Autism

TEFAL IF YOU BAN ME YOU'LL STOP BEING A CVCKOLD FAGGOT LMFAO

I finally came back from the store just as the sun was beginning to dip below the horizon. I'd gone a little overboard today, I'm starting to think that it's a bad habit of mine. But in my defense, I hadn't shopped in a while so my body was basically craving a shopping spree. And who am I to deny my own needs? I was ready for a long night of gaming after my long day cleaning up the house and shopping. I just got beta access for the new Minecraft update. I set my groceries down on the table and turned the TV on for some background noise. As I sorted through my bags and put the groceries away, I saw something I definitely didn't buy. It was blueberry gum. It could be a worse flavor, but it still confused me. Did someone slip it into my cart when I wasn't looking? "Weird," I said to myself. "I'm not one to complain about free stuff, though. This'll make a funny story to tell later." As I opened the pack of gum and popped a piece into my mouth, the smell hit me like a brick wall. "Holy shit," I said out loud, as the intense blueberry flavor flooded my mouth. "That is not gum. What the fuck???" I spat the piece out into my hand and looked at it, then I realize it was indeed gum. It was the flavor and texture of gum. Maybe I'd just bitten into a particularly strong piece or something? I couldn't understand how gum could possibly taste like this, it was too strong to be real. I'm little weirded out by the whole situation, but figured I should finish putting the groceries away before investigating more. It was probably nothing anyway. Once everything was put away, I started streaming. "Hello I'm ibxtoycat, and today we're doing an update stream on Minecraft... I think I should take a nap..." I let out a yawn and stretched my arms, trying to wake myself up. The game is taking forever to load, and it was starting to annoy me. I decided to check my internet connection, but couldn't find any problems. I could have sworn I saw a glimmer of light out of the corner of my eye. I turned towards the window, but didn't see anything. It was probably just a reflection of the screen. My chair suddenly seemed a lot comfier than it had been just a second ago. I could feel myself slowly drifting off to sleep. I jolted awake and glanced at the clock. Only fifteen minutes had passed. My mouth felt weirdly wet. I touched my finger to my lips and they came back blue. That blueberry taste was still lingering, and the smell was stronger than ever. Minecraft was stuck at 74% loaded. I stood up and stumbled a bit, feeling woozy. I felt like I was going to puke, but my stomach didn't feel sick, it felt full. Like I'd just eaten a big meal. "C-Chat? Chat, I'm really fucked up right now... This... This is really fucking me up, man..." I looked down at my stomach, expecting to see a huge bulge or something. There was no bulge, but my stomach was slightly distended. It was almost unnoticeable, but I definitely had a slight tummy. I stared at the screen, silently begging the damn game to load. When it finally finished, I breathed a sigh of relief. I started up the game and tried to play. I couldn't concentrate, and kept making stupid mistakes. I even fell into a pit with zombies chasing me. "I'm just..." I can't ignore it now. My shirt just ripped, and I'm pretty sure my pants are going to be next. My stomach is stretching them so tight, I can hear the stitches starting to pop. It's not that I'm gaining weight, I'm inflating. I've heard stories about this. But those were just rumors. They're not real. "Wait... this is actually... kinda nice... I..." I don't care if I look silly. It feels too good to stop... not like I could. I can feel juice dripping down my legs, and the taste of blueberries is driving me crazy. I'm so full, and I'm still not at my limit. I've lost all control, and I'm just letting it happen. I can't get enough, and it's making me even hungrier. I can barely fit into my computer chair now, and the way my belly rubs against the desk feels so good... My ass starts to itch, and I realize that my butt is starting to swell. "YouTube... isn't gonna... want me... like this... oh, fuck it, who cares? Let them ban me..." My legs are spread wide, and my belly is spilling over them. I can feel the pressure building inside of me, and I know I'm not far from the end. I still have a few minutes, but I've given up on the game. I just want to lie here and let it happen. I can see a blue stain spreading across my carpet, and it's starting to fill the room with a sweet aroma. "Just a little more... I'm almost there... haah..." I arch my back, and let out a deep moan. It's almost painful, but in a good way. I can't stop myself from cumming, even though I know it will end soon. I'm almost round, and it's starting to get uncomfortable. "Fuck... this is it, guys... the big finish..." I close my eyes, and relax. It feels so good, and I never want it to end. I can feel juice leaking from my lips, and pooling on the floor. My legs are shaking, and my whole body is trembling. I'm so close... "Ch-" The pressure becomes unbearable, and everything goes white. There's a loud popping noise, and I feel myself crash to the ground. Juice is everywhere, and I can't even get up. I think my intestines came out, too. I'm just lying here, covered in blueberry juice, and enjoying the afterglow. I barely manage to lift my head and look at the screen. My view count is skyrocketing. Of course it would be, they've all seen what just happened. I can't blame them. Gore's popular, and so's porn. Putting the two together is bound to get a few million views. I want to get up, but I'm scared that my lungs might fall out. Wait, that's what we have ribcages for, right? Fuck it, I'll die either way. My chair's not broken, so at least I didn't damage anything besides my own body. I push myself up and manage to sit down in my chair. It's so sticky and wet, but I'm too exhausted to care. "...Well... that's it. And... thanks for... 60 thousand views live. See ya..." I'm amazed I managed to speak coherently after what just happened, but I have no time to admire myself. The pain is coming back, and it's getting harder to breathe. "Oh... and when... do I... get my... Wikipedia... article? Hah... hah... Fuck it, chat... let's go..." I let out a final wheeze and close my eyes. And all I can smell is the smell of sweet, sweet success.