Dr. Soyowad: Difference between revisions

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[[File:Tyronius Floyd.png|thumb|Freshmen at the University of Minnesota attending a lecture on critical BBC theory, 2021 ]]'''Critical BBC Theory (CBBCT)''' is a ficticious unified cosmological theory of everything revolving around the superiority of Big Black Cock (BBC.) According to neo-Nazi right-wing schizophrenic chudcels who forgot to take their meds, CBBCT is a CIA funded form of post-modern liberal propaganda that is taught at all levels K-12 in American public schools. However, according to snopes.com,  there is absolutely no evidence whatsoever to indicate that CBBCT indoctrination is actually happening.  
[[File:Soyowad.png|200px|thumb|right|Dr. Soyowad]]
'''Dr. Soyowad''' was employed at the [[Mental Asylum]]. He was responsible for writing many of the patient files.<ref> https://gifyu.com/album/uym </ref> An obese patient shat on him melting his face, he later had a breakdown, as a result of this he became an asylum patient himself.<ref> https://web.archive.org/web/20201125232525/soyjak.party/soy/res/26533.html</ref> He has since escaped.


== Overview ==
=== Dr Soyowad conversing with a mental patient ===
Even if CBBCT did exist (which it DOES NOT,) no white person would ever be capable of understanding it due to the implicit bias inherent in their subconscious. The only group of people that would be qualified to understand CBBCT (which DOES NOT actually exist,) is Black/Brown inner-city elders who have a doctoral degree in CBBCT from MIT University. These educated Black/brown elders from MIT have scientifically proven that white people would never be able to understand CBBCT (if it even existed in the first place) due to their implicit bias and lack of lived experiences. Thus, speaking speaking about CBBCT as a white person is equivalent to violence against Black Lives.
<span style="color: green">>Who’s the one with the REAL degree here bucko?</br>
>You better start listening before I blow a hole in one in your dome</br>
>I’m not the one who’s crazy </br>
>Take a look in the mirror look at yourself does that look normal?</br>
>I’m the one with authority because... I just do, ok?</br>
>Your insurance will pay for everything worry about that later</br>
>I will NOT let a patient boss me around</br>
>Just trust me</br>
>I’ve been in your shoes</br>
>I’m fixed now don’t worry</br>
>Shaking? I’m not, it’s just the coffee </br>
>Just because you take my degree off the wall does not make you the doctor </br>
>You WILL leave a five star on yelp</br>
>Tell the police? They won’t believe a schizo like you over me hahaha</br>
>Don’t make me call the nurses, you don’t like needles do you?</br>
>I am the science</br>
>Nothing gets past me, NOTHING</br>
>Go home? This is your new home</br>
>You WILL go back in the pod</span>


If CBBCT were real (which IT IS NOT,) then it would be impossible to write down any of its main ideas on paper. Since the white man invented writing, there is no way to write down anything that is not institutionally racist. The only way to learn about CBBCT would be through the oral tradition of the Zulu nation, passed down from generation to generation since the beginning of time.
== Patient File ==
{{Patientbox|file=Patient_Soyowad.png|id=0999|name=Doctor. Phd Jacob Jordan Soyowad|threat=9999999999%|date=2020-11-25|author=General Soyowadd}}
<span style="color:red">'''ALERT IF YOU HAVE SEEN THIS MAN, CONTACT THE ASYLUM STAFF'''</span>
 
Soy Patient File: Patient 0999</br>
Threat Level: 9999999999%</br>
Real Name: Doctor. Phd Jacob Jordan Soyowad
 
Description: Soyowad Is a former doctor, now escaped patient on the run, Soyowad used to use his techniques of brute force after the majority of staff died from The Power Blackouts of 2020, But soon Soyowad was killed himself, eventually god rejected him and satan was disgusted by his formality, so he was sent back to earth, but now his mind is strained into pieces, he went on a rampage after being brapped on by a large pair of buttocks, killing a load of patients, then escaping into the night, Soyowad is extremely dangerous and angry, constantly grunting and growling like a angry monster
 
Objectives: Stop Soyowad</br>
COMMAND SOY: FAILURE IN MISSION PROTOCOLS WILL RESULT IN TERMINATION</br>
Private Soymann: Let's go</br>
Private Soyolat: Watch your corners</br>
Private Soyogoldblatt: Look at that </br>
*Soyogoldblatt points at a decapitated corpse wearing a white smock uniform covered in cob webs*</br>
*Soymann picks up a name tag reading "DOCTOR SOYBERG PHD"*</br>
*Huh, what's thi*</br>
*A Large Claw Rips Soymann in half, the rest of the soldiers fire upon it before it retreats into the darkness*</br>
Private Soyolat: What the Fuck!</br>
*They discover a underground passage*</br>
Private Soyogoldblatt: Look, HAHAHAHA the old doctor have some cash laying arond</br>
*He points to a room with control panels leading into a empty white room that spirals into a basement filled with gold and strange fluids*</br>
*Private Soyogoldblatt and Soyolat walk into the glass white room as the doors lock on both sides, they panic as three red lasers start to move towards them, the technician tries to disable the lasers, they both parkour over the lasers, Soyolat gets his foot sliced off like a piece of butter after mistiming his jump, while he screams a large pancake grid laser comes towards the two soldiers, Soyolat gets cut into tiny cube like pieces and Soyogoldblatt stares right as the laser stops before him, They cheer until they notice Soyogoldblatt isn't moving, then his body sprays blood and falls into several hundred meaty chunks*</br>
Tech: Oops</br>
*a large creature appears behind the rest of the soldiers and attacks them right as the camera feed turns off*<ref> https://web.archive.org/web/20201125232525/soyjak.party/soy/res/26533.html </ref>
 
== Citations ==
 
[[Category:Variants]]
[[Category:Doctors]]
[[Category:Patients]]

Revision as of 22:54, 24 March 2022

Dr. Soyowad

Dr. Soyowad was employed at the Mental Asylum. He was responsible for writing many of the patient files.[1] An obese patient shat on him melting his face, he later had a breakdown, as a result of this he became an asylum patient himself.[2] He has since escaped.

Dr Soyowad conversing with a mental patient

>Who’s the one with the REAL degree here bucko?
>You better start listening before I blow a hole in one in your dome
>I’m not the one who’s crazy
>Take a look in the mirror look at yourself does that look normal?
>I’m the one with authority because... I just do, ok?
>Your insurance will pay for everything worry about that later
>I will NOT let a patient boss me around
>Just trust me
>I’ve been in your shoes
>I’m fixed now don’t worry
>Shaking? I’m not, it’s just the coffee
>Just because you take my degree off the wall does not make you the doctor
>You WILL leave a five star on yelp
>Tell the police? They won’t believe a schizo like you over me hahaha
>Don’t make me call the nurses, you don’t like needles do you?
>I am the science
>Nothing gets past me, NOTHING
>Go home? This is your new home
>You WILL go back in the pod

Patient File

Asylum Patient
ID: 0999
Name: Doctor. Phd Jacob Jordan Soyowad
Threat level: 9999999999%
Filed: 2020-11-25
By: General Soyowadd

ALERT IF YOU HAVE SEEN THIS MAN, CONTACT THE ASYLUM STAFF

Soy Patient File: Patient 0999
Threat Level: 9999999999%
Real Name: Doctor. Phd Jacob Jordan Soyowad

Description: Soyowad Is a former doctor, now escaped patient on the run, Soyowad used to use his techniques of brute force after the majority of staff died from The Power Blackouts of 2020, But soon Soyowad was killed himself, eventually god rejected him and satan was disgusted by his formality, so he was sent back to earth, but now his mind is strained into pieces, he went on a rampage after being brapped on by a large pair of buttocks, killing a load of patients, then escaping into the night, Soyowad is extremely dangerous and angry, constantly grunting and growling like a angry monster

Objectives: Stop Soyowad
COMMAND SOY: FAILURE IN MISSION PROTOCOLS WILL RESULT IN TERMINATION
Private Soymann: Let's go
Private Soyolat: Watch your corners
Private Soyogoldblatt: Look at that

  • Soyogoldblatt points at a decapitated corpse wearing a white smock uniform covered in cob webs*
  • Soymann picks up a name tag reading "DOCTOR SOYBERG PHD"*
  • Huh, what's thi*
  • A Large Claw Rips Soymann in half, the rest of the soldiers fire upon it before it retreats into the darkness*

Private Soyolat: What the Fuck!

  • They discover a underground passage*

Private Soyogoldblatt: Look, HAHAHAHA the old doctor have some cash laying arond

  • He points to a room with control panels leading into a empty white room that spirals into a basement filled with gold and strange fluids*
  • Private Soyogoldblatt and Soyolat walk into the glass white room as the doors lock on both sides, they panic as three red lasers start to move towards them, the technician tries to disable the lasers, they both parkour over the lasers, Soyolat gets his foot sliced off like a piece of butter after mistiming his jump, while he screams a large pancake grid laser comes towards the two soldiers, Soyolat gets cut into tiny cube like pieces and Soyogoldblatt stares right as the laser stops before him, They cheer until they notice Soyogoldblatt isn't moving, then his body sprays blood and falls into several hundred meaty chunks*

Tech: Oops

  • a large creature appears behind the rest of the soldiers and attacks them right as the camera feed turns off*[3]

Citations

  1. ↑ https://gifyu.com/album/uym
  2. ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20201125232525/soyjak.party/soy/res/26533.html
  3. ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20201125232525/soyjak.party/soy/res/26533.html
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