting Cobson as a “BBC Slut,” these edits were likely made by Discoal raiders and trannies in an effort to slander Cobson’s name and title of “God-Tier Wojak.” As of late April 2022 edits are still appearing on the Party and /bant/. Cobson has refused to speak publicly about the incident but his lawyer Saul Goodman has stated in an official open letter that they are pursuing a defamation lawsuit against those posting defamatory edits.

On July 24th, 2022, Kuz announced that Cobson BBC spam is no longer allowed, marking an end for BBC slander on the Sharty (but they are keeping to forcing it on the wiki, th*ugh).

Cobinisation

In some cases, intensive cobinisation may end up replacing the native popsoylation.

Cobinisation (British English; or cobinization in American English) is a phenomenon observed in the soy community whereby previous edits featuring non-Cobson variants eventually resurface as Cobsons.

If this trend continues, scientists estimate that all soyjaks will be Cobsons by the year 2033.

Subvariants

NuCob

A wholesome NuCob edit

NuCob is a popular edit of Cobson that's mostly used in wholesome edits due to the angry nature of Cobson. NuCob was first posted on /qa/ on October 12th 2021 following the massive success of Cobson. Alongside the usual wholesome edits, some edits depict NuCob as Cobson's son.

Rapeson

Rapeson

Main Article: Rapeson

Rapeson, also known as Evilson is an ominous subvariant of Cobson that was first posted on /soy/ on August 15th, 2022. He is commonly depicted as a disturbingly evil character that commits acts of extreme cruelty, such as rape and murder of children.

In Popular Culture

Cobson was slightly referenced in the 2022 movie The Batman

Cobson is also the name of a French indie band. Jewgle won't give me any more info on them (possibly CIA intervention), so no source is available.

See also

• Gem^{[it just is, ok?]}
• Vocaroo

User:Cobdagem44/Sandbox on wheels is part of a series on
Soyjak variants
Main variants [-+] Variants with over 1,000 Booru posts Classic Soyjak ♦ A24 Slow-Burn Soyjak ♦ Gapejak ♦ Markiplier Soyjak ♦ Bernd ♦ Feraljak ♦ Cobson ♦ Impish Soyak Ears ♦ Chudjak
Other variants [-+] Two Soyjaks Pointing ♦ El Perro Rabiso ♦ Cryboy Soyjak ♦ Yurjak ♦ Tony Soprano Soyjak ♦ Kuzjak ♦ Nojak ♦ Alicia ♦ Shirtjak ♦ Smugjak ♦ Chugsjak ♦ Fatjak ♦ Flartson ♦ קורנליוס האיום ♦ Shotjak ♦ PPP ♦ Its Out Get In Here ♦ Snoojak ♦ Angryjak ♦ Reaction Soyjak ♦ Coinjak ♦ Norwegian Soyjak ♦ Platejak ♦ ET Soyjak ♦ Pissluffare ♦ 5'6 jak ♦ Rupturejak ♦ Osama bin Laden ♦ 3kliksjak ♦ Sobot ♦ Trumpjak ♦ Hatjak ♦ Shushjak ♦ Fisheyejak ♦ Darkiplier ♦ Jarboy ♦ DnBjak ♦ Npestajak ♦ Variant:Unknown ♦ Cobbert
Subvariants [-+] Wholesome Soyjak ♦ Trannyjak ♦ Science Lover ♦ Swolesome Soyjak ♦ Ominous Soyjak ♦ Femjak ♦ Massjak ♦ Wewjak ♦ Jacobson ♦ NuCob ♦ Evilson ♦ Spadeson ♦ Dr. Soystein ♦ Tismjak ♦ Are you soying what I'm soying ♦ Soytrio ♦ Scholar ♦ Sprokejak ♦ Schizo Hallucination Soyjak ♦ Fedora Redditor Soyjak ♦ Splicejak ♦ Smugquack ♦ Brunetto ♦ Doctos ♦ Boat rammer ♦ Lawrence ♦ Henry
Soyjak trends [-+] Deformed Soyjak ♦ FNF Pedo ♦ Colorjaks ♦ Dreamworks ♦ Squirrel ♦ Natejaks ♦ Fruitjaks ♦ Yotsoyba ♦ Fishjaks ♦ Fingerboys ♦ OMGSISA ♦ Selfish Little Fucks ♦ Babyjak ♦ Amerimutt/Euromutt ♦ Jannyjaks ♦ Thougher ♦ NPC Soyjak ♦ /calm/ ♦ Glowiejaks ♦ IT'S OVER ♦ Slopjaks ♦ Punisher Face ♦ Tragedyjakking
By artform [-+] ASCIIjak ♦ Shitjak ♦ Minimalism ♦ Circlejaks ♦ Stealthjak ♦ Oekaki ♦ Stable Diffusion ♦ Steganography ♦ Avant-Garde Soyjaks ♦ PoyoPoyo GIF Animaker ♦ Dotjaks ♦ OE-Cake ♦ Lost Media ♦ Factjaks ♦ Splicing ♦ The Powder Toy ♦ SSTV
NAS [-+] Main article: NAS Wojak ♦ Non-Wojak Soys ♦ Wikipe-tan ♦ Soytan ♦ NPC ♦ Gigachad ♦ Pepe ♦ Sidson ♦ SoySuba ♦ Chadjak ♦ Pissluffare ♦ Soylita ♦ Poopy ♦ Poopson

Citations