Ijak

To be researched: Post 950311737. Can (You) help us?

Ijak (AKA endjak) is a bizarre combination of (presumably) Wholesome and a Colorjak. According to its unix timestamp, it is supposedly posted sometime in the 2040's.

Post No. 950311737

Post Number 950311737 (Nine hundred fifty-million, three hundred thousand, seven hundred thirty-seven) will be the final post on Soyjak.Party's /soy/ board in the distant future.

History

Post 950311737 was shared on 7/14/2023 in /soy/ post No. 3892525.

The contents of the OP were as follows:

One day in the future, the final soy will be 'jakked. The last one anybody ever bothers to make. What will it look like? Will it be coal?

After an hour and a few aimless replies (a couple mocking the OPs choice of a Reddit Greentext compilation for the image), and just before the thread could be considered to be dead, a reply was made featuring the screenshot of the post with the caption:

>stumble across some archaic imageboard from the mid 21st century

>it has been dead for at least 2 decades except for the final post from some bored chink who stumbled across it 8 years before

the last 'teen?

Post contents

Attached Image

File Properties

• The file depicted in the screenshot is a w6m file, a type which does not exist in present day.
• The file's image unix timestamp is 2306931946074a. Unlike timestamps of present day, a letter is affixed to the end of it.
  • By putting the filename through a Unix timestamp translator, we can find the upload date of the image, which is February 7th, 2043, at 2:25 PM. This can be used to also determine the date of the screenshot, where the post appears to be 8 years old. thus the screenshot was taken around 2051.

File Content

The attached file depicts a Soyjak. This figure seems to derive from the wholesomejak template and shows qualities of colorjaks. The Soyjak has a distinct nose that curves downward and the frames of the glasses have no bridge. The Jak has a triple chin. The head seems to sit on a black cylindrical body with orange arms and small red ornaments or appendages.

A logo of unknown origin and a brown scribble sit beside the Soyjak.

Post

The post is written in Chinese. A machine translation outputs the following:

>I made this picture
Hello?

GUI

Information can be gathered on the graphical interface from which the screenshot was taken.

Elements

• Presearch
• Mglib
• IGV: this

Assumptions

Warning! The following may feature disinfo, psy-ops, or other infohazards created by the CIA. Proceed with caution.

Assumptions can be theorized from the screenshot.

• Imageboards themselves will still exist in the future
• The filename having an "a" at the end means that either: the way unix timestamps work changed in the meantime, or it is the result of soyjak.party changing the filename, much like how it changes the filenames on posts with more than one image
• Soyjak culture will last over 30 years
• The Soyjak.Party domain will persist
• Chinese will be the dominant spoken language, or the Soyjak.Party site was obtained by a Chinese owner or corporation, or was probably just found by some random Chinese poster.
• The Sharty will remain online for at least 8 years after its complete death. Assuming even the owner abandoned it, the server is automatically maintained through unknown means.
• the ukranian war won't go nuclear and the world will only get more and more brimstone