India
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India is a third world shithole located in South Asia[1].
India is the leading exporter of cotton, wool, silk, Facebook predators, YouTube commenters, spelling bee champions, IT technical support representatives, and curry-scented cologne[2].
The Indian
India is populated primarily by a subspecies of Homo sapiens known as Homo sapiens indianus. This subspecies branched off from modern humans around 3,700 - 4,500 years ago[3] and due to being geographically situated between the mighty Himalayan Mountains, the arid deserts of Pakistan, and the treacherous waters of the Indian Ocean, they were able to remain isolated and develop features not found in the normal human.
Indians are really good at counting, and have historically been marketed as a replacement to the battery-consuming electronic calculator. Though the sale of Indians has slowed, high schools and universities are still using Indians to boost their cumulative SAT scores and receive greater financial endowment from the federal government. Indians are far more fertile than the normal human, with one Indian sperm cell being proven to impregnate up to 5 women. Indians are also a subservient subspecies, which is why so many of them work bitch jobs like IT support and why it's so rare for someone like Gandhi to come along and make them stand up for themselves.
Sports
Indians are notably very unathletic. Despite having a population pool of over 1.2 billion people, India won a total of ZERO medals (bronze, silver, or gold) at the 2022 Olympic Games, I shit you not[4]. India has also never competed in the World Cup, but did actually qualify once back in 1950 but that was only because all of the other teams from Asia withdrew[5].
Admittedly, India's most popular sport by a large margin is cricket[6]. Since this sport is only played by a handful of former UK territories and because India's population is so large you would think that this is something that they dominate in, right? Wrong. India has only won the ODI Cricket World Cup twice, the T20 World Cup twice, and have never won the World Test Championship[7].
The Future of The Indian
No one truly knows what the future has in store for the Indian. One thing's for certain though: they're not going to fuck off anytime soon.
- ↑ https://www.britannica.com/place/India
- ↑ https://theprint.in/theprint-valuead-initiative/top-10-most-valuable-export-products-of-india/976791/
- ↑ https://www.britannica.com/topic/Indus-civilization
- ↑ https://olympics.com/en/olympic-games/beijing-2022/medals
- ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/India_national_football_team
- ↑ https://blog.statscore.com/what-are-5-most-popular-sports-in-india/
- ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_cricket
