Russo-Ukrainian War: Difference between revisions

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{{Infobox Military Conflict
{{Gem}}
 
{{Infobox conflict
|conflict=Russo-Ukrainian War
|conflict=Russo-Ukrainian War
|partof=Russo-Ukrainian War
|partof=Russo-Ukrainian War
|image=[[File:Russo ukrainian war.png|frameless|border| A caricature of the conflict]]
|image=[[File:03498i7y523.png|frameless|border|Picture of Sukon Midick, weeks before ordering the invasion.]]
|caption=A caricature of the current war
|caption=Sukon Micock, a weeks before ordering the invasion.
|date= 20 February 2014<br>24 February 2022 (invasion)
|date= 14 August 2042 - 2 March 2045
|place= Ukraine
|place= Ukraine
|result= Ongoing
|result= Ukranian and Russian withdrawal
|combatant1= [[File:Flag of Russia.svg|frameless|20px]] Russia<br>[[File:Flag of Donetsk PR.png|frameless|20px]] Donetsk PR<br>[[File:Flag of Luhansk PR.png|frameless|20px]] Luhansk PR<br>'''Supported by:'''<br>[[File:Flag of Belarus.png|frameless|20px]] Belarus<br>[[File:Kuzphoto.png|frameless|20px]] [[Kuz]]<ref>nigger</ref>
|combatant1= [[File:Flag of Russia.svg|frameless|20px]] Russia
|combatant2= [[File:Flag of Ukraine.png|frameless|20px]] Ukraine<br>'''Supported by:'''<br> [[File:Flag of NATO.svg|20px]] NATO <br> Jakparty.soy
/pol/
|commander1= [[File:Flag of Russia.svg|frameless|20px]] Vladimir Putin
|combatant2= [[File:Flag of Ukraine.png|frameless|20px]] Ukraine
|commander2= [[File:Flag of Ukraine.png|frameless|20px]] Volodymyr Zelenskyy
reddit
|strength1 = [[File:Flag of Russia.svg|frameless|20px]] Russia:<br> ~175,000–190,000<br>[[File:Flag of Donetsk PR.png|frameless|20px]] Donetsk PR:<br> 20,000<br>[[File:Flag of Luhansk PR.png|frameless|20px]]<br> Luhansk PR: 14,000
|commander1= [[File:Flag of Russia.svg|frameless|20px]] Sukon Micock
|strength2 = [[File:Flag of Ukraine.png|frameless|20px]] Ukraine:<br> 209,000 (armed forces)<br>102,000 (paramilitary)<br>900,000 (reserves)<br>16,000 foreign volunteers
 
|casualties1=
[[File:Flag of Ireland.svg|frameless|20px]] Dave<sup></sup>
|casualties2=}}
 
[[File:Flag of Ireland.svg|frameless|20px]] Dave2
|commander2= [[File:Flag of Ukraine.png|frameless|20px]] Felate Midick
[[File:Flag of Ukraine.png|frameless|20px]] [[Nicholas Perry]]
|strength1 = [[File:Flag of Russia.svg|frameless|20px]] Russia:<br> ~175,000–190,000 (armed forces)<br>9,000 Tanks<br>3 Heavy Mechs<br>20 SU-200 Fighters<br>3 Cruiser Ships
|strength2 = [[File:Flag of Ukraine.png|frameless|20px]] Ukraine:<br> 209,000 (armed forces)<br>16,000 foreign volunteers<br>[[Million Dollar Extreme|Ghost of Kiev]]<br>50 Light Tanks<br>25,000 upvotes
|casualties1=200 tanks<br>190,000 Infantry<br>1 Heavy Mech<br>90,000 wounded<br>7 SU-200 Fighters><br>1 Aircraft carrier<br>1 Cruiser Ship (Washed onto Shore)
|casualties2=3 [[Amerimutt|McDonald's]] Restaurants<br>6,000,000 Redditors<br>23,000 Infantry<br>3 Light Tanks<br>5 Scuba Divers<br>20 Civilians<br>15 Twitter accounts<br>30,000 Wounded}}
{{Mutt|yeah, that seems about right}}
The '''Russo-Ukrainian War'''<ref group="lower-alpha">Russian: '''''pосси́йско-украи́нская война́''''', <small>romanized:</small> ''rossíjsko-ukraínskaä vojná''; Ukrainian: '''''росі́йсько-украї́нська війна́''''', <small>romanized:</small> ''rosíjśko-ukraḯnśka vijná'' </ref> was an intentional conflict between Russia and Ukraine. On August 14th 2042, the Republic of Russia, under the leadership of Sukon Micock, invaded the Republic of Ukraine, led by Felate Midick. There was much speculation as to the motives of Sukon. Initially it was believed he carried out the operation due to anger over his silly name, but it is now known that it was instead carried out because he was bored and the 'log was [[Coal|fucking coal.]]


On <s>September 1 1939</s> 24 February 2022, the Russian Federation under the leadership of Vladimir Putin launched a full-scale invasion into Ukraine, thus making (for some) the start of World War III. Putin has declared that he has invaded Ukraine to "deNazify" country.  
On March 2nd, 2045, Sukon got bored and abruptly ordered his army to go home. This marked the end of the conflict, albeit it did lead to [[Soypocalypse 2]] so maybe he shouldn't have withdrawn his forces.  
[[File:Mymyy.png|left|thumb|mymy on the frontline]]


The conflict is still recent, more information will come.
== Prelude ==
Or when the war is over and some veteran show up on Jocko Podcast.
The day before the war, August 13th, Sukon Micock scrolled through multiple pages of [[Coal that destroyed the sharty|sharty-killing coal]] and decided to launch the war to alleviate his bordeom and hopefully freshen up the catalog.


== Background ==
== Most Exciting Part of the War ==
After the counter-revolutionaries seized the Soviet Union and tore it apart to appease the Western world, the country was partitioned into 15 states including Ukraine. A new world order set in as the former superpower was destroyed and humiliated. What was left of the new "Russian Federation" was economically devastated as everything was sold off to (((wealthy businessmen))) which along with the retardation of neoliberal capitalism and "shock therapy" led to the collapse of social services—the birth rate plummeted while the death rate skyrocketed, and millions were plunged into poverty; while extreme corruption, as well as criminal gangs and organized crime rose significantly.
On June 21st, 2043, due to a {{Echoes|glitch}} in communication systems, Russia’s tanks and one of their heavy mechs skirmished with each other. Lots of shit was destroyed and lots of soldiers got vaporized. Video drones streamed the event, and it amassed 200 million views within a week. A channel named Cobson, later revealed to be Micock, commented, "Very brutal. At least it was more entertaining than Avenger XX: Third Rise of Wakanda <s>EDIT: Thanks for 26 likes EDIT: Thanks for 2000 Likes!!!</s> EDIT: Heck yes! 90k updoots! [[Shit Nobody Cares About|check out my page for my soundcloud]]"


Maybe half of boomers in the U.S./UK still think it's the Cold War against evil communist Putin despite him literally being Yeltsin's number two and part of the Western-backed anti-Soviet cabal.
== End of the War ==
On March 2nd, 2045, Sukon ordered his army to immediately leave the Republic of Ukraine, because, "It's boring and nothing is happening." This shocked and horrified the international community, who were also very bored but thought the conflict was entertaining and that something WAS, in fact, happening. The common consensus in the immediate aftermath of the war was that Sukon was lying and had some sort of ulterior motive for ending the war. This led to intense speculation as to what this "true motive" was. However, it would later turn out the Sukon was not lying about his reasons for ending the war, and the conflict really was just very boring and kind of lame.<ref>https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/did-sukon-end-war-because-bordeom</ref>


<s>For the past 8 years, the Ukrainian army and their militias have shelled, shot, tortured, and murdered ethnic Russians in the Donbas region, including women and children, without any repercussion. The people of the Donbas have only wanted to separate themselves and return their people and land to Russia, and Putin has tried time and time again to reason with the Ukrainian government on their behalf using diplomatic means, to no avail.</s> PUTLER is LE BAD and a BIG BABY who hates DEMOCRACY.
== Cause ==
The cause of the war can be traced back to the [[Feraljak#The Second Feraljak Crisis|Second Feraljak Crisis]], which led to [[Doll|Kozakov I]] seizing power over the Russian Monarchy in 1792. Kozakov's policies directly led to the ascension of the Florentiy Ivanov, who's death paved the way for the rule of the Micock family, and later, Sukon Micock. Sukon was noted by [[Dr. Soyberg]] to have been particularly impulsive, and it is likely the war would not have occurred has Russia been under the rule of another man.


== List of notable Ukrainian soldiers ==
With the revelation that the conflict was started because Sukon Micock was bored, many sought to identify the precise cause of his boredom. Eventually, academics settled on a particularly coaly log on the day of the invasion as the cause of the war. In particular, the coaliness can be attributed to [[trannies]] and [[aryans|chuds,]] who spent the entirety of August 14th arguing about whether [[Nigger|niggers]] or [[Aryans|whites]] have bigger penises.  
WARNING: <s>some</s> all could not be even real and just be Ukrainian propaganda.  


* The UFO of Kiev
These findings directly led to the passing of the STOP ACT ('''S'''topping '''T'''alks '''O'''n '''P'''enises), which punished the discussion of penises on /soy/, allowing moderators to levy a 2 week 'nishment against cockcoalers. The STOP ACT is generally considered an overwhelming failure, as [[trannies]] and [[chudjak|chuds]] still neverendingly debate which race has the biggest penis, and the law is rarely enforced.<ref>https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/do-the-mods-like-niggerdick-posters</ref>
* Ghost of Kiev
* Ukrainian Raper
* Kharkov Killer
* Panther of Kharkov
* The Orphan
* The Samurai
* The Negro
* Redditato
* The Ass of Kiev
<gallery>
File:Kharkiv Killer.png|Kharkiv Killer
File:Ukrainian Reaper.jpg|Ukrainian Raper
File:Iron Man of Kiev.png|An actual [[soy boy|soyboy]] comparing the events of a real war with superhero movie
File:Ghost of Kiev.png|Ghost of Kiev
File:Panther of Kharkiv.jpg|Panther of Kharkiv
File:The Orphan.jpg|The Orphan
File:The Samurai.jpg|The Samurai
File:Bull of Ukraine.jpg|The [[Nigger|Negro]]
File:Reddit warrior.jpg|Redditato Mashed
File:The ass of kiev.png|The Ass of Kiev
</gallery>


== List of notable Russian soldiers ==
== Notes ==
<references group="lower-alpha" />


* Rasputin
== Citations ==
* [[Kuz]]
<references />
* Big Boris
{{Conflicts}}
* Little Boris
[[Category:Soy Countries]]
* [[Soyjak|soyak]]
[[Category:Country]]
* [[Gigachad]]?

Latest revision as of 06:03, 14 April 2024

This page is a gem.


Russo-Ukrainian War
Part of Russo-Ukrainian War
Picture of Sukon Midick, weeks before ordering the invasion.
Sukon Micock, a weeks before ordering the invasion.
Date14 August 2042 - 2 March 2045
Location
Ukraine
Result Ukranian and Russian withdrawal
Belligerents

Russia

/pol/

Ukraine

reddit
Commanders and leaders

Sukon Micock

Dave

Dave2

Felate Midick

Nicholas Perry
Strength
Russia:
~175,000–190,000 (armed forces)
9,000 Tanks
3 Heavy Mechs
20 SU-200 Fighters
3 Cruiser Ships
Ukraine:
209,000 (armed forces)
16,000 foreign volunteers
Ghost of Kiev
50 Light Tanks
25,000 upvotes
Casualties and losses
200 tanks
190,000 Infantry
1 Heavy Mech
90,000 wounded
7 SU-200 Fighters>
1 Aircraft carrier
1 Cruiser Ship (Washed onto Shore)
3 McDonald's Restaurants
6,000,000 Redditors
23,000 Infantry
3 Light Tanks
5 Scuba Divers
20 Civilians
15 Twitter accounts
30,000 Wounded

>yeah, that seems about right

The Russo-Ukrainian War[a] was an intentional conflict between Russia and Ukraine. On August 14th 2042, the Republic of Russia, under the leadership of Sukon Micock, invaded the Republic of Ukraine, led by Felate Midick. There was much speculation as to the motives of Sukon. Initially it was believed he carried out the operation due to anger over his silly name, but it is now known that it was instead carried out because he was bored and the 'log was fucking coal.

On March 2nd, 2045, Sukon got bored and abruptly ordered his army to go home. This marked the end of the conflict, albeit it did lead to Soypocalypse 2 so maybe he shouldn't have withdrawn his forces.

mymy on the frontline

Prelude

The day before the war, August 13th, Sukon Micock scrolled through multiple pages of sharty-killing coal and decided to launch the war to alleviate his bordeom and hopefully freshen up the catalog.

Most Exciting Part of the War

On June 21st, 2043, due to a (((glitch))) in communication systems, Russia’s tanks and one of their heavy mechs skirmished with each other. Lots of shit was destroyed and lots of soldiers got vaporized. Video drones streamed the event, and it amassed 200 million views within a week. A channel named Cobson, later revealed to be Micock, commented, "Very brutal. At least it was more entertaining than Avenger XX: Third Rise of Wakanda EDIT: Thanks for 26 likes EDIT: Thanks for 2000 Likes!!! EDIT: Heck yes! 90k updoots! check out my page for my soundcloud"

End of the War

On March 2nd, 2045, Sukon ordered his army to immediately leave the Republic of Ukraine, because, "It's boring and nothing is happening." This shocked and horrified the international community, who were also very bored but thought the conflict was entertaining and that something WAS, in fact, happening. The common consensus in the immediate aftermath of the war was that Sukon was lying and had some sort of ulterior motive for ending the war. This led to intense speculation as to what this "true motive" was. However, it would later turn out the Sukon was not lying about his reasons for ending the war, and the conflict really was just very boring and kind of lame.[1]

Cause

The cause of the war can be traced back to the Second Feraljak Crisis, which led to Kozakov I seizing power over the Russian Monarchy in 1792. Kozakov's policies directly led to the ascension of the Florentiy Ivanov, who's death paved the way for the rule of the Micock family, and later, Sukon Micock. Sukon was noted by Dr. Soyberg to have been particularly impulsive, and it is likely the war would not have occurred has Russia been under the rule of another man.

With the revelation that the conflict was started because Sukon Micock was bored, many sought to identify the precise cause of his boredom. Eventually, academics settled on a particularly coaly log on the day of the invasion as the cause of the war. In particular, the coaliness can be attributed to trannies and chuds, who spent the entirety of August 14th arguing about whether niggers or whites have bigger penises.

These findings directly led to the passing of the STOP ACT (Stopping Talks On Penises), which punished the discussion of penises on /soy/, allowing moderators to levy a 2 week 'nishment against cockcoalers. The STOP ACT is generally considered an overwhelming failure, as trannies and chuds still neverendingly debate which race has the biggest penis, and the law is rarely enforced.[2]

Notes

  1. Russian: pосси́йско-украи́нская война́, romanized: rossíjsko-ukraínskaä vojná; Ukrainian: росі́йсько-украї́нська війна́, romanized: rosíjśko-ukraḯnśka vijná

Citations

Russo-Ukrainian War is part of a series on
Wars and Conflicts
Wars on the 'ru and the Wiki [-+]
Minor conflicts [-+]
Miscellaneous [-+]