Sproke: Difference between revisions
No edit summary |
(Samsry) |
||
| (70 intermediate revisions by 38 users not shown) | |||
| Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
{{Gem}} | |||
[[File:sprokeberg.png|200px|thumb|right|Dr. Sprokeberg presenting Sprite and Coke]] | [[File:sprokeberg.png|200px|thumb|right|Dr. Sprokeberg presenting Sprite and Coke]] | ||
Sproke is a delicious soft drink made simply by mixing together Sprite and Coca-Cola, and it is enjoyed by many [[Soyjak|soyjaks]] around the world. It is unknown when it was first invented, but it was popularized by [[Dr. Sprokeberg]] as a treat to calm down patients suffering from [[Schizophrenia|schizophrenic delusions]]. | '''Sproke''' is a delicious soft drink made simply by mixing together Sprite and Coca-Cola, and it is enjoyed by many [[Soyjak|soyjaks]] around the world. It is unknown when it was first invented, but it was popularized by [[Dr. Sprokeberg]] as a treat to calm down patients suffering from [[Schizophrenia|schizophrenic delusions]]. There have been reports that Sproke could worsen hallucinations in schizophrenics due to the mind-altering chemicals including cocaine present in the drink.<ref>https://archive.ph/gfltF</ref> This is peer reviewed. | ||
[[File:Sproke seething.png|200px|thumb|right|This image is probably a hoax.]] | |||
[[File:Sproke seething.png|200px|thumb|right|This image is probably a hoax.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210405085129/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/66078.html</ref>]] | |||
[[File:SprokeAD.png|thumb|alt=Sproke ad|An advertisement for Sproke on /qa/]] | |||
<br><center> [[File:Sproke. | <br><center><youtube>aQkk1lNMzHE</youtube></center> | ||
[[File:Reimu Coke and Sproke Soyak.png|thumb|Smug bastard]] | |||
<br> | |||
<br><center>Possible footage of a young Dr. Sprokeberg advertising Sproke (video file from [[CIA]] archives).</center><br> | <br><center>Possible footage of a young Dr. Sprokeberg advertising Sproke (video file from [[CIA]] archives).</center><br> | ||
==Recipe== | ==Recipe== | ||
The official correct way to make Sproke, as confirmed by numerous peer-reviewed studies and | The official correct way to make Sproke, as confirmed by numerous peer-reviewed studies and independent fact checkers, is to mix the two components at a 1:1 Coke to Sprite ratio. Thoughever, in other parts of the world (particularly [[France]]), Different ratios, such as 60/40, may be preferred based on local tastes.<ref name=":0">https://web.archive.org/web/20210415095154/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/72076.html</ref> | ||
== Variants == | == Variants == | ||
| Line 15: | Line 22: | ||
* Scoke: 20% Sprite, 80% Coke | * Scoke: 20% Sprite, 80% Coke | ||
* Soke: 25% Sprite, 75% Coke | * Soke: 25% Sprite, 75% Coke | ||
* Spoke: 40% Sprite, 60% Coke | * Spoke: 40% Sprite, 60% Coke<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210610033304/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/102116.html</ref> | ||
* Sproke: 50% Sprite, 50% Coke | * Sproke: 50% Sprite, 50% Coke | ||
* Sprike: | * Sprike: 60% Sprite, 40% Coke (also known as a Parisian Sproke)<ref name=":0" /> | ||
* Cite: 75% Sprite, 25% Coke | * Cite: 75% Sprite, 25% Coke | ||
* Crite: 80% Sprite, 20% Coke | * Crite: 80% Sprite, 20% Coke | ||
== Sproke® Has No other Competitors besides Sperry® == | |||
=== Dr. Fapper (this has been debunked by independent fact checkers) === | |||
One very nassy and coally day, one soyteen posted a thread with the subject, "dubs decide what I'll do" Big Sproke's spies deemed this 'teen as [[Schizophrenia|schizo]], for posting such an inane topic, and saw this as an opportunity to medicate him. Throughout the course of the thread, they kept suggesting "SPROKE" and won the specified repeating digits multiple times. | |||
To everyone's disapproval, the OP couldn't deliver on the request. Instead, he perverted it. He <s>used his mother's sodas</s> concocted a wicked "Dr. Fapper" Whether he drank this mixture is yet to be determined.(I did) What's known is that the OP though that Dr. Fapper was delicious and recommended it heartily to all soyteens. <s>The last comments he typed in the thread are as follows, "[[Ongezellig|MYMY]]YYYY HAAANBBNNDSDDS SARE TYUYTRNIMG POURPLEWEE" and "HHEHRELLPPPL MNEEEEEE" That was the last time he was ever heard from.</s> I am OP, this did not happen, I am alive and well. | |||
<s>Dr Fapper is currently being investigated and tested to use as a neurotoxin.</s> '''<big>MEDS</big>''' Many 'teens have sung Dr. Fapper's praises, but most Dr. Fapper fans have been killed or silenced by [[Big Sproke|Big Sproke.]] This has led to Dr. Fapper's quasi-death on /soy/. <s>I still recommend that you try it. Big Sproke will call me a shill, spammer, and discord, but they cannot take away Dr. Fapper's delicious flavor and refreshing taste.</s> [[Jews|'''<big>SILENCE SCHIZO</big>''' Dr. Sprokenstein recommends that anyone talking about this "Dr. Fapper" gets reported to the proper authorities so they can be detained and get the proper treatment. If you suspect any plans of domestic terrorism from a "Dr. Fapper" extremist, please report them to the Department of Soyland Security. They will handle the situation with extreme prejudice and firepower.]] | |||
=== [[Samsry]] === | |||
The most successful Chinese alternative to Sproke. It was created by an alchemist named Soyi Lentu, in reponse to the ruling government's suppression of Sproke. It reigned as China's favorite drink during the 20th century, and successfully branched out to different nations. Despite recently falling out of favor, Samsry remains popular in certain regions within Asia. | |||
==Ongoing /qa/ shilling campaign== | |||
On various image boards such as 4chan's /qa/ and soyjak.party's /soy/, there is an ongoing coordinated spam effort perpetrated by ((([[Big Sproke]]))) employees to promote the deadly chemical cocktail that is Sproke. | |||
== Thus Sproke Zarathustra == | |||
[[File:Thus Sproke Zarathustra Cover.png|thumb|Front cover of the critically acclaimed book]] | |||
''Thus Sproke Zarathustra'', also known as ''Also Sproch Zarathustra'' in German, is a A24 coming-of-age book written by the [[Hitler|German]] [[Shit Nobody Cares About|philosopher]] Friedrich Nietzsche. It's one of [[Chudjak|Chud's]] favorite books.[[File:Bigsproke.jpg|thumb|Gee, I wonder who could be behind this post...]] | |||
==List of Sproke merchants== | ==List of Sproke merchants== | ||
| Line 25: | Line 51: | ||
*[[Morshu]] | *[[Morshu]] | ||
*[[Sneed's Feed and Seed]] | *[[Sneed's Feed and Seed]] | ||
{{reflist}} | |||
[[Category:Soyical Arts]] | |||
Latest revision as of 01:47, 3 May 2024
This page is a gem.
Sproke is a delicious soft drink made simply by mixing together Sprite and Coca-Cola, and it is enjoyed by many soyjaks around the world. It is unknown when it was first invented, but it was popularized by Dr. Sprokeberg as a treat to calm down patients suffering from schizophrenic delusions. There have been reports that Sproke could worsen hallucinations in schizophrenics due to the mind-altering chemicals including cocaine present in the drink.[1] This is peer reviewed.
Recipe
The official correct way to make Sproke, as confirmed by numerous peer-reviewed studies and independent fact checkers, is to mix the two components at a 1:1 Coke to Sprite ratio. Thoughever, in other parts of the world (particularly France), Different ratios, such as 60/40, may be preferred based on local tastes.[3]
Variants
Sproke variants are usually identified by the ratio of letters from "Sprite" and "Coke" in the name of the variant. Some common variants are listed below, in order of Sprite content.
- Scoke: 20% Sprite, 80% Coke
- Soke: 25% Sprite, 75% Coke
- Spoke: 40% Sprite, 60% Coke[4]
- Sproke: 50% Sprite, 50% Coke
- Sprike: 60% Sprite, 40% Coke (also known as a Parisian Sproke)[3]
- Cite: 75% Sprite, 25% Coke
- Crite: 80% Sprite, 20% Coke
Sproke® Has No other Competitors besides Sperry®
Dr. Fapper (this has been debunked by independent fact checkers)
One very nassy and coally day, one soyteen posted a thread with the subject, "dubs decide what I'll do" Big Sproke's spies deemed this 'teen as schizo, for posting such an inane topic, and saw this as an opportunity to medicate him. Throughout the course of the thread, they kept suggesting "SPROKE" and won the specified repeating digits multiple times.
To everyone's disapproval, the OP couldn't deliver on the request. Instead, he perverted it. He used his mother's sodas concocted a wicked "Dr. Fapper" Whether he drank this mixture is yet to be determined.(I did) What's known is that the OP though that Dr. Fapper was delicious and recommended it heartily to all soyteens. The last comments he typed in the thread are as follows, "MYMYYYYY HAAANBBNNDSDDS SARE TYUYTRNIMG POURPLEWEE" and "HHEHRELLPPPL MNEEEEEE" That was the last time he was ever heard from. I am OP, this did not happen, I am alive and well.
Dr Fapper is currently being investigated and tested to use as a neurotoxin. MEDS Many 'teens have sung Dr. Fapper's praises, but most Dr. Fapper fans have been killed or silenced by Big Sproke. This has led to Dr. Fapper's quasi-death on /soy/. I still recommend that you try it. Big Sproke will call me a shill, spammer, and discord, but they cannot take away Dr. Fapper's delicious flavor and refreshing taste. SILENCE SCHIZO Dr. Sprokenstein recommends that anyone talking about this "Dr. Fapper" gets reported to the proper authorities so they can be detained and get the proper treatment. If you suspect any plans of domestic terrorism from a "Dr. Fapper" extremist, please report them to the Department of Soyland Security. They will handle the situation with extreme prejudice and firepower.
Samsry
The most successful Chinese alternative to Sproke. It was created by an alchemist named Soyi Lentu, in reponse to the ruling government's suppression of Sproke. It reigned as China's favorite drink during the 20th century, and successfully branched out to different nations. Despite recently falling out of favor, Samsry remains popular in certain regions within Asia.
Ongoing /qa/ shilling campaign
On various image boards such as 4chan's /qa/ and soyjak.party's /soy/, there is an ongoing coordinated spam effort perpetrated by (((Big Sproke))) employees to promote the deadly chemical cocktail that is Sproke.
Thus Sproke Zarathustra
Thus Sproke Zarathustra, also known as Also Sproch Zarathustra in German, is a A24 coming-of-age book written by the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. It's one of Chud's favorite books.
List of Sproke merchants
