Soyrooms

Soyrooms are a number of unexplored, mysterious locations which are supposedly populated by strange and monstrous types of soyjaks.

A soyjak attacking a cameraman at Level 1.

While there are a few ways to noclip into the soyrooms, I’m going to tell you the most reliable way of noclipping into the soyrooms.

First you have to get to page 41 on the catalog of /soy/, but wait, there is no page 41 you say? The catalog ends at page 40. Well your right, sort of…

You see sometimes at odd hours of the day, if your a lucky and patent enough, it will appear; the “next” button that’s normally blued out will be silver again. If you click it, it will take you to “page 41” of the catalog.

Now when you’re on page 41 don’t click out, because you might not get the chance to get back to page 41 for a vary long time, if ever. You will notice that this page doesn’t look any different than the other pages, it will be filled with old ‘jak threads, just like page 40. But if you scroll down to the bottom you will notice something peculiar, it will be a picture similar to pic related: a room or hallways with yellow wallpaper and fluorescent lights, sometimes with a random ‘jak overlaid, sometimes not.

The picture it self will have some generic filename, like “clipboard.png” click the thumbnail and enter the thread. One thing you’ll notice is the thread is lock, and there are no replies. This means your in the right thread. Grab the OP image and save it to your desktop, then when you’re ready to enter the soyrooms, open the image on your desktop.

They’ll be a sudden gust of when like as if you’re falling and it will be pitch black, this sensation will last only a matter of seconds until suddenly you’ll find yourself in a set of similar looking rooms and hallways to that of the image you saved to your desktop. Welcome to the soyrooms, level 1

A picture of a soyjak pointing at a fingerboy.

The Soyrooms, Level 1

Level 1 is the simplest and safest of the soyrooms, it is comprised of a series of seemingly endless empty hallways and rooms decorated with yellow wallpaper illuminated by old buzzing fluorescent lights, the floor is covered in an old scratchy green carpet. There is sparse decoration to be found on this level, although occasionally random furniture and containers can be found at random, in addition to framed pictures of soyjaks lining the walls.

Inside the containers there will usually be just random items, some useful some not, but it is possible to find rare and valuable items such as Soylent, Sproke, Nintendo merchandise, Gems, and Coal in theses containers. Soylent and Sproke are packaged drinks and can be consumed or traded for other items. Gems are exceptionally rare and highly valued by all in the soyrooms, while coal is general considered to be undesirable except in the deeper levels of the soyrooms.

The Level 1 space itself is very large, if not infinite. You can walk for hours without discovering anything significant.  Though if you are persistent enough you might manage to come across a random roaming soyjaks in this level.

The soyjaks encountered in this level are almost always neutral or friendly, they are always standard human “soyboy” variants and can be found playing Nintendo switch and drinking soylent. You can talk to and trade items with the se creatures, as they sometimes have useful stuff they are willing to trade.

Outside of the occasional soyjak, there’s not many other beings wandering on this level. There have been instances where travelers have encountered lesser fingerboys, while lesser fingerboys aren’t overly aggressive they can be territorial and have been know to attack wanders if provoked. Luckily they are smallest and weakest of fingerboys and can be dispatched or scared off if encountered. They also have an inherent weakness to sproke.

When you are ready to ascend to the next level seek out a door, these doors may vary a little but they’ll generally all look the same: an old brown painted wood door. Some of them will be looked, others will be missing handles, and some will be intact and unlocked. proceed through one of the doors to enter Level 2.  Alternatively, if you find a rare blue metal industrial door, theses can be entered to access Level 3

A feral soyjak about to attack a cameraman.

The Soyrooms, Level 2

Level 2 consists of a series of nonlinear hallways and rooms in a manner similar to an art museum, occasional framed and painted images of soyjaks can be found on the walls similar too Level 1 but much more frequently. The soyjaks pictures found on this level are more varied then in level 1, they include more abstract depictions of ‘jaks, such as ragejaks, schizojaks and sometimes colorjaks.

Much like in level 1 furniture and containers are uncommon but can be found at random, the hallways here also seem to go on for infinity. Friendly soyjaks can be found wandering the halls much like in level 1, but they may also be accompanied by wholesomejaks and Swedejaks, who when asked why they are doing here simply respond with “visiting the museum”.

Some travelers claim to have seen a Gigachad with multiple heads at the exit of level 2, which doesn't let them pass if its not paid with a tribute. Despite all this, its existence has not been confirmed.

Unlike in level 1 the lighting in level 2 is inconsistent, some areas my be darker than others, and as a general rule of thumb try and avoid darker lit rooms. Lesser fingerboys are known to wander more frequently in theses parts, sometimes in packs of 2 or 3. They are territorial much like in level one but their increased numbers make them slightly more of a threat so tread with caution.

Other residents of the darker region include feraljaks, they are generally unfriendly and will attempt to convince you to “eat the bugs” and they themselves can often be found snacking on various insects found scurrying around the floors and walls.  Thought they are generally non-violent some wanders have reported being attacked by feraljaks on occasion, so watch yourself around them.

If you find yourself interning an area with an increasing number of disturbing or deformed jaks it is recommended that you turn around and proceed to another area, as some wanders have reported strange anomalies occurring in these areas, such as hearing strange voices or seeing unsettling images reminiscent of schizo and feraljaks off in the distance. There are also rumors of something that lives somewhere in one of the darker rooms that causes wanders to go insane and turn schizo, but it is unknown if this is a myth or not.

If you are ready to venture deeper into they soyrooms, seek out a blue metal door, theses will sometimes be locked so you may have to find a key that fits or pick the lock if you are able, these doors will take you to Level 3. Alternatively, if you wish to return to level 1, seek out brown wooded doors, they will take you back to level 1.  On rare occasions you can find large concrete pipes sticking out of the wall seemingly at random, while not always large enough to fit into it is possible to find ones that are large enough for you to crawl into. Theses pipes will take you to Level 4.

A crowd of angry homeless soyjaks.

The Soyrooms, Level 3

Level 3 resembles an old dimly lit underground subway station that appear to be in a state of disrepair and disuse. The subway tunnel seem to stretch on for miles in between terminals, graffiti of soyjaks can be found painted on the walls.

Wile many terminals are abandoned, some are know to house small colonies of Norwegian Soyjaks or Soyboys/jaks. Theses colonies can be used as safe spaces to rest and trade while exploring the level. Other “homeless” jaks are known to sleep in large bedsheets on walkway and tracks between terminals, they are generally non hostile and can be traded with.

In comparison to level one and two level three has much more risks exploring, there are know to be packs of 3 to 5 lesser fingerboys, usually accompanied by an adult fingerboys patrolling the subway tunnels. They make their nests in the maintenance corridor and access tunnel between thermals, were there are known to be colonies of up to 5 to 10 lesser and adult fingerboys. It is recommended to avoid these areas unless sufficiently equipped to deal with them.

Another threat know to wander the tunnels of level 3 are Benedict Cumberjaks, who are known to speak in a cockney British accent and harass travelers by insulting them in almost unintelligible English and even attacks them with knives and clubs they call “bleeders”. They are know to attack and harass the various soyboys and Norwegians inhabitants from time to time.  

If you wish to proceed further you will need to seek out large concrete pipes that are know to appear in the maintenance tunnels were fingerboys are know to make there nests, crawling through one of theses larger pipes will take you to Level 4. Alternatively, if you wish to return to level 2 seek out a blue metal door like the kind you used to access level 3.  Brown wooden door that will take you back to level 1 can be found rarely on this level as well.

A rare picture of level 4.

The Soyrooms, Level 4

Level 4 resembles a series of large cisterns connected to one another by large concrete and metal floodgates, theses cisterns can vary in size from several hundred yards to several miles in size. Each cistern is known to have varying levels of fluid, and the volume is known to change over time, sometimes very slowly by trickle we’re very rapidly by a sudden flash flood.

Consistency of the fluid in the cisterns varies, but is usually either Soylent, Sproke or a mix of the two. However some cisterns are know to contain a strange viscous white fluid of unknown origin, consuming this liquid is believed to cause adverse effects.

There are no known humanoid soyjak inhabitants of level 4, that being said level 4 is home to a large number of colonies of ratjaks and crabjaks. Theses critters are are generally neutral but can sometimes be friendly or hostile depending on the group. There is also a number of lesser deformedjaks that are known to roam the level, often attacking wanders carrying gems while ignoring wanders caring coal.  Adult fingerboys are know to roam the level, but not in as large of numbers as previous levels due in part to the high concentrations of Sproke on this level.

Finding an exit from this level can be quite tricky at times, as the pipes that are used to enter level 4 are few and far between. The known entrance to level 5 is can be found on the upper walkways of some cisterns, theses walkways are hard to access as they are high up and there are no stairs or ladders up to them. A set of glass sliding doors are known to appear sometimes on theses walkways that will take you to Level 5.

Let it be know that the Soyrooms are vast and largely unexplored, and if you’re feeling brave enough (or foolish enough) you can be the one to map out the unexplored levels of the Soyrooms. One only know what untold horrors may lie within the depths of the Soyrooms.

In popular culture

Many popular genre bending slow burn found footage VHS analog horror films have been made about the soyrooms