'Jak Dealer

This page is a stub or is unfinished. (You) WILL help by expanding it

The 'jak dealer is a mysterious soyteen who supposedly possesses the rarest and most potent soyjaks in existence, which have the supernatural ability to slowly kill anyone soyquoted with one by transmogrifying them into a soyboy, and making their brain only able to be satisfied by consuming Soylent until they die of nutrient deficiency.

Even though he has taken the lives of hundreds of 'jakkers, attempts by the authorities to find information about him and his cause (or in newfag speak: KILL DOX RAPE!!!) have been unsuccessful. According to several witnesses, on 20th of May, 2022 he cut his eyes out to prevent himself from seeing his own soyjaks and falling victim to their ability.

Known 'jaks

Posts from the 'jak dealer and those who have acquired his 'jaks have yet to be archived due to the fact that everyone to view them is either dead or too busy consooming Soylent to care, but hiding the file before scrolling down and looking for context in the replies has revealed some of their filenames:

• death.png
• pestilence.png
• famine.png

Their naming style based on the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse suggests there may exist a "war.png", however the nature of Poopson and his ability to inflict suicidal thoughts on viewing could be evidence he is also among the 'jak dealer's many works, and rather disturbingly, one of his least powerful.