Gem/Coal Rating System: Difference between revisions
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The text below is fake news, gem had been used on [[Qa/|/qa/]] prior to the sharty, even in the thread where soot announced it's launch: https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/3484141/ | The text below is fake news, gem had been used on [[Qa/|/qa/]] prior to the sharty, even in the thread where soot announced it's launch: https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/3484141/ | ||
The system originated on [[soyjak.party]]'s hidden /trump/ board in response to BBC spam during the 2020 presidential elections. Mods had recently switched off the captcha, which was exploited by a notorious Australian shitposter known derisively as ''auscoaler''. He went on a rampage, spamming BBC spadejaks and interracial cuckold porn in every thread. Users began referring to his 'jaks as ''coal'', in reference to the [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/coal_burner coalburner] meme which derides female race traitors. Jannies had cleaned up his mess by the next morning, but jakkers continued using 'coal' to refer to awful soyjaks, and the word stuck. Soon after, people adopted 'gem' as the natural opposite of coal, given the material's brilliant, white, sparkling qualities. This then blossomed into a full system that uses a wide variety of minerals and materials to describe various rankings. | The system originated on [[soyjak.party]]'s hidden /trump/ board in response to BBC spam during the 2020 presidential elections. Mods had recently switched off the captcha, which was exploited by a notorious Australian shitposter known derisively as ''auscoaler''. He went on a rampage, spamming BBC spadejaks and interracial cuckold porn in every thread. Users began referring to his 'jaks as ''coal'', in reference to the [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/coal_burner coalburner] meme which derides female race traitors. Jannies had cleaned up his mess by the next morning, but jakkers continued using 'coal' to refer to awful soyjaks, and the word stuck. Soon after, people adopted 'gem' as the natural opposite of coal, given the material's brilliant, white, sparkling qualities. This then blossomed into a full system that uses a very wide variety of minerals and materials to describe various rankings. | ||
==Main Ratings== | ==Main Ratings== | ||
These are the most commonly used ratings, ordered from gemmiest to coaliest: | These are the most commonly used ratings, ordered from gemmiest to coaliest: | ||
* '''[[:Category:Gemeralds|Gemerald]]''' - A 'jak displaying the most exemplary qualities | * '''[[:Category:Gemeralds|Gemerald]]''' - A 'jak displaying the most exemplary qualities. Will likely make history. Typically refers to a video or adventure thread. | ||
* '''[[:Category:Gems|Gem]]''' - A superior 'jak | * '''[[:Category:Gems|Gem]]''' - A superior 'jak. Good quality and memorable. | ||
* '''[[Carbon]]''' - A neutral term that describes 'jaks that are neither good nor bad. | * '''[[Carbon]]''' - A neutral term that describes 'jaks that are neither good nor bad. Equally as forgettable as dust. | ||
* '''[[ | * '''[[Coal]]''' - Used for otherwise bad or poorly made 'jaks. Coal 'jaks still have a SOVL and a few redeeming qualities nevertheless. [[Fact|Your first soyjak edit fits into this classification.]] | ||
* '''[[:Category:Niggerlimbo|Dust]]''' - | * '''[[:Category:Niggerlimbo|Dust]]''' - Anemic coal. Has no SOVL or any redeeming qualities and will be lost in the sands of time, as a completely irrelevant post. Accounts for most [[twitter]]jaks and [[Self-insert syndrome|Neutralplier blogposting threads.]] | ||
* '''[[:Category:Niggerhell|Brimstone]]''' - | * '''[[Vantablack]] -''' Blacker, dustier than coal. Truly awful soyjaks are worth deserving of this title, such as all the [[Poopson|false poopsons]], irrelevant [[SoyBooru]] country-war edits, [[Slopjaks]], etc. Vantablack posts still have more SOVL than dust, however. | ||
* '''[[ | * '''[[:Category:Niggerhell|Brimstone]]''' - The darkest, blackest coal to ever curse the sharty. Normally refers to [[Forced memes|forced shit]], [[NAS]], porn, gore or [[tranny]]slop no sane human being enjoys. | ||
* ''' [[Antimatter]] -''' Coal of Coals, Brimstone of Brimstones. [[Poopson|The coal that will kill the 'party.]] | |||
==Secondary Ratings== | ==Secondary Ratings== | ||
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* '''[[Rust]]''' - Lower than Iron but can become iron with treatment. [[Kuz]] used this term a lot. | * '''[[Rust]]''' - Lower than Iron but can become iron with treatment. [[Kuz]] used this term a lot. | ||
* '''Cem/geal/goal/coam''' - A mixture of gem and coal. This portrays qualities of both its greater and lesser components. For example,"Coal with gemmy qualities". | * '''Cem/geal/goal/coam''' - A mixture of gem and coal. This portrays qualities of both its greater and lesser components. For example,"Coal with gemmy qualities". | ||
* '''Filled/Empty''' - Used by the [[Jarboy|Cult of Jarboy]] as alternatives for gem/coal respectively. | |||
==See also== | ==See also== | ||
Latest revision as of 13:25, 12 February 2024
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The Gem/Coal rating system is a secretly coded system in which soyjaks are classified as gem, coal, or one of dozens of related terms. To outsiders with no knowledge of soylore, these appear to be innocuous terms that simply describe the quality of a 'jak. However, each rating category encompasses deep philosophical and sociological thought and study that only the smartest members of civilization can comprehend.
Origin
The text below is fake news, gem had been used on /qa/ prior to the sharty, even in the thread where soot announced it's launch: https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/3484141/
The system originated on soyjak.party's hidden /trump/ board in response to BBC spam during the 2020 presidential elections. Mods had recently switched off the captcha, which was exploited by a notorious Australian shitposter known derisively as auscoaler. He went on a rampage, spamming BBC spadejaks and interracial cuckold porn in every thread. Users began referring to his 'jaks as coal, in reference to the coalburner meme which derides female race traitors. Jannies had cleaned up his mess by the next morning, but jakkers continued using 'coal' to refer to awful soyjaks, and the word stuck. Soon after, people adopted 'gem' as the natural opposite of coal, given the material's brilliant, white, sparkling qualities. This then blossomed into a full system that uses a very wide variety of minerals and materials to describe various rankings.
Main Ratings
These are the most commonly used ratings, ordered from gemmiest to coaliest:
- Gemerald - A 'jak displaying the most exemplary qualities. Will likely make history. Typically refers to a video or adventure thread.
- Gem - A superior 'jak. Good quality and memorable.
- Carbon - A neutral term that describes 'jaks that are neither good nor bad. Equally as forgettable as dust.
- Coal - Used for otherwise bad or poorly made 'jaks. Coal 'jaks still have a SOVL and a few redeeming qualities nevertheless. Your first soyjak edit fits into this classification.
- Dust - Anemic coal. Has no SOVL or any redeeming qualities and will be lost in the sands of time, as a completely irrelevant post. Accounts for most twitterjaks and Neutralplier blogposting threads.
- Vantablack - Blacker, dustier than coal. Truly awful soyjaks are worth deserving of this title, such as all the false poopsons, irrelevant SoyBooru country-war edits, Slopjaks, etc. Vantablack posts still have more SOVL than dust, however.
- Brimstone - The darkest, blackest coal to ever curse the sharty. Normally refers to forced shit, NAS, porn, gore or trannyslop no sane human being enjoys.
- Antimatter - Coal of Coals, Brimstone of Brimstones. The coal that will kill the 'party.
Secondary Ratings
- Mustard - Used objectively, usually as an alternative to coal
- Ketchup - Used objectively, usually as an alternative to gem
- Gold - Superior to Iron.
- Iron - Below gold.
- Rust - Lower than Iron but can become iron with treatment. Kuz used this term a lot.
- Cem/geal/goal/coam - A mixture of gem and coal. This portrays qualities of both its greater and lesser components. For example,"Coal with gemmy qualities".
- Filled/Empty - Used by the Cult of Jarboy as alternatives for gem/coal respectively.
