SCP-59Ϫ5: Difference between revisions

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[[File:Tyronius Floyd.png|thumb|Freshmen at the University of Minnesota attending a lecture on critical BBC theory, 2021 ]]'''Critical BBC Theory (CBBCT)''' is a ficticious unified cosmological theory of everything revolving around the superiority of Big Black Cock (BBC.) According to neo-Nazi right-wing schizophrenic chudcels who forgot to take their meds, CBBCT is a CIA funded form of post-modern liberal propaganda that is taught at all levels K-12 in American public schools. However, according to snopes.com,  there is absolutely no evidence whatsoever to indicate that CBBCT indoctrination is actually happening.
'''Item#:''' SCP-59Ϫ5


== Overview ==
'''Object Class:''' Keter
Even if CBBCT did exist (which it DOES NOT,) no white person would ever be capable of understanding it due to the implicit bias inherent in their subconscious. The only group of people that would be qualified to understand CBBCT (which DOES NOT actually exist,) is Black/Brown inner-city elders who have a doctoral degree in CBBCT from MIT University. These educated Black/brown elders from MIT have scientifically proven that white people would never be able to understand CBBCT (if it even existed in the first place) due to their implicit bias and lack of lived experiences. Thus, speaking speaking about CBBCT as a white person is equivalent to violence against Black Lives.
[[File:SoyWojak.png|thumb|248x248px|'''SCP-59Ϫ5''' (non anomalous)]]
'''Special Containment Procedures:''' As of Feburary 2022, SCP-59Ϫ5 is considered uncontainable. Management of SCP-59Ϫ5 is the only remaining option. Foundation agents are to infiltrate the janitoral staff of the message board [[4chan|4Channel]] whereupon agents are to remove all instances of SCP-59Ϫ5 and issue a 'nishment plea to the poster. The boards of highest priority for infiltration are /bant/ – International/Random, /g/ – Technology, and /a/ – Anime & Manga. If possible, 'nishments are to be followed up in real life by MTF Rho-1 ("The Professors"), disgused as [[CIA|CIA agents]], who are to track down the physical address of these posters and neutralize them under the guise of plotting a terrorist attack.


If CBBCT were real (which IT IS NOT,) then it would be impossible to write down any of its main ideas on paper. Since the white man invented writing, there is no way to write down anything that is not institutionally racist. The only way to learn about CBBCT would be through the oral tradition of the Zulu nation, passed down from generation to generation since the beginning of time.
'''Addendum''' '''19/11/2021:''' The deletion of /qa/ – Question & Answer, the former primary infection vector for SCP-59Ϫ5, has slightly impeded the spread of SCP-59Ϫ5, but it is not likely to last long. –Dr. Ryans
 
'''Description:''' SCP-59Ϫ5 is a cognitohazardous internet meme depicting a middle aged [[Soyjak|man with an open mouth]] symbolizing inauthentic excitement. Exposure to SCP-59Ϫ5 for a period longer than 10 minutes will result in the exposed individual becoming an instance of SCP-59Ϫ5-1. These instances will lose all forms of higher consciousness and will shortly begin spamming SCP-59Ϫ5 images, typically by quoting another poster as if to mock what the other poster is saying; however, SCP-59Ϫ5-1 instances have also been known to quote any stimulus provided to them seemingly at random (See: Document #Ϫ-1). Aside from a set of specific words,<ref>Examples include "cope", "seethe", and "dilate". Lingustic investigation is ongoing.</ref> SCP-59Ϫ5-1 instances cannot communicate in English or any other language. They will occasionally engage in [[Soyduel|an activity resembling a spectator sport]] which involves two or more SCP-59Ϫ5-1 instances quoting each other with SCP-59Ϫ5 variants until only one remains. These events seem to create more variants of SCP-59Ϫ5 and are therefore to be avoided at all costs.
 
[[Category:SOY.C.Ps]]

Latest revision as of 23:30, 8 March 2024

Item#: SCP-59Ϫ5

Object Class: Keter

SCP-59Ϫ5 (non anomalous)

Special Containment Procedures: As of Feburary 2022, SCP-59Ϫ5 is considered uncontainable. Management of SCP-59Ϫ5 is the only remaining option. Foundation agents are to infiltrate the janitoral staff of the message board 4Channel whereupon agents are to remove all instances of SCP-59Ϫ5 and issue a 'nishment plea to the poster. The boards of highest priority for infiltration are /bant/ – International/Random, /g/ – Technology, and /a/ – Anime & Manga. If possible, 'nishments are to be followed up in real life by MTF Rho-1 ("The Professors"), disgused as CIA agents, who are to track down the physical address of these posters and neutralize them under the guise of plotting a terrorist attack.

Addendum 19/11/2021: The deletion of /qa/ – Question & Answer, the former primary infection vector for SCP-59Ϫ5, has slightly impeded the spread of SCP-59Ϫ5, but it is not likely to last long. –Dr. Ryans

Description: SCP-59Ϫ5 is a cognitohazardous internet meme depicting a middle aged man with an open mouth symbolizing inauthentic excitement. Exposure to SCP-59Ϫ5 for a period longer than 10 minutes will result in the exposed individual becoming an instance of SCP-59Ϫ5-1. These instances will lose all forms of higher consciousness and will shortly begin spamming SCP-59Ϫ5 images, typically by quoting another poster as if to mock what the other poster is saying; however, SCP-59Ϫ5-1 instances have also been known to quote any stimulus provided to them seemingly at random (See: Document #Ϫ-1). Aside from a set of specific words,[1] SCP-59Ϫ5-1 instances cannot communicate in English or any other language. They will occasionally engage in an activity resembling a spectator sport which involves two or more SCP-59Ϫ5-1 instances quoting each other with SCP-59Ϫ5 variants until only one remains. These events seem to create more variants of SCP-59Ϫ5 and are therefore to be avoided at all costs.

  1. ↑ Examples include "cope", "seethe", and "dilate". Lingustic investigation is ongoing.
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