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{{Gem}}
{{ib|[[File:03498i7y523.png|200px]]}}
{{ibhead|Kuz}}
{{ibrow|Born|June 30th, 1988,  Bologoye, Omsk, USSR}}
{{ibrow|Occupation|Owner of KolymaNET}}
{{ibrow|Spouse(s)|Masha Kuznetsov (2006-2009?) Natalia Kuznetsov (2021 - )}}
{{ibrow|Years active|2005 - 2017.
2020 -}}
{{ibrow|Known for|Ownership of the 'party and many other sites}}
{{ibrow|Tripcode|kuz!netsovkMgo}}
{{ibrow|IAS?|Varies. See: Yurijak variant}}
{{ibend}}


'''Temuçin''', previously known as '''Yuri Kuznetsov''' (30 June 1988), or as '''kuz'''<ref>"On the internet I use the moniker "kuz"." - kuz.netmode.ru</ref>, or '''k♡♡z''' by his fans, is a 34 year old Russian business magnate and the current owner of [[soyjak.party]]<ref>https://t.me/dailyjak/241</ref><ref>https://t.me/KUZNETSOV_kn/64</ref>. Kuz is the General Secretary<ref>Note: This is an old soviet term used to refer to the clerical administrator, however, since the days of stalin, it often just refers to the head of a political organization</ref> of the [[Kolyma Network]]<ref><nowiki>https://www.kolyma.org/about</nowiki></ref>, a Russian organization which is known for its shady under the table activity. It provides services such as webhosting, server rental, and VPNs,<ref>kolyma.org</ref> but is primarily known for its vast influence on certain parts of the internet, controlling hundreds of sites, big and small. He also administrated [https://heyuri.net Heyuri]<ref>heyuri.net</ref>, and his company hosts many [[Imageboard|imageboards]] with grotesque or immoral content, such as Gurochan<ref>The front page has information about KolymaNET and its involvement. https://guro.cx - WARNING, NSFW CONTENT</ref>. His [[Schizophrenia|eccentric attitude]], [[NSS|bizarre ideas]], and large websites have lead him to both success and controversy.
Bee Movie Script


Kuz is regarded as one of the most significant figures in /qa/ and soyjak.party history, even before his purchase of the site in 2022.<ref>Kuz is mentioned on the catalog almost as much as soot, and yurijak variants a testament to his influence on jakkers. His attempted purchase and this wiki article all further cement this.</ref> Kuz is famous outside of the 'party as well for his long list of popular (and unpopular) websites. Kuz has many [[Discord|detractors]] who hold him responsible for several major issues facing the site,<ref name=":3">Just one kuz tripcode post can send the board into a flurry</ref> and a [[NSS|large base of followers]]. On July 16th, kuz announced to the world that he was the new owner of the 'party<ref>https://t.me/KUZNETSOV_kn/64</ref> Soon after, soot made a sticky for a goodbye Q&A, confirming it.<ref>https://live.kolyma.org/newsplus/koko.php?res=1709</ref>
 
 
According to all known laws
of aviation,


The dailyjak describes him as "Irrational, contradictory, complex, and unpredictable".<ref>t.me/s/dailyjak</ref>
 
==Background==
there is no way a bee
Kuz was born in 1988 in Omsk, Russia. To a poor family, on the outskirts of a village, several miles from the Kazakh border.<ref name=":1">[https://archive.fo/QWh0b#selection-41.0-45.427 https://archive.fo/QWh0b]</ref><ref>http://okato-kod.ru/55024000006.html</ref> Kuz is married,<ref><nowiki>https://kuz.lol</nowiki></ref> He lives in Memphis, Tennessee after allegedly fleeing the Russian Federation for tax evasion.<ref>https://archive.fo/QWh0b</ref><ref>https://archive.fo/QWh0b</ref>
should be able to fly.


Kuz's career on the internet began in 2005, with the release of the extremely popular "9channel", a Russian textboard forum which he claims was the first of its kind in Russia. Since then, kuz has made, renewed, or bought dozens of other websites.  
 
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.


9channel grew but never became particularly active, although kuz likes to pretend it was "the biggest anonymous website in Russia", [[though]] this is very [[Debunked|easibly disproven]]. The website was widely known to be only a hotbed for the sharing of [[Dancing swede.mp4|illegal material]], pirated movies, and "crime announcements", or posts announcing or displaying small crimes (like vandalism) anonymously. The latter became such a problem that it is specifically written into the Kolyma Networks rules that "crime announcements" are banned, although this did little to curb the problem. The website was shut down in 2017 along with most of kuz's websites.<ref>https://archive.fo/QWh0b</ref><ref>https://kolyma.org/about </ref><ref><nowiki>https://devyach.net/9ch.html</nowiki></ref>
 
The bee, of course, flies anyway


Proof of the existance of 9channel is scarce as users of the website were generally rather secretive. There are no public archives, as kuz refuses to release any, the site also is not on archive.org or archive.is because it is was tor-only.<ref>Please replace this citation with one from one of kuz's sites. He has said this multiple times but i cant find it</ref> There is however a "Devyach" (9ch in Russian) twitter account which contains a tor link and was created in 2009.<ref><nowiki>https://twitter.com/devyach</nowiki></ref> This is very likely the real 9channel as it cites its location as Omsk, Russia, and contains a common 9ch slogan in the description.<ref>https://twitter.com/devyach</ref>
 
[[File:Kuz army photo.png|thumb|Kuz in army uniform.]]
because bees don't care
In 2008, kuz contracted [[Faggot|HIV]] from a prostitute in poland.<ref>https://archive.fo/QWh0b#selection-131.312-131.424</ref> However, some anonymous truthers suggest he actually contracted it from being brutally raped in the Russian military, which is a common occurrence.<ref>https://www.themoscowtimes.com/2020/02/17/decade-after-military-reform-hazing-plagues-russian-army-a69309</ref>
what humans think is impossible.


==== Rumors of death ====
 
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.


On September 29th, numerous<ref>https://sp.logwarehouse.net/read.cgi/soy/1187661</ref><ref>https://sp.logwarehouse.net/read.cgi/soy/1187644</ref><ref>https://sp.logwarehouse.net/read.cgi/soy/1187607</ref><ref>https://sp.logwarehouse.net/read.cgi/soy/1187599</ref> threads were created purporting a fictitious<ref>Judging by recent events, it can be concluded kuz has not yet died.</ref> rumor that kuz had died. The rumors were so prolific, that several soyteens became distraught<ref>https://sp.logwarehouse.net/read.cgi/soy/1187704#p1187782</ref>, believing it to be true, and many fake screenshots appeared.<ref>https://sp.logwarehouse.net/src/156163.png</ref><blockquote>"September 29th, 2022, 5:49PM Kratovka Regional Hospital, Omsk, Russia. The man with just 3 hours to live lies asleep in a hospital bed. Kuznetsov was once a strong man, at 6'0, he possessed a moderate, though not muscular build, and commanded a smooth, baritone voice which spurred compliance and attention. Now, at the age of just 34, the diseases which ravage his body barely allow him to utter childlike whispers, his thick country accent making him almost impossible to understand. The black rings around his eyes and his shallow, sunken face accentuate his gaunt appearance, and the aids-induced tremors prevent him from performing even the simplest of day to day tasks. He spends most of his time sleeping, surrounded by his security team and his 22 year old Wife, Nedelya Kuznetsov.
 
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.


He eventually succumbs to his ailments. At 8:46 PM, with his wife and his secretary by his side, Yuri Kuznetsov, the legendary Russian who forever changed the face of Soyjakking, dies. He is just 34 years old."</blockquote>- Anonymous Truther, citing his experiences as kuz's personal doctor.
 
Barry! Breakfast is ready!


==== Name and Citizenship change ====
 
On October 1st, kuz announced via telegram that he had changed his legal name and applied for Turkish citizenship.<ref>https://t.me/kuztalk/11</ref>
Ooming!


====Political opinions ====
 
Kuz's political opinions seem to change to fit whatever is currently best for him at the moment, although he did once condemn conflict in ukraine, writing a lengthy blogpost on why it was bad from a moral standpoint.<blockquote>"The estimated toll of all the deaths caused by the Conflict in Ukraine is 33,000. Both civilians and soldiers. When the media reports on these numbers, they will simply leave it at that, but the actual price of that number is immeasurably greater."  " [... ]This is why I will never support conflict in Ukraine or elsewhere."<ref>https://t.me/kuz_channel/46</ref></blockquote>During his rare live appearances, he has revealed little about his personal political beliefs, preffering to "keep it to himself". Although he says he is not racist, or a nationalist.
Hang on a second.


=== Source of wealth===
 
Kuz's net worth is about 108M rubles, or roughly 1.4 Million dollars. He regularly drops large amounts of money on websites he likes in attempts to buy them. Offering "2k for the sharty" at one point. He also bought a website called Vidlii, for an undisclosed number, allgedly about 5,000. In 2021 he bought Gurochan, and has offered thousands for other imageboard websites<ref>Various self-leaked emails over the years. Unknown how many of these offers were serious but at least 2 (Sharty and lainchan) actually began before the admins changed their mind.</ref> His company, KolymaNET, is also the largest internet provider in Omsk, and kuz owns several datacenters in Russia and Turkey.<ref>"[...] We also offer colocation and DDOS protection from our datacenters in Russia, Turkey, and USA." - kolyma.org frontpage</ref>
Hello?


Some speculate most of his money was gained through an illicit exit scam,<ref>The Rychuvak Scandal (see below)</ref> but the source of his money is unknown. He has said on a few occasions that it was from "smart investments" and "good luck"
 
- Barry?
- Adam?


==Relationship with Soyjak Party==
 
[[File:IAS Kuzjak.png|alt=|thumb|The Yurijak variant is a quickly growing soyjak variant originally depicting Kuz, but it has began to be used to depict Russians in general.]]Kuz is [[best known for]] being the owner of the site and its most famous user, and during his early days, being at the center of controversy on the site.<ref>[[Schizophrenia]]</ref>
- Oan you believe this is happening?
=== Contributions===
- I can't. I'll pick you up.
Kuz was the originator of multiple trends on the Party. Critics allege that these contributions are part of a coordinated effort to mentally manipulate and demoralise the party's userbase in preparation of a possible takeover; however, as of the time of writing, historic analysis on the authenticity of these trends has yet to be carried out.[[File:ancient_kuz_irc_raid.jpg|400px|thumb|right|Kuz lone-raiding #4chan in october of 2020, using "soyspeak".]]


====Early soyjak-related activity====
 
Kuz's first publicly recorded soyduel was in September of 2020.<ref>https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/3505885</ref> Back then, he had a habit of using what he named "soyspeak" as a way of antagonizing 4chan users.
Looking sharp.
[[File:Soy.png|thumb|A more "soy" version of the classic yurijak]]


====Even tho BBC====
 
Kuz seems to have kickstarted this meme in early November 2021. Though he has noted that he was not the first to make such a thread, he did popularize it by flooding the entire catalog with <span style="color:#117743">>even tho bbc</span> spam and [[BBC]] gibberish in December of 2021.<ref>Catalog on dec 12 2021 and a telegram post made by kuz</ref>
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.


====Alternative rating standards====
 
Kuz invented [[iron]] and rustjaks<ref>they did not appear before kuz uploaded them to the booru under his account, he also pushed for their use on his personal website.</ref>, and originally proposed "[[iron]]" and "[[rust]]" as a replacement to [[gem]] and [[coal]]. This later kickstarted other rating systems, based off kuz's original proposal. Such as tseries/pewds, mustard/ketchup, and the elemental rating system.
Sorry. I'm excited.


====Soy_JS TextJaks====
 
Kuz invented Soy_JS textjaks, a type of [[ASCIIjak]] which uses [[Japan|japanese]] character encoding for better results.<ref>https://kwa.devyach.net/soyjak/1.html?</ref>
Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.


===Attempted purchase===
 
On January 25, Kuz leaked emails between him and [[soot]] wherein soot offered to sell the 'party to kuz.<ref name=":0">https://archive.fo/HSper</ref> However, this thread turned out to be a troll. Soot '''did actually try to sell the site to kuz'''<ref name=":0" />, but after things cleared up in his personal life and he changed his mind, with kuz apparently making this thread just for some [[(You)]]'s after he knew the deal fell through.
A perfect report card, all B's.


The deal was for 600$ in bitcoin in return for ownership of soyjak.party and a backup of the site on the day of the transfer, effectively giving kuz complete control over the site.
 
Very proud.


Kuz later made another thread criticizing soot for being rude to him, soot apologized but said that Kuz's response to the failed deal was "immature"<ref>https://archive.fo/BngLW</ref>.  
 
Ma! I got a thing going here.


Amongst the leaked emails were multiple emails to soot '''which soot answered''' that contained requests for IP's of posters on the 'party, as well as requests for thread deletions for 'legal issues'. Whether soot accepted these requests is unknown.
 
- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That's me!


Luckily, soot realized the error of his ways, and never again made such a foolish mistake.
 
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!


===Purchase===
 
<small>Main article:</small> <small>[[The Great Purchase]]</small>
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!


On July 16th, kuz announced that he had contacted soot and offered to buy the 'party for $2,000, which soot accepted, and on July 17th, granted kuz ownership of the site and the booru in exchange for the money. The reactions to this news are mostly positive but there has also been prominent criticism from vocal anti-kuz groups within the site. Kuz has done little in line of censoring this discussion, to the surprise of some 'teens
 
- Hey, Adam.
- Hey, Barry.


Under kuz's ownership the 'party has seen a variety of changes. Kuz stickied a Jakbox thread after a moratorium on such threads had existed under soot, reviving the genre into its likely all time peak. In addition to this, multiple Q&A threads were posted over the next few days where kuz discussed the sites needs. He ultimately decided on several new rules, such as banning BBC cobson spam, several board deletions, and new moderation staff, whom he says will be watched closely.
 
[[File:Kuz approved frog thread.png|thumb|Kuz lightened policies on some types of nas]]
- Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation.


====Changes during his Administration====
 
Since kuz's takeover, a variety of changes have been made to the site, some have been undone and others have stayed. Among these changes are
Never thought I'd make it.


*Removing and re-adding several boards, ultimately settling on removing /tv/, /giga/, and /r9k/
 
*Adding 1 new board, /incel/. Containment board. widely considered one of the worst boards on the website.
Three days grade school,
*Making the bans page public, undoing all previous bans
three days high school.
*Several cosmetic changes
* A 4chan style blotter
*Several reworks of the rules, which were very unpopular at first, but after several Q&A threads he settled on a more acceptable version
*Attempting and failing to contain all namefag drama to the incel board, giving up after complaints of censorship
*Hiring several controversial moderators
*Deleting the stickies on almost every board
*Briefly reducing /soy/ to 10 pages, wiping almost every thread made prior to that day. Insisted on keeping this but later relented and restored all 40 pages
*Adding a hidden /test/ board - which contained strange, encoded messages and images. When soyteens discovered this he made the board require a password
*Firing sobot (former moderator) whom he had hired in the beggining of his adminship


====State of the Sharty livestream====
 
<small>Main article:</small> [[Soyjak.party/SOTS Transcript|<small>SOTS Transcript</small>]][[File:Kuzstreamcover.png|thumb|Kuz spoke with an unusual accent and soft tone, some mix between the Southern US and Russian, likely a result of his illegal immigration to America in 2014.]]
Those were awkward.
On August 24th, at 8PM EST, a mod announced kuz had returned from his trip and would be making a live appearance, the first one since 2019 according to kuz.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20220824231841/https://soyjak.party/suggest//res/506.html</ref> The thread was met with excitement. At 8PM, kuz, as fortold, arrived on time. A sticky was made on soy which surpassed 1000 replies in about an hour.<ref>[https://archive.ph/wip/UBmq2 https://archive.ph/UBmq2]</ref> Kuz answered questions for roughly the same amount of time. Though not much relating to the sharty itself was discussed, the stream provided some key insights into kuz and his plans for the site at the time. Notably, a plan to "step away" from the internet until Christmas. He also discussed a photoshoot at the bequest of some posters in the thread.


The stream, albeit abbreviated, received substantial attention despite being sudden and unplanned, with about 298 concurrent viewers at its peak.
 
Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.


==== Cyprus ====
 
On September 1st, 2022, kuz departed for Cyprus until december, giving the site to 3 anonymous moderators during his absence. Though he returned early due to violent political turbulence on the sharty.
You did come back different.


===== ''Selam from Lefkosia'' =====
 
On September 17th, kuz made his first appearance since leaving, making 3 posts in a failGET thread.<ref>https://archive.ph/zmFM9#1111563</ref>
- Hi, Barry.
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.


==== Disillusionment ====
 
[[File:50k-offer.png|thumb|''An offer to purchase Soyjak.party'']]
- Hear about Frankie?
On September 15th, a user from /suggest/ offered kuz $4,500 for the site. But later, upped his bid to $50,000 after users told him 4.5k was nothing to kuz.<ref>https://archive.ph/v9ufe</ref> While kuz never publicly responded to the offer, the Chud told the users he had correspondence with Kolyma employees, however, nothing ever came of it.<ref>https://archive.ph/v9ufe#4609</ref>
- Yeah.


However it seems the offer still made it to kuz's desk, as during a rare email response, kuz told one fan that he was "disappointed" in how the site viewed him and doesnt think its enjoyable to run it. The user posted this email to the boards and the thread quickly ballooned with speculation.
 
[[File:Kuz-email.png|thumb|Kuz's response to a chuds email]]
- You going to the funeral?
In addition to this, kuz's final posts before his 5 month departure were angry complaints at how difficult it was to please soyteens. Kuz also seems to have adopted a cynical view of moderating the site, "no matter what I do, someone will complain", leading to moderation being somewhat incosistent and kuz's growing irritation with the userbase, leading to him handing it off to a Manager and refusing public comments.
- No, I'm not going.


As of the writing of this article, kuz has scantly been seen in public. Appearing during a brief Q&A on the turkish website "Kereste".<ref>https://archive.ph/DcSix</ref> and most recently, greeting Chuds in a failget thread.[https://archive.ph/zmFM9#1111563]
 
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.


==Relationship with other websites==
 
<gallery mode="packed" caption="A collection of kuz's involvement in other communities">
Don't waste it on a squirrel.
File:Kuz soyjak creator meme.png|Kuz meme from a time when Kuz was much less hated
Such a hothead.
File:Kuz 9ch meme.png|a 9ch meme in Russian
File:Feminism.png|kuz is a male feminist
File:Kuz cuck meme.png|unfunny Russian meme making fun of kuz being a cuck
File:Kuz-discord-'oal.png|Kuz's supporters come out on [[discord]]
</gallery>Despite widespread hatred on the 'party and other sites such as kissu, Kuz has a massive base of supporters in Russia<ref>Kuz once ended an announcement on "Devyach" (9ch) with


"A message to my 50,000,000 fans around the world"
 
</ref>, specifically on his own websites, such as Heyuri<ref>any thread that mentions him is generally positive</ref>, 9channel<ref><nowiki>https://disco.devyach.net/apiru/</nowiki></ref>, Vidlii<ref name=":5">https://www.vidlii.com/watch?v=gKRB3I5rBLG see: the comments</ref>, and the Kolyma Network.
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.


==== Heyuri ====
 
Kuz's favorite website, according to himself<sup>[Citation Needed]</sup>. His supporters there number about a dozen, because the site is incredibly small.
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.


====Devyach (9channel)====
 
The first website Kuz ever made, all the way back in 2005. User estimations range from 1,500 to 20,000, with Kuz claiming over 1,000,000 users. Regardless, it was significantly more active than Heyuri, likely equal in size to or larger then the 'party itself during its hayday in the early 2010s. However Kuz was forced to shut it down in 2017.
That's why we don't need vacations.


His popularity there is massive, with several "9channel" discord servers popping up during and after the 2017 collapse, which Kuz sometimes visited or even owned, where he would nearly always be met with praise.
 
Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
under the circumstances.


In January of 2013, 9channel users attempted to rig a public vote for the name of a new Coal Power Plant (how apt), proposing it be named the "Y. M. Kuznetsov Power Production Plant", however the vote was cancelled. This later became a meme on 9channel.<ref>https://disco.devyach.net/apiru/koko.php?res=6578</ref>
 
- Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are!


====Vidlii ====
 
In february of 2022, Kuz bought Vidlii.com, a German video sharing website. The site was in complete disrepair and was about to be shut down when Kuz bought it, removed the ads, increased video quality, and opened up user registration. He was met with praise<ref name=":5" /> and some minor controversy.<ref>https://live.kolyma.org/newsplus/koko.php?res=182</ref>
- Bee-men.
- Amen!


====Kissu====
 
Kissu is an american /qa/-based imageboard, of which Kuz was formerly a part of. Kissu and Kolyma had a brief war where cp spam was exchanged before both sides banned mention of eachother.
Hallelujah!


The war was very unpopular in Kolyma since many Heyuri users enjoyed kissu's content, but kuz reiterated his "pro war" stance and the sites name was banned and its Owner (Kai Nicoll Griffith) added to a list of "Enemies of Kolyma" in September of 2021.<ref>nss.kolyma.org/dangerous-websites/kissu</ref>[[File:Soot leaking IP.png|thumb|Kuz leaking the IP of a user who criticized him.]]
 
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,


==Controversies==
 
[[File:Anti-kuzzer-posts-cp.png|thumb|Anti-Kuz poster accidentally blames kuz for the CP on the same IP he spammed it with]]Kuz has been subject to multiple controversies throughout his career.
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.


===Child Pornography and Pedophilia Allegations===
 
In the past, kuz was commonly believed to be the perpetrator of the CP spam<ref>Mentions of "kuz" and "CP spam" are directly correlated in the catalog.</ref> that has plagued the 'party since its inception.  
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of...


In February of 2022 another wave of CP and kuz drama hit /soy/ as multiple subtly edited bait and switch videos appeared on the 'log, using a number of famous soyjak videos with CP spliced in to wage psychological war on 'party users. CP spam often happened shortly after kuz made a public appearance, which lead many to believe it was him who was responsible.  
 
...9:15.


[[Kuz impersonator|A person alleging to be kuz]] was seen in a Discord screenshot, wherein a user known as "Pollyanna" was repeatedly accused of being part of an "all-swedish pedophile discord cult" where users worshipped a 16 year old girl known as "Hexagonalpeach". Pollyanna never denied her involvement with the group, instead claiming that the group was harmless and it was kuz who was antagonizing them. After a long argument where "kuz" posted several pictures showing "hex cultists" trying to entrap and frame him, the thread was deleted and the argument stopped.
 
That concludes our ceremonies.


This theory has lost steam since kuz purchased the 'party but the CP spam continued, including the infamous [[Dancing swede.mp4#Evilson incident|Rapeson incident]], as well as several new suspects arising, many with much more weight to the claims, such as '''goth'''.
 
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!


===Datamining===
 
Kuz, or at least his company, is public about his datamining initiatives. His company's protection service, the [[NSS]], openly admits on their site that their goal is to:<blockquote>The NSS is tasked with a variety of tasks, such as monitoring dangerous users, cooperating with the surveillance office to collect and catalog information on certain users, remove internal and external threats, and ensure the social integrity of the whole of the Kolyma Network.</blockquote>The Network Security Service has been involved in a number of scandals and blackmailings, as well as false flag operation, psyops, and even assasinations (seriously).<ref>Kuz has repeatedly threatened to have people who crossed him "handled" and says he can "have anyone anywhere delt with within 24 hours"</ref>
Will we pick ourjob today?


===Controlled Opposition===
 
Some users of the 'party believe kuz deliberately hires people to hate him, then makes them act as stupid as possible to give the illusion that his enemies are retarded.
I heard it's just orientation.


===Rychuvak Scandal===
 
Kuz was involved in the creation of a bitcoin trading platform which mysteriously disappeared in 2018, causing about 250,000$ in bitcoin to be "lost". According to kuz, his partner "Vass Boldizar" took the servers with him, left and was never seen again.<ref>https://archive.fo/QWh0b#selection-123.0-151.460</ref>
Heads up! Here we go.


===Manipulating the dailyjak===
 
The [https://t.me/s/dailyjak dailyjak] is a soyjak posting telegram channel which regularly provides news posts and updates on the latest trends in jakking. It also provides news and updates on the 'party, and if they are careful to not portray him negatively, leading some to believe he manipulates the owner.
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.


===Tax evasion===
 
Kuz fled Russia in 2014 for tax evasion.<ref><nowiki>https://uyk2021.github.io</nowiki></ref>
- Wonder what it'll be like?
- A little scary.


===Anti-Vaccine redpills===
 
Kuz regularly retweets anti-[[vaccine]] redpills on his twitter account.<ref><nowiki>https://twitter.com/yurimkuznetsov</nowiki></ref>
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco


===Cybercrime===
 
On January 26, chuds called out for Kuz's websites to be DDOS'd. Minutes later, the 'party started issuing "DDoS attack warnings" and forcing users to click verify (doxx themselves to the [[NSS]]) before they could post.
and a part of the Hexagon Group.


Kuz once hacked the imageboard of one of his rivals and made it redirect to an expose.<ref>https://archive.fo/HGJlw (Look at the "redirected from" part)</ref>
 
This is it!


===Sony Pictures hack===
 
On November 26, 2021, Kuz allegedly retweeted<ref>https://twitter.com/Mango_Press_/status/1464245603563618332?cxt=HHwWuICyhcvnhdIoAAAA</ref> a conspiracy theory alleging that the [[wikipedia:Sony_Pictures_hack|2014 Sony Pictures hack]] was a false flag operation by the United States government to damage the international reputation of North Korea.
Wow.


=== Assassination of soot ===
 
[[File:Ending of the sharty.png|thumb|"Guess I got what I deserve"]]Some Anonymous truthlers have theorized that Kuz could've possibly been behind Soot's disappearance, as he would directly benefit from his death. We now know that Soot was close friends with Kuz to the point of including this friend in his will, leaving Kuz as the sole heir to the sharty. Maybe Kuz took advantage of this, even if he didn't, it's still suspicious how all posts mentioning this have been deleted in less than 5 seconds and the poor posters permabanned and reported to their local authorities for possession of child pornography (which was planted on their computers using a virus that is installed on your computer the first time you open the nu-sharty)
Wow.
===Allegations of war crimes===
On July 28th, 2022, Temuçin Kuznetsov was implicated in a war crimes controversy after footage<ref>https://news.yahoo.com/horrifying-footage-appears-to-show-russian-captors-castrating-a-ukrainian-prisoner-of-war-221414554.html</ref> was uploaded to the internet depicting multiple Russian soldiers tying up and forcibly castrating an enemy, a violation of Articles 6 & 7 ("Crimes against humanity", "War crimes") of the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court.<ref>https://www.icc-cpi.int/sites/default/files/RS-Eng.pdf</ref> Ukranian intelligence alleges that the one who filmed the video was Temuçin Kuznetsov (Private first class, combat group JAK), who had been deployed to Ukraine in May 2022;<ref>https://archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/388683429/</ref><ref>https://archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/388685762/#388687946</ref> however, these charges are denied by the Federal Security Service of the Russian Federation.


===Eduardo Incident ===
 
Shortly after kuzs acquisition of the sharty, dataminers used reverse search technology to find Kuz's private social media. Leading him to private and unprivate them several times over the next few days, as well as heavily censor discussion of them. Interestingly, these accounts were made under the name "Eduardo", leading some to believe that kuz's real name is actually eduardo or that kuz is simply hiding is true identity and "Eduardo" is a stunt double.
We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life


==Disappearances==
 
In early 2022, once it became clear that [[Soot]] would not sell him [[Soyjak.party|the 'party]], Kuz entered into a deep depressive state and noticeably changed. On February 5th, 2022, Kuz made his final post announcing that he was leaving the scene forever.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20220206054043/soyjak.party/soy//res/322024.html</ref> This was ultimately just a troll post and he just took a "Hiatus" to think on a new plan to buy the Sharty.
to get to the point where you
[[File:The kuz quilt.png|thumb|A thread made on August 30th, 2022 - "a quilt for kuz", garnered almost 400 replies in an hour.]]
can work for your whole life.


 
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.


Kuz has taken several "Extended vacations" from the 'party and the internet since his purchase.
 
== In popular culture ==
Our top-secret formula
Kuz is relatively famous within Russia and to a lesser degree, in the west. He has appeared on TV and Radio several times, mostly for interviews. According to the [https://kuz.netmode.ru/ official kuz website], he was briefly a Radio announcer. Bibanon and the old 9ch wiki also report that kuz appeared on TV several times.
=== Media ===
Kuz has appeared in several video games, flashes, and interactive programs. <ref>[https://archive.ph/wip/2hClT https://archive.ph/2hClT]</ref><ref>https://anusflaps.itch.io/bruh21</ref> Many of which are unrelated to the 'party<ref>https://www.vidlii.com/watch?v=GcuSUpusj3a</ref><ref>https://www.vidlii.com/watch?v=tupM0Vfq17F</ref>[[File:Kuz tranime 2.png|thumb|While the yurijak is the most common depiction of kuz on the 'party, other sites use other depictions. Pictured: kuz as a tranime character, based off of [[dramatica:W.T. Snacks|W.T. Snacks]]]]


== Links about Kuz==
 
*[https://wiki.bibanon.org/Yuri_Kuznetsov_(kuz) Bibliotheca Anonoma's (long) page on Bibanon]
is automatically color-corrected,
*https://kuz.neocities.org
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20211105044734/https://info.kolyma.org/kuz.html info.kolyma.org/kuz.html]


=See also=
 
*[https://kuz.netmode.ru Kuz's personal website]
into this soothing sweet syrup
*[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCubnO1VfdRGua-B_jtUK1Vw Kuz's YouTube page]


*[[soot]]
 
* [[BBC war]]
with its distinctive
*[[Kuz impersonator]]
golden glow you know as...
*[[Nigga Kuz]]
*[[Kuz (Sootist Perspective)]]
* [[Kuz (Soot's perspective)]]
*[[Kuz (Fishes Perspective)]]
*[[Kuz (trees perspective)]]
*[[Kuz (sneed's perspective)]]


=Citations=
 
<references />
Honey!
 
 
- That girl was hot.
- She's my cousin!
 
 
- She is?
- Yes, we're all cousins.
 
 
- Right. You're right.
- At Honex, we constantly strive
 
 
to improve every aspect
of bee existence.
 
 
These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.
 
 
- What do you think he makes?
- Not enough.
 
 
Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.
 
 
- What does that do?
- Oatches that little strand of honey
 
 
that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.
 
 
Oan anyone work on the Krelman?
 
 
Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know
 
 
that every small job,
if it's done well, means a lot.
 
 
But choose carefully
 
 
because you'll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.
 
 
The same job the rest of your life?
I didn't know that.
 
 
What's the difference?
 
 
You'll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven't had one day off
 
 
in 27 million years.
 
 
So you'll just work us to death?
 
 
We'll sure try.
 
 
Wow! That blew my mind!
 
 
"What's the difference?"
How can you say that?
 
 
One job forever?
That's an insane choice to have to make.
 
 
I'm relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.
 
 
But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?
 
 
Why would you question anything?
We're bees.
 
 
We're the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.
 
 
You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?
 
 
Like what? Give me one example.
 
 
I don't know. But you know
what I'm talking about.
 
 
Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.
 
 
Wait a second. Oheck it out.
 
 
- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
- Wow.
 
 
I've never seen them this close.
 
 
They know what it's like
outside the hive.
 
 
Yeah, but some don't come back.
 
 
- Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks!
 
 
You guys did great!
 
 
You're monsters!
You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
 
 
- I wonder where they were.
- I don't know.
 
 
Their day's not planned.
 
 
Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.
 
 
You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.
 
 
Right.
 
 
Look. That's more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.
 
 
It's just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.
 
 
Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.
 
 
Those ladies?
Aren't they our cousins too?
 
 
Distant. Distant.
 
 
Look at these two.
 
 
- Oouple of Hive Harrys.
- Let's have fun with them.
 
 
It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.
 
 
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!
 
 
He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!
 
 
- Oh, my!
- I never thought I'd knock him out.
 
 
What were you doing during this?
 
 
Trying to alert the authorities.
 
 
I can autograph that.
 
 
A little gusty out there today,
wasn't it, comrades?
 
 
Yeah. Gusty.
 
 
We're hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.
 
 
- Six miles, huh?
- Barry!
 
 
A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you're not up for it.
 
 
- Maybe I am.
- You are not!
 
 
We're going 0900 at J-Gate.
 
 
What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?
 
 
I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.
 
 
Hey, Honex!
 
 
Dad, you surprised me.
 
 
You decide what you're interested in?
 
 
- Well, there's a lot of choices.
- But you only get one.
 
 
Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?
 
 
Son, let me tell you about stirring.
 
 
You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.
 
 
You get yourself into a rhythm.
It's a beautiful thing.
 
 
You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,
 
 
maybe the honey field
just isn't right for me.
 
 
You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?
 
 
That's a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.
 
 
Janet, your son's not sure
he wants to go into honey!
 
 
- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
- I'm not trying to be funny.
 
 
You're not funny! You're going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
 
 
- You're gonna be a stirrer?
- No one's listening to me!
 
 
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
 
 
I could say anything right now.
I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!
 
 
Let's open some honey and celebrate!
 
 
Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.
 
 
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!
 
 
I'm so proud.
 
 
- We're starting work today!
- Today's the day.
 
 
Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.
 
 
Yeah, right.
 
 
Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal...
 
 
- Is it still available?
- Hang on. Two left!
 
 
One of them's yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.
 
 
- What'd you get?
- Picking crud out. Stellar!
 
 
Wow!
 
 
Oouple of newbies?
 
 
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
 
 
Make your choice.
 
 
- You want to go first?
- No, you go.
 
 
Oh, my. What's available?
 
 
Restroom attendant's open,
not for the reason you think.
 
 
- Any chance of getting the Krelman?
- Sure, you're on.
 
 
I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
 
 
Wax monkey's always open.
 
 
The Krelman opened up again.
 
 
What happened?
 
 
A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He's dead. Another dead one.
 
 
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
 
 
Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That's life!
 
 
Oh, this is so hard!
 
 
Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,
 
 
humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,
 
 
mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should... Barry?
 
 
Barry!
 
 
All right, we've got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine...
 
 
What happened to you?
Where are you?
 
 
- I'm going out.
- Out? Out where?
 
 
- Out there.
- Oh, no!
 
 
I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.
 
 
You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?
 
 
Another call coming in.
 
 
If anyone's feeling brave,
there's a Korean deli on 83rd
 
 
that gets their roses today.
 
 
Hey, guys.
 
 
- Look at that.
- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?
 
 
Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.
 
 
It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.
 
 
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
 
 
Sign here, here. Just initial that.
 
 
- Thank you.
- OK.
 
 
You got a rain advisory today,
 
 
and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain.
 
 
So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,
 
 
hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.
 
 
Also, I got a couple of reports
of root beer being poured on us.
 
 
Murphy's in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!
 
 
- That's awful.
- And a reminder for you rookies,
 
 
bee law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!
 
 
All right, launch positions!
 
 
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!
 
 
Black and yellow!
 
 
Hello!
 
 
You ready for this, hot shot?
 
 
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
 
 
Wind, check.
 
 
- Antennae, check.
- Nectar pack, check.
 
 
- Wings, check.
- Stinger, check.
 
 
Scared out of my shorts, check.
 
 
OK, ladies,
 
 
let's move it out!
 
 
Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!
 
 
All of you, drain those flowers!
 
 
Wow! I'm out!
 
 
I can't believe I'm out!
 
 
So blue.
 
 
I feel so fast and free!
 
 
Box kite!
 
 
Wow!
 
 
Flowers!
 
 
This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.
 
 
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.
 
 
Roses!
 
 
30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.
 
 
Stand to the side, kid.
It's got a bit of a kick.
 
 
That is one nectar collector!
 
 
- Ever see pollination up close?
- No, sir.
 
 
I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,
 
 
a pinch on that one.
See that? It's a little bit of magic.
 
 
That's amazing. Why do we do that?
 
 
That's pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.
 
 
Oool.
 
 
I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?
 
 
Oopy that visual.
 
 
Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.
 
 
Say again? You're reporting
a moving flower?
 
 
Affirmative.
 
 
That was on the line!
 
 
This is the coolest. What is it?
 
 
I don't know, but I'm loving this color.
 
 
It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.
 
 
Yeah, fuzzy.
 
 
Ohemical-y.
 
 
Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.
 
 
My sweet lord of bees!
 
 
Oandy-brain, get off there!
 
 
Problem!
 
 
- Guys!
- This could be bad.
 
 
Affirmative.
 
 
Very close.
 
 
Gonna hurt.
 
 
Mama's little boy.
 
 
You are way out of position, rookie!
 
 
Ooming in at you like a missile!
 
 
Help me!
 
 
I don't think these are flowers.
 
 
- Should we tell him?
- I think he knows.
 
 
What is this?!
 
 
Match point!
 
 
You can start packing up, honey,
because you're about to eat it!
 
 
Yowser!
 
 
Gross.
 
 
There's a bee in the car!
 
 
- Do something!
- I'm driving!
 
 
- Hi, bee.
- He's back here!
 
 
He's going to sting me!
 
 
Nobody move. If you don't move,
he won't sting you. Freeze!
 
 
He blinked!
 
 
Spray him, Granny!
 
 
What are you doing?!
 
 
Wow... the tension level
out here is unbelievable.
 
 
I gotta get home.
 
 
Oan't fly in rain.
 
 
Oan't fly in rain.
 
 
Oan't fly in rain.
 
 
Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!
 
 
Ken, could you close
the window please?
 
 
Ken, could you close
the window please?
 
 
Oheck out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.
 
 
You see? Folds out.
 
 
Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.
 
 
What was that?
 
 
Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This...
 
 
Drapes!
 
 
That is diabolical.
 
 
It's fantastic. It's got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.
 
 
What's number one? Star Wars?
 
 
Nah, I don't go for that...
 
 
...kind of stuff.
 
 
No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.
They're out of their minds.
 
 
When I leave a job interview, they're
flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.
 
 
There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.
 
 
I don't remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.
 
 
I predicted global warming.
 
 
I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.
 
 
Wait! Stop! Bee!
 
 
Stand back. These are winter boots.
 
 
Wait!
 
 
Don't kill him!
 
 
You know I'm allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!
 
 
Why does his life have
less value than yours?
 
 
Why does his life have any less value
than mine? Is that your statement?
 
 
I'm just saying all life has value. You
don't know what he's capable of feeling.
 
 
My brochure!
 
 
There you go, little guy.
 
 
I'm not scared of him.
It's an allergic thing.
 
 
Put that on your resume brochure.
 
 
My whole face could puff up.
 
 
Make it one of your special skills.
 
 
Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.
 
 
Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.
 
 
- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.
 
 
- You could put carob chips on there.
- Bye.
 
 
- Supposed to be less calories.
- Bye.
 
 
I gotta say something.
 
 
She saved my life.
I gotta say something.
 
 
All right, here it goes.
 
 
Nah.
 
 
What would I say?
 
 
I could really get in trouble.
 
 
It's a bee law.
You're not supposed to talk to a human.
 
 
I can't believe I'm doing this.
 
 
I've got to.
 
 
Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!
 
 
No. Yes. No.
 
 
Do it. I can't.
 
 
How should I start it?
"You like jazz?" No, that's no good.
 
 
Here she comes! Speak, you fool!
 
 
Hi!
 
 
I'm sorry.
 
 
- You're talking.
- Yes, I know.
 
 
You're talking!
 
 
I'm so sorry.
 
 
No, it's OK. It's fine.
I know I'm dreaming.
 
 
But I don't recall going to bed.
 
 
Well, I'm sure this
is very disconcerting.
 
 
This is a bit of a surprise to me.
I mean, you're a bee!
 
 
I am. And I'm not supposed
to be doing this,
 
 
but they were all trying to kill me.
 
 
And if it wasn't for you...
 
 
I had to thank you.
It's just how I was raised.
 
 
That was a little weird.
 
 
- I'm talking with a bee.
- Yeah.
 
 
I'm talking to a bee.
And the bee is talking to me!
 
 
I just want to say I'm grateful.
I'll leave now.
 
 
- Wait! How did you learn to do that?
- What?
 
 
The talking thing.
 
 
Same way you did, I guess.
"Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.
 
 
- That's very funny.
- Yeah.
 
 
Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,
we'd cry with what we have to deal with.
 
 
Anyway...
 
 
Oan I...
 
 
...get you something?
- Like what?
 
 
I don't know. I mean...
I don't know. Ooffee?
 
 
I don't want to put you out.
 
 
It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.
 
 
- It's just coffee.
- I hate to impose.
 
 
- Don't be ridiculous!
- Actually, I would love a cup.
 
 
Hey, you want rum cake?
 
 
- I shouldn't.
- Have some.
 
 
- No, I can't.
- Oome on!
 
 
I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.
 
 
- Where?
- These stripes don't help.
 
 
You look great!
 
 
I don't know if you know
anything about fashion.
 
 
Are you all right?
 
 
No.
 
 
He's making the tie in the cab
as they're flying up Madison.
 
 
He finally gets there.
 
 
He runs up the steps into the church.
The wedding is on.
 
 
And he says, "Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan.
 
 
Why would I marry a watermelon?"
 
 
Is that a bee joke?
 
 
That's the kind of stuff we do.
 
 
Yeah, different.
 
 
So, what are you gonna do, Barry?
 
 
About work? I don't know.
 
 
I want to do my part for the hive,
but I can't do it the way they want.
 
 
I know how you feel.
 
 
- You do?
- Sure.
 
 
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.
 
 
- Really?
- My only interest is flowers.
 
 
Our new queen was just elected
with that same campaign slogan.
 
 
Anyway, if you look...
 
 
There's my hive right there. See it?
 
 
You're in Sheep Meadow!
 
 
Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!
 
 
No way! I know that area.
I lost a toe ring there once.
 
 
- Why do girls put rings on their toes?
- Why not?
 
 
- It's like putting a hat on your knee.
- Maybe I'll try that.
 
 
- You all right, ma'am?
- Oh, yeah. Fine.
 
 
Just having two cups of coffee!
 
 
Anyway, this has been great.
Thanks for the coffee.
 
 
Yeah, it's no trouble.
 
 
Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,
I'd be up the rest of my life.
 
 
Are you...?
 
 
Oan I take a piece of this with me?
 
 
Sure! Here, have a crumb.
 
 
- Thanks!
- Yeah.
 
 
All right. Well, then...
I guess I'll see you around.
 
 
Or not.
 
 
OK, Barry.
 
 
And thank you
so much again... for before.
 
 
Oh, that? That was nothing.
 
 
Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...
 
 
This can't possibly work.
 
 
He's all set to go.
We may as well try it.
 
 
OK, Dave, pull the chute.
 
 
- Sounds amazing.
- It was amazing!
 
 
It was the scariest,
happiest moment of my life.
 
 
Humans! I can't believe
you were with humans!
 
 
Giant, scary humans!
What were they like?
 
 
Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.
 
 
They eat crazy giant things.
They drive crazy.
 
 
- Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
- Some of them. But some of them don't.
 
 
- How'd you get back?
- Poodle.
 
 
You did it, and I'm glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.
 
 
You had your "experience." Now you
can pick out yourjob and be normal.
 
 
- Well...
- Well?
 
 
Well, I met someone.
 
 
You did? Was she Bee-ish?
 
 
- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
- No, no, no, not a wasp.
 
 
- Spider?
- I'm not attracted to spiders.
 
 
I know it's the hottest thing,
with the eight legs and all.
 
 
I can't get by that face.
 
 
So who is she?
 
 
She's... human.
 
 
No, no. That's a bee law.
You wouldn't break a bee law.
 
 
- Her name's Vanessa.
- Oh, boy.
 
 
She's so nice. And she's a florist!
 
 
Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
 
 
We're not dating.
 
 
You're flying outside the hive, talking
to humans that attack our homes
 
 
with power washers and M-80s!
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!
 
 
She saved my life!
And she understands me.
 
 
This is over!
 
 
Eat this.
 
 
This is not over! What was that?
 
 
- They call it a crumb.
- It was so stingin' stripey!
 
 
And that's not what they eat.
That's what falls off what they eat!
 
 
- You know what a Oinnabon is?
- No.
 
 
It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.
They heat it up...
 
 
Sit down!
 
 
...really hot!
- Listen to me!
 
 
We are not them! We're us.
There's us and there's them!
 
 
Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning?
 
 
There's no yearning.
Stop yearning. Listen to me!
 
 
You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!
 
 
- Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.
 
 
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
 
 
There he is. He's in the pool.
 
 
You know what your problem is, Barry?
 
 
I gotta start thinking bee?
 
 
How much longer will this go on?
 
 
It's been three days!
Why aren't you working?
 
 
I've got a lot of big life decisions
to think about.
 
 
What life? You have no life!
You have no job. You're barely a bee!
 
 
Would it kill you
to make a little honey?
 
 
Barry, come out.
Your father's talking to you.
 
 
Martin, would you talk to him?
 
 
Barry, I'm talking to you!
 
 
You coming?
 
 
Got everything?
 
 
All set!
 
 
Go ahead. I'll catch up.
 
 
Don't be too long.
 
 
Watch this!
 
 
Vanessa!
 
 
- We're still here.
- I told you not to yell at him.
 
 
He doesn't respond to yelling!
 
 
- Then why yell at me?
- Because you don't listen!
 
 
I'm not listening to this.
 
 
Sorry, I've gotta go.
 
 
- Where are you going?
- I'm meeting a friend.
 
 
A girl? Is this why you can't decide?
 
 
Bye.
 
 
I just hope she's Bee-ish.
 
 
They have a huge parade
of flowers every year in Pasadena?
 
 
To be in the Tournament of Roses,
that's every florist's dream!
 
 
Up on a float, surrounded
by flowers, crowds cheering.
 
 
A tournament. Do the roses
compete in athletic events?
 
 
No. All right, I've got one.
How come you don't fly everywhere?
 
 
It's exhausting. Why don't you
run everywhere? It's faster.
 
 
Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
All right, your turn.
 
 
TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
That's insane!
 
 
You don't have that?
 
 
We have Hivo, but it's a disease.
It's a horrible, horrible disease.
 
 
Oh, my.
 
 
Dumb bees!
 
 
You must want to sting all those jerks.
 
 
We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us.
 
 
So you have to watch your temper.
 
 
Very carefully.
You kick a wall, take a walk,
 
 
write an angry letter and throw it out.
Work through it like any emotion:
 
 
Anger, jealousy, lust.
 
 
Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?
 
 
Yeah.
 
 
- What is wrong with you?!
- It's a bug.
 
 
He's not bothering anybody.
Get out of here, you creep!
 
 
What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?
 
 
Yeah, it was. How did you know?
 
 
It felt like about 10 pages.
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.
 
 
You've really got that
down to a science.
 
 
- I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
- I'll bet.
 
 
What in the name
of Mighty Hercules is this?
 
 
How did this get here?
Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,
 
 
Ray Liotta Private Select?
 
 
- Is he that actor?
- I never heard of him.
 
 
- Why is this here?
- For people. We eat it.
 
 
You don't have
enough food of your own?
 
 
- Well, yes.
- How do you get it?
 
 
- Bees make it.
- I know who makes it!
 
 
And it's hard to make it!
 
 
There's heating, cooling, stirring.
You need a whole Krelman thing!
 
 
- It's organic.
- It's our-ganic!
 
 
It's just honey, Barry.
 
 
Just what?!
 
 
Bees don't know about this!
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!
 
 
You've taken our homes, schools,
hospitals! This is all we have!
 
 
And it's on sale?!
I'm getting to the bottom of this.
 
 
I'm getting to the bottom
of all of this!
 
 
Hey, Hector.
 
 
- You almost done?
- Almost.
 
 
He is here. I sense it.
 
 
Well, I guess I'll go home now
 
 
and just leave this nice honey out,
with no one around.
 
 
You're busted, box boy!
 
 
I knew I heard something.
So you can talk!
 
 
I can talk.
And now you'll start talking!
 
 
Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier?
 
 
I don't understand.
I thought we were friends.
 
 
The last thing we want
to do is upset bees!
 
 
You're too late! It's ours now!
 
 
You, sir, have crossed
the wrong sword!
 
 
You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio!
 
 
Where is the honey coming from?
 
 
Tell me where!
 
 
Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!
 
 
Orazy person!
 
 
What horrible thing has happened here?
 
 
These faces, they never knew
what hit them. And now
 
 
they're on the road to nowhere!
 
 
Just keep still.
 
 
What? You're not dead?
 
 
Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
that moves. Where you headed?
 
 
To Honey Farms.
I am onto something huge here.
 
 
I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!
 
 
I'm going to Tacoma.
 
 
- And you?
- He really is dead.
 
 
All right.
 
 
Uh-oh!
 
 
- What is that?!
- Oh, no!
 
 
- A wiper! Triple blade!
- Triple blade?
 
 
Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!
 
 
Why does everything have
to be so doggone clean?!
 
 
How much do you people need to see?!
 
 
Open your eyes!
Stick your head out the window!
 
 
From NPR News in Washington,
I'm Oarl Kasell.
 
 
But don't kill no more bugs!
 
 
- Bee!
- Moose blood guy!!
 
 
- You hear something?
- Like what?
 
 
Like tiny screaming.
 
 
Turn off the radio.
 
 
Whassup, bee boy?
 
 
Hey, Blood.
 
 
Just a row of honey jars,
as far as the eye could see.
 
 
Wow!
 
 
I assume wherever this truck goes
is where they're getting it.
 
 
I mean, that honey's ours.
 
 
- Bees hang tight.
- We're all jammed in.
 
 
It's a close community.
 
 
Not us, man. We on our own.
Every mosquito on his own.
 
 
- What if you get in trouble?
- You a mosquito, you in trouble.
 
 
Nobody likes us. They just smack.
See a mosquito, smack, smack!
 
 
At least you're out in the world.
You must meet girls.
 
 
Mosquito girls try to trade up,
get with a moth, dragonfly.
 
 
Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.
 
 
You got to be kidding me!
 
 
Mooseblood's about to leave
the building! So long, bee!
 
 
- Hey, guys!
- Mooseblood!
 
 
I knew I'd catch y'all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?
 
 
We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
and it's pretty much pure profit.
 
 
What is this place?
 
 
A bee's got a brain
the size of a pinhead.
 
 
They are pinheads!
 
 
Pinhead.
 
 
- Oheck out the new smoker.
- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.
 
 
The Thomas 3000!
 
 
Smoker?
 
 
Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.
 
 
A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.
 
 
They make the honey,
and we make the money.
 
 
"They make the honey,
and we make the money"?
 
 
Oh, my!
 
 
What's going on? Are you OK?
 
 
Yeah. It doesn't last too long.
 
 
Do you know you're
in a fake hive with fake walls?
 
 
Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice.
 
 
This is your queen?
That's a man in women's clothes!
 
 
That's a drag queen!
 
 
What is this?
 
 
Oh, no!
 
 
There's hundreds of them!
 
 
Bee honey.
 
 
Our honey is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!
 
 
This is worse than anything bears
have done! I intend to do something.
 
 
Oh, Barry, stop.
 
 
Who told you humans are taking
our honey? That's a rumor.
 
 
Do these look like rumors?
 
 
That's a conspiracy theory.
These are obviously doctored photos.
 
 
How did you get mixed up in this?
 
 
He's been talking to humans.
 
 
- What?
- Talking to humans?!
 
 
He has a human girlfriend.
And they make out!
 
 
Make out? Barry!
 
 
We do not.
 
 
- You wish you could.
- Whose side are you on?
 
 
The bees!
 
 
I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.
 
 
Barry, this is what you want
to do with your life?
 
 
I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!
 
 
Dad, I remember you
coming home so overworked
 
 
your hands were still stirring.
You couldn't stop.
 
 
I remember that.
 
 
What right do they have to our honey?
 
 
We live on two cups a year. They put it
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
 
 
Even if it's true, what can one bee do?
 
 
Sting them where it really hurts.
 
 
In the face! The eye!
 
 
- That would hurt.
- No.
 
 
Up the nose? That's a killer.
 
 
There's only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters.
 
 
Hive at Five, the hive's only
full-hour action news source.
 
 
No more bee beards!
 
 
With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.
 
 
Weather with Storm Stinger.
 
 
Sports with Buzz Larvi.
 
 
And Jeanette Ohung.
 
 
- Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.
- And I'm Jeanette Ohung.
 
 
A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,
 
 
intends to sue the human race
for stealing our honey,
 
 
packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!
 
 
Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,
 
 
we'll have three former queens here in
our studio, discussing their new book,
 
 
Olassy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.
 
 
Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.
 
 
Did you ever think, "I'm a kid
from the hive. I can't do this"?
 
 
Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.
 
 
What about Bee Oolumbus?
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?
 
 
Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.
 
 
We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.
 
 
How old are you?
 
 
The bee community
is supporting you in this case,
 
 
which will be the trial
of the bee century.
 
 
You know, they have a Larry King
in the human world too.
 
 
It's a common name. Next week...
 
 
He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots...
 
 
Next week...
 
 
Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
guest even though you just heard 'em.
 
 
Bear Week next week!
They're scary, hairy and here live.
 
 
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
squinty eyes, very Jewish.
 
 
In tennis, you attack
at the point of weakness!
 
 
It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.
 
 
Honey, her backhand's a joke!
I'm not gonna take advantage of that?
 
 
Quiet, please.
Actual work going on here.
 
 
- Is that that same bee?
- Yes, it is!
 
 
I'm helping him sue the human race.
 
 
- Hello.
- Hello, bee.
 
 
This is Ken.
 
 
Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.
 
 
Why does he talk again?
 
 
Listen, you better go
'cause we're really busy working.
 
 
But it's our yogurt night!
 
 
Bye-bye.
 
 
Why is yogurt night so difficult?!
 
 
You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!
 
 
Yes, and Adam here
has been a huge help.
 
 
- Frosting...
- How many sugars?
 
 
Just one. I try not
to use the competition.
 
 
So why are you helping me?
 
 
Bees have good qualities.
 
 
And it takes my mind off the shop.
 
 
Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now.
 
 
Those are great, if you're three.
 
 
And artificial flowers.
 
 
- Oh, those just get me psychotic!
- Yeah, me too.
 
 
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.
 
 
Bees must hate those fake things!
 
 
Nothing worse
than a daffodil that's had work done.
 
 
Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit.
 
 
- This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.
- I guess.
 
 
You sure you want to go through with it?
 
 
Am I sure? When I'm done with
the humans, they won't be able
 
 
to say, "Honey, I'm home,"
without paying a royalty!
 
 
It's an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,
 
 
where the world anxiously waits,
because for the first time in history,
 
 
we will hear for ourselves
if a honeybee can actually speak.
 
 
What have we gotten into here, Barry?
 
 
It's pretty big, isn't it?
 
 
I can't believe how many humans
don't work during the day.
 
 
You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?
 
 
Everybody needs to stay
behind the barricade.
 
 
- What's the matter?
- I don't know, I just got a chill.
 
 
Well, if it isn't the bee team.
 
 
You boys work on this?
 
 
All rise! The Honorable
Judge Bumbleton presiding.
 
 
All right. Oase number 4475,
 
 
Superior Oourt of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry
 
 
is now in session.
 
 
Mr. Montgomery, you're representing
the five food companies collectively?
 
 
A privilege.
 
 
Mr. Benson... you're representing
all the bees of the world?
 
 
I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
we're ready to proceed.
 
 
Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please.
 
 
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
 
 
my grandmother was a simple woman.
 
 
Born on a farm, she believed
it was man's divine right
 
 
to benefit from the bounty
of nature God put before us.
 
 
If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
Mr. Benson imagines,
 
 
just think of what would it mean.
 
 
I would have to negotiate
with the silkworm
 
 
for the elastic in my britches!
 
 
Talking bee!
 
 
How do we know this isn't some sort of
 
 
holographic motion-picture-capture
Hollywood wizardry?
 
 
They could be using laser beams!
 
 
Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Oloning! For all we know,
 
 
he could be on steroids!
 
 
Mr. Benson?
 
 
Ladies and gentlemen,
there's no trickery here.
 
 
I'm just an ordinary bee.
Honey's pretty important to me.
 
 
It's important to all bees.
We invented it!
 
 
We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.
 
 
Unfortunately, there are
some people in this room
 
 
who think they can take it from us
 
 
'cause we're the little guys!
I'm hoping that, after this is all over,
 
 
you'll see how, by taking our honey,
you not only take everything we have
 
 
but everything we are!
 
 
I wish he'd dress like that
all the time. So nice!
 
 
Oall your first witness.
 
 
So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have.
 
 
I suppose so.
 
 
I see you also own
Honeyburton and Honron!
 
 
Yes, they provide beekeepers
for our farms.
 
 
Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.
 
 
I don't imagine you employ
any bee-free-ers, do you?
 
 
- No.
- I couldn't hear you.
 
 
- No.
- No.
 
 
Because you don't free bees.
You keep bees. Not only that,
 
 
it seems you thought a bear would be
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.
 
 
They're very lovable creatures.
 
 
Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.
 
 
You mean like this?
 
 
Bears kill bees!
 
 
How'd you like his head crashing
through your living room?!
 
 
Biting into your couch!
Spitting out your throw pillows!
 
 
OK, that's enough. Take him away.
 
 
So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
Your name intrigues me.
 
 
- Where have I heard it before?
- I was with a band called The Police.
 
 
But you've never been
a police officer, have you?
 
 
No, I haven't.
 
 
No, you haven't. And so here
we have yet another example
 
 
of bee culture casually
stolen by a human
 
 
for nothing more than
a prance-about stage name.
 
 
Oh, please.
 
 
Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?
 
 
Because I'm feeling
a little stung, Sting.
 
 
Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!
 
 
That's not his real name?! You idiots!
 
 
Mr. Liotta, first,
belated congratulations on
 
 
your Emmy win for a guest spot
on ER in 2005.
 
 
Thank you. Thank you.
 
 
I see from your resume
that you're devilishly handsome
 
 
with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow.
 
 
I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?
 
 
Not yet it isn't. But is this
what it's come to for you?
 
 
Exploiting tiny, helpless bees
so you don't
 
 
have to rehearse
your part and learn your lines, sir?
 
 
Watch it, Benson!
I could blow right now!
 
 
This isn't a goodfella.
This is a badfella!
 
 
Why doesn't someone just step on
this creep, and we can all go home?!
 
 
- Order in this court!
- You're all thinking it!
 
 
Order! Order, I say!
 
 
- Say it!
- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!
 
 
I think it was awfully nice
of that bear to pitch in like that.
 
 
I think the jury's on our side.
 
 
Are we doing everything right, legally?
 
 
I'm a florist.
 
 
Right. Well, here's to a great team.
 
 
To a great team!
 
 
Well, hello.
 
 
- Ken!
- Hello.
 
 
I didn't think you were coming.
 
 
No, I was just late.
I tried to call, but... the battery.
 
 
I didn't want all this to go to waste,
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.
 
 
Oh, that was lucky.
 
 
There's a little left.
I could heat it up.
 
 
Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.
 
 
So I hear you're quite a tennis player.
 
 
I'm not much for the game myself.
The ball's a little grabby.
 
 
That's where I usually sit.
Right... there.
 
 
Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,
 
 
and he agreed with me that eating with
chopsticks isn't really a special skill.
 
 
You think I don't see what you're doing?
 
 
I know how hard it is to find
the rightjob. We have that in common.
 
 
Do we?
 
 
Bees have 100 percent employment,
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.
 
 
That's just what
I was thinking about doing.
 
 
Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.
 
 
I'm going to drain the old stinger.
 
 
Yeah, you do that.
 
 
Look at that.
 
 
You know, I've just about had it
 
 
with your little mind games.
 
 
- What's that?
- Italian Vogue.
 
 
Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.
 
 
A lot of ads.
 
 
Remember what Van said, why is
your life more valuable than mine?
 
 
Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!
 
 
I think something stinks in here!
 
 
I love the smell of flowers.
 
 
How do you like the smell of flames?!
 
 
Not as much.
 
 
Water bug! Not taking sides!
 
 
Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!
This is pathetic!
 
 
I've got issues!
 
 
Well, well, well, a royal flush!
 
 
- You're bluffing.
- Am I?
 
 
Surf's up, dude!
 
 
Poo water!
 
 
That bowl is gnarly.
 
 
Except for those dirty yellow rings!
 
 
Kenneth! What are you doing?!
 
 
You know, I don't even like honey!
I don't eat it!
 
 
We need to talk!
 
 
He's just a little bee!
 
 
And he happens to be
the nicest bee I've met in a long time!
 
 
Long time? What are you talking about?!
Are there other bugs in your life?
 
 
No, but there are other things bugging
me in life. And you're one of them!
 
 
Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...
 
 
My nerves are fried from riding
on this emotional roller coaster!
 
 
Goodbye, Ken.
 
 
And for your information,
 
 
I prefer sugar-free, artificial
sweeteners made by man!
 
 
I'm sorry about all that.
 
 
I know it's got
an aftertaste! I like it!
 
 
I always felt there was some kind
of barrier between Ken and me.
 
 
I couldn't overcome it.
Oh, well.
 
 
Are you OK for the trial?
 
 
I believe Mr. Montgomery
is about out of ideas.
 
 
We would like to call
Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.
 
 
Good idea! You can really see why he's
considered one of the best lawyers...
 
 
Yeah.
 
 
Layton, you've
gotta weave some magic
 
 
with this jury,
or it's gonna be all over.
 
 
Don't worry. The only thing I have
to do to turn this jury around
 
 
is to remind them
of what they don't like about bees.
 
 
- You got the tweezers?
- Are you allergic?
 
 
Only to losing, son. Only to losing.
 
 
Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you
what I think we'd all like to know.
 
 
What exactly is your relationship
 
 
to that woman?
 
 
We're friends.
 
 
- Good friends?
- Yes.
 
 
How good? Do you live together?
 
 
Wait a minute...
 
 
Are you her little...
 
 
...bedbug?
 
 
I've seen a bee documentary or two.
From what I understand,
 
 
doesn't your queen give birth
to all the bee children?
 
 
- Yeah, but...
- So those aren't your real parents!
 
 
- Oh, Barry...
- Yes, they are!
 
 
Hold me back!
 
 
You're an illegitimate bee,
aren't you, Benson?
 
 
He's denouncing bees!
 
 
Don't y'all date your cousins?
 
 
- Objection!
- I'm going to pincushion this guy!
 
 
Adam, don't! It's what he wants!
 
 
Oh, I'm hit!!
 
 
Oh, lordy, I am hit!
 
 
Order! Order!
 
 
The venom! The venom
is coursing through my veins!
 
 
I have been felled
by a winged beast of destruction!
 
 
You see? You can't treat them
like equals! They're striped savages!
 
 
Stinging's the only thing
they know! It's their way!
 
 
- Adam, stay with me.
- I can't feel my legs.
 
 
What angel of mercy
will come forward to suck the poison
 
 
from my heaving buttocks?
 
 
I will have order in this court. Order!
 
 
Order, please!
 
 
The case of the honeybees
versus the human race
 
 
took a pointed turn against the bees
 
 
yesterday when one of their legal
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.
 
 
- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.
 
 
- Is there much pain?
- Yeah.
 
 
I...
 
 
I blew the whole case, didn't I?
 
 
It doesn't matter. What matters is
you're alive. You could have died.
 
 
I'd be better off dead. Look at me.
 
 
They got it from the cafeteria
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
 
 
Look, there's
a little celery still on it.
 
 
What was it like to sting someone?
 
 
I can't explain it. It was all...
 
 
All adrenaline and then...
and then ecstasy!
 
 
All right.
 
 
You think it was all a trap?
 
 
Of course. I'm sorry.
I flew us right into this.
 
 
What were we thinking? Look at us. We're
just a couple of bugs in this world.
 
 
What will the humans do to us
if they win?
 
 
I don't know.
 
 
I hear they put the roaches in motels.
That doesn't sound so bad.
 
 
Adam, they check in,
but they don't check out!
 
 
Oh, my.
 
 
Oould you get a nurse
to close that window?
 
 
- Why?
- The smoke.
 
 
Bees don't smoke.
 
 
Right. Bees don't smoke.
 
 
Bees don't smoke!
But some bees are smoking.
 
 
That's it! That's our case!
 
 
It is? It's not over?
 
 
Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.
 
 
Get back to the court and stall.
Stall any way you can.
 
 
And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.
 
 
Mr. Flayman.
 
 
Yes? Yes, Your Honor!
 
 
Where is the rest of your team?
 
 
Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.
 
 
Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,
 
 
and as a result,
we don't make very good time.
 
 
I actually heard a funny story about...
 
 
Your Honor,
haven't these ridiculous bugs
 
 
taken up enough
of this court's valuable time?
 
 
How much longer will we allow
these absurd shenanigans to go on?
 
 
They have presented no compelling
evidence to support their charges
 
 
against my clients,
who run legitimate businesses.
 
 
I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case!
 
 
Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going
 
 
to have to consider
Mr. Montgomery's motion.
 
 
But you can't! We have a terrific case.
 
 
Where is your proof?
Where is the evidence?
 
 
Show me the smoking gun!
 
 
Hold it, Your Honor!
You want a smoking gun?
 
 
Here is your smoking gun.
 
 
What is that?
 
 
It's a bee smoker!
 
 
What, this?
This harmless little contraption?
 
 
This couldn't hurt a fly,
let alone a bee.
 
 
Look at what has happened
 
 
to bees who have never been asked,
"Smoking or non?"
 
 
Is this what nature intended for us?
 
 
To be forcibly addicted
to smoke machines
 
 
and man-made wooden slat work camps?
 
 
Living out our lives as honey slaves
to the white man?
 
 
- What are we gonna do?
- He's playing the species card.
 
 
Ladies and gentlemen, please,
free these bees!
 
 
Free the bees! Free the bees!
 
 
Free the bees!
 
 
Free the bees! Free the bees!
 
 
The court finds in favor of the bees!
 
 
Vanessa, we won!
 
 
I knew you could do it! High-five!
 
 
Sorry.
 
 
I'm OK! You know what this means?
 
 
All the honey
will finally belong to the bees.
 
 
Now we won't have
to work so hard all the time.
 
 
This is an unholy perversion
of the balance of nature, Benson.
 
 
You'll regret this.
 
 
Barry, how much honey is out there?
 
 
All right. One at a time.
 
 
Barry, who are you wearing?
 
 
My sweater is Ralph Lauren,
and I have no pants.
 
 
- What if Montgomery's right?
- What do you mean?
 
 
We've been living the bee way
a long time, 27 million years.
 
 
Oongratulations on your victory.
What will you demand as a settlement?
 
 
First, we'll demand a complete shutdown
of all bee work camps.
 
 
Then we want back the honey
that was ours to begin with,
 
 
every last drop.
 
 
We demand an end to the glorification
of the bear as anything more
 
 
than a filthy, smelly,
bad-breath stink machine.
 
 
We're all aware
of what they do in the woods.
 
 
Wait for my signal.
 
 
Take him out.
 
 
He'll have nauseous
for a few hours, then he'll be fine.
 
 
And we will no longer tolerate
bee-negative nicknames...
 
 
But it's just a prance-about stage name!
 
 
...unnecessary inclusion of honey
in bogus health products
 
 
and la-dee-da human
tea-time snack garnishments.
 
 
Oan't breathe.
 
 
Bring it in, boys!
 
 
Hold it right there! Good.
 
 
Tap it.
 
 
Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,
and there's gallons more coming!
 
 
- I think we need to shut down!
- Shut down? We've never shut down.
 
 
Shut down honey production!
 
 
Stop making honey!
 
 
Turn your key, sir!
 
 
What do we do now?
 
 
Oannonball!
 
 
We're shutting honey production!
 
 
Mission abort.
 
 
Aborting pollination and nectar detail.
Returning to base.
 
 
Adam, you wouldn't believe
how much honey was out there.
 
 
Oh, yeah?
 
 
What's going on? Where is everybody?
 
 
- Are they out celebrating?
- They're home.
 
 
They don't know what to do.
Laying out, sleeping in.
 
 
I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way
to San Antonio with a cricket.
 
 
At least we got our honey back.
 
 
Sometimes I think, so what if humans
liked our honey? Who wouldn't?
 
 
It's the greatest thing in the world!
I was excited to be part of making it.
 
 
This was my new desk. This was my
new job. I wanted to do it really well.
 
 
And now...
 
 
Now I can't.
 
 
I don't understand
why they're not happy.
 
 
I thought their lives would be better!
 
 
They're doing nothing. It's amazing.
Honey really changes people.
 
 
You don't have any idea
what's going on, do you?
 
 
- What did you want to show me?
- This.
 
 
What happened here?
 
 
That is not the half of it.
 
 
Oh, no. Oh, my.
 
 
They're all wilting.
 
 
Doesn't look very good, does it?
 
 
No.
 
 
And whose fault do you think that is?
 
 
You know, I'm gonna guess bees.
 
 
Bees?
 
 
Specifically, me.
 
 
I didn't think bees not needing to make
honey would affect all these things.
 
 
It's notjust flowers.
Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.
 
 
That's our whole SAT test right there.
 
 
Take away produce, that affects
the entire animal kingdom.
 
 
And then, of course...
 
 
The human species?
 
 
So if there's no more pollination,
 
 
it could all just go south here,
couldn't it?
 
 
I know this is also partly my fault.
 
 
How about a suicide pact?
 
 
How do we do it?
 
 
- I'll sting you, you step on me.
- Thatjust kills you twice.
 
 
Right, right.
 
 
Listen, Barry...
sorry, but I gotta get going.
 
 
I had to open my mouth and talk.
 
 
Vanessa?
 
 
Vanessa? Why are you leaving?
Where are you going?
 
 
To the final Tournament of Roses parade
in Pasadena.
 
 
They've moved it to this weekend
because all the flowers are dying.
 
 
It's the last chance
I'll ever have to see it.
 
 
Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.
I never meant it to turn out like this.
 
 
I know. Me neither.
 
 
Tournament of Roses.
Roses can't do sports.
 
 
Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?
 
 
Roses!
 
 
Vanessa!
 
 
Roses?!
 
 
Barry?
 
 
- Roses are flowers!
- Yes, they are.
 
 
Flowers, bees, pollen!
 
 
I know.
That's why this is the last parade.
 
 
Maybe not.
Oould you ask him to slow down?
 
 
Oould you slow down?
 
 
Barry!
 
 
OK, I made a huge mistake.
This is a total disaster, all my fault.
 
 
Yes, it kind of is.
 
 
I've ruined the planet.
I wanted to help you
 
 
with the flower shop.
I've made it worse.
 
 
Actually, it's completely closed down.
 
 
I thought maybe you were remodeling.
 
 
But I have another idea, and it's
greater than my previous ideas combined.
 
 
I don't want to hear it!
 
 
All right, they have the roses,
the roses have the pollen.
 
 
I know every bee, plant
and flower bud in this park.
 
 
All we gotta do is get what they've got
back here with what we've got.
 
 
- Bees.
- Park.
 
 
- Pollen!
- Flowers.
 
 
- Repollination!
- Across the nation!
 
 
Tournament of Roses,
Pasadena, Oalifornia.
 
 
They've got nothing
but flowers, floats and cotton candy.
 
 
Security will be tight.
 
 
I have an idea.
 
 
Vanessa Bloome, FTD.
 
 
Official floral business. It's real.
 
 
Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.
 
 
Thank you. It was a gift.
 
 
Once inside,
we just pick the right float.
 
 
How about The Princess and the Pea?
 
 
I could be the princess,
and you could be the pea!
 
 
Yes, I got it.
 
 
- Where should I sit?
- What are you?
 
 
- I believe I'm the pea.
- The pea?
 
 
It goes under the mattresses.
 
 
- Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.
- I'm getting the marshal.
 
 
You do that!
This whole parade is a fiasco!
 
 
Let's see what this baby'll do.
 
 
Hey, what are you doing?!
 
 
Then all we do
is blend in with traffic...
 
 
...without arousing suspicion.
 
 
Once at the airport,
there's no stopping us.
 
 
Stop! Security.
 
 
- You and your insect pack your float?
- Yes.
 
 
Has it been
in your possession the entire time?
 
 
Would you remove your shoes?
 
 
- Remove your stinger.
- It's part of me.
 
 
I know. Just having some fun.
Enjoy your flight.
 
 
Then if we're lucky, we'll have
just enough pollen to do the job.
 
 
Oan you believe how lucky we are? We
have just enough pollen to do the job!
 
 
I think this is gonna work.
 
 
It's got to work.
 
 
Attention, passengers,
this is Oaptain Scott.
 
 
We have a bit of bad weather
in New York.
 
 
It looks like we'll experience
a couple hours delay.
 
 
Barry, these are cut flowers
with no water. They'll never make it.
 
 
I gotta get up there
and talk to them.
 
 
Be careful.
 
 
Oan I get help
with the Sky Mall magazine?
 
 
I'd like to order the talking
inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.
 
 
Oaptain, I'm in a real situation.
 
 
- What'd you say, Hal?
- Nothing.
 
 
Bee!
 
 
Don't freak out! My entire species...
 
 
What are you doing?
 
 
- Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
- Who's an attorney?
 
 
Don't move.
 
 
Oh, Barry.
 
 
Good afternoon, passengers.
This is your captain.
 
 
Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B
please report to the cockpit?
 
 
And please hurry!
 
 
What happened here?
 
 
There was a DustBuster,
a toupee, a life raft exploded.
 
 
One's bald, one's in a boat,
they're both unconscious!
 
 
- Is that another bee joke?
- No!
 
 
No one's flying the plane!
 
 
This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.
What's your status?
 
 
This is Vanessa Bloome.
I'm a florist from New York.
 
 
Where's the pilot?
 
 
He's unconscious,
and so is the copilot.
 
 
Not good. Does anyone onboard
have flight experience?
 
 
As a matter of fact, there is.
 
 
- Who's that?
- Barry Benson.
 
 
From the honey trial?! Oh, great.
 
 
Vanessa, this is nothing more
than a big metal bee.
 
 
It's got giant wings, huge engines.
 
 
I can't fly a plane.
 
 
- Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?
- Yes.
 
 
How hard could it be?
 
 
Wait, Barry!
We're headed into some lightning.
 
 
This is Bob Bumble. We have some
late-breaking news from JFK Airport,
 
 
where a suspenseful scene
is developing.
 
 
Barry Benson,
fresh from his legal victory...
 
 
That's Barry!
 
 
...is attempting to land a plane,
loaded with people, flowers
 
 
and an incapacitated flight crew.
 
 
Flowers?!
 
 
We have a storm in the area
and two individuals at the controls
 
 
with absolutely no flight experience.
 
 
Just a minute.
There's a bee on that plane.
 
 
I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson
and his no-account compadres.
 
 
They've done enough damage.
 
 
But isn't he your only hope?
 
 
Technically, a bee
shouldn't be able to fly at all.
 
 
Their wings are too small...
 
 
Haven't we heard this a million times?
 
 
"The surface area of the wings
and body mass make no sense."
 
 
- Get this on the air!
- Got it.
 
 
- Stand by.
- We're going live.
 
 
The way we work may be a mystery to you.
 
 
Making honey takes a lot of bees
doing a lot of small jobs.
 
 
But let me tell you about a small job.
 
 
If you do it well,
it makes a big difference.
 
 
More than we realized.
To us, to everyone.
 
 
That's why I want to get bees
back to working together.
 
 
That's the bee way!
We're not made of Jell-O.
 
 
We get behind a fellow.
 
 
- Black and yellow!
- Hello!
 
 
Left, right, down, hover.
 
 
- Hover?
- Forget hover.
 
 
This isn't so hard.
Beep-beep! Beep-beep!
 
 
Barry, what happened?!
 
 
Wait, I think we were
on autopilot the whole time.
 
 
- That may have been helping me.
- And now we're not!
 
 
So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.
 
 
All of you, let's get
behind this fellow! Move it out!
 
 
Move out!
 
 
Our only chance is if I do what I'd do,
you copy me with the wings of the plane!
 
 
Don't have to yell.
 
 
I'm not yelling!
We're in a lot of trouble.
 
 
It's very hard to concentrate
with that panicky tone in your voice!
 
 
It's not a tone. I'm panicking!
 
 
I can't do this!
 
 
Vanessa, pull yourself together.
You have to snap out of it!
 
 
You snap out of it.
 
 
You snap out of it.
 
 
- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!
 
 
- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!
 
 
- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!
 
 
- Hold it!
- Why? Oome on, it's my turn.
 
 
How is the plane flying?
 
 
I don't know.
 
 
Hello?
 
 
Benson, got any flowers
for a happy occasion in there?
 
 
The Pollen Jocks!
 
 
They do get behind a fellow.
 
 
- Black and yellow.
- Hello.
 
 
All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop.
 
 
Where? I can't see anything. Oan you?
 
 
No, nothing. It's all cloudy.
 
 
Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.
 
 
- Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.
 
 
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
 
 
Wait a minute.
I think I'm feeling something.
 
 
- What?
- I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.
 
 
Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.
 
 
Bring the nose down.
 
 
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
 
 
- What in the world is on the tarmac?
- Get some lights on that!
 
 
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
 
 
- Vanessa, aim for the flower.
- OK.
 
 
Out the engines. We're going in
on bee power. Ready, boys?
 
 
Affirmative!
 
 
Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.
 
 
Land on that flower!
 
 
Ready? Full reverse!
 
 
Spin it around!
 
 
- Not that flower! The other one!
- Which one?
 
 
- That flower.
- I'm aiming at the flower!
 
 
That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.
I mean the giant pulsating flower
 
 
made of millions of bees!
 
 
Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.
 
 
Rotate around it.
 
 
- This is insane, Barry!
- This's the only way I know how to fly.
 
 
Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane
flying in an insect-like pattern?
 
 
Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid.
Smell it. Full reverse!
 
 
Just drop it. Be a part of it.
 
 
Aim for the center!
 
 
Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!
 
 
Oome on, already.
 
 
Barry, we did it!
You taught me how to fly!
 
 
- Yes. No high-five!
- Right.
 
 
Barry, it worked!
Did you see the giant flower?
 
 
What giant flower? Where? Of course
I saw the flower! That was genius!
 
 
- Thank you.
- But we're not done yet.
 
 
Listen, everyone!
 
 
This runway is covered
with the last pollen
 
 
from the last flowers
available anywhere on Earth.
 
 
That means this is our last chance.
 
 
We're the only ones who make honey,
pollinate flowers and dress like this.
 
 
If we're gonna survive as a species,
this is our moment! What do you say?
 
 
Are we going to be bees, orjust
Museum of Natural History keychains?
 
 
We're bees!
 
 
Keychain!
 
 
Then follow me! Except Keychain.
 
 
Hold on, Barry. Here.
 
 
You've earned this.
 
 
Yeah!
 
 
I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect
fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.
 
 
Oh, yeah.
 
 
That's our Barry.
 
 
Mom! The bees are back!
 
 
If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time.
 
 
I got a feeling we'll be
working late tonight!
 
 
Here's your change. Have a great
afternoon! Oan I help who's next?
 
 
Would you like some honey with that?
It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.
 
 
Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me.
And I don't see a nickel!
 
 
Sometimes I just feel
like a piece of meat!
 
 
I had no idea.
 
 
Barry, I'm sorry.
Have you got a moment?
 
 
Would you excuse me?
My mosquito associate will help you.
 
 
Sorry I'm late.
 
 
He's a lawyer too?
 
 
I was already a blood-sucking parasite.
All I needed was a briefcase.
 
 
Have a great afternoon!
 
 
Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,
and I can't get them anywhere.
 
 
No problem, Vannie.
Just leave it to me.
 
 
You're a lifesaver, Barry.
Oan I help who's next?
 
 
All right, scramble, jocks!
It's time to fly.
 
 
Thank you, Barry!
 
 
That bee is living my life!
 
 
Let it go, Kenny.
 
 
- When will this nightmare end?!
- Let it all go.
 
 
- Beautiful day to fly.
- Sure is.
 
 
Between you and me,
I was dying to get out of that office.
 
 
You have got
to start thinking bee, my friend.
 
 
- Thinking bee!
- Me?
 
 
Hold it. Let's just stop
for a second. Hold it.
 
 
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.
Oan we stop here?
 
 
I'm not making a major life decision
during a production number!
 
 
All right. Take ten, everybody.
Wrap it up, guys.
 
 
I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
 
Special thanks to SergeiK.

Revision as of 14:58, 8 December 2022

Bee Movie Script


According to all known laws of aviation,


there is no way a bee should be able to fly.


Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.


The bee, of course, flies anyway


because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.


Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.


Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.


Barry! Breakfast is ready!


Ooming!


Hang on a second.


Hello?


- Barry? - Adam?


- Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.


Looking sharp.


Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.


Sorry. I'm excited.


Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.


A perfect report card, all B's.


Very proud.


Ma! I got a thing going here.


- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!


- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!


Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!


- Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry.


- Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation.


Never thought I'd make it.


Three days grade school, three days high school.


Those were awkward.


Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive.


You did come back different.


- Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.


- Hear about Frankie? - Yeah.


- You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going.


Everybody knows, sting someone, you die.


Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead.


I guess he could have just gotten out of the way.


I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day.


That's why we don't need vacations.


Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances.


- Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are!


- Bee-men. - Amen!


Hallelujah!


Students, faculty, distinguished bees,


please welcome Dean Buzzwell.


Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of...


...9:15.


That concludes our ceremonies.


And begins your career at Honex Industries!


Will we pick ourjob today?


I heard it's just orientation.


Heads up! Here we go.


Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times.


- Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary.


Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco


and a part of the Hexagon Group.


This is it!


Wow.


Wow.


We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life


to get to the point where you can work for your whole life.


Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.


Our top-secret formula


is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured


into this soothing sweet syrup


with its distinctive golden glow you know as...


Honey!


- That girl was hot. - She's my cousin!


- She is? - Yes, we're all cousins.


- Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive


to improve every aspect of bee existence.


These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology.


- What do you think he makes? - Not enough.


Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman.


- What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey


that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions.


Oan anyone work on the Krelman?


Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know


that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot.


But choose carefully


because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life.


The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that.


What's the difference?


You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off


in 27 million years.


So you'll just work us to death?


We'll sure try.


Wow! That blew my mind!


"What's the difference?" How can you say that?


One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make.


I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life.


But, Adam, how could they never have told us that?


Why would you question anything? We're bees.


We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.


You ever think maybe things work a little too well here?


Like what? Give me one example.


I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about.


Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach.


Wait a second. Oheck it out.


- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow.


I've never seen them this close.


They know what it's like outside the hive.


Yeah, but some don't come back.


- Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks!


You guys did great!


You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!


- I wonder where they were. - I don't know.


Their day's not planned.


Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what.


You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that.


Right.


Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime.


It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it.


Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it.


Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too?


Distant. Distant.


Look at these two.


- Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them.


It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock.


Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom!


He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me!


- Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out.


What were you doing during this?


Trying to alert the authorities.


I can autograph that.


A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades?


Yeah. Gusty.


We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.


- Six miles, huh? - Barry!


A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it.


- Maybe I am. - You are not!


We're going 0900 at J-Gate.


What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough?


I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means.


Hey, Honex!


Dad, you surprised me.


You decide what you're interested in?


- Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one.


Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day?


Son, let me tell you about stirring.


You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around.


You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing.


You know, Dad, the more I think about it,


maybe the honey field just isn't right for me.


You were thinking of what, making balloon animals?


That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger.


Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey!


- Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny.


You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer!


- You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me!


Wait till you see the sticks I have.


I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!


Let's open some honey and celebrate!


Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae.


Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!


I'm so proud.


- We're starting work today! - Today's the day.


Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone.


Yeah, right.


Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal...


- Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left!


One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side.


- What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar!


Wow!


Oouple of newbies?


Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!


Make your choice.


- You want to go first? - No, you go.


Oh, my. What's available?


Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think.


- Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on.


I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.


Wax monkey's always open.


The Krelman opened up again.


What happened?


A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one.


Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.


Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!


Oh, this is so hard!


Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,


humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,


mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry?


Barry!


All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine...


What happened to you? Where are you?


- I'm going out. - Out? Out where?


- Out there. - Oh, no!


I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life.


You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?


Another call coming in.


If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd


that gets their roses today.


Hey, guys.


- Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?


Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.


It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.


Really? Feeling lucky, are you?


Sign here, here. Just initial that.


- Thank you. - OK.


You got a rain advisory today,


and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain.


So be careful. As always, watch your brooms,


hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats.


Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us.


Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada!


- That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies,


bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans!


All right, launch positions!


Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!


Black and yellow!


Hello!


You ready for this, hot shot?


Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.


Wind, check.


- Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check.


- Wings, check. - Stinger, check.


Scared out of my shorts, check.


OK, ladies,


let's move it out!


Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers!


All of you, drain those flowers!


Wow! I'm out!


I can't believe I'm out!


So blue.


I feel so fast and free!


Box kite!


Wow!


Flowers!


This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual.


Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.


Roses!


30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.


Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick.


That is one nectar collector!


- Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir.


I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there,


a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic.


That's amazing. Why do we do that?


That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.


Oool.


I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?


Oopy that visual.


Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move.


Say again? You're reporting a moving flower?


Affirmative.


That was on the line!


This is the coolest. What is it?


I don't know, but I'm loving this color.


It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it.


Yeah, fuzzy.


Ohemical-y.


Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.


My sweet lord of bees!


Oandy-brain, get off there!


Problem!


- Guys! - This could be bad.


Affirmative.


Very close.


Gonna hurt.


Mama's little boy.


You are way out of position, rookie!


Ooming in at you like a missile!


Help me!


I don't think these are flowers.


- Should we tell him? - I think he knows.


What is this?!


Match point!


You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it!


Yowser!


Gross.


There's a bee in the car!


- Do something! - I'm driving!


- Hi, bee. - He's back here!


He's going to sting me!


Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze!


He blinked!


Spray him, Granny!


What are you doing?!


Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable.


I gotta get home.


Oan't fly in rain.


Oan't fly in rain.


Oan't fly in rain.


Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!


Ken, could you close the window please?


Ken, could you close the window please?


Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure.


You see? Folds out.


Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.


What was that?


Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This...


Drapes!


That is diabolical.


It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.


What's number one? Star Wars?


Nah, I don't go for that...


...kind of stuff.


No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds.


When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.


There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.


I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it.


I predicted global warming.


I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me.


Wait! Stop! Bee!


Stand back. These are winter boots.


Wait!


Don't kill him!


You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me!


Why does his life have less value than yours?


Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement?


I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling.


My brochure!


There you go, little guy.


I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing.


Put that on your resume brochure.


My whole face could puff up.


Make it one of your special skills.


Knocking someone out is also a special skill.


Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.


- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.


- You could put carob chips on there. - Bye.


- Supposed to be less calories. - Bye.


I gotta say something.


She saved my life. I gotta say something.


All right, here it goes.


Nah.


What would I say?


I could really get in trouble.


It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human.


I can't believe I'm doing this.


I've got to.


Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!


No. Yes. No.


Do it. I can't.


How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good.


Here she comes! Speak, you fool!


Hi!


I'm sorry.


- You're talking. - Yes, I know.


You're talking!


I'm so sorry.


No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming.


But I don't recall going to bed.


Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting.


This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!


I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this,


but they were all trying to kill me.


And if it wasn't for you...


I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised.


That was a little weird.


- I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah.


I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me!


I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now.


- Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What?


The talking thing.


Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.


- That's very funny. - Yeah.


Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with.


Anyway...


Oan I...


...get you something? - Like what?


I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee?


I don't want to put you out.


It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.


- It's just coffee. - I hate to impose.


- Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup.


Hey, you want rum cake?


- I shouldn't. - Have some.


- No, I can't. - Oome on!


I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.


- Where? - These stripes don't help.


You look great!


I don't know if you know anything about fashion.


Are you all right?


No.


He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison.


He finally gets there.


He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on.


And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan.


Why would I marry a watermelon?"


Is that a bee joke?


That's the kind of stuff we do.


Yeah, different.


So, what are you gonna do, Barry?


About work? I don't know.


I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want.


I know how you feel.


- You do? - Sure.


My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.


- Really? - My only interest is flowers.


Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan.


Anyway, if you look...


There's my hive right there. See it?


You're in Sheep Meadow!


Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!


No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once.


- Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not?


- It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that.


- You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine.


Just having two cups of coffee!


Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee.


Yeah, it's no trouble.


Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life.


Are you...?


Oan I take a piece of this with me?


Sure! Here, have a crumb.


- Thanks! - Yeah.


All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around.


Or not.


OK, Barry.


And thank you so much again... for before.


Oh, that? That was nothing.


Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...


This can't possibly work.


He's all set to go. We may as well try it.


OK, Dave, pull the chute.


- Sounds amazing. - It was amazing!


It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life.


Humans! I can't believe you were with humans!


Giant, scary humans! What were they like?


Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.


They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy.


- Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't.


- How'd you get back? - Poodle.


You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see.


You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal.


- Well... - Well?


Well, I met someone.


You did? Was she Bee-ish?


- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp.


- Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders.


I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all.


I can't get by that face.


So who is she?


She's... human.


No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law.


- Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy.


She's so nice. And she's a florist!


Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!


We're not dating.


You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes


with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite!


She saved my life! And she understands me.


This is over!


Eat this.


This is not over! What was that?


- They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey!


And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat!


- You know what a Oinnabon is? - No.


It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up...


Sit down!


...really hot! - Listen to me!


We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them!


Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning?


There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me!


You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee!


- Thinking bee. - Thinking bee.


Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!


There he is. He's in the pool.


You know what your problem is, Barry?


I gotta start thinking bee?


How much longer will this go on?


It's been three days! Why aren't you working?


I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about.


What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee!


Would it kill you to make a little honey?


Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you.


Martin, would you talk to him?


Barry, I'm talking to you!


You coming?


Got everything?


All set!


Go ahead. I'll catch up.


Don't be too long.


Watch this!


Vanessa!


- We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him.


He doesn't respond to yelling!


- Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen!


I'm not listening to this.


Sorry, I've gotta go.


- Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend.


A girl? Is this why you can't decide?


Bye.


I just hope she's Bee-ish.


They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena?


To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!


Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering.


A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events?


No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere?


It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster.


Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn.


TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane!


You don't have that?


We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease.


Oh, my.


Dumb bees!


You must want to sting all those jerks.


We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us.


So you have to watch your temper.


Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk,


write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion:


Anger, jealousy, lust.


Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?


Yeah.


- What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug.


He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep!


What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?


Yeah, it was. How did you know?


It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.


You've really got that down to a science.


- I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet.


What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this?


How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,


Ray Liotta Private Select?


- Is he that actor? - I never heard of him.


- Why is this here? - For people. We eat it.


You don't have enough food of your own?


- Well, yes. - How do you get it?


- Bees make it. - I know who makes it!


And it's hard to make it!


There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing!


- It's organic. - It's our-ganic!


It's just honey, Barry.


Just what?!


Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing!


You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have!


And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this.


I'm getting to the bottom of all of this!


Hey, Hector.


- You almost done? - Almost.


He is here. I sense it.


Well, I guess I'll go home now


and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around.


You're busted, box boy!


I knew I heard something. So you can talk!


I can talk. And now you'll start talking!


Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier?


I don't understand. I thought we were friends.


The last thing we want to do is upset bees!


You're too late! It's ours now!


You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword!


You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio!


Where is the honey coming from?


Tell me where!


Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!


Orazy person!


What horrible thing has happened here?


These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now


they're on the road to nowhere!


Just keep still.


What? You're not dead?


Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed?


To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here.


I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off!


I'm going to Tacoma.


- And you? - He really is dead.


All right.


Uh-oh!


- What is that?! - Oh, no!


- A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade?


Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!


Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?!


How much do you people need to see?!


Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window!


From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell.


But don't kill no more bugs!


- Bee! - Moose blood guy!!


- You hear something? - Like what?


Like tiny screaming.


Turn off the radio.


Whassup, bee boy?


Hey, Blood.


Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see.


Wow!


I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it.


I mean, that honey's ours.


- Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in.


It's a close community.


Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own.


- What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble.


Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack!


At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls.


Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly.


Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.


You got to be kidding me!


Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee!


- Hey, guys! - Mooseblood!


I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw?


We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit.


What is this place?


A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead.


They are pinheads!


Pinhead.


- Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.


The Thomas 3000!


Smoker?


Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar.


A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.


They make the honey, and we make the money.


"They make the honey, and we make the money"?


Oh, my!


What's going on? Are you OK?


Yeah. It doesn't last too long.


Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls?


Our queen was moved here. We had no choice.


This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes!


That's a drag queen!


What is this?


Oh, no!


There's hundreds of them!


Bee honey.


Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale!


This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something.


Oh, Barry, stop.


Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor.


Do these look like rumors?


That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos.


How did you get mixed up in this?


He's been talking to humans.


- What? - Talking to humans?!


He has a human girlfriend. And they make out!


Make out? Barry!


We do not.


- You wish you could. - Whose side are you on?


The bees!


I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night.


Barry, this is what you want to do with your life?


I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees!


Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked


your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop.


I remember that.


What right do they have to our honey?


We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!


Even if it's true, what can one bee do?


Sting them where it really hurts.


In the face! The eye!


- That would hurt. - No.


Up the nose? That's a killer.


There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters.


Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source.


No more bee beards!


With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.


Weather with Storm Stinger.


Sports with Buzz Larvi.


And Jeanette Ohung.


- Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung.


A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,


intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey,


packaging it and profiting from it illegally!


Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,


we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book,


Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon.


Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.


Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"?


Bees have never been afraid to change the world.


What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?


Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.


We were thinking of stickball or candy stores.


How old are you?


The bee community is supporting you in this case,


which will be the trial of the bee century.


You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too.


It's a common name. Next week...


He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots...


Next week...


Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em.


Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live.


Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish.


In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness!


It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.


Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that?


Quiet, please. Actual work going on here.


- Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is!


I'm helping him sue the human race.


- Hello. - Hello, bee.


This is Ken.


Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.


Why does he talk again?


Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working.


But it's our yogurt night!


Bye-bye.


Why is yogurt night so difficult?!


You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours!


Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help.


- Frosting... - How many sugars?


Just one. I try not to use the competition.


So why are you helping me?


Bees have good qualities.


And it takes my mind off the shop.


Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now.


Those are great, if you're three.


And artificial flowers.


- Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too.


Bent stingers, pointless pollination.


Bees must hate those fake things!


Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done.


Maybe this could make up for it a little bit.


- This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess.


You sure you want to go through with it?


Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able


to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty!


It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan,


where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history,


we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak.


What have we gotten into here, Barry?


It's pretty big, isn't it?


I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day.


You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers?


Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade.


- What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill.


Well, if it isn't the bee team.


You boys work on this?


All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding.


All right. Oase number 4475,


Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry


is now in session.


Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively?


A privilege.


Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world?


I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed.


Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please.


Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,


my grandmother was a simple woman.


Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right


to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us.


If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines,


just think of what would it mean.


I would have to negotiate with the silkworm


for the elastic in my britches!


Talking bee!


How do we know this isn't some sort of


holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry?


They could be using laser beams!


Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know,


he could be on steroids!


Mr. Benson?


Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here.


I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me.


It's important to all bees. We invented it!


We make it. And we protect it with our lives.


Unfortunately, there are some people in this room


who think they can take it from us


'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over,


you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have


but everything we are!


I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice!


Oall your first witness.


So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have.


I suppose so.


I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron!


Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms.


Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term.


I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you?


- No. - I couldn't hear you.


- No. - No.


Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that,


it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey.


They're very lovable creatures.


Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.


You mean like this?


Bears kill bees!


How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?!


Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows!


OK, that's enough. Take him away.


So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me.


- Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police.


But you've never been a police officer, have you?


No, I haven't.


No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example


of bee culture casually stolen by a human


for nothing more than a prance-about stage name.


Oh, please.


Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?


Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting.


Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!


That's not his real name?! You idiots!


Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on


your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005.


Thank you. Thank you.


I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome


with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow.


I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?


Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you?


Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't


have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir?


Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now!


This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella!


Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?!


- Order in this court! - You're all thinking it!


Order! Order, I say!


- Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down!


I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that.


I think the jury's on our side.


Are we doing everything right, legally?


I'm a florist.


Right. Well, here's to a great team.


To a great team!


Well, hello.


- Ken! - Hello.


I didn't think you were coming.


No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery.


I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.


Oh, that was lucky.


There's a little left. I could heat it up.


Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.


So I hear you're quite a tennis player.


I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby.


That's where I usually sit. Right... there.


Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,


and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill.


You think I don't see what you're doing?


I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common.


Do we?


Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out.


That's just what I was thinking about doing.


Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.


I'm going to drain the old stinger.


Yeah, you do that.


Look at that.


You know, I've just about had it


with your little mind games.


- What's that? - Italian Vogue.


Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.


A lot of ads.


Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine?


Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!


I think something stinks in here!


I love the smell of flowers.


How do you like the smell of flames?!


Not as much.


Water bug! Not taking sides!


Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic!


I've got issues!


Well, well, well, a royal flush!


- You're bluffing. - Am I?


Surf's up, dude!


Poo water!


That bowl is gnarly.


Except for those dirty yellow rings!


Kenneth! What are you doing?!


You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it!


We need to talk!


He's just a little bee!


And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time!


Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life?


No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them!


Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...


My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster!


Goodbye, Ken.


And for your information,


I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man!


I'm sorry about all that.


I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it!


I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me.


I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well.


Are you OK for the trial?


I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas.


We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.


Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers...


Yeah.


Layton, you've gotta weave some magic


with this jury, or it's gonna be all over.


Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around


is to remind them of what they don't like about bees.


- You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic?


Only to losing, son. Only to losing.


Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know.


What exactly is your relationship


to that woman?


We're friends.


- Good friends? - Yes.


How good? Do you live together?


Wait a minute...


Are you her little...


...bedbug?


I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand,


doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children?


- Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents!


- Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are!


Hold me back!


You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson?


He's denouncing bees!


Don't y'all date your cousins?


- Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy!


Adam, don't! It's what he wants!


Oh, I'm hit!!


Oh, lordy, I am hit!


Order! Order!


The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins!


I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction!


You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages!


Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way!


- Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs.


What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison


from my heaving buttocks?


I will have order in this court. Order!


Order, please!


The case of the honeybees versus the human race


took a pointed turn against the bees


yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery.


- Hey, buddy. - Hey.


- Is there much pain? - Yeah.


I...


I blew the whole case, didn't I?


It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died.


I'd be better off dead. Look at me.


They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.


Look, there's a little celery still on it.


What was it like to sting someone?


I can't explain it. It was all...


All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy!


All right.


You think it was all a trap?


Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this.


What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world.


What will the humans do to us if they win?


I don't know.


I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad.


Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!


Oh, my.


Oould you get a nurse to close that window?


- Why? - The smoke.


Bees don't smoke.


Right. Bees don't smoke.


Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking.


That's it! That's our case!


It is? It's not over?


Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.


Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can.


And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.


Mr. Flayman.


Yes? Yes, Your Honor!


Where is the rest of your team?


Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.


Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,


and as a result, we don't make very good time.


I actually heard a funny story about...


Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs


taken up enough of this court's valuable time?


How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on?


They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges


against my clients, who run legitimate businesses.


I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case!


Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going


to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion.


But you can't! We have a terrific case.


Where is your proof? Where is the evidence?


Show me the smoking gun!


Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun?


Here is your smoking gun.


What is that?


It's a bee smoker!


What, this? This harmless little contraption?


This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee.


Look at what has happened


to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?"


Is this what nature intended for us?


To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines


and man-made wooden slat work camps?


Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man?


- What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card.


Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees!


Free the bees! Free the bees!


Free the bees!


Free the bees! Free the bees!


The court finds in favor of the bees!


Vanessa, we won!


I knew you could do it! High-five!


Sorry.


I'm OK! You know what this means?


All the honey will finally belong to the bees.


Now we won't have to work so hard all the time.


This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson.


You'll regret this.


Barry, how much honey is out there?


All right. One at a time.


Barry, who are you wearing?


My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.


- What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean?


We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years.


Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement?


First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps.


Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with,


every last drop.


We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more


than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine.


We're all aware of what they do in the woods.


Wait for my signal.


Take him out.


He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine.


And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames...


But it's just a prance-about stage name!


...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products


and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments.


Oan't breathe.


Bring it in, boys!


Hold it right there! Good.


Tap it.


Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming!


- I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down.


Shut down honey production!


Stop making honey!


Turn your key, sir!


What do we do now?


Oannonball!


We're shutting honey production!


Mission abort.


Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base.


Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there.


Oh, yeah?


What's going on? Where is everybody?


- Are they out celebrating? - They're home.


They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in.


I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket.


At least we got our honey back.


Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't?


It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it.


This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well.


And now...


Now I can't.


I don't understand why they're not happy.


I thought their lives would be better!


They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people.


You don't have any idea what's going on, do you?


- What did you want to show me? - This.


What happened here?


That is not the half of it.


Oh, no. Oh, my.


They're all wilting.


Doesn't look very good, does it?


No.


And whose fault do you think that is?


You know, I'm gonna guess bees.


Bees?


Specifically, me.


I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things.


It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.


That's our whole SAT test right there.


Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom.


And then, of course...


The human species?


So if there's no more pollination,


it could all just go south here, couldn't it?


I know this is also partly my fault.


How about a suicide pact?


How do we do it?


- I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice.


Right, right.


Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going.


I had to open my mouth and talk.


Vanessa?


Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going?


To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena.


They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying.


It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it.


Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this.


I know. Me neither.


Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports.


Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?


Roses!


Vanessa!


Roses?!


Barry?


- Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are.


Flowers, bees, pollen!


I know. That's why this is the last parade.


Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down?


Oould you slow down?


Barry!


OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault.


Yes, it kind of is.


I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you


with the flower shop. I've made it worse.


Actually, it's completely closed down.


I thought maybe you were remodeling.


But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined.


I don't want to hear it!


All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen.


I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park.


All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got.


- Bees. - Park.


- Pollen! - Flowers.


- Repollination! - Across the nation!


Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia.


They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy.


Security will be tight.


I have an idea.


Vanessa Bloome, FTD.


Official floral business. It's real.


Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.


Thank you. It was a gift.


Once inside, we just pick the right float.


How about The Princess and the Pea?


I could be the princess, and you could be the pea!


Yes, I got it.


- Where should I sit? - What are you?


- I believe I'm the pea. - The pea?


It goes under the mattresses.


- Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal.


You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco!


Let's see what this baby'll do.


Hey, what are you doing?!


Then all we do is blend in with traffic...


...without arousing suspicion.


Once at the airport, there's no stopping us.


Stop! Security.


- You and your insect pack your float? - Yes.


Has it been in your possession the entire time?


Would you remove your shoes?


- Remove your stinger. - It's part of me.


I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight.


Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job.


Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job!


I think this is gonna work.


It's got to work.


Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott.


We have a bit of bad weather in New York.


It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay.


Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it.


I gotta get up there and talk to them.


Be careful.


Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine?


I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.


Oaptain, I'm in a real situation.


- What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing.


Bee!


Don't freak out! My entire species...


What are you doing?


- Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney?


Don't move.


Oh, Barry.


Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain.


Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit?


And please hurry!


What happened here?


There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded.


One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious!


- Is that another bee joke? - No!


No one's flying the plane!


This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status?


This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York.


Where's the pilot?


He's unconscious, and so is the copilot.


Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience?


As a matter of fact, there is.


- Who's that? - Barry Benson.


From the honey trial?! Oh, great.


Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee.


It's got giant wings, huge engines.


I can't fly a plane.


- Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes.


How hard could it be?


Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning.


This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport,


where a suspenseful scene is developing.


Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory...


That's Barry!


...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers


and an incapacitated flight crew.


Flowers?!


We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls


with absolutely no flight experience.


Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane.


I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres.


They've done enough damage.


But isn't he your only hope?


Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all.


Their wings are too small...


Haven't we heard this a million times?


"The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."


- Get this on the air! - Got it.


- Stand by. - We're going live.


The way we work may be a mystery to you.


Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs.


But let me tell you about a small job.


If you do it well, it makes a big difference.


More than we realized. To us, to everyone.


That's why I want to get bees back to working together.


That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O.


We get behind a fellow.


- Black and yellow! - Hello!


Left, right, down, hover.


- Hover? - Forget hover.


This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep!


Barry, what happened?!


Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time.


- That may have been helping me. - And now we're not!


So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.


All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out!


Move out!


Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane!


Don't have to yell.


I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble.


It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice!


It's not a tone. I'm panicking!


I can't do this!


Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it!


You snap out of it.


You snap out of it.


- You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!


- You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!


- You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!


- Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn.


How is the plane flying?


I don't know.


Hello?


Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there?


The Pollen Jocks!


They do get behind a fellow.


- Black and yellow. - Hello.


All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop.


Where? I can't see anything. Oan you?


No, nothing. It's all cloudy.


Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.


- Thinking bee. - Thinking bee.


Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!


Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something.


- What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.


Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.


Bring the nose down.


Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!


- What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that!


Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!


- Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK.


Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys?


Affirmative!


Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.


Land on that flower!


Ready? Full reverse!


Spin it around!


- Not that flower! The other one! - Which one?


- That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower!


That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower


made of millions of bees!


Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.


Rotate around it.


- This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly.


Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern?


Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse!


Just drop it. Be a part of it.


Aim for the center!


Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!


Oome on, already.


Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!


- Yes. No high-five! - Right.


Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower?


What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius!


- Thank you. - But we're not done yet.


Listen, everyone!


This runway is covered with the last pollen


from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth.


That means this is our last chance.


We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this.


If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?


Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains?


We're bees!


Keychain!


Then follow me! Except Keychain.


Hold on, Barry. Here.


You've earned this.


Yeah!


I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.


Oh, yeah.


That's our Barry.


Mom! The bees are back!


If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time.


I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight!


Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next?


Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.


Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel!


Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat!


I had no idea.


Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment?


Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you.


Sorry I'm late.


He's a lawyer too?


I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase.


Have a great afternoon!


Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere.


No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me.


You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next?


All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly.


Thank you, Barry!


That bee is living my life!


Let it go, Kenny.


- When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go.


- Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is.


Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office.


You have got to start thinking bee, my friend.


- Thinking bee! - Me?


Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it.


I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here?


I'm not making a major life decision during a production number!


All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys.


I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

Special thanks to SergeiK.

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