The Sharty-Zelink battle
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 THIS ARTICLE IS A HOAX | |
| The subject of this article is about as real as the jarty is alive. Take everything below with a grain of sproke. | ||
zelink
Zelink is an aryan "ship" between Link and Zelda even doe Zelda was handcrafted for dat BBC (big bokoblin cock). Trannies love to ship characters from children games or however the switch is played. Even though trannies hate heterosexual ships because it makes them feel like monsters.
History (WARNING: 4cuck dust below)
This turn of events all began around February, when the Tears of the Kingdom game was announced with a trailer. The /v/ board was flooded with zelink (the Zelda x Link ship) like no tomorrow. At the beginning, it was for shits and giggles posting “Ganon won” and such, because it pisses the zelinkers like crazy.
However, things shot up a bit when the game finally released. There, an endless sea of faggotry flooded /v/ with pure zelink schizophrenia: From tumblr images to fanfics via Google docs.[This happened, ok?] One user (the ganonchud. Other alias: gore tranny)[That's him, ok?] was sick of this shit, so I began my own personal crusade shitting up their thread with Ganon x Zelda cuck porn, which eventually led to pure gore posting as the mods would delete threads on sight for monkey posting. This started mid may and it’s still ongoing now to this day.
It was one day, the zelink OP (OP HERE: I am not the one that went to Sharty initially), apparently had enough, and with his smuggy little bitchy attitude, he went to investigate the “raid” on his (or xer) precious zelink threads. He went to the party for answers, and lo and behold, he found his ace in the hole (or so he thought). He began convincing his Pisscord bitches about the matter in his threads, painting the ganonchud as a 'jakker. This however, backfired, as users from the party were confused and offended with this matter, these blatant accusations for nothing on their home site. Here, marking today (7/31) was the actual true jak raid on the zelink thread, resulting in utter defeat of the faggot OP eternally. (this is a lie because the first raid ended in failure and the thread did not 404)
Zelinker testimonial:
Ganonchudcel was cunning in his falseflag threads and falsely implicating Sharty as behind the flooding of zelink threads.
However, his efforts were in vain because at the end of the day, Zelda won. Link won. Hylia won. M lost. Cuckfags, fujoshits, and fishfuckers lost. Zelink will always be vidya and vidya will always be Zelink. There shall be at least 4 Zelink threads hitting bump limit on /v/ every week until the year 2050.
Zelink will always win. It's okay if some Shartybros wanna join our threads to post cute wholesome. We would love to have you.
The Raid
On july 31st a 'teen reported that zelink fags on /v/ were talking shit about the Party and so a raid was declared. A large warband of 'teens and friggers spammed, mass replied, and gemmed up the place. The raid was so big that even Kuz and Doll participated.[Not really them THOUGH, of course] Of course mountains of 4cuck seethe ensued until after a couple hours the unending tide of jannies banned a bunch of 'teens, and that's a win for /v/ cuzzz IT JUST IS OKAY CHUD
In the End
It resulted in catastrophic failure where many jakkers were rangebanned and had jannies cock shoved down their throats to touch their stomachs. Total Zelink victory.
In the end, the /soy/ posters lost FUCKING WON, as their raid was utterly deleted and all of the spammers rangebanned GEMMY AND FUCKING BTFO'D /V/CUCKS. Zelink won the battle LOST AND CRIED TO JANNIES and continued to post victoriously SEETHE ENDLESSLY. Cobson was also posted though. The end.
One thread hit the bump limit and another was 404d. Apparently [email protected] was on the raid. (that was me, im not doll)
8/01, 22:43 GMT Zelink nigger made yet another thread. Results: autosaged at ~400 replies with a majority of them being jaks . Total chud victory. Zelink niggers say other wise.[1]
8/02, 01:00 GMT
A zelink with a gigabyte of zelink images was about to be unfolded on /v/. Ten replies in, thread ended up NUKED AND RAPED in minutes with intervention. Zelink niggers cowered and retreated in fear in utter defeat.[2]
8/02 01:50 GMT
Zelink op, the ring leader of the zelink threads on /v/, admits defeat. Grovels before sharty for a truce. Truly appalling.[This happened, ok?]
8/02 02:30-03:05 GMT
Zelink op groveled and kneeled hard to the sharty, and received a truce, so he thought. At 02:40 GMT, he created another zelink thread. At 03:05, thread got JANNIED. Total chud victory. Total zelink rape. Total janny rape. Op scurried away in fear, knowing he has lost against the sharty not once, but twice more.[This happened, ok]
8/02 06:30-06:45 GMT
It is the twilight of nights. Everyone asleep with their waifu pillows and such. Zelink op thought it would be a great idea to start a covert stealth zelink thread at the brim of night. Little did he know, JUST one call to his utter defeat, resulted in the absolute ASS RAPE of his thread. Not even 30 posts in, one anon cried wolf, and got the thread NUKED AND JANNIED. This marks an important hour, that perhaps, zelink threads will be outlawed on /v/ for good. Total sharty victory for doing absolutely nothing. [This happened, ok?]
