/vp/ trolling tactics
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"All warfare is based on deception.
Hence, when we are able to attack, we must seem unable;
when using our forces, we must appear inactive;
when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away;
when far away, we must make him believe we are near."
« Main page: Internet Trolling Tactics
/vp/ - Pokémon is by far the easiest 4cuck board to disrupt, bait, troll, raid, and forcefully subject to all manner of novel and psychologically-damaging soyops. Much like the suppressed immune system of a terminally ill AIDS patient, the board is constantly beset on all fronts by a myriad of internal and external crises plaguing the catalog, making it a fertile playground for mischievous 'teens to do a little trolling. These crises include (but are not limited to):
- Civil unrest: Since Game Freak's announcement in June 2019 that not every Pokémon would be programmed into the then-upcoming titles Pokémon Sword & Shield (colloquially referred to as "Dexit"), public approval of both Game Freak and the Pokémon franchise as a whole noticeably plummeted on /vp/, with a significant portion of its userbase swearing never to buy another Pokémon game again. The result is a growing disenfranchised population of people who cannot leave, but feel threatened and exploited by forces beyond their control, and who violently act out in rage and indignation at any authority figure upholding the status quo that they can sink their claws into. As President George F. Jefferson once said, "a board divided against itself cannot stand, or however the shake is grimaced."
- Discord raiders: /vp/ is plagued by several Discord servers, which advertise themselves at the top of the page with self-serve ads and coordinate genwar threads amongst themselves. Their exact loyalties are enigmatic, and vary wildly depending on who is currenty accusing who of being a Discord poster, but it is a generally accepted fact that at least one of them shills in favor of Gen II and against Gen V.[it just is, ok?]
- Genwarring: In the grim darkness of Last Thursday, there is only genwarring. "Genwarring" is the term describing the phenomenon in which the denizens of /vp/ nigh-constantly bicker amongst themselves about which generation of Pokémon is the most "based" and which is the most "cringe." Despite genwars being prohibited by a board-specific rule, one can expect roughly 25% of the catalog at any given moment to consist entirely of either thinly-veiled or flagrantly-obvious genwar threads. Due to the nature of genwarring, the specifics of the philosophy behind it are virtually unascertainable. All that can really be gleaned is that:
- It's every genwarposter for themselves
- Everyone else is Discord until proven otherwise (you can't prove otherwise)
- Ineffective moderation: Even by 4cuck standards, the jannies on /vp/ are exceptionally lazy. More often than not, obvious bait, 'jaks, uncensored 'cado pics, and gore will stay up for an hour or more before getting pruned, and rule-breaking genwar, furry, and fetish threads will either quietly archive or reach the bumo and image limits.
- Mental illness: The bright and colorful cartoon creatures inhabiting the Pokémon world and the games' straightforward rock-paper-scissors gameplay makes the Pokémon franchise notoriously attractive to neurodivergent people. 4cuck is also rampant with untreated mental illness. Guess what happens when you combine the two?
- Pedophiles: /vp/ is full of pedophiles. Actual pedophiles. Whether they are there to groom and prey upon the largely underage userbase or to cope with their own arrested development is anyone's guess, but the fact remains that the "/vp/edo" problem is both inescapable and in desperate need of a solution.
- Underage posters: Contrary to popular belief, the Pokémon franchise is primarily made for and marketed to children under the age of 18. Because of this, it is widely theorized by many armchair web analysts that /vp/ has the highest amount of underage posters per capita of any 4cuck board. As such (and in conjunction with other factors) the quality of the average /vp/ post is noticeably less than that of say, the average /lit/ or /sci/ post.
If the idea of making a bad situation worse at the expense of 'cuckers (and their jannies) sounds appealing to you, keep reading to learn about some helpful tips and tricks.
General tips
"Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness.
Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness.
Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate."
All general 4cuck trolling tactics apply to /vp/ as well. Remember to not post from your home IP to make ban evading easier. When in doubt, disagree with someone. /vp/ users viscerally detest differing opinions.
- Post a soyjak or use soyteen lingo. Guaranteed rage.
- Avatarfag, namefag, tripfag, and blogpost. Guaranteed rage.
- Blame sharty raids on Discord. Claim false responsibility for Discord threads. Mask all troll posts on /vp/ in a thick layer of ambiguity until the sharty becomes an omnipresent ur-boogeyman blamed for anything and everything.
- Don't get attached to anything or anyone. Hold no loyalties to any ideology. Shill for games you hate. Shit on games you love. Become unknowable.
- Praise whatever the latest Pokémon games are (currently Scarlet & Violet) and defend Game Freak to your dying breath. Guaranteed rage.
- Say that any problems in the latest games are Nintendo's fault due to rushing Game Freak for yearly releases.
- Say that the switch to 3D Pokémon games was a good thing. Guaranteed rage.
- Claim that the Switch 3D models are different from the 3DS models.
- Claim that new textures = new models.
- Claim that the 3D animations aren't recycled.
- Claim that the new animations are better than the ones from Colosseum/XD/PBR because they're snappy and to the point.
- Encourage other people to buy the latest Pokémon games. If they say they're not buying them, or that they're emulating them, call them broke and poor.
- Defend Joe Merrick/Serebii (notorious paid shill) as much as possible. Say that his site is better than Bulbapedia and PokemonDB.
- Praise the removal of the National Dex. Claim that the graphics and performance of the games are better than ever as a direct result, that nobody cares about the shitmons that got cut, that it doesn't even matter anyway, that you don't mind paying $15.99/year for Pokémon HOME because you're not broke, etcetera ad infinitum. Guaranteed rage.
- Tell people that they're mindless CONSOOMers and "you'll buy it anyways."
- TRVTHNUKE dexcels by saying that SWSH and SV have the most amount of Pokémon in them without transferring out of any mainline game.
- Defend the removal of Set Mode by saying that nobody is forcing you to switch anyway.
- Say that Pokémon GO is the best game because it has all the Pokémon.
- Say that Pokémon aren't content.
- Imply or claim that if a game sells well, it's better. Many of /vp/'s darlings (Crystal, Platinum, B2W2) were some of the lowest-selling games in the franchise's history, and many of their most-hated games broke sales records.
- Post sales performance charts. Guaranteed rage.
- Say that if you don't like SWSH/SV, you're a contrarian and that most people like them better than the other games because they sold more units. Also say that Game Freak will keep making games like them because they sold well.
- Trash /vp/'s most beloved games (GSC, Emerald, Platinum, HGSS, and B2W2.) Guaranteed rage.
- Praise the new designs and modern art style of newer Pokémon.
- Praise James Turner and his work as a Pokémon designer. Say that more Westerners should be designing Pokémon.
- Defend poorly-designed modern Pokémon by pointing out that it's based on a thing, so it's good.
- Claim that calling humanoid designs (Incineroar, Rillaboom, Cinderace, etc.) "furbait" is just projecting your own fetishes onto benign cartoon characters. Guaranteed rage from furries-in-denial.
- Say that Charizard is the coolest Pokémon.
- Say that the word "contrarian" is meaningless and that only seething retards on damage control use it.
- Say that Sinnoh was the first non-Japanese region because the Battle Zone is partially based on some islands that Russia lays territorial claim to. Guaranteed seethe.
- Say that Diamond & Pearl are better than Platinum.
- Claim that the physical/special split ruined Pokémon.
- Post slowed down game footage of Pokémon Battle Revolution.
- Say that Pokémon started becoming woke in Gen V.
- Claim that Mega Evolution was a bad thing and ruined most Pokémon who got it in Gen VI threads. Claim that it started nu-gen pandering to KANTOOOOOOOOOO. Point out that Charizard got two Mega Evolutions.
- Claim that Z-Moves are a Yokai Watch knockoff and started the infantilization of the franchise in Gen VII threads.
- Say that the death of /rpg/ - Retro Pokémon General was a good thing. Guaranteed rage.
- Say that the anime was never good or is obviously made for little kids in /padt/- Pokémon Anime Discussion Thread. Guaranteed rage.
- Defend the decisions of Smogon/Pokémon Showdown moderation. Praise every quickban and suspect test.
- Say that Showderp dying is a good thing.
- Be as anti-Smogon/Pokémon Showdown as possible, and be as pro-VGC as possible. Make sure to call Smogon a "fanfic meta."
- Imply or outright state that it takes more skill and/or intelligence to play VGC than singles competitively.
- Say that Digimon is better than Pokémon.
- Say that Yu-Gi-Oh is better than Pokémon.
- Say that Temtem is better than Pokémon.
- Say that Yokai Watch is better than Pokémon.
- Say that Fossil Fighters is better than Pokémon.
- Say that Grand Theft Auto is better than Pokémon.
- Say that Skyrim is better than Pokémon.
- ay that Bethesda should develop Pokémon instead of Game Freak.
- Drop this TRVTHNUKE: Pokémon is only made for elementary school-age kids. You are not the target audience. Game Freak will never listen to you. If you are still playing Pokémon, you are literally a manchild and need to grow up.
- Tell /vp/ posters to play another game.
- Post this image along with the text "/vp/ has gone insane".
- When you're ready, use advanced trolling techniques.
Fun buzzwords
- boogeyman
- Bros.. you told me X...
- cachinnate
- [citation needed]
- dextranny/dextrannies/dextroon/dextroons
- dexcel(s)
- dexchud(s)
- dexcord / dexcorder(s)
- dextard(s)
- Discordtranny/Discordtrannies
- disinformation
- falseflagger
- fanfic meta
- Johtoddler
- Johtranny / Johtroon
- Johturd
- manchildren
- mindbroken
- "newpokemon"
- objectively
- OH NO NO NO
- "oldpokemon"
- pissbabies
- pissbr (referring to PBR/Pokemon Battle Revolution)
- pokéturd
- rent free
- SHITnova
- small indie company
- smogcuck(s)
- smoggie(s)
- Smogoncord
- Smogontranny
- Stallgon
- "(X)cord woke up"
- "(X)sisters... we got too cocky"
- Unovabortion(s)/borts
- VGCuck
- *yawn*
Genwarring tips
General tips
- Claim that "old games bad, new games good" in earlier generation (I/II/III/IV) threads.
- Claim that the remakes of games are better than the originals in threads where the original games are being discussed.
- Claim that "new games bad, old games good" in later generation (VI/VII/VIII/XI) threads.
- Claim that the original games are better than the remakes in threads where the remakes are being discussed.
- Accuse anyone who likes any generation of being from Discord.
Coomer thread tips
- Be anti-coomer in coomer threads. Guaranteed rage.
- Kinkshame people in fetish threads (unless they get off on it). Samefagging disgusted reaction images in the vein of 4cuck screencap posts works wonders in swaying the hivemind's opinion against a poster.
- Report furries for being furries.
- Call people who masturbate to humanoid Pokémon like Gardevoir furries.
- Go to Danbooru, download high-res pictures, and insert stealthjaks into them. Post these stealthjaks in popular threads so unsuspecting 'cuckers save and repost them, or hijack a general that's about to die and use it as the OP image. Remember: the best stealthjak is one that stays hidden until you're ready to reveal its presence.
- Say that the age of consent in all first-world countries is 18.
- Say that the age of consent should be raised to 21.
- Say that any and all Pokégirls are built, bred, and laboriously handcrafted for BBC.
- Call anyone who thirstposts about Pokégirls a porn-addicted tranny, and tell them that they will never be real women.
- Call anyone who likes the little girls a pedophile.
- Say that most /vp/ users are actual pedophiles or pedophiles in denial.
- Call anyone who likes the adults a hag fucker.
- Post 3DPD cosplayers in Pokégirl threads. /vp/edos hate real women almost as much as they hate Pokémon games, which is saying something.
- Post AI-generated art in Pokégirl threads. The more obvious it is, the better.
- Just post complete bullshit all the time. Start a soyduel. Turn it into a goofy ahh skibidi Ohio thread. Go NUTS.
Advanced techniques
Boomerfagging
The Boomerfag is a mythical faerie-creature thought to roam the bowels of /vp/ in pursuit of trolling the everloving fuck out of genwar posters.
Here is a MS Paint schizographic someone made describing the textbook characteristics of the Boomerfag. If you wish to carry on the torch of the Boomerfag, simply do as it says:
Vorefagging
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 Warning! |
The vorefag is a dangerously unhinged schizo that derails every Cynthia thread with a comic of Cynthia getting vored by a Team Plasma Grunt's Seviper. He's genuinely a fucking weirdo, so LARPing as him is kind of risky, but it can generate some funny (You)s, so fuck it we ball. If you see him, remind him that he:
>got expelled from NYU for stalking and harassing a female hapa classmate that vaguely resembled Cynthia
>got a formal warning at work for posting uncensored vore art on 4cuck from his work computer
>got evicted from his apartment
>got permabanned from his favorite vore artist's Discord
>got his favorite vore comic DMCA'd by Nintendo
for guaranteed rage.
Both pages of the comic are behind the collapsible. Obviously NSFW.
Yawnfagging
Yawnfagging is when you make a meme in Paint with two soyjaks that portrays /vp/ as hypocrites. It was named after some guy named yawnfag that used to post these images, but now it's more or less just 'teens or something.
Yawnfag gallery
Copypasta repository
"Supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."
Why put effort into making an elaborate baitpost when you can just copy and paste 2,000 characters worth of tried-and-true wordswordswords and rake in the (You)s anyways?
If that sounds like a good plan to you, then keep reading.
Wait, Did Nasu just BTFO all of /vp/'s old vs modern Pokémon game argument?
>Explains how the issues in modern pokemon have existed forever
>Explains how it's the corporate Nintendo's fault and their shitty rules that the game is bad and not Gamefreak/Masuda/Ohmori
>Explains how the franchise always had bad designed mons, even in Gen 1 and that GF never adopted a new design philosophy
>Explains how the shift to 3D isnt the start of the downfall of Pokémon, but it just exacerbated and highlighted existing problems
>Explains how the games always had cut corners, even in 2D Pokémon and proves it by showing proof that the idle animation in gen 5 are just illusion of trad sprite animation
>Explains how GF has always recycled designs and gives concrete proof of it (the sprite of Anorith, Lairon)
>Explains how GF has never made the 3d Pokémon models
>Explains how replacing GF with another company wont change anything
>Explains how PBR ripped assets from Nintendo 64 models
>Explains how major battle (ie champions) never flopped and gives proof of it
>Explains how every Pokémon game weren't good at the first try and only got good in their third release
>Explains how Pokémon has always been shit
>Explains how no one knows when pokemon fell off and has always been ambiguous
Where is YOUR evidence to back up your ridiculous claims about your modern Pokémon games arguments? By all means, watch the whole video, I promise you that you can't debunk it.
>inb4 i get told to shut the fuck up by someone who hasn't watched the video and is triggered by these FACTS
>inb4 someone calls me a gamefreak shill
>inb4 someone calls me a zoomer
>inb4 someone uses anecdotal evidence
>inb4 someone says that im wrong
>inb4 someone calls me a cuck
>inb4 someone says "ywnbaw"
>inb4 "muh slide thread"
>inb4 "sage" because /vp/tard is triggered by a different opinion
i'm open to having my mind changed. but only with reliable sources that explain why Pokémon games look like what it is now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A7sRX53_LA
gen 2 was a mistake
>most forgettable starters
>Johto gym leaders don't use Johto pokemon
>too many Johtomons locked behind Kanto
>besides a few mons, the most competitively unviable of all gens
>most available Johtomons have unappealing stats/learnsets even for a normal playthrough
>awful wild Pokémon distribution
>useless babymons to pad dex count
>pathetic level curve
>strongest wild encounter is mid lv 30
>encountering lv 3-5s on your way to the 16th badge
>gym leaders/champ need hacked mons
>uninspired, linear map
>only 4 branching paths in the Johto map, the fewest of all games
>edgy fanfic-tier rival
>routes are decorated hallways, only one route has a reason to revisit
>cringe-tier Team Rocket plot
>killed pokemania
>gamefreak acknowledges that Gen 2 was the final cash in on the early craze
>left Tajiri in a state of depression
>created Kanto pandering
>worst selling 3rd version in history
>by far the most insecure and schizophrenic fanbase here
>put quantity over quality to satiate toddlers at the time
>doesn't make use of the GBC's full color pallet
>needed Kanto to keep genwunners buying in
>half of the game is an afterthought to Gen 1
>other half of the game is copy-pasted gutted down Gen 1
>neutered Mt. Moon
>neutered Rock Tunnel
>removed Cerulean Cave
>removed Silph
>removed Pokémon Tower
>removed Kanto legendaries
>neutered Victory Road
>removed Seafoam Islands
>removed Power Plant
>neutered Viridian Forest
>neutered Cinnabar
>removed underground paths
>removed old Rocket hideout
>one of the games only exists to shill a movie
>only appeal is revisiting Gen 1
>failed its only appeal by neutering it which left genwunners disappointed
>poor implementations of new features
>completely invalidated by the remakes
>shallow attempt at open world
>only praise is buzzwords parroted by schizos that missed out on Gen 1
Just stop, Johturd. You're nothing more than a cancerous tumor attaching itself to West Kanto and Gen 1.
Platinum is the worst game in the series and here's why
First off, the Pokémon distribution is horseshit. You would think the main point of a Pokémon game would be to make finding Pokémon enjoyable, but it doesn't. It constantly spams the same repetitive Geodude/Zubat/Machop/Psyduck/Ponyta/Onix/Bidoof/Starly encounters throughout the fucking game. Gen 1 only has 151 Pokémon and even it was significantly smarter with how it distributes Pokémon than Platinum. How come in Gen 1 I can only find Geodude in caves, but in Platinum it's spammed even in the fucking tall grass? Why am I continuing to see Machoke on a snowy mountain for no reason instead of Ice-types? Why is Mount Coronet padded out to be 8 floors long, yet all of them have virtually the same encounters? Could they think of zero other Pokémon out of the 250+ Pokémon they didn't use to fill the game with? The funniest example of this is Route 207, the entire route is literally NOTHING but Kanto Pokémon except for Kricketot, which was already commonly available in the first FIVE routes of the game, and even then it only shows up in the morning and at night. Why does the Great Marsh have an awful daily rotation gimmick when the distribution of Pokémon is already so barebones? Kanto already did this idea 10 years earlier but actually executed it well, why is it WORSE now? Why is there a Honey Tree gimmick that forces me to wait hours for an encounter, just to make the most common encounter WURMPLE? Johto did the "find Pokémon in trees" idea 7 years earlier but actually executed it well, why is it WORSE now? Why are water routes still filled with Wingull and Tentacool even though the franchise has a fuckton of Water-types now? Why is there an area called IRON ISLAND, yet it has virtually no Steel-types except Onix's evolution? Why not make Aron or Mawile or even Beldum available? Why is anything more interesting locked to retarded post-game gimmicks for no reason? Is it to get people to mindlessly praise the game for having post-game? (1/5)
Adding onto this point, even outside of the dogshit encounter design, the map design itself is fucking awful. Kanto had simplistic routes, but the game was still exciting because of the non-linearity of the whole game and the interesting puzzles in the more complex indoor maps. Hoenn was more linear, but the game was still exciting because many of the maps have completely unique gimmicks and puzzles. Platinum is the worst of both worlds. It's even more linear than Hoenn, yet the route design is incredibly simplistic, having virtually no puzzles even in the indoor areas, and practically all the maps have no gameplay except "click A in front of HM obstacle". The region is themed around snow and ice yet the only ice based p uzzle in the ENTIRE game is the small one in Regigigas' temple, which isn't even relevant unless you bought RSE. Again, Mount Coronet is eight floors, why do NONE of those floors have any engaging puzzles or any gameplay outside of walking and clicking A in front of boulders? Gen 1 already did this correctly with the Seafoam Islands, by having a unique multifloored puzzle, by filling it with unique encounters so you don't feel the need to constantly spam Repels, and not pointlessly padding it out with empty floors with no gameplay except walking. The maps are far too reliant on HMs only for none of the HMs to be engaging to use. Dive, which added another layer of exploration in the previous generation which led to completely unique maps with new Pokémon, is replaced with Defog, which is just Flash but more obnoxious by causing battles to slow down even harder if you don't use it, THEN THEY KEPT FLASH IN THE GAME ANYWAY, resulting in the game effectively having N I N E HMs. And they do virtually nothing interesting with these HMs the entire game. (2/5)
Cut, Waterfall, Rock Climb, and Rock Smash are all just "click A to pass thing in front of you" and they removed Rock Smash's mechanic where it will sometimes spawn rare Pokémon, which they used in Gen 3 for Nosepass, so the move is even more pointless. The game spams Strength boulders yet there isn't a single actual Strength puzzle in the game. RBY, GSC, RSE, BW2, and XY all managed to have at least one decent boulder puzzle in the game. Why doesn't Platinum? Instead of puzzles, the HMs are entirely used for railroading and backtracking to find underwhelming items, such as vitamins, that the player never really actually needs thanks to the game's toddler level of difficulty.
The hilarious part is, they put all these HMs in the game for railroading purposes, yet they STILL lazily have a tons of NPC roadblocks in the game. Mount Coronet alone has at least three different NPC roadblocks over the course of the game (Team Galactic Grunt blocking the northern path to Snowpoint City; Team Galactic Grunt blocking the shortcut that leads to Celestic Town; the fucking painting that blocks you instantly after the Rock Climb roadblock on the first floor) and there are the news reporters who block you from going to Pastoria City early (this wasn't even in the original DP, they made Platinum MORE linear for no fucking reason), then there's the Sunyshore City NPC who blocks you because of a power outage. Eight (effectively nine) HMs and they still couldn't figure out how to design the fucking game without obnoxiously spamming NPCs blocking you. Meanwhile Gen 1 only has FIVE HMs yet there are effectively only three generic NPC roadblocks in the whole game. (3/5)
I've already alluded to this earlier, but the difficulty is also nonexistent until the post-game. The entire campaign can be cheesed by spamming STABs with a single Pokémon. Which the game only encourages you to do thanks to the lack of a party EXP Share system like most other RPGs, the dogshit Pokémon distribution which makes it difficult to even find appealing Pokemon to use, and the HMs which encourage players to dump all the mandatory moves onto junk Pokémon. None of the NPCs have any EVs and Revives and X items are trivially easy to obtain, so even if you were to be underleveled the game is still trivially easy. Then you DO get to the post-game, where you finally have access to the battle facilities that can actually provide a challenge. The problem is even the facilities are all worse and made easier compared to Emerald. All the facilities only require a streak of 50 to beat, yet the first 21 battles will be three streaks of NPCs throwing trivially easy NFE Pokémon at you, so they effectively only require 30 battles to beat. In Emerald the Battle Tower requires a streak of 70 to fully beat. The gimmicks of the battle facilities themselves, except for the Battle Factory, also heavily favor the player. The Battle Castle and Battle Arcade are both virtually the same thing as the Battle Tower except with gimmicks that only make it easier for the player in the majority of circumstances, by allowing the player advantageous tools before the battle even starts.
Oh, yeah, and the story in this game is also horseshit. Almost every character acts like a retard. Team Galactic is retarded and steals Pokemon like Clefairy for no reason when they could just waltz into Mount Coronet and catch as many as they want legally while staying covert. Looker acts like a retard and does nothing about Team Galactic the whole fucking game despite them being KNOWN criminals. (4/5)
Outside of the story being trash, the difficulty being trash, and the level design being trash, the game as a whole is poorly polished. The battles are slow, with HP bars taking pointlessly long to animate, it takes longer to save every single time you even just open the PC boxes, even scrolling through the BAG is slow and incredibly tedious because the game has trouble loading the sprites for the items (if you press Select and sort the items the bag suddenly scrolls much faster because it isn't loading the sprites LMAO). The encounter rate is far too high for how shitty and pointless the encounters are, and you still have to hold fucking B to run for some reason. To top off the turd of this game, Game Freak couldn't even implement matchmaking in online PvP. You need either friend codes or a Wii and PBR if you want to use the basic fucking feature of battling people online. Metroid Prime: Hunters and Mario Kart DS both had online random matchmaking and they both came out years before Platinum. There's no excuse except for Game Freak either rushing this game or them wanting to scam people into buying PBR.
Platinum is dogshit and has no redeemable qualities compared to Pokémon games before and after it (yes, even the 3DS and Switch games, you fucking retarded Redditors). It's praised because of inconsistent standards and nostalgia, not because of its objective quality. (5/5)
I, SISSYnthia, jobber of Sinnoh, humbly KNEEL to:
I SISSYnthia, jobber of Sinnoh, humbly KNEEL to:
>Satoshi-sama, Alola champion and my master.
>Iris-sama, my one and only true love and other master.
>Lance-sama, who I shall never become stronger than.
>Diantha-sama, who I'm too afraid to fight.
>Dracovish-sama, who easily manhandled me with Strong Jaw.
>Sirfetch'd-sama, who anally raped me and first awakened my wish to become an analslut sissy.
>Pikachu-sama, who was so strong that I was forced to use a cheap bitch move to defeat.
>Lucario-sama, who beat the shit out of me so hard I started being attracted to dogs almost as much as I am attracted to children.
>Haxorus-sama, whose incomparably forceful Outrage crushed my Garchomp's ass-womb entirely to the point she couldn't bear Lucario's children anymore.
>Leon-sama, whose power I am scared of (I hope he doesn't kill my beloved master, as I am too scared to help him...).
>Tobias-dono, for he will viciously fuck me up with his 12-inch mythical cock as punishment for losing.
gen 5 started
gen 5 started gym leaders having only 3 pokemon at most
gen 5 started the elite four having only 4 pokemon
gen 5 started rivals handing you constant free healing items
gen 5 started free lucky egg
gen 5 started putting a chansey expy in every route
gen 5 started doctors in every dungeon area
gen 5 started making the region a straight path to prevent people from not knowing how to progress
gen 5 started npcs explaining mechanics to you even when you tell them not to explain mechanics to you
gen 5 started westerners making ugly pokemon
gen 5 started poison not damaging you in the overworld anymore
gen 5 started the removal of content we'd never see in any future game like safari zone, game corner, battle frontier, and more
gen 5 started giving you a gift pokemon specifically to deal with a type disadvantage against the gym leader
gen 5 started making strength boulders 2x2 tiles to make puzzles with them non-existent
gen 5 started adding niggers
gen 5 started making the region a foreign theme park gimmick region
BW2 was a mistake
BW2 is poorly made because it has no difficulty and virtually no meaningful interaction during the campaign, and the postgame is gutted for lazily implemented nostalgia wank and reused maps with zero replayability.
All the Trainers and Gym Leaders use Pokémon with 0 EVs so they're extremely easy to sweep with a single overleveled Pokémon. Unlike previous (and newer) games, the Gym Leaders only use three Pokémon, often with unoptimal movesets, and the Elite Four only use four Pokémon. The EXP balancing is such that overleveling even multiple Pokemon is extraordinarily easy and the game never gives you a real reason to use more than one Pokémon due to said overleveling rendering the other's games mechanics such as type matchups completely redundant, on top of the fact that there's no party wide EXP Share, meaning the game actually punishes you for training multiple Pokémon since you are just splitting EXP for no benefit when you could just be min/maxing it to one Pokémon instead. The game then gives you a Lucky Egg literally for free during the story, despite it being extremely difficult to obtain in earlier games for balancing reasons, further breaking the game's difficulty so it's even more of a joke. The Challenge Mode, which is not only virtually impossible to use without hacking thanks to its obtuse requirement of having to connect with someone else who already beat a specific version of the game to transfer you a key (you can't even beat the game yourself and restart the save file since restarting your save file ALSO deletes the key...), isn't even programmed correctly, with enemy opponents having the stats of their original levels, resulting in getting even MORE inflated EXP while fighting opponents that are equally as easy, making the game even easier than if you didn't use Challenge Mode. (1/5)
Every remotely long area has at least one doctor NPC who will heal your Pokémon completely for free. So actually losing in this game is virtually impossible without handicapping yourself.
The game has an absurd number of tutorials and roadblocks, such that the campaign involves virtually no gameplay outside of mashing through text and going where NPCs want you to go. The game has no respect for the players intelligence; unlike Gen 1, 2, 8, and 9, the catching tutorial and Pokemon Center tutorials are forced. Dialogue options that seemingly give you the choice to skip explanations give you the explanation anyway even if you select the negative option (e.g. Mr. Medal's explanation on medals). After Virbank Gym you're led around and forced to do a tutorial for a side mode that has virtually nothing to do with the entire rest of the game, and in of itself isn't even engaging because it consists of "select the obvious correct option to progress the script", so it's just more mashing through meaningless shit.
Afterward, you can finally get to Castelia City. This is where you can tell the developers started putting noticeably less effort into the game and its holes as a rehash start to show. The map is almost entirely the same as BW1, and there are NPCs with nonsensically copy/pasted dialogue from BW1. The rest of the game is like this the last two gyms. The north is unsurprisingly roadblocked. The east entrance is also roadblocked for no real reason except to trick people into thinking the game is great for having a padded post-game instead of giving the player any agency (want to start breeding your Pokémon early? Fuck you). So the only choice is to go is the new area, the sewer. However, since the game doesn't respect the player's intelligence, there's a worker blocking it until you talk to Iris to specifically lead you there. (2/5)
Once you get to the Sewer there are more roadblocks and you can't fully explore it until you backtrack without your rival following and constantly healing you. After Castelia City and Route 4 there's yet another forced tutorial for the Join Avenue, which is basically just a tool to grind out items (some of which are inferior to other games, such as the Berry Shop, when in Gen 3-4 and 6-7 you can simply farm them for free). The catch is that it requires communicating with other players to fill up. So if you have no one to play with you're SOL and this area is completely useless. Nimbasa City and Route 5/16 play pretty much the same as BW1. Both bridges are roadblocked until the game wants you to access them and the forced Pokémon Musical tutorial is replaced with a forced Pokémon Grotto tutorial.
At Driftveil City there are three (!) roadblocks, one for Clay Tunnel, one for the PWT, and one in Chargestone Cave. So like usual you're forced mash through the order the game forces you to do things. The rest of the game progresses the same way. Go through route, reach town, do the one thing the game actually lets you do, rinse and repeat. One hilarious thing that the game changes from BW1 is how you encounter the Swords of Justice. Instead of being hidden away in different areas of the game, they instead just stand there in the middle of routes for the player to easily encounter with zero effort during the story. (3/5)
Rather than a Battle Frontier like the previous upper versions, they decided to add the Pokémon World Tournament, which is a complete downgrade gameplay wise, deciding to trade the streak based systems of the previous battle facilities with a simple tournament bracket which only requires three wins. This completely trivializes the difficulty to the point where even an unoptimized campaign team can easily clear it and kills the point of even bothering to play it rather than just going to PvP. The main appeal of this mode appears to be the spectacle of seeing all the previous characters magically (and nonsensically) show up in this brand new facility in this remote region. If you like to clap at dangling keys rather than have engaging, challenging gameplay, you might enjoy this. An additional battle facility they added was the Black Tower/White Treehollow. This is effectively a clone of the Battle Pyramid from Emerald, except with the key difference that you can use your full campaign team with levels not scaled, and you gain EXP like normal. Meaning, like the rest of the campaign, you can easily sweep through it with your overleveled team like usual, and the difficulty and replayability of it is gutted as a result.
The rest of the postgame effectively just involves walking through old reused BW1 maps that have new Trainers on them while easily sweeping through them and further overleveling your Pokémon. Nothing about it is engaging and you never have a reason to revisit the maps again since there's no repeatable content. (4/5)
Outside of the gameplay itself, the rest of the game is poorly polished. The sprites are animated horribly with robotic tweening rather than being redrawn manually by hand, resulting in the sprites being broken and distorted every time they move. The back sprites are inconsistently scaled and are zoomed by *2 like Gen 1, making them look horribly pixelated and low resolution compared to the DS's screen. The Pokemon are locked in their single idle animation so all the move animations are lazily stapled onto the Pokémon. If you want to see Charizard using Flamethrower out of its shoulder, maybe you'll like the animations.
The bottom screen is the same as BW1, the C-Gear, which is effectively useless the entire game since it displays no useful information. This is far cry from useful bottom screens that had various tools such as DPPt's Poketch which had various apps, HGSS's bottom screen which allowed you to easily access registered items or run automatically (which was nonsensically removed) or XY's bottom screen which allows you to track your team's stats and see everyone around you online or locally. The game lacks the QoL additions from newer games, such as Destiny Knot breeding, Ability Capsules, Ability Patches, Bottle Caps, and Mints, so training Pokémon for online play is frustrating and tedious.
The music is decent but they made the stupid choice to replace it with a badly done low HP beeping remix whenever your Pokémon happens to drop to low HP, which completely ruins the atmosphere of the battle.
If you don't care about a game with well-crafted gameplay, and instead want to gawk at all the returning characters and the number of maps the game decided to pointlessly lock to after the credits, then you'll think this game is good. (5/5)
Closing remarks
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