Gem/Coal Rating System

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The Gem/Coal rating system is a secretly coded system in which soyjaks are classified as gem, coal, or one of dozens of related terms. To outsiders with no knowledge of soylore, these appear to be innocuous terms that simply describe the quality of a 'jak. However, each rating category encompasses deep philosophical and sociological thought and study that only the smartest members of civilization can comprehend.

Origin

The text below is fake news, gem had been used on /qa/ prior to the sharty, even in the thread where soot announced it's launch: https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/3484141/

The system originated on soyjak.party's hidden /trump/ board in response to BBC spam during the 2020 presidential elections. Mods had recently switched off the captcha, which was exploited by a notorious Australian shitposter known derisively as auscoaler. He went on a rampage, spamming BBC spadejaks and interracial cuckold porn in every thread. Users began referring to his 'jaks as coal, in reference to the coalburner meme which derides female race traitors. Jannies had cleaned up his mess by the next morning, but jakkers continued using 'coal' to refer to awful soyjaks, and the word stuck. Soon after, people adopted 'gem' as the natural opposite of coal, given the material's brilliant, white, sparkling qualities. This then blossomed into a full system that uses a wide variety of minerals and materials to describe various rankings.

Main Ratings

These are the most commonly used ratings, ordered from gemmiest to coaliest:

  • Gemerald - A 'jak displaying the most exemplary qualities, as if it were crafted by God himself.
  • Gem - A superior 'jak that embodies thought and philosophy; one that was clearly made by strong hands.
  • Carbon - A neutral term that describes 'jaks that are neither good nor bad.
  • Coal - A 'jak that smells like a turd shat out by a monkey.
  • Dust - A 'jak that appears to have been crafted by an infiltrator.
  • Brimstone - the darkest, blackest, smelliest coal to every curse the sharty.
  • Vantablack - blacker than coal, the darkest of everything.

Secondary Ratings

  • Mustard - Used objectively, usually as an alternative to coal
  • Ketchup - Used objectively, usually as an alternative to gem
  • Gold - Superior to Iron.
  • Iron - Below gold.
  • Rust - Lower than Iron but can become iron with treatment. Kuz used this term a lot.
  • Cem/geal/goal/coam - A mixture of gem and coal. This portrays qualities of both its greater and lesser components. For example,"Coal with gemmy qualities".
  • Filled/Empty - Used by the Cult of Jarboy as alternatives for gem/coal respectively.

See also