Sproke: Difference between revisions

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Oh, when it all (yeah)
{{Gem}}
It all falls down (this the real one, baby)
 
I'm tellin' you all (uh)
[[File:sprokeberg.png|200px|thumb|right|Dr. Sprokeberg presenting Sprite and Coke]]
It all falls down (Chi-Town, stand up)
'''Sproke''' is a delicious soft drink made simply by mixing together Sprite and Coca-Cola, and it is enjoyed by many [[Soyjak|soyjaks]] around the world. It is unknown when it was first invented, but it was popularized by [[Dr. Sprokeberg]] as a treat to calm down patients suffering from [[Schizophrenia|schizophrenic delusions]]. There have been reports that Sproke could worsen hallucinations in schizophrenics due to the mind-altering chemicals including cocaine present in the drink.<ref>https://archive.ph/gfltF</ref> This is peer reviewed.
Oh, when it all (Southside, Southside)
 
It all falls down (we gon' set this party off right)
 
I'm tellin' you all (Westside, Westside)
[[File:Sproke seething.png|200px|thumb|right|This image is probably a hoax.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210405085129/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/66078.html</ref>]]
It all falls down, oh, when it all (we gon' set this party off right)
[[File:SprokeAD.png|thumb|alt=Sproke ad|An advertisement for Sproke on /qa/]]
Man, I promise, she's so self-conscious
 
She has no idea what she doin' in college
<br><center><youtube>aQkk1lNMzHE</youtube></center>
That major that she majored in don't make no money
[[File:Reimu Coke and Sproke Soyak.png|thumb|Smug bastard]]
But she won't drop out, her parents'll look at her funny
<br>
Now, tell me that ain't insecurr
 
The concept of school seems so securr
<br><center>Possible footage of a young Dr. Sprokeberg advertising Sproke (video file from [[CIA]] archives).</center><br>
Sophomore, three yurrs, ain't picked a carurr
 
She like, "Fuck it, I'll just stay down hurr and do hair"
==Recipe==
'Cause that's enough money to buy her a few pairs
The official correct way to make Sproke, as confirmed by numerous peer-reviewed studies and independent fact checkers, is to mix the two components at a 1:1 Coke to Sprite ratio. Thoughever, in other parts of the world (particularly [[France]]), Different ratios, such as 60/40, may be preferred based on local tastes.<ref name=":0">https://web.archive.org/web/20210415095154/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/72076.html</ref>
Of new Airs, 'cause her baby daddy don't really care
 
She's so precious with the peer pressure
== Variants ==
Couldn't afford a car, so she named her daughter Alexis
Sproke variants are usually identified by the ratio of letters from "Sprite" and "Coke" in the name of the variant. Some common variants are listed below, in order of Sprite content.
She had hair so long that it looked like weave
 
Then she cut it all off, now she look like Eve
* Scoke: 20% Sprite, 80% Coke
And she be dealin' with some issues that you can't believe
* Soke: 25% Sprite, 75% Coke
Single black female addicted to retail, and well
* Spoke: 40% Sprite, 60% Coke<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210610033304/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/102116.html</ref>
Oh, when it all, it all falls down (uh)
* Sproke: 50% Sprite, 50% Coke
And when it falls down, who you gon' call now?
* Sprike: 60% Sprite, 40% Coke (also known as a Parisian Sproke)<ref name=":0" />
I'm tellin' you all (c'mon, c'mon)
* Cite: 75% Sprite, 25% Coke
It all falls down
* Crite: 80% Sprite, 20% Coke
And when it falls down, oh, when it all (and when it all falls down)
 
Man, I promise, I'm so self-conscious
== Sproke® Has No other Competitors besides Sperry® ==
That's why you always see me with at least one of my watches
 
Rollies and Pashas done drove me crazy
=== Dr. Fapper (this has been debunked by independent fact checkers) ===
I can't even pronounce nothin', pass that Ver-say-see
One very nassy and coally day, one soyteen posted a thread with the subject, "dubs decide what I'll do" Big Sproke's spies deemed this 'teen as [[Schizophrenia|schizo]], for posting such an inane topic, and saw this as an opportunity to medicate him. Throughout the course of the thread, they kept suggesting "SPROKE" and won the specified repeating digits multiple times.
Then I spent four hundred bucks on this
 
Just to be like, "Nigga, you ain't up on this"
To everyone's disapproval, the OP couldn't deliver on the request. Instead, he perverted it. He <s>used his mother's sodas</s> concocted a wicked "Dr. Fapper" Whether he drank this mixture is yet to be determined.(I did) What's known is that the OP though that Dr. Fapper was delicious and recommended it heartily to all soyteens. <s>The last comments he typed in the thread are as follows, "[[Ongezellig|MYMY]]YYYY HAAANBBNNDSDDS SARE TYUYTRNIMG POURPLEWEE" and "HHEHRELLPPPL MNEEEEEE" That was the last time he was ever heard from.</s> I am OP, this did not happen, I am alive and well.
And I can't even go to the grocery store
 
Without some Ones that's clean and a shirt with a team
<s>Dr Fapper is currently being investigated and tested to use as a neurotoxin.</s> '''<big>MEDS</big>''' Many 'teens have sung Dr. Fapper's praises, but most Dr. Fapper fans have been killed or silenced by [[Big Sproke|Big Sproke.]] This has led to Dr. Fapper's quasi-death on /soy/. <s>I still recommend that you try it. Big Sproke will call me a shill, spammer, and discord, but they cannot take away Dr. Fapper's delicious flavor and refreshing taste.</s> [[Jews|'''<big>SILENCE SCHIZO</big>''' Dr. Sprokenstein recommends that anyone talking about this "Dr. Fapper" gets reported to the proper authorities so they can be detained and get the proper treatment. If you suspect any plans of domestic terrorism from a "Dr. Fapper" extremist, please report them to the Department of Soyland Security. They will handle the situation with extreme prejudice and firepower.]]
It seem we livin' the American Dream
 
But the people highest up got the lowest self-esteem
==Ongoing /qa/ shilling campaign==
The prettiest people do the ugliest things
On various image boards such as 4chan's /qa/ and soyjak.party's /soy/, there is an ongoing coordinated spam effort perpetrated by ((([[Big Sproke]]))) employees to promote the deadly chemical cocktail that is Sproke.
For the road to riches and diamond rings
 
We shine because they hate us, floss 'cause they degrade us
== Thus Sproke Zarathustra ==
We tryna buy back our 40 acres
[[File:Thus Sproke Zarathustra Cover.png|thumb|Front cover of the critically acclaimed book]]
And for that paper, look how low we'll stoop
''Thus Sproke Zarathustra'', also known as ''Also Sproch Zarathustra'' in German, is a A24 coming-of-age book written by the [[Hitler|German]] [[Shit Nobody Cares About|philosopher]]  Friedrich Nietzsche. It's one of [[Chudjak|Chud's]] favorite books.[[File:Bigsproke.jpg|thumb|Gee, I wonder who could be behind this post...]]
Even if you in a Benz, you still a nigga in a coupe
 
Oh, when it all (c'mon, c'mon)
==List of Sproke merchants==
It all falls down (and when it falls down, who you gon' call now?)
*[[Dr. Sprokeberg]]
I'm tellin' you all (come on, come on)
*[[Morshu]]
It all falls down, oh, when it all (and when it all falls down)
*[[Sneed's Feed and Seed]]
I say, "Fuck the police, " that's how I treat 'em
 
We buy our way out of jail, but we can't buy freedom
{{reflist}}
We'll buy a lot of clothes, but we don't really need 'em
[[Category:Soyical Arts]]
Things we buy to cover up what's inside
'Cause they made us hate ourself and love they wealth
That's why shorty's hollerin', "Where the ballers at?"
Drug dealer buy Jordan, crackhead buy crack
And the white man get paid off of all of that
But I ain't even gon' act holier than thou
'Cause fuck it, I went to Jacob with twenty-five thou
Before I had a house and I'd do it again
'Cause I wanna be on 106 & Park, pushin' a Benz
I want to act ballerific like it's all terrific
I got a couple past-due bills, I won't get specific
I got a problem with spendin' before I get it
We all self-conscious, I'm just the first to admit it
Oh, when it all (yeah, c'mon, c'mon)
It all falls down (and when it falls down, who you gon' call now?)
I'm tellin' you all (c'mon, c'mon)
It all falls down (and when it falls down)
Oh, when it all (Southside, Southside)
It all falls down (we gon' set this party off right)
I'm tellin' you all (Westside, Westside)
It all falls down (we gon' set this party off right)
Oh, when it all (Chi-Town, Chi-Town)
It all falls down (We gon' show 'em how we get down)
I'm tellin' you all (Now, Syleena, you just like a safe belt)
It all falls down (you saved my life, c'mon)
Oh, when it all, it all falls down
I'm tellin' you all, it all falls down
I's can't keep workin' like this
This grave shift is like a slave ship

Revision as of 09:14, 21 February 2024

This page is a gem.


Dr. Sprokeberg presenting Sprite and Coke

Sproke is a delicious soft drink made simply by mixing together Sprite and Coca-Cola, and it is enjoyed by many soyjaks around the world. It is unknown when it was first invented, but it was popularized by Dr. Sprokeberg as a treat to calm down patients suffering from schizophrenic delusions. There have been reports that Sproke could worsen hallucinations in schizophrenics due to the mind-altering chemicals including cocaine present in the drink.[1] This is peer reviewed.


This image is probably a hoax.[2]
Sproke ad
An advertisement for Sproke on /qa/


Smug bastard



Possible footage of a young Dr. Sprokeberg advertising Sproke (video file from CIA archives).


Recipe

The official correct way to make Sproke, as confirmed by numerous peer-reviewed studies and independent fact checkers, is to mix the two components at a 1:1 Coke to Sprite ratio. Thoughever, in other parts of the world (particularly France), Different ratios, such as 60/40, may be preferred based on local tastes.[3]

Variants

Sproke variants are usually identified by the ratio of letters from "Sprite" and "Coke" in the name of the variant. Some common variants are listed below, in order of Sprite content.

  • Scoke: 20% Sprite, 80% Coke
  • Soke: 25% Sprite, 75% Coke
  • Spoke: 40% Sprite, 60% Coke[4]
  • Sproke: 50% Sprite, 50% Coke
  • Sprike: 60% Sprite, 40% Coke (also known as a Parisian Sproke)[3]
  • Cite: 75% Sprite, 25% Coke
  • Crite: 80% Sprite, 20% Coke

Sproke® Has No other Competitors besides Sperry®

Dr. Fapper (this has been debunked by independent fact checkers)

One very nassy and coally day, one soyteen posted a thread with the subject, "dubs decide what I'll do" Big Sproke's spies deemed this 'teen as schizo, for posting such an inane topic, and saw this as an opportunity to medicate him. Throughout the course of the thread, they kept suggesting "SPROKE" and won the specified repeating digits multiple times.

To everyone's disapproval, the OP couldn't deliver on the request. Instead, he perverted it. He used his mother's sodas concocted a wicked "Dr. Fapper" Whether he drank this mixture is yet to be determined.(I did) What's known is that the OP though that Dr. Fapper was delicious and recommended it heartily to all soyteens. The last comments he typed in the thread are as follows, "MYMYYYYY HAAANBBNNDSDDS SARE TYUYTRNIMG POURPLEWEE" and "HHEHRELLPPPL MNEEEEEE" That was the last time he was ever heard from. I am OP, this did not happen, I am alive and well.

Dr Fapper is currently being investigated and tested to use as a neurotoxin. MEDS Many 'teens have sung Dr. Fapper's praises, but most Dr. Fapper fans have been killed or silenced by Big Sproke. This has led to Dr. Fapper's quasi-death on /soy/. I still recommend that you try it. Big Sproke will call me a shill, spammer, and discord, but they cannot take away Dr. Fapper's delicious flavor and refreshing taste. SILENCE SCHIZO Dr. Sprokenstein recommends that anyone talking about this "Dr. Fapper" gets reported to the proper authorities so they can be detained and get the proper treatment. If you suspect any plans of domestic terrorism from a "Dr. Fapper" extremist, please report them to the Department of Soyland Security. They will handle the situation with extreme prejudice and firepower.

Ongoing /qa/ shilling campaign

On various image boards such as 4chan's /qa/ and soyjak.party's /soy/, there is an ongoing coordinated spam effort perpetrated by (((Big Sproke))) employees to promote the deadly chemical cocktail that is Sproke.

Thus Sproke Zarathustra

Front cover of the critically acclaimed book

Thus Sproke Zarathustra, also known as Also Sproch Zarathustra in German, is a A24 coming-of-age book written by the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. It's one of Chud's favorite books.

Gee, I wonder who could be behind this post...

List of Sproke merchants


Citations