Soypocalypse

They were given power over the 'arty to coal by goon, 'p, leaks, and by the vantablackest of brimstone.

“	A few people laughed, a few people cried, most people were silent. I remembered the line from the Soyble scripture, the Bhagavad-Lita. Admin 6 is trying to persuade the Troon that xe should do xer duty and to impress xer takes on his multi-armed form and says, 'now I am become Coal, destroyer of gems.' I suppose we all thought that one way or another.	”
Cobson, shortly after the sharty's closure

OFFICIAL THREAD THEME!!!!!!!!!!!

Doll's message that used to appear when you went to Soyjaks.party (before it too went down)

The great exsoydus

The Soypocalypse, or Soymaggedon was an event which began on 14-15 August 2023 and ended on the 22th of August. It begun after soyjak.party and jakparty.soy closed their doors to normal posters. finished with the shut down of both websites and openings of the bunker. After a very brief return on the 20th, soyjaks.party came back for real on the 22th of August. However, it might just be getting started...

How it happened

Poopson (aka Brojak) is released/ "gigaleaked" early, causing the following events to unfold:

• Red, a Kuz-era mod, former manager of the Party, and a commiepedotroon nigger, goes rogue and releases a "leak" which included IPs from the Party and staff, blanket rangebanning the entire Party and vandalizing the Soyjak Wiki, all to advertise a 'cord where xe released said leaks;
• Xe was immediately fired from the Party staff and then from the Wiki, following an incredibly long and Looney Tunes-esque banfight between xem and another 'ki moderator.
• Doll posts that the Party is for sale, and it is unknown if a new buyer will be considered or if Mr. E will still go through with it.
• Apathy sets in with the mods and jannies and mass NAScoal spam occurs and allegedly a SCAM raid occurs.
• The Party is brought offline, likely a prevention tactic before cordniggers could DDOS it or spam it with CSAM. Discuss current happenings at: Sharty is down.
  • Doll took it down due to coalflare not working properly and because of the $8000 bid.
• The booru goes down. Admins get locked out of the server, and the server is wiped.
• Due to the massive influx of users and the lack of moderation manpower" (mass 'p spam), jakparty.soy is brought offline.
• Now without a home, soyteens fragment onto niche splinter sites hosted by various namecucks.
  • or teens return to the 4cuck for a uprising demanding /soy/ or the reopening of /qa/ through the flooding of all boards
  • Many teens flock to bunker.soyjak.wiki, a splinter hosted here.
  • The 8chan bunker, 8chan.moe/soy/ remains unscathed by the events, however since 8chan was taken off the clear net, phoneposters can’t access it(possibly gemmy).
• Max offers to buy the sharty for a lower price, with shitty ideas that will ruin the sharty even if he bought it, Doll declined
  • Doll is a sellout who couldn't pay his fucking debts so he took the sharty hostage, do we really need to protect him?
    • tsmt. doll bought it for a HUGE fuckin price which he could not afford at all. now because of that selfish prick we have no sharty.
• When the nu-sharty opens some ‘teens go there too
• Soyjaks.party shows a message by Doll, announcing that he will not continue keeping the site online.
• The jarty announces they will return on August 16th, with increased measures against 'p spam.
• The sharty returns briefly with a new, mysterious admin dubbed Chood (who turned out to actually be Dr E later on), but immediately goes down again.
• The sharty returns again on the 22th of August, this time more permanently. The Soyumvirate rules for now, with Froot set to take over and become admin, marking the end of the Soypocalpse.

OH MY HECKING YOTSUBA ITS JUST LIKE THE BIBLE

• God = God
• Soyteens = The Israelites
• Soot = Moses
• Kuz = John the Baptist
• Doll = Saint Peter
• Max = The crowd of Jews that called for Jesus to be killed (Max represents every single one of them)
• Red = Judas
• Admin Ϫ = Jesus
• Me = Noah from Noah's Ark because my name is Noah and that means noone else is allowed to be Noah but me ok <------ Pass me a slider <----- nuh uh
• Discord = The Devil

Soundtrack

• Syd Matters - Obstacles
• Badfinger - Baby Blue
• Falconer - We Sold Our Homesteads
• Candlemass - Solitude
• Penpals - Tell Me Why
• The Doors - The End
• Roy Orbison - It's Over
• DJ Shadow - You Can't Go Home Again
• Shiro Sagisu / Arianne - Komm, Susser Tod
• David Thoughie - Gem Cobbity
• Black - Wonderful Life
• Warren Zevon - Keep Me In Your Heart For A While
• Vera Lynn - We'll Jak Again
• The Band - The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down
• Johnny Cash - For The Good Times
• Songs: Ohia - Farewell Transmission
• КИНО - Звезда по имени солнце
• Ween - I'll Miss You
• Jon Bon Jovi - Blaze of Glory
• Karl Berbuer - Trizonesien-Song
• Peste Noire - Dueil Angoisseus
• Weezer — Say It Ain't So
• New Radicals — You Get What You Give

Vadim Kazachenko - [1]

• Any song The Smiths did or whatever
• man these are all boomer songs 💀💀💀💀fuck this shit nigga imma put my own song
  • NONE OF THESE ARE FUCKING BOOMER SONGS YOU UNCULTURED SWINE I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU PERSONALLY HANGED AT MY DOORSTEP. <---- angry boomer
    • t. zoomnigger
• Evanescence — Bring Me To Life
• Linkin Park — In The End
• Pete Rock & CL Smooth - They Reminisce Over You (T.R.O.Y.)
• Caramell - Caramelldansen
• Billy Joel - Goodnight Saigon
• The Aquabats - Hello, Goodnight
• Rammstein - Adieu
• Townes Van Zandt - Poncho and Lefty
• Coldplay - Viva la Vida
• R.E.M. - It’s The End Of The World As We Know It

Soyrapture

2 more weeks goys, trvst me

^idk man sharty quality got worse......