Soypocalypse

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The Soypocalypse

Doll's message that appears when you go to Soyjaks.party

"A few people laughed, a few people cried, most people were silent. I remembered the line from the Soyble scripture, the Bhagavad-Lita. Admin 6 is trying to persuade the Troon that xe should do xer duty and to impress xer takes on his multi-armed form and says, 'now I am become Coal, destroyer of gems.' I suppose we all thought that one way or another."
-Cobson, shortly after the sharty's closure

The Soypocalypse, or Soymaggedon is a ongoing event that started on 14 of August. It begun after soyjak.party and jakparty.soy closed their doors to normal posters.

How it happened

• Red, a Kuz-era mod, former manager of the Party, and commiepedotroon, goes rogue and releases a "leak" which included IPs from the Party and staff, blanket rangebanning the entire Party and vandalizing the Soyjak wiki, all to advertise a 'cord where xe released said leaks;
• Xe was immediately fired from the Party staff and then from the Wiki, following an incredibly long and Looney Tunes-esque banfight between xem and another 'ki moderator.
• Doll posts that the Party is for sale, and it is unknown if a new buyer will be considered or if Mr. E will still go through with it.
• The Party is brought offline, likely a prevention tactic before cordniggers could DDOS it or spam it with CSAM. Discuss current happenings at: Sharty is down.
• The booru goes down.
• "Due to the massive influx of users and the lack of moderation manpower" (mass 'p spam), jakparty.soy is brought offline
• Now without a home, soyteens fragment onto niche splinter sites hosted by various namecucks (like soyjak.fun)
  • or teens return to the 4cuck for a uprising demanding /soy/ or the reopening of /qa/ through the flooding of all boards
• Max offers to buy the sharty for a lower price, with shitty ideas that will ruin the sharty even if he bought it, Doll declined
• When the nu-sharty opens some ‘teens go there too
• Soyjaks.party shows a message by Doll, announcing that he will not continue keeping the site online.
• The jarty announces they will return on August 16th, with increased measures against 'p spam.

Soundtrack

• Badfinger - Baby Blue
• Falconer - We Sold Our Homesteads
• Candlemass - Solitude
• The Doors - The End
• Roy Orbison - It's Over
• DJ Shadow - You Can't Go Home Again
• Shiro Sagisu / Arianne - Komm, Susser Tod
• David Thoughie - Gem Cobbity
• Black - Wonderful Life
• Warren Zevon - Keep Me In Your Heart For A While
• Vera Lynn - We'll Meet Again
• The Band - The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down
• Johnny Cash - For The Good Times
• Songs: Ohia - Farewell Transmission
• КИНО - Звезда по имени солнце
• Ween - I'll Miss You
• Jon Bon Jovi - Blaze of Glory
• Any song The Smiths did or whatever