Soyrooms
This page is a gem.
Soyrooms are a number of unexplored, mysterious locations which are supposedly populated by strange and monstrous types of soyjak entities.
While there are a few ways to noclip into the soyrooms, I’m going to tell you the most reliable way of noclipping into the soyrooms.
First you have to get to page 21 on the catalog of /soy/, but wait, there is no page 21 you say? The catalog ends at page 20. Well you're right, sort of…
You see sometimes at odd hours of the day, if you're lucky and patient enough, it will appear; the “next” button that’s normally blued out will be silver again. If you click it, it will take you to “page 21” of the catalog.
Now when you’re on page 21 don’t click out, because you might not get the chance to get back to page 21 for a very long time, if ever. You will notice that this page doesn’t look any different than the other pages, it will be filled with old ‘jak threads, just like page 20. But if you scroll down to the bottom you will notice something peculiar, it will be a picture similar to pic related: a room or hallways with yellow wallpaper and fluorescent lights, sometimes with a random ‘jak overlaid, sometimes not.
The picture it self will have some generic filename, like “clipboard.png.” Click the thumbnail and enter the thread. One thing you’ll notice is the thread is locked, and there are no replies. This means you're in the right thread. Grab the OP image and save it to your desktop, then when you’re ready to enter the soyrooms, open the image on your desktop.
They’ll be a sudden gust of when like as if you’re falling and it will be pitch black, this sensation will last only a matter of seconds until suddenly you’ll find yourself in a set of similar looking rooms and hallways to that of the image you saved to your desktop. Welcome to the soyrooms, level 1.
The Soyrooms, Level 1
Level 1 is the simplest and safest of the soyrooms, it is comprised of a series of seemingly endless empty hallways and rooms decorated with yellow wallpaper illuminated by old buzzing fluorescent lights, the floor is covered in an old scratchy green carpet. There is sparse decoration to be found on this level, although occasionally random furniture and containers can be found at random, in addition to framed pictures of soyjaks lining the walls.
Inside the containers there will usually be just random items, some useful, some not, but it is possible to find rare and valuable items such as Soylent, Sproke, Nintendo merchandise, Gems, and Coal in theses containers. Soylent and Sproke are packaged drinks and can be consumed or traded for other items. Gems are exceptionally rare and highly valued by all in the soyrooms, while coal is general considered to be undesirable except in the deeper levels of the soyrooms.
The Level 1 space itself is very large, if not infinite. You can walk for hours without discovering anything significant. Though if you are persistent enough you might manage to come across a random roaming soyjaks in this level.
The soyjaks encountered in this level are almost always neutral or friendly, they are always standard human “soyboy” variants and can be found playing Nintendo switch and drinking soylent. You can talk to and trade items with the said creatures, as they sometimes have useful stuff they are willing to trade.
Outside of the occasional soyjak, there’s not many other beings wandering on this level. There have been instances where travelers have encountered lesser fingerboys, while lesser fingerboys aren’t overly aggressive they can be territorial and have been known to attack wanders if provoked. Luckily they are the smallest and weakest of fingerboys and can be dispatched or scared off if encountered. They also have an inherent weakness to sprokes.
When you are ready to ascend to the next level seek out a door, these doors may vary a little but they’ll generally all look the same: an old brown painted wood door. Some of them will be locked, others will be missing handles, and some will be intact and unlocked. proceed through one of the doors to enter Level 2. Alternatively, if you find a rare blue metal industrial door, theses can be entered to access Level 3
The Soyrooms, Level 2
Level 2 consists of a series of nonlinear hallways and rooms in a manner similar to an art museum, occasional framed and painted images of soyjaks can be found on the walls similar too Level 1 but much more frequently. The soyjaks pictures found on this level are more varied then in level 1, they include more abstract depictions of ‘jaks, such as ragejaks, schizojaks and sometimes colorjaks.
Much like in level 1, the furniture and containers are uncommon but can be found at random, the hallways here also seem to go on for infinity. Friendly soyjaks can be found wandering the halls much like in level 1, but they may also be accompanied by wholesomejaks and Swedejaks, who, when asked what they are doing here, simply respond with “visiting the museum”.
Unlike in level 1 the lighting in level 2 is inconsistent, some areas my be darker than others, and as a general rule of thumb, try to avoid darker lit rooms. Lesser fingerboys are known to wander more frequently in these parts, sometimes in packs of 2 or 3. They are territorial much like in level one but their increased numbers make them slightly more of a threat so tread with caution.
Other residents of the darker region include feraljaks, they are generally unfriendly and will attempt to convince you to “eat the bugs” and they themselves can often be found snacking on various insects found scurrying around the floors and walls. Thought they are generally non-violent some wanders have reported being attacked by feraljaks on occasion, so watch yourself around them.
If you find yourself interning an area with an increasing number of disturbing or deformed jaks it is recommended that you turn around and proceed to another area, as some wanders have reported strange anomalies occurring in these areas, such as hearing strange voices or seeing unsettling images reminiscent of schizo and feraljaks off in the distance. There are also rumors of something that lives somewhere in one of the darker rooms that causes wanders to go insane and turn schizo, but it is unknown if this is a myth or not.
If you are ready to venture deeper into they soyrooms, seek out a blue metal door, theses will sometimes be locked so you may have to find a key that fits or pick the lock if you are able, these doors will take you to Level 3. Alternatively, if you wish to return to level 1, seek out brown wooded doors, they will take you back to level 1. On rare occasions you can find large concrete pipes sticking out of the wall seemingly at random, while not always large enough to fit into it is possible to find ones that are large enough for you to crawl into. Theses pipes will take you to Level 4.
The Soyrooms, Level 3
Level 3 resembles an old dimly lit underground subway station that appear to be in a state of disrepair and disuse. The subway tunnel seem to stretch on for miles in between terminals, graffiti of soyjaks can be found painted on the walls.
Wile many terminals are abandoned, some are know to house small colonies of Norwegian Soyjaks or Soyboys/jaks. Theses colonies can be used as safe spaces to rest and trade while exploring the level. Other “homeless” jaks are known to sleep in large bedsheets on walkway and tracks between terminals, they are generally non hostile and with whom can be traded.
In comparison to level one and two, level three has much more risks exploring, there are know to be packs of 3 to 5 lesser fingerboys, usually accompanied by an adult fingerboy patrolling the subway tunnels. They make their nests in the maintenance corridor and access tunnel between thermals, where there are known to be colonies of up to 5 to 10 lesser and adult fingerboys. It is recommended to avoid these areas unless sufficiently equipped to deal with them.
Another threat known to wander the tunnels of level 3 are Benedict Cumberjaks, who are known to speak in a cockney British accent and harass travelers by insulting them in almost unintelligible English and even attacks them with knives and clubs they call “bleeders”. They are know to attack and harass the various soyboys and Norwegians inhabitants from time to time.
If you wish to proceed further you will need to seek out large concrete pipes that are know to appear in the maintenance tunnels were fingerboys are know to make there nests, crawling through one of theses larger pipes will take you to Level 4. Alternatively, if you wish to return to level 2 seek out a blue metal door like the kind you used to access level 3. Brown wooden door that will take you back to level 1 can be found rarely on this level as well.
The Soyrooms, Level 4
Level 4 resembles a series of large cisterns connected to one another by large concrete and metal floodgates, theses cisterns can vary in size from several hundred yards to several miles in size. Each cistern is known to have varying levels of fluid, and the volume is known to change over time, sometimes very slowly by trickle we’re very rapidly by a sudden flash flood.
Consistency of the fluid in the cisterns varies, but is usually either Soylent, Sproke or a mix of the two. However some cisterns are know to contain a strange viscous white fluid of unknown origin, consuming this liquid is believed to cause adverse effects.
There are no known humanoid soyjak inhabitants of level 4, that being said level 4 is home to a large number of colonies of ratjaks and crabjaks. Theses critters are are generally neutral but can sometimes be friendly or hostile depending on the group. There is also a number of lesser deformedjaks that are known to roam the level, often attacking wanders carrying gems while ignoring wanders caring coal. Adult fingerboys are know to roam the level, but not in as large of numbers as previous levels due in part to the high concentrations of Sproke on this level.
Finding an exit from this level can be quite tricky at times, as the pipes that are used to enter level 4 are few and far between. The known entrance to level 5 is can be found on the upper walkways of some cisterns, theses walkways are hard to access as they are high up and there are no stairs or ladders up to them. A set of glass sliding doors are known to appear sometimes on theses walkways that will take you to Level 5.
The Soyrooms, Level 5
"Abandoned Soylent Factory"
Level 5 is a hollow and empty soylent factory that once used to be a prosperous quarter of every soyjak's favorite soy drink, Soylent. The surroundings of the factory are very old, neglected and overgrown with newly sprung greenery as well as rusted and broken machines, vehicles and other industrial objects. The factory is known to be divided into four wings and an underground zone beneath it. The first wing being main production quarter, where the majority of other travelling native soyjaks usually dwell with whom you can trade and talk. The second wing is more oriented in storing the old soylent packages, most of it is desolate and blocked by rubble of fallen walls. The third wing is the brewery where once soylent was made and poured into bottles. Besides a lot of conveyor belts, rusted cisterns and dusted machinery, few native soyjaks reported to have found a lot of treasures in this area. The fourth and final wing is a massive parking lot for the factory vehicles and suppliers that are long gone. There also appears to be a huge crater-like hole in the middle of it. Going through it leads to the underground zone of the factory that isn't accessible by any other means, those darkened halls and tunnels are extremely dangerous. Rumor has it that this exact factory was once owned by infamous Dr. Sprokeberg for his experiments with his well known drink "Sproke", after numerous failures Sprokeberg gave up and shut down the factory due to unknown circumstances before he fully dedicated to his job at the Mental Asylum. Many soyjaks who went below never came back, and those who did ever became feral or killed themselves. Few travelers managed to get pictures and video footage of their expeditions below and discovered a series of massive Fingerboy nestings and extremely hostile Feral-soyjak groups. One traveler was unfortunate enough to witness a brawl between Feraljaks brutally annihilating a major nest occupied by lesser fingerboys, little did the Feraljaks knew, there was something else far deadlier than them, the Fingerboy Patriarch that just returned to his home only to find it decorated with the smashed corpses of her children.
In order to proceed to Level 6, you will need to travel underground where Fingerboy nestings and violent Feraljaks hunt and look for a green colored Manhole. It is known to be inside a large hallway between two smashed doors, keep in mind that entire area is surrounded by darkness and that you will need a lot of caution to find it.
The Soyrooms, Level 6
"Plierpeak Mountaintop Village"
Level 6 is a small mountain village that's usually covered under a thick blanket of snow. The village in itself isn't largely populated and it becomes fairly more active during noon. There aren't many places nearby it besides the backwoods, a large cemetery atop the hill and small goods trading market. This zone's main strange inhabitants are Skeletons with soyjak appearance. These creatures are rather friendly and welcoming, yet sorrowful at the same time. They seem to be aware that they are no longer alive, but that fact doesn't seem to stop them enjoying their time in wintry village. It is currently unknown as to why undead soyjaks in this place are reanimated and roaming free with little to no restraints. One resident of the village also known as the Gravedigger, explains that these skelejaks are "lost" and that this place is somewhat of their purgatory, where the await their turn upon judgement day. He also seems to take up a role of a caretaker towards these skelejaks, he brings them occassional Soylent, Sproke or Bugs to chew on, despite them being dead and being unable to fully enjoy these things, they appreciate his thoughtfulness. As the name of the village implies, Skelejaks and other residents of this place are very fond of the Markiplier Soyjak. The full history of this connection is blurry, although the Gravedigger shares stories in regards to it. In the large cemetery stands an enormous stone statue of the Markiplier Soyjak, dressed in royal attire and holding a gigantic gem. Folklore has it that the gym held by the statue is infused with the soul of the 'Plier Soyjak who has found and built this village and saved countless other Soyjaks from relentless winter and wildlife of this area. A lot of alive soyjak natives and human travelers say that this undead community is well civilized and behaved. The grim forests also called "Backwoods" by the townsfolk that appear further away behind the village are deeply dreaded by skelejaks and Gravedigger. It's strictly off-limits to the Skelejaks as well as other Soyjaks that wish to wander into it, there's a large iron gate preventing access to it and usually a couple of patrolling and armed Skelejaks. Many of the Skelejak residents claim to have seen and heard many strange soy creatures coming from these woods. Few reports from native Soyjaks that dwell in the market square show that Skelejaks are also afraid to speak about the "Horrors" of the backwoods. There have been no life threatening encounters inside that the local Soyjak community is aware of, quite the opposite, the only creatures that occupy those lands are lesser Fingerboys and Soyblins which can only cause minor mischief, like knocking over trashcans, stealing Soylent, Sproke or Gems. Soyblins are small and miniscule one-eyed gapejak-like creatures that run around the trees in the backwoods, they're known to slip past the iron fence sometimes and roam the village, despite that they aren't hostile nor dangerous. Even then, after marking all this information down and trying to discuss this topic with few local Skelejaks they refused. The only soyjak that gave us some information about these "Horrors" is the Gravedigger, who stated at these abominations appear only during night-time and that they are the reason why he distributes armed Skelejaks to guard that area at all times. He also claimed to have seen a group of humans making a group expedition into these woods during night, only to have found their belongings and blood the next day during day time. One Skelejak has also reported seeing strange symbols engraved onto the trees in the backwoods, it is unknown what symbolism or shape these engraving are supposed to have. General majority of normal Soyjaks that stay in the village spend their day trading and buying common things or rare and valueable treasures in the village market.
To find the exit from Level 6 you will need to ask the village merchants regarding a silver, skeleton-shaped key that is purchaseable from a handful of travelers. It can be considered a tedious and menial task, but plenty of other Soyjaks have bought it from a single merchant that makes these keys. If his demands are met, he will give you the key, so try to bargain with him for Soylent or perhaps a Gem or two. After obtaining the key, head towards the Markiplier Soyjak statue found in the cemetery, look behind it and you'll see a small key hole below his pedestal. Insert the key and the statue will slowly move left, uncovering a hidden passage below.
The Soyrooms, Level Ϫ
There is NO level between 6 and 7 labeled "thrembo." Level Thrembo does not exist. Take your meds.
The Soyrooms, Level 7
"Cirque du Soyleil"
After descending into the passage under the statue you will enter a dark tunnel. After a few minutes of walking through the darkness you will begin to hear carnival music and a familiar scent of popcorn will reach your nostrils. A massive circus building awaits at the other end of the passage. It’s a giant maze of wooden and plastic hallways connecting circus tents. In lesser tents you’ll find wending machines and all kinds of circus games. You can gamble your gems in an attempt to increase your collection or spend them on Sproke and Soylent. Wandering around you can catch glimpses of performers, but they always leave the room as soon as you enter it. Hallways and mostly empty lesser tents seam to be winding forever, but no matter how far you go, you will always end up near one of the two unique rooms.
First one is the main arena. You will hear various noises coming from this giant tent, people cheering, animals roaring, cannons shooting and all kinds of other circus wonders, however every time you enter this tent, the arena will be empty. Occasionally you might spot another patron sitting on a balcony far above. Nobody was ever able to find an entrance to those upper levels, nor were they able to get a good look at a patron’s face.
Second unique room is the hall of mirrors. This part of the circus is the only place when the music stops. Winding corridor decorated with mirrors on both sides is significantly darker than the other parts of the circus. You'll see that distorted and threatening faces of soyjak start appearing in the mirrors. Rumour has it, that those mirror soyjaks will attempt to pull you in and trap you in the mirror with them.
This dangerous part of the level has to be traversed in order to get to the lower levels. In order to get down, you’ll have to find a randomly appearing reflection of a door in one of the mirrors. You have to open it while looking at it in the mirror, otherwise it will disappear.
The Soyrooms Level 8
"The Kweyduke Mine"
Walking further and leaving the twisted circus behind, you'll enter dank and darkened caverns. Marching further down the rocky corridor you'll see a wooden gate-like entrance, next to it stands a sign reading "Kweyduke Mine". Embarking into the mine will immidiately force to way you got inside it to be destroyed by rocks and rubble, leaving you trapped inside it with no way out besides exploring further this mineshafter labirynth. This level is reported to be extremely deadly and hazardous. The premise of this place is nothing but fool's gold. Many native Soyjaks whom you have met on previous levels lost their lives in search of a fortune that supposedly dwells in the very core of this mine. Of course those are just legends, not a single Human explorer or Soyjak has ever made it out alive with that treasure in hands. The origins of how this "treasure" was discovered is currently unknown, some speculate that it's long forgotten bounty that once belonged to Soot himself. The layout of the mines is extremely hard to navigate through a lot of paths can can lead to a dead-end, hazardous traps or worse. Inside these solidified hallways there is but only one safe-haven. After entering the mines and going north-west for about 30 minutes you'll notice a dim light at the end. It's a Tavern, made specifically by other Native Soyjaks that managed to survive and thrive in these dusty caverns. Here you can purchase, trade, eat, sleep and talk to other Native Soyjaks and Soyjak merchants. Many explorers and native Soyjaks that decide to enter this mine are well equipped in exploring zones like these, if you're underprepared or lacking vital materials or resources there's a lost and found crate far left to the entrance of the bar. You could always buy some from the Innkeeper or other native Soyjaks in exchange for Soylent. Besides the fable of Soot's burrowed riches, plaethora of Soyjak merchants risk their life and limb to excavate very rare and valueable Gems. These Gems can only be found in the far lower zones of the mine. Hardly any explorers or native Soyjaks managed to find any Gems in upper levels. Of course only those with devil's luck got out of the pit levels of the mine alive. The further you descend the more threatening will your surroundings become. There have been reports of encountering and killing adult and lesser Fingerboys. Fingerboy spines are said to be rather attractive for the Tavern's merchants. Be wary, killing too many Fingerboys might bring unwanted attention. Apart from Fingerboys, there are told to be far more wretched creatures nesting in this abyss. A now deranged and Feral Fatjak that managed to get to almost pit level of the mine reported a monster fitting in appearence to that of a regular Feraljak...except something was off. It kept twitching, it's skin was extremely bulgy, covered in spots of hair, bumps, buldges, and spike-like growths were visible on it's back. When it stood up, Fatjak started screaming and running for his life while screaming "Praise Fauci!". It's eyes were perpendicularly placed, it had no lower teeth and it kept producing some strange puss and liquid from it's upper teeth. After Fatjak's terrified scream the creature turned back and unleashed a horrid and ear piercing screech, proceeding to crawl after the Fatjak. The abomination that Fatjak described had insect like appendages and ran on all fours. It had only legs similar to that of a spider. Whatever it was, it sure made to give Fatjak eternal nightmares.
In order to escape the mine you'll need to travel deep down into lower levels. It's said that the exit appears about two levels above the pit level. When you reach that zone, you'll notice the path ahead being zig-zag like, proceed moving in same fashion until at the very end you'll notice a rusted elevator. Pressing the up button will force the elevator to open it's rusted maw and take you to level 9.
The Soyrooms Level 9
"The Great IKEA"
When the rusted elevator reaches its destination and the heavy iron door open you will be greeted by the interior of a typical Ikea. However, this complex is far bigger than any of those Swedish stores you’ve ever been to. Buzzing lamps cast light upon endless rows of building supplies, furniture and other home & garden appliances.
Most of the level is entirely desolate. You’ll often wander for hours before encountering another native 'jak. However, when you do encounter something it will usually be in a group.
The faction thriving in the endless rows of the store are the Swedes. Those tribes of impishjaks aren’t particularly dangerous in a vacuum, but their numbers and home turf advantage can make them formidable opponents. If one wishes to avoid confrontation it’s easier to do so with a tribute. Loudly saying “Swedish win” will usually get you on the good side of the Swedish folk.
2nd group you might encounter are the exiles. Those soyjaks, unable to outcompete the Swedjaks, were pushed out of the best sections of the store into the parts where the shelfs have been emptied long time ago. Norwegians have detected an opportunity laying within those broken and lost pariahs. Preaching anti-Swedish propaganda they work in shadows, preparing an uprising against the Swedish rule. If you don’t want any trouble with them, muttering “Swedish Fail” might make them take you for one of their own.
Outside of the few pockets of civilization, the store is mostly empty. A rare sub-species of fingerboy, impboy, can be found on this level. Those little nuisances often travel in large packs, infesting certain aisles. They lack strength, but will often try to push heavy objects off the top shelf so watch your head!
Impboys are far from the worst thing you can encounter on this level. Strange darkness lingers within the store. Locals don’t know much about it, but one thing they do know is that those who enter the darkness never leave it. If you ever see a strangely unlit hallway, turn back. If you see lights going out near you, run!
You’re able to find the elevator again and travel back to the mines, however if you wish to go deeper into the Soyrooms, I advise you to grab whatever tools you might need and find an "employee only" door. Behind it lies the entrence to the next level.
Let it be know that the Soyrooms are vast and largely unexplored, and if you’re feeling brave enough (or foolish enough) you can be the one to map out the unexplored levels of the Soyrooms. One only know what untold horrors may lie within the depths of the Soyrooms.
Leaving the Soyrooms
There is no currently known way to leave the Soyrooms. Some believe that taking meds may allow you to noclip back into the frontrooms, but this has never been tested.
In popular culture
Many popular found footage VHS videos and films have been made about the soyrooms.
