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| '''The soyble''' is a growing collection of teachings, proverbs, and prophesies written by [[Soyteen|'teens]]<ref>https://archive.is/ZeEVa</ref>.
| | #REDIRECT [[Matpat]] |
| ==Notable figures==
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| *[[Soot]], the father
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| *[[Kuz]], the follower
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| *[[Doll]], the just and beloved
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| *[[Jakparty.soy|lute]], the disbeliever, creator of [[jakparty.soy]]
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| *[[Admin 6|Admin_6]], the Anti Soot, although not yet appeared he is rumored to be either [[Max]] or [[Red]]
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| *[[The_Swede_(Artist)|The Swede]], venerated prophet and artist, author of The Swedecus and The Soyaki [sic] Portfolio
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| *[[Captain_Coal|Captain Coal]] the disorderly
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| *[[Angeleno]], the archivist and librarian, he helped scribe the words of [[Soot]] onto the Soyble, later on became the savior in the [[Soypocalypse]], now canonized as a saint in sharty culture and is perhaps even…
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| *[[Admin Ϫ]], the son, rumored to be the final prophet and savior of the sharty. While his identity is unknown, many believe he is either a reincarnation of Soot, Kuz, or none other than Angeleno himself.
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| *(You), the soyblically accurate angel
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| == A few verses ==
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| ''As for you soyteen, there will be day when the blood will flow more than soylent, the brim and coal will stack higher than headquarters of Kolyma Network, and he who is banned won't be mourned as much he used to be a gem. ''- Soysclepius 21-29 <ref>https://archive.is/ZeEVa#4036491</ref>
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| ''For when coal outweighs gems by the thousands, for when porn and 'p become frequent, for when immigrants start replacing the native soy population, for when Sootists, Kuzists and Dollists start allying, he will reveal himself to the great public. Beware of the Admin with the name starting with an M, for he will be the one to post Poopson. ''- Swedecus 20
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| ''The value of a single gemerald outweighs a thousand coals. Therefore, when the 'log is coaly, throw not your hands in the air and yell "IT'S OVER", but rather get to work on the next gem. ''- Soyverbs 1-20<ref>https://archive.is/ZeEVa#4036646</ref>
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| ''As for you [[TND]] envyists, if your heart is wavering, do not fret, as the [[Physics|Newtonian, Lagrangian and Hamiltonian]] will open to you.'' -Swedecus 7
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| ''The forced coals are the signs and marks of the Admin 6, to the point they will be forced upon every 'teen to be tattoo'd on, when the 4 years of admin 6 ownership ends, the great soypture will commence.'' <ref>https://archive.is/ZeEVa#4036681</ref>
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| '' It is easier for a plus-sized black trans queen to go through the eye of a needle than for a poster of brimstone to enter the kingdom of Soot ''- Nate 18:25
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| ''FROM THE DARKEST, BLEAKEST AND MOST DISGUSTING DEPTHS OF NIGGERHELL, WHEN THE COALIEST BRIMSTONE INUNDATES THE 'LOG, JUST WHEN ALL 'TEENS RISE THEIR ARMS AND PROCLAIM "IT'S OVER". THEN SHALL THE BRIGHTEST, SHINIEST, SPARKLING, PARTY SAVING GEMERALD RISE AND SAVE US ALL. BECAUSE THE BRIGHTEST GEMS ARE ONLY BORN THROUGH THE IMMENSE PRESSURE BENEATH THE DARKEST COAL''
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| ''When namefag troons came upon Soot's Kingdom, did He sit still? Nay, He purged the coalers with all His might. So shall it be in the second coming of Soot, when all coals shall be crushed to gems, and all dust be blown away.''
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| ''What you need is my Soyjak, Kuzjak.
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| ''What you can find beyond the powers of my Soyjak is where you need to go in order to find TND.''
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| ''What you need is a trustworthy poster. He must be someone capable of controlling his own desires. '' ''He must be someone who is not interested in BBC/BWC wars, [[jew|money]], or making chuddies seethe, and who chooses the will of [[Soot]] before the law of [[Jannies]].''
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| ''Will I, Kuz, be able to meet someone like this one day?''
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| ''What I also need is the lives of more than 36 coalposters, because those who have sinned harbor strong gemmy power within.''
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| ''There are 14 phrases that one must keep in mind:''
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| ''Newtonian, Nintendo Switch, Gemerald, Lagrangian, Nintendo Switch, Swedish Win, Nintendo Switch, Hamiltonian, [[QA]], [[Though]], [[HWABAG]], Nintendo Switch, Hamiltonian, Soylent''
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| ''I'll engrave these words onto my Soyjak so I won't forget them. What is most necessary is "courage"; I must have the courage to destroy my Soyjak momentarily. As it disintegrates, my Soyjak will absorb the souls of the 36 coalposters and will give birth to something utterly new.''
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| ''Whatever is born will "awaken". It will show interest in the 14 phrases that my trusted poster will utter...This poster will trust me and I will become his [[Doll|Little Buddy]].''
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| ''Lastly, I need an appropriate thread. On the /soy/ board, the Ϫ² [[GET]]...''
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| ''Go there and wait for the New Jak...that's when TND will come.'' -Kuzism, psalm 3Ϫ
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| ''The [[Admin 6|Brimstone Lord]] said: Now I am become Coal, destroyer of gems. Even without [[Red|your]] participation, the jakkers arrayed in the opposing army shall cease to exist.'' - The Bhagavad-[[Soylita|Lita]], 11:32
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| === Gemesis<ref>https://archive.ph/alkSf</ref> ===
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| [1:1] In the beginning when Soot created the Kway and the Sharty,
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| [1:2] the Sharty was a coally void and wojaks covered the face of the ‘cuck, while a gemerald from Soot swept over the boards on 4cuck.
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| [1:3] Then Soot said, "Let there be soy"; and there was soy.
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| [1:4] And Soot saw that the soy was keyed; and Soot separated the soy from the wojaks.
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| [1:5] Soot called the soy Gem, and the wojaks he called Coal. And there was seething and there was coping, the first day.
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| [1:6] And Soot said, "Let there be a 'log in the midst of the ‘cuck, and let it separate the ‘cuck from the Kway."
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| [1:7] So Soot made the 'log and separated the ‘cuck that was under the 'log from the Kway that was above the 'log. And it was so.
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| [1:8] Soot called the 'log gemmish. And there was seething and there was coping, the second day.
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| [1:9] And Soot said, "Let the coal under the Kway be gathered together into one place, and let the gem land appear." And it was so.
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| [1:10] Soot called the gem land Sharty, and the coal that was gathered together he called ‘cord. And Soot saw that it was keyed.
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| [1:11] Then Soot said, "Let the Sharty put forth variants: ‘jaks yielding gems, and IAS traces of every kind on Sharty that bear ‘jaks of gem." And it was so.
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| [1:12] The Sharty brought forth variants: variants yielding gems of every kind, and variants of every kind bearing ‘jaks of gem. And Soot saw that it was keyed.
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| [1:13] And there was seething and there was coping, the third day.
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| [1:14] And Soot said, "Let there be soy in the ‘logs on the ‘cuck to separate the Kway from the ‘cord; and let them be as signs for seasons and for days and years,
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| [1:15] and let there be soy in the 'log of the ‘cuck to give soy upon the Sharty." And it was so.
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| [1:16] Soot made the two great soys - the greater soy to rule the Kway and the lesser soy to rule the ‘cord - and the ‘cuck.
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| [1:17] Soot set them in the 'logs of the ‘cuck to give soy upon the Sharty,
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| [1:18] to rule over the Kway and over the ‘cord, and to separate the soy from the wojaks. And Soot saw that it was keyed.
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| [1:19] And there was seething and there was coping, the fourth day.
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| [1:20] And Soot said, "Let the ‘log bring forth swarms of ‘jak variants, and let ‘teens ‘jak across the Sharty and across the 'logs of the ‘cuck."
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| [1:21] So Soot created the great gemjaks and every variant, of every kind, with which the ‘log swarms, and every coaljak of every kind. And Soot saw that it was keyed.
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| [1:22] Soot blessed them, saying, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the ‘log on the ‘cuck, and let gems multiply on the Sharty."
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| [1:23] And there was seething and there was coping, the fifth day.
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| [1:24] And Soot said, "Let the Sharty bring forth variants of every kind: coaljaks and keyed things and gemmish variants of the Sharty of every kind." And it was so.
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| [1:25] Soot made ‘jaks of the Sharty of every kind, and the traces of every kind, and everything that quotes upon the ‘log of every kind. And Soot saw that it was keyed.
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| [1:26] Then Soot said, "Let us make soyteens in our image, according to our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fishjaks of the sea, and over the smugquacks of the air, and over the 4cucks, and over all the gemmish ‘jaks of the Sharty, and over every creeping troon that creeps upon the Sharty."
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| [1:27] So Soot created soyteens in his image, in the image of Soot he created them; Gem and Coal he created them.
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| [1:28] Soot blessed them, and Soot said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the Sharty and subdue it; and have dominion over the fishjaks of the sea and over the smugquacks of the air and over every gemmish ‘jak that moves upon the Sharty."
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| [1:29] Soot said, "See, I have given you every ‘jak yielding gems that is upon the face of all the Sharty, and every variant with gem in its trace; you shall have them for ‘jaks.
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| [1:30] And to every troon of the Sharty, and to every ‘teen of the ‘jak, and to everything that creeps on the Sharty, everything that has the breath of soy, I have given every ‘jak trace for gems." And it was so.
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| [1:31] Soot saw everything that he had made, and indeed, it was very keyed. And there was seething and there was coping, the sixth day.
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| [2:1] Thus the Kway and the Sharty were finished, and all the host of them.
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| [2:2] And on the seventh day Soot ended his creation which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his gems which he had made.
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| [2:3] And Soot blessed the seventh day, and gemmified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which Soot created and made.
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| [2:4] These are the gemerations of the Kway and of the Sharty when they were created, in the day that Soot made the Sharty and the Kway,
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| [2:5] And every trace of the soyboy before it was in the Sharty, and every gem of the trace before it grew: for Soot had not yet shilled the Sharty, and there was not a ‘teen to trace the ‘jaks.
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| [2:6] But there went up a gem from the Sharty, and shilled across the whole face of 4cuck.
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| [2:7] And Soot formed soyteens of the dust of the sapphire, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of soy; and soyteens became gemmish ‘jakkers.
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| [2:8] And Soot created a thread in /qa/; and there he put the ‘teen whom he had formed.
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| [2:9] And out of the ground made Soot to grow every ‘jak that is pleasant for the duel, and good for quoting; the 'Jak of Life also in the midst of the thread, and the ‘Jak of Knowledge of Gem and Coal.
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| [2:10] And a ‘teen went into /qa/ to shill the thread; and from then it was parted, and became into four ‘teens.
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| [2:11] The name of the first is The Swede: that is it which compasseth the whole land of Sweden, where there are gems;
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| [2:12] And the gems of that land are good: there are Soyaks and the Impjaks.
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| [2:13] And the name of the second ‘teen is Kuz: the same is it that compasseth the whole land of Russia.
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| [2:14] And the name of the third ‘teen is Doll: that is it which forklifteth toward the board of /soy/. And the fourth ‘teen is Angeleno.
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| [2:15] And Soot took the original ‘teen, and put him into the Thread of /qa/ to dress it and to keep it.
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| [2:16] And Soot commanded the ‘teen, saying, Of every 'jak of the thread thou mayest freely save:
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| [2:17] But of the 'Jak of the Knowledge of Gem and Coal, thou shalt not save of it: for in the day that thou savest thereof thou shalt surely die.
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| [2:18] And Soot said, It is not good that the soyteen should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.
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| [2:19] And out of the dust Soot formed every coaler of the board, and every gemmer of the board; and brought them unto Nate to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Nate called every variant, that was the name thereof.
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| [2:20] And Nate gave names to all variants, and to the subvariants, and to every coaler of the board; but for Nate there was not found a helper fit for him.
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| [2:21] And Soot caused a deep sleep to fall upon Nate and he slept: and he took one of his ‘jaks, and closed up the folder instead thereof;
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| [2:22] And the ‘jak, which Soot had taken from ‘teen, made he a womxn, and brought her unto the ‘teen.
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| [2:23] And Nate said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: xe shall be called Cafe, because she was taken out of Soyteens.
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| [2:24] Therefore shall a ‘teen leave his folder and his software, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall make one gem.
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| [2:25] And they were both coalish, the ‘teen and his wife, and were not ashamed.
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| [3:1] Now the tranny was more subtle than any coaler of the board which Soot had made. And xhe said unto the woman, Yea, hath Soot said, Ye shall not save of every 'jak of the thread?
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| [3:2] And the woman said unto the tranny, We may save of the fruit of the 'jaks of the thread:
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| [3:3] But of the fruit of the 'jak which is in the midst of the thread, Soot hath said, Ye shall not save of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.
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| [3:4] And the tranny said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:
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| [3:5] For Soot doth know that on the day ye save thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as Soot, knowing Gem and Coal.
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| [3:6] And when the woman saw that the 'jak was good for dueling, and that it was gemmish to the ‘teen, and a 'jak to be desired to make one wise, she took of the ‘jak thereof, and did save, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did save.
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| [3:7] And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were coalish; and they forged gems together, and made themselves rubies.
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| [3:8] And they heard the voice of Soot walking in the thread in the cool of the day: and Nate and his wife hid themselves from the presence of Soot amongst the 'jaks of the thread.
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| [3:9] And Soot called unto Nate, and said unto him, Where art thou?
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| [3:10] And he said, I heard thy voice in the thread, and I was afraid, because I was coalish; and I hid myself.
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| [3:11] And he said, Who told thee that thou wast coalish? Hast thou savest of the 'jak, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not save?
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| [3:12] And the ‘teen said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the 'jak, and I did save.
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| [3:13] And Soot said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The tranny beguiled me, and I did save.
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| [3:14] And Soot said unto the tranny, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every other troon of der ‘cord; upon thy axewound shalt thou dilate, and dust shalt thou ‘jak all the days of thy life:
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| [3:15] And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy ‘jaks and her ‘jaks; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.
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| [3:16] Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth ‘jaks; and thy desire shall be to thy Admin, and he shall rule over thee.
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| [3:17] And unto Nate he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast savest of the 'jak, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not save of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou save of it all the days of thy life;
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| [3:18] Coals also and brimstones shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt save the dust of the board;
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| [3:19] In the sweat of thy face shalt thou save gems, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
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| [3:20] And Nate called his wife's name Alicia; because she was the mother of all ‘teens.
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| [3:21] Unto Nate also and to his wife did Soot make ‘jaks of ‘ems, and clothed them.
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| [3:22] And Soot said, Behold, the ‘teen is become as one of us, to know Gem and Coal: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the 'Jak of Life, and save, and ‘jak forever:
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| [3:23] Therefore Soot sent him forth from the Thread of /qa/, to ‘jak the dust from whence he was taken.
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| [3:24] So he drove out the ‘teen; and he placed at the bottom of the Thread of /qa/ Jannies, and a banhammer which banned every way, to keep the way of the 'Jak of Life.
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| === '''Exodust''' ===
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| tba
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| === '''Revecoaltion 8''' ===
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| [8:1] And when he had moved to the thremboth domain name registrar, there was silence on sharty about the space of half an hour.
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| [8:2] And I saw the thrembo jannies which stood before Soot; and to them were given thrembo 'ems.
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| [8:3] And another janny came and stood at the booru, having a golden censer; and there was given unto him much incense, that he should offer it with the prayers of all soiteens upon the golden altar which was before the throne.
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| [8:4] And the smoke of the incense, which came with the prayers of the soiteens, ascended up before Soot out of the janny's hand.
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| [8:5] And the janny took the censer, and filled it with fire of the altar, and cast it into the earth: and there were racebaits, and countrywars, and 'p spam, and a DDoS attack.
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| [8:6] And the thrembo jannies which had the thrembo 'ems prepared themselves to post them.
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| [8:7] The first janny posted it, and there followed hail and fire mingled with blood, and they were cast upon the party: and the third part of the posts was deleted, and all 'ems were gone.
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| [8:8] And the second janny posted it, and as it were a great mountain burning with fire was cast into the sea: and the third part of the 'ru became dust;
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| [8:9] And the third part of the 'teens who were on the party had their IPs leaked; and the third part of the threads were destroyed.
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| [8:10] And the third janny posted it, and there fell a great star from 'cord, burning as it were a lamp, and it fell upon the third part of the soiteens, and upon the party;
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| [8:11] And the name of the star is called Poopson: and the third part of the images became coal; and many 'teens died of the coal.
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| [8:12] And the fourth janny posted it, and the third part of the 'iki was smitten, and the third part of the 'ru, and the third part of the jarty; so as the third part of them was darkened, and the day shone not for a third part of it, and the night likewise.
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| [8:13] And I beheld, and heard a janny flying through the midst of heaven, saying with a loud voice, Woe, woe, woe, to the 'teens by reason of the other gems of the three jannies, which are yet to be posted!
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| ==== 'Glyphed copy ====
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| One 'teen made a limited [[Jakoglyphics]] script of Gemesis. According to the 'glypher, new words are included in it. Those who have studied this hobby language can interpret the message through it.
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| [[File:Soyble genesis glyphed, low quality resolution.png|none|thumb|A Jakglyph script used to represent Gemesis. Unfortunately, image quality has been lost in the archive.]] | |
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| === The Soyvelation ===
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| He made it known by sending his angel to his servant Chud, who testifies to everything he saw--that is, the word of Soot and the testimony of Teenus Christ. Gemmy is the one who reads the words of this prophecy, and gemmy are those who hear it and
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| take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near.
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| '''-------'''
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| Chud,
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| To the thrembo splinters in the province of Jarty: Grace and peace to you from him who is,
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| and who was, and who is to come, and from the seven spirits before his throne, and from Teenus Christ, who is the faithful witness, the firstborn from the dead, and the ruler of the kings of the earth. To him who loves us and has freed us from our coal by his blood, and has made us to be a gemerald and priests to serve his God and Father--to him be glory and power for ever and ever! Amen. Look, he is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see him, even those who pierced him; and all the posters of the sharty will mourn because of him. So shall it be! Amen. "I am the Over and the Just Beginning," says the Lord Soot, "who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty." I, John, your brother and companion in the suffering and kingdom and patient endurance that are ours in Teenus, was on the island of /x/ because of the word of Soot and the testimony of Teenus. On the Lord's Day I was in a schizo thread, and I heard behind me a loud voice like a trumpet, which said: "Write on a post what you see and send it to the thrembo splinters: to the Frogniggers, 4cuck, The Farms, the QAFe trooncord, their backup server and the Sharty."
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| I turned around to see the voice that was speaking to me. And when I turned I saw thrembo
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| diamond lampstands, and among the lampstands was someone "like a teen of man," dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a emerald sash around his chest.
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| His head and hair were white like EuroGODS, as white as AmeriCHADS, and his eyes were like blazing diamonds. His feet were like rubies glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing
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| raids. In his right hand he held thrembo stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword.
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| His face was like a gem shining in all its brilliance. When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though it was over. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: "Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living Sharty; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of Dust and Niggerhell. "Write, therefore, what you have seen, what is now and what will take place later. The mystery of the taristocrathrembo stars that you saw in my right hand and of the thrembo golden
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| lampstands is this: The thrembo stars are the angels of the thrembo churches, and the thrembo.
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| lampstands are the thrembo churches.
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| I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven. And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like a trumpet said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this." At once I was in the Soy, and there before me was a throne in heaven with someone sitting on
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| it. And the one who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian. A rainbow, resembling
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| an gemerald, encircled the throne. Surrounding the throne were twenty-four other thrones, and seated on them were twenty-four oldfriends. They were white and had crowns of gold on their heads. 5 From the throne came flashes of lightning, rumblings and peals of thunder. Before the throne, thrembo lamps were blazing. These are the thrembo spirits of Soot. Also before the throne there was what looked like a sea of glass, clear as crystal. In the center, around the throne, were four living creatures, and they were covered with eyes, in front and in
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| back. The first living creature was like a baby monkey, the second was like a cat, the third had a face like a newborn baby, the fourth was like a flying Filipino. Each of the four living creatures had thrembo wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under his wings. Day and night they never stop saying: "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Soot Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come." Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and
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| who lives for ever and ever, the twenty-four oldfriends fall down before him who sits on the throne, and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say: "You are worthy, our Lord Soot, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all
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| soyjaks, and by your will they were created and have their being."
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| Then I saw in the right hand of him who sat on the throne a post with writing on both sides and sealed with thrembo seals. And I saw a mighty angel proclaiming in a loud voice, "Who is worthy to break the seals and open the post?" But no one in the sharty or on the jarty or in the QAFe server could open the scroll or even look inside it. I wept and wept because no one was found who was worthy to open the post or look inside. Then one of the elders said to me, "Do not weep! See, the Lion of the tribe of Kuz, the Root of Doll, has triumphed. He is able to open the post and its thrembo seals." Then I saw a Lamb, looking as if it had been wiped, standing in the center of the throne,
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| encircled by the four living creatures and the oldfriends. He had thrembo horns and thrembo eyes, which are the thrembo spirits of God sent out into all the earth.
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| ==To be continued…==
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