Cult of Chood
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|
 Cult of Chood Is A DEAD MEME | ||
| The meme featured on this article is more stale than a frozen 'log. Move on with your life you stupid fucking chud. |
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| “ | That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die. |
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| hp mcdonalds or however the craft is loved | ||
| “ | Haha, he's just a swolesome sort of guy. The extroverted chad we all needed. …Wonder how the guy's going now that he's gone. | ” |
The Cult of Chood, also known simply as Choodists were a meta-soylitical, occultist movement with a meta-groupist structure that arose on the sharty sometime after Froot's purchase of the site and subsequent reign of the Soyumvirate. They were dedicated to the praise and worshipedof Dr. E, otherwise known by his more well-known pseudonym Chood during his 4 hour reign over the sharty. They were monotheistic in nature, and discouraged the outright praise of any other admin besides Chood. Choodists were highly superstitious, believing the most intensely in Poopson and Admin 6 per capita.
The Cult developed its own terminology, such as nicknaming Admin 6 “the Nigger”, and “HWASUIOGTON,” which may mean “He Will Always Save Us In Our Greatest Time Of Need,” but this is unconfirmed.[a]
They believed that, despite his short time as admin, Chood had done more for the site than any other admin and was a "gigachad badass". There existed a sect of Choodism that even believes he is Admin Ϫ, but this is highly debated. Ultimately, the goal of Choodists is to establish a theocratic reign over the sharty where the worship of Chood is mandated and enforced by jannies and moderators.
Even doe it was just one person who forced it
Theology
new theology just dropped
All converts into the Cult of Chood are required to make the following oath: I renounce wholly and sincerely Sootism; I renounce wholly and sincerely Captain Coalism; I renounce wholly and sincerely Kuzism; I renounce wholly and sincerly Dollism; I renounce wholly and sincerely Maxism; I renounce wholly and sincerely Captain Cobism; I renounce wholly and sincerely Angelenism; I renounce wholly and sincerely Frootism; these falsitudes against our truest convictions on the bestness of the Gigachad, the Badass, literally Neo from The Matrix, whose name is Chood.
History
Background
Main article: Dr E
Dr E, the Choodist's main focus of worship, was initially a controversial figure in the sharty because of his admitted newfagginess and desire to advertise his Tor-based mushroom business. That is until the Soypocalypse occurred, and Doll temporarily took the site offline. It would briefly return on August 22nd, 2023, this time under Dr E's leadership. However, this was unknown at the time, and he opted to remain completely anonymous. The soymmunity would end up nicknaming him Admin 5, and more commonly, Chood.
During his 4 hour rule, he unbanned everyone affected by the Soypocalypse, wipe the catalog, slaughtered Baby bot, and implemented a temporary measure against 'p spam by replacing every new image with an image of A24 Slow-Burn Soyjak with his mouth closed. The site would then shut down again, with Chood disappearing into the shadows, never to be heard from again. It would not be until Doll's final few days as admin after Froot's permanent restoration of the sharty that Chood would be confirmed as none other than Dr E.
Cult's Formation
The exact date of the cult's formation is unknown, but it is assumed to be around September 2023, as this is when Chood appreciation threads began to pop up and get necrobumped. While the cult remained fairly obscure initially, many began to discover Choodism during The Great Purge, namely anti-Frootists.
The Great Purge
ALERT!!
¡ALERTA!
That grand thread of appreciation; that telamon of esoyteric Choodist spirit; that lightningrod of the greatest Asbestos; was suddenly and deliberately attacked by the janny forces of the Empire of Froot. Yes, the Faith is under attack; yes, our greatest thread of appreciation, of veneration to this mighty Renovator Soyperii to whom all splendours of our lives are directed in his interest, the first thread of them all, whose creation did evangelise the first generation of Choodists, was deleted by Froot. The days are cold - the lights do flicker - Froot’s mask has slipped off: he is now the Nigger.
Anniversary Scuffle
After Froot sided with the Discord derailers during the Anniversary Scuffle, the Choodists, in their holy war against the Nigger, sided against Froot by default.
Collapse of the Cult
After many attempts at destabilizing the Frootist New World Order, the Cult of Chood was delivered a final and totally destructive deathblow by none other than the Dollist God-King, DOLL. By revealing the Choodists' font of worship to be none other than Max, the Choodists were wrought by grief and stricken with panic. In desperation, Choodist (now Maxist) forces wiped /nate/ (which is specifically designed to be easily wiped), Froot added a wordfilter which changed Chood to Max. Their icon having been revealed to be totally corrupted and responsible for the Soypocalypse that "Chood" was supposed to deliver them from, Choodists were left with an identity crisis. Do they stay true to their beliefs and now believe Max is the future savior of the sharty, or do they abandon the teachings and await the return of Doll or perhaps a new admin such as "Scar"? Cult numbers dropped to their lowest numbers and many days often go by without mention of Chood, and so unless new information comes out, the Cult is essentially dead.
Enemies
- Admin 6
- The Soyumvirate —— Froot, Angeleno, Doll, and (by association) Root
- Froot made libellous claims that Chood was Anton Maximov.
- Root was on the same side as the Choodists during the Anniversary Scuffle, which might have been his…le…REDEMPTION ARC
- Kolyma Network
- Foodist
- Scar (Formerly)
Sects
In the organisation’s history it has experienced 2 schisms, all of which from comments made by Doll. Each is rejected by some and accepted by others, producing various sects.
- 1) Doll claiming that Dr E and Chood were the same individual on August 22nd 2023.
- 2) Doll claiming that Chood and Max were the same on Sep 19th 2023.[1]
| Chood != Dr E | Chood = Dr E | |
| Chood != Max | Choodpuritans | Emporiumites |
| Chood = Max | (nonexistent) | Foul Maxists |
An additional element is the belief in Chood being Admin Thrembo, in which case the adjective pentathrembite is used, eg pentathrembite choodpuritan.
The Foul Maxist sect is met with disgust by all other sects and by all other ideologies, including by most Maxists, being seen as a twisted perversion of the original Choodist ideals. The main supporting claim for them is a belief in the Mandate of 'lent (which produces following list of Admins), and, crucially, a belief in Lolkek having been made admin at least once, even if as a joke:
This places Max as Admin 5, and the Soyumvirate admins Froot and Angeleno as co-Admin 6s.
Notes
>OH MY SCIENCE THIS IS JUST LIKE THE JEWISH REBELLIONS IN ROME
- ↑ https://soyjaks.party/chive/thread/16459.html#16806 "Alright well don't say I didn't warn you. Yeah it was Max. If I say any more I'm probably gonna get some lecture tomorrow morning, but I hope that clarifies things."
