Poopson Incident
Warning! The following may feature disinfo, psy-ops, or other infohazards created by the CIA. Proceed with caution.
Poopson Incident is darker than coal...
(You can read about half of this thread here)
On January 14th, 2024 at about 9:00pm, the gem that damn near destroyed the 'farty was created. In this post, a (not so anonymous now) soyteen had predicted a horrible tragedy. The creation of Poopson.
This was foretold by a time traveler, trying to warn us against the creation of poopson, and that we must stop it before 11:33pm. The thread goes onto much soyduelling, saying farewells to each other, and thinking ways on how to prevent Poopson. But to no avail, Doll joins in with their opinion, saying the following: [1]
Eventually this leads to the introduction of a mysterious admin... ϪOOT!!
ϪOOT bans OP temporarily, containing poopson, and not allowing OP to post him.
ϪOOT quickly unbans OP, when OP makes an extremely dumbass decision... They post their ban, and forget to censor their IP. The thread suddenly goes from poopson to attempting to doxx OP, which doesn't get far, because they only had an IP and no other information, making it impossible to get anything expect their city. Many shartizens start wondering why we would doxx them anyway, as they are a fellow shartist, and made a gemerald thread. Op then asks to not be doxxed, and everyone shuts up about it.
The countdown til poopson still goes on, with more and more speculation occuring to what poopson will be, while hysterics about the site going down continue. Eventually the clock strikes 11:33pm (EST) and /soy/ is completely flooded with Poopson variants. The poopening continues on throughout the night, with the original thread being left with nearly 900 replies. This was a historic moment, most of the sharty was convinced we were gonna shut down, new admins introduced, old admins talking for once in awhile, massive site wide chaos, and the grand reveal of Poopson.
Poopson has finally come and pass, never to return again.
A Collection of all notable poopsons.
Gray poopson riding dildo, was the most used form of poopson, despite it being NAP. even though the true poopson was posted:
Hark! It is said...
1. Poopson is real.
2. The 'Poopson Incident' was a deft piece of trickery by the Janny cabal in an attempt to end the age of Poopson with impotent 'jaks. None of the 'jaks in that thread were the "true" poopsons, though they serve their role. ϪOOT is smoke and mirrors.
3. The only true prophecy was 3919922. The green Poopson is forged. Only the screenshot The actual screenshot in 3919922 is nowhere to be found! How convenient... in 3919922 is an actual indicator of it's contour.
4. 3919922 was not a warning. It was the fertilizing catalyst by which poopson's specter was breathed into party's womb.
5. Every NAP is a simulacrum of poopson. Every brimstone 'jak anticipateth Poopson.
6. The real poopson was posted at exactly 11:33pm EST that day. Despite the many NAP, Poopson did come to fruition. Fortunately for the sharty, it was quickly bumped off the board within an hour. One of it's only viewers described it as such:
"It was... Disgusting. No Rapeson could dream of this horrible, horrible creature. It looks similar to this: [2]. A gaping, drooling mouth, with a little pecker popping out, while riding a brimstone dildo. It's face distorted into an unholy mess, with a veiny, also demonic appearance. It had no glasses, it was NAS. The truth is... It is even darker than vantablack... It was Black 3.0 [3]. I am undoubtedly traumatized, but I take heart in knowing... That no one else has seen poopson."
7. The true form of poopson is known as Black 3.0.
The Poopson Prophecy
Every "NAP" posted (prayed to), every brimstone forced (revered) in homage of Poopson, every goat slaughtered sireth Poopson. To "move past" Poopson is a fools gambit. Poopson is not "sharty history", it is sharty present, and sharty future. Lo, make way, here cometh the age of Poopson!
