Thrembometer

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Thrembometer (inactivated)

A thrembometer is a precision instrument and measuring device that is used to assess the thrembosity of an object. Superfically, a thrembometer may resemble a Markiplier Soyjak; however, this is just a coincidence.

Thrembometers are harmless.

History

The first time a 4chan poster mentioned thrembometers was on /qa/ on October 11th, 2021 in a post in which they categorically dismissed their existence.[1] In actuality, thrembometers have existed since ancient times.

Leaked documents indicate that thrembometers played a key role in the sequencing of Die Sohjabonen during World War II.

Description and purpose

A thrembometer consists of an elongated face-like frame that is curved at the sides by two weights (which may superfically resemble "ears"), an antenna that is attached at the dome and which changes in colour, and two ear-like slits which do the same. The lower half of a thrembometer's visage is occupied by a yellow grid which is actually just a cheese grater attached for convience and is not strictly part of the device itself.

When activated, thrembometers produce oscillations similar to that of a metronome.[2]. Leading thrembologists theorise that the amplitude and speed of these oscillations are determined by the device's reaction to an otherwise undetectable property of objects, henceforth referred to as the thrembosity of an object.

As of yet, the only thrembometer model confirmed to exist is the Thrembometer 4000-CH; however, several other unidentified models have been rumoured. The main body of the Thrembometer 4000-CH has a dial, a wave graph display, and a legal notice reading "do not disassemble". The numbers near the axis of the main body's rotation range from 1 to 9, including Ϫ.

In popular culture

A picture of an inactivated thrembometer was featured as the Dailyjak for October 14, 2021. Thrembologists have welcomed this publicity.

Citations

  1. https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/5219415/#5219814
  2. Click here to view activated thrembometer
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