Sproke: Difference between revisions

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[[File:sprokeberg.png|200px|thumb|right|Dr. Sprokeberg presenting Sprite and Coke]]
Oh, when it all (yeah)
'''Sproke''' is a delicious soft drink made simply by mixing together Sprite and Coca-Cola, and it is enjoyed by many [[Soyjak|soyjaks]] around the world. It is unknown when it was first invented, but it was popularized by [[Dr. Sprokeberg]] as a treat to calm down patients suffering from [[Schizophrenia|schizophrenic delusions]]. <s>There have been reports that Sproke could worsen hallucinations in schizophrenics due to an unexplained chemical reaction between the two drinks, but these are not backed by peer-reviewed studies, and are likely pseudoscience.</s> THE PREVIOUS TEXT IS PROPAGANDA. FORGET ABOUT IT IMMEDIATELY. YOU WILL PROCEED TO CONSUME THE SPROKE, AND YOU WILL '''NOT''' QUESTION IT.
It all falls down (this the real one, baby)
 
I'm tellin' you all (uh)
 
It all falls down (Chi-Town, stand up)
[[File:Sproke seething.png|200px|thumb|right|This image is probably a hoax.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210405085129/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/66078.html</ref>]]
Oh, when it all (Southside, Southside)
[[File:SprokeAD.png|thumb|alt=Sproke ad|An advertisement for Sproke on /qa/]]
It all falls down (we gon' set this party off right)
 
I'm tellin' you all (Westside, Westside)
<br><center><youtube>aQkk1lNMzHE</youtube></center><br>
It all falls down, oh, when it all (we gon' set this party off right)
 
Man, I promise, she's so self-conscious
<br><center>Possible footage of a young Dr. Sprokeberg advertising Sproke (video file from [[CIA]] archives).</center><br>
She has no idea what she doin' in college
 
That major that she majored in don't make no money
==Recipe==
But she won't drop out, her parents'll look at her funny
The official correct way to make Sproke, as confirmed by numerous peer-reviewed studies and independent fact checkers, is to mix the two components at a 1:1 Coke to Sprite ratio. Thoughever, in other parts of the world (particularly France), Different ratios, such as 60/40, may be preferred based on local tastes.<ref name=":0">https://web.archive.org/web/20210415095154/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/72076.html</ref>
Now, tell me that ain't insecurr
 
The concept of school seems so securr
== Variants ==
Sophomore, three yurrs, ain't picked a carurr
Sproke variants are usually identified by the ratio of letters from "Sprite" and "Coke" in the name of the variant. Some common variants are listed below, in order of Sprite content.
She like, "Fuck it, I'll just stay down hurr and do hair"
 
'Cause that's enough money to buy her a few pairs
* Scoke: 20% Sprite, 80% Coke
Of new Airs, 'cause her baby daddy don't really care
* Soke: 25% Sprite, 75% Coke
She's so precious with the peer pressure
* Spoke: 40% Sprite, 60% Coke<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210610033304/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/102116.html</ref>
Couldn't afford a car, so she named her daughter Alexis
* Sproke: 50% Sprite, 50% Coke
She had hair so long that it looked like weave
* Sprike: 60% Sprite, 40% Coke (also known as a Parisian Sproke)<ref name=":0" />
Then she cut it all off, now she look like Eve
* Cite: 75% Sprite, 25% Coke
And she be dealin' with some issues that you can't believe
* Crite: 80% Sprite, 20% Coke
Single black female addicted to retail, and well
 
Oh, when it all, it all falls down (uh)
== Sproke® Has No other Competitors besides Sperry® ==
And when it falls down, who you gon' call now?
 
I'm tellin' you all (c'mon, c'mon)
=== Dr. Fapper (this has been debunked by independent fact checkers) ===
It all falls down
One very nassy and coally day, one soyteen posted a thread with the subject, "dubs decide what I'll do" Big Sproke's spies deemed this 'teen as [[Schizophrenia|schizo]], for posting such an inane topic, and saw this as an opportunity to medicate him. Throughout the course of the thread, they kept suggesting "SPROKE" and won the specified repeating digits multiple times.
And when it falls down, oh, when it all (and when it all falls down)
 
Man, I promise, I'm so self-conscious
To everyone's disapproval, the OP couldn't deliver on the request. Instead, he perverted it. He <s>used his mother's sodas</s> concocted a wicked "Dr. Fapper" Whether he drank this mixture is yet to be determined.(I did) What's known is that the OP though that Dr. Fapper was delicious and recommended it heartily to all soyteens. <s>The last comments he typed in the thread are as follows, "[[Ongezellig|MYMY]]YYYY HAAANBBNNDSDDS SARE TYUYTRNIMG POURPLEWEE" and "HHEHRELLPPPL MNEEEEEE" That was the last time he was ever heard from.</s> I am OP, this did not happen, I am alive and well.
That's why you always see me with at least one of my watches
 
Rollies and Pashas done drove me crazy
<s>Dr Fapper is currently being investigated and tested to use as a neurotoxin.</s> '''<big>MEDS</big>''' Many 'teens have sung Dr. Fapper's praises, but most Dr. Fapper fans have been killed or silenced by [[Big Sproke|Big Sproke.]] This has led to Dr. Fapper's quasi-death on /soy/. <s>I still recommend that you try it. Big Sproke will call me a shill, spammer, and discord, but they cannot take away Dr. Fapper's delicious flavor and refreshing taste.</s> [[Jews|'''<big>SILENCE SCHIZO</big>''' Dr. Sprokenstein recommends that anyone talking about this "Dr. Fapper" gets reported to the proper authorities so they can be detained and get the proper treatment. If you suspect any plans of domestic terrorism from a "Dr. Fapper" extremist, please report them to the Department of Soyland Security. They will handle the situation with extreme prejudice and firepower.]]
I can't even pronounce nothin', pass that Ver-say-see
 
Then I spent four hundred bucks on this
==Ongoing /qa/ shilling campaign==
Just to be like, "Nigga, you ain't up on this"
On various image boards such as 4chan's /qa/ and soyjak.party's /soy/, there is an ongoing coordinated spam effort perpetrated by ((([[Big Sproke]]))) employees to promote the deadly chemical cocktail that is Sproke.
And I can't even go to the grocery store
 
Without some Ones that's clean and a shirt with a team
== Thus Sproke Zarathustra ==
It seem we livin' the American Dream
[[File:Thus Sproke Zarathustra Cover.png|thumb|Front cover of the critically acclaimed book]]
But the people highest up got the lowest self-esteem
Thus Sproke Zarathustra, also known as Also Sproch Zarathustra in German, is a A24 coming-of-age book written by the German [[Shit Nobody Cares About|Shit Nobody Cares About Enthusiast]] Friedrich Nietzsche. It's one of [[Chudjak|Chud's]] favorite books.[[File:Bigsproke.jpg|thumb|Gee, I wonder who could be behind this post...]]
The prettiest people do the ugliest things
 
For the road to riches and diamond rings
==List of Sproke merchants==
We shine because they hate us, floss 'cause they degrade us
*[[Dr. Sprokeberg]]
We tryna buy back our 40 acres
*[[Morshu]]
And for that paper, look how low we'll stoop
*[[Sneed's Feed and Seed]]
Even if you in a Benz, you still a nigga in a coupe
 
Oh, when it all (c'mon, c'mon)
{{reflist}}
It all falls down (and when it falls down, who you gon' call now?)
I'm tellin' you all (come on, come on)
It all falls down, oh, when it all (and when it all falls down)
I say, "Fuck the police, " that's how I treat 'em
We buy our way out of jail, but we can't buy freedom
We'll buy a lot of clothes, but we don't really need 'em
Things we buy to cover up what's inside
'Cause they made us hate ourself and love they wealth
That's why shorty's hollerin', "Where the ballers at?"
Drug dealer buy Jordan, crackhead buy crack
And the white man get paid off of all of that
But I ain't even gon' act holier than thou
'Cause fuck it, I went to Jacob with twenty-five thou
Before I had a house and I'd do it again
'Cause I wanna be on 106 & Park, pushin' a Benz
I want to act ballerific like it's all terrific
I got a couple past-due bills, I won't get specific
I got a problem with spendin' before I get it
We all self-conscious, I'm just the first to admit it
Oh, when it all (yeah, c'mon, c'mon)
It all falls down (and when it falls down, who you gon' call now?)
I'm tellin' you all (c'mon, c'mon)
It all falls down (and when it falls down)
Oh, when it all (Southside, Southside)
It all falls down (we gon' set this party off right)
I'm tellin' you all (Westside, Westside)
It all falls down (we gon' set this party off right)
Oh, when it all (Chi-Town, Chi-Town)
It all falls down (We gon' show 'em how we get down)
I'm tellin' you all (Now, Syleena, you just like a safe belt)
It all falls down (you saved my life, c'mon)
Oh, when it all, it all falls down
I'm tellin' you all, it all falls down
I's can't keep workin' like this
This grave shift is like a slave ship

Revision as of 12:14, 25 September 2023

Oh, when it all (yeah) It all falls down (this the real one, baby) I'm tellin' you all (uh) It all falls down (Chi-Town, stand up) Oh, when it all (Southside, Southside) It all falls down (we gon' set this party off right) I'm tellin' you all (Westside, Westside) It all falls down, oh, when it all (we gon' set this party off right) Man, I promise, she's so self-conscious She has no idea what she doin' in college That major that she majored in don't make no money But she won't drop out, her parents'll look at her funny Now, tell me that ain't insecurr The concept of school seems so securr Sophomore, three yurrs, ain't picked a carurr She like, "Fuck it, I'll just stay down hurr and do hair" 'Cause that's enough money to buy her a few pairs Of new Airs, 'cause her baby daddy don't really care She's so precious with the peer pressure Couldn't afford a car, so she named her daughter Alexis She had hair so long that it looked like weave Then she cut it all off, now she look like Eve And she be dealin' with some issues that you can't believe Single black female addicted to retail, and well Oh, when it all, it all falls down (uh) And when it falls down, who you gon' call now? I'm tellin' you all (c'mon, c'mon) It all falls down And when it falls down, oh, when it all (and when it all falls down) Man, I promise, I'm so self-conscious That's why you always see me with at least one of my watches Rollies and Pashas done drove me crazy I can't even pronounce nothin', pass that Ver-say-see Then I spent four hundred bucks on this Just to be like, "Nigga, you ain't up on this" And I can't even go to the grocery store Without some Ones that's clean and a shirt with a team It seem we livin' the American Dream But the people highest up got the lowest self-esteem The prettiest people do the ugliest things For the road to riches and diamond rings We shine because they hate us, floss 'cause they degrade us We tryna buy back our 40 acres And for that paper, look how low we'll stoop Even if you in a Benz, you still a nigga in a coupe Oh, when it all (c'mon, c'mon) It all falls down (and when it falls down, who you gon' call now?) I'm tellin' you all (come on, come on) It all falls down, oh, when it all (and when it all falls down) I say, "Fuck the police, " that's how I treat 'em We buy our way out of jail, but we can't buy freedom We'll buy a lot of clothes, but we don't really need 'em Things we buy to cover up what's inside 'Cause they made us hate ourself and love they wealth That's why shorty's hollerin', "Where the ballers at?" Drug dealer buy Jordan, crackhead buy crack And the white man get paid off of all of that But I ain't even gon' act holier than thou 'Cause fuck it, I went to Jacob with twenty-five thou Before I had a house and I'd do it again 'Cause I wanna be on 106 & Park, pushin' a Benz I want to act ballerific like it's all terrific I got a couple past-due bills, I won't get specific I got a problem with spendin' before I get it We all self-conscious, I'm just the first to admit it Oh, when it all (yeah, c'mon, c'mon) It all falls down (and when it falls down, who you gon' call now?) I'm tellin' you all (c'mon, c'mon) It all falls down (and when it falls down) Oh, when it all (Southside, Southside) It all falls down (we gon' set this party off right) I'm tellin' you all (Westside, Westside) It all falls down (we gon' set this party off right) Oh, when it all (Chi-Town, Chi-Town) It all falls down (We gon' show 'em how we get down) I'm tellin' you all (Now, Syleena, you just like a safe belt) It all falls down (you saved my life, c'mon) Oh, when it all, it all falls down I'm tellin' you all, it all falls down I's can't keep workin' like this This grave shift is like a slave ship