Nikocado Avocado: Difference between revisions

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'''Nicholas Perry''' (born May 19, 1992), better known by his online aliases '''Nikocado Avocado''', '''<nowiki/>'Cado''', or '''POST IT''', is a [[Russo-Ukrainian War|Ukrainian]]-born [[Fattyposting|American]] Internet celebrity best known for [[Coin Slot|his asshole.]]
what the is this shit.
 
== Anal Leakage ==
[[File:Fire noodle sauce poopy.png|thumb|351x351px|Fig 1. Fire Noodle Sauce]]
Nikocado Avocado has been documented to leak poop out of his anus, due to the copious amount of [[Tranny|gay]] [[sex]] he has.
 
=== "Fire Noodle Sauce Poopy" Incident ===
Sometime in September 2020, Nikocado posted this to his [[Twitter|twitter:]]
I leaked [[Poop 2|Fire Noodle sauce poopy]] on the Dentist's chair. My ass stings and the room smells. I'm hiding in the bathroom. I'm mortified.
The tweet has since been deleted. Nikocado was later [[Turkey tom|interviewed]] over the incident on November 23, [[Fourth Industrial Revolution|2026]] to discuss the events leading up to his fecal incontinence. [[Operation Clean Stable|During the interview, he repeatedly broke into tears, claiming that he was "mortified" from the incident. He was uncooperative, refusing to speak in detail of anything regarding his ass leaking.]]<ref>https://files.catbox.moe/xn5zcl.png</ref> No known footage of the interview has ever been recovered. Nikocado Avocado would later die on October 5, 2026 due to cardiac arrest. His Popeyes order was never found. Despite his family requesting one, no autopsy was done.<ref>https://files.catbox.moe/gnp90l.jpg</ref>
 
=== "Boyfriends Dick" Incident ===
Nikocado posted this to his his Instragram on an unknown date:
I JUST FUCKING POOPED ON MY NEW BOYFRIENDS DICK!!!! IT WAS TOO BIG THAT IT MADE MUKBANG FOOD COME OUT.....Should I tell y'all the story in tonight's video and do you wanna see the poop? I haven't cleaned it yet cuz I get out of breath.
[[File:Nikocado Avocado Poops on his New Boyfriend's Dick.jpg|thumb|360x360px|Fig 2. Nikocado Avocado pooping all over his new boyfriend's dick.]]
While innocuous at the time, his post to Instagram was indicative of not only his growing depravity, but also his genius. Historians suggest it may have been a greater work than the Bible. An in-depth analysis is required to truly understand his post.
 
'''>I JUST FUCKING POOPED'''<blockquote>We start his post with a vividly illustrated scene of Cado's conundrum. Nikocado Avocado's pure anguish is expressed in just 4 powerful words, putting poets like Shakespeare to shame. All that time. All those mukbangs. All that sex with Orlin. His whole life led up to this one moment; shitting on his new boyfriends dick. He is fully aware that his asshole is ruined. This is the fate he chose. There is no turning back.</blockquote>'''>ON MY NEW BOYFRIENDS DICK!!!!'''<blockquote>The most important thing to realize about this quote is that it presupposes that the reader is familiar with the fact that Nikocado Avocado has a boyfriend, and an unstable relationship with him at that. In Nikocado Avocado's award-winning videos, the duo constantly fight, break up, and get back together. It was only soon that Nikocado [[Black people|would cheat on him for a better man.]]</blockquote>'''>IT WAS TOO BIG THAT IT MADE MUKBANG FOOD COME OUT.....'''<blockquote>The dynamic between Nikocado and Orlin is further explored. [[Chudjak|Orlins]] dick is indirectly characterized as small, setting the prerequisite for Nikocado [[BBC therapy|looking for a new boyfriend.]] In a Sophocles-esque twist, [[Buck Breaking|the dick is too large]] for Nikocado. He cannot take it anymore, and it tears open his anus. This would later go on to foreshadow his later shitscapades and eventually, his own demise.</blockquote>'''>Should I tell y'all the story in tonight's video and do you wanna see the poop?'''<blockquote>Nikocado, seeking greater financial opportunities, wishes to monetize his own shit like a true [[Jews|businessman.]] Even with an estimated net worth of $4 Million, [[Kuz|he ultimately desires more,]] revealing his gluttony in more aspects than one. He asks the viewers if they want to see the poop. This is actually a bold and highly-advanced incorporation of [https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_and_art#Fan_.28dis.29service Fan Service,] as since many Nikocado viewers have a feeder fetish, it is likely they also have a ''Fire Noodle'' fetish.</blockquote>'''>I haven't cleaned it yet cuz I get out of breath.'''<blockquote>One of the hallmark symptoms of heart failure includes shortness of breath and fatigue. The rot has already set in. His anorectal health would soon deteriorate further. There would be no end to the ass stinging. It will soon be over for him.</blockquote>
 
=== "Soiled Bedsheets" Incident ===
On November 5, 2020, [https://files.catbox.moe/y4uvsg.mp4 Nikocado Avocado soiled his bedsheets because of the aforementioned fecal incontinence issues.] He would then go on to make a legendary mukbang where he destroys 8 [[Bugs|Taco Bell tacos,]] including one Doritos locos, some Cinnabon Delights, 7 Fire Sauce packets, 2 dozen tortilla chips, 4 burritos, 1 cheese dip, and one ''"Xbox Series X"'' soda.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6x0ROz_vqM</ref>

Revision as of 22:44, 24 May 2022

what the is this shit.