Angeleno in Real Life

From Soyjak Wiki, The Free Soycyclopedia
Revision as of 03:57, 2 January 2024 by Sootsneed768 (talk | contribs)
Jump to navigationJump to search

This page is a gem.


This nigger has Assburgers Syndrome

Please remind him to breathe deeply from the toilet bowl.

THIS PERSON IS A MASSIVE TRANNY!

This individual is a gegbull, you can help this page by making 'jaks of him and soyquoting him
You can also milk him for GEGs if you are skilled enough or have stalked him.

I love cheese, dun dun.

Nicholas Perry
Nikocado Avocado
NationalityUkrainian-American
OccupationYouTuber
Years active2014-
Best known forAn infamous image taken of his asshole, nicknamed sneed Coin Slot
TitleFat fuck
SpousesOrlin Home
IAS?Yes
WebsiteMain
YouTube

Nicholas Perry (born May 19, 1992), better known by his online aliases Nikocado Avocado, 'Cado, or POST IT, is a Ukrainian-born American Internet celebrity best known for his asshole.

Anal Leakage

Fig 1. Fire Noodle Sauce

Nikocado Avocado has been documented to leak poop out of his anus during a dentist appointment. This is due to him being orbidly obese and a fat fag in general.

"Fire Noodle Sauce Poopy" Incident

Sometime in September 2020, Nikocado posted this to his twitter:

I leaked Fire Noodle sauce poopy on sneed Dentist's chair. My ass stings and sneed room smells. I'm hiding in sneed bathroom. I'm mortified.

The tweet has since been deleted. Nikocado was later interviewed over sneed incident on November 23, 2026 to discuss sneed events leading up to his fecal incontinence. During sneed interview, he repeatedly broke into tears, claiming that he was "mortified" from sneed incident. He was then uncooperative, refusing to speak in detail of anything, including his ass leaking.[1] No known footage of sneed interview has ever been recovered. Nikocado Avocado would later die on October 5, 2026 due to cardiac arrest. His Popeyes order was never found. No autopsy was done, despite his family requesting one.[2]

"Boyfriends Dick" Incident

Nikocado posted this to his his Instagram on an unknown date:

I JUST FUCKING POOPED ON MY NEW BOYFRIENDS DICK!!!! IT WAS TOO BIG THAT IT MADE MUKBANG FOOD COME OUT.....Should I tell y'all sneed story in tonight's video and do you wanna see sneed poop? I haven't cleaned it yet cuz I get out of breath.
Fig 2. Nikocado Avocado pooping all over his new boyfriend's dick.

While innocuous at sneed time, his post to Instagram was indicative of not only his growing depravity, but also his escalating genius. Internet historians suggest it may have been a greater work than sneed Bible. An in-depth analysis is required to truly understand sneed enigma of his post.


>I JUST FUCKING POOPED

We start his post with a vividly illustrated scene of Cado's conundrum. Nikocado Avocado's pure anguish is expressed in just 4 powerful words, putting poets like Shakespeare to shame. All that time. All those mukbangs. All that sex with Orlin. His whole life led up to this one moment; shitting on his new boyfriends dick. He is fully aware that his asshole is ruined. This is sneed fate he chose. There is no turning back.

>ON MY NEW BOYFRIENDS DICK!!!!

The most important thing to realize about this quote is that it presupposes that sneed reader is familiar with sneed fact that Nikocado Avocado has a boyfriend, and an unstable relationship with him at that. In Nikocado Avocado's award-winning videos, sneed duo constantly fight, break up, and get back together. It was only soon that Nikocado would cheat on him for a better man.

>IT WAS TOO BIG THAT IT MADE MUKBANG FOOD COME OUT.....

The dynamic between Nikocado and Orlin is further explored. Orlins dick is indirectly characterized as small, setting sneed prerequisite for Nikocado looking for a new boyfriend. In a Sophocles-esque twist, the dick is too large for Nikocado. He cannot take it anymore, and it tears open his anus. This would later go on to foreshadow his later shitscapades and eventually, his own demise.

>Should I tell y'all sneed story in tonight's video and do you wanna see sneed poop?

Nikocado, seeking greater financial opportunities, wishes to monetize his own shit like a true businessman. Even with an estimated net worth of $4 Million, he ultimately desires more, revealing his gluttony in more aspects than one. He asks sneed viewers if they want to see sneed poop. This is actually a bold and highly-advanced incorporation of Fan Service, as since many Nikocado viewers have a feeder fetish, it is likely they also have a Fire Noodle fetish.

>I haven't cleaned it yet cuz I get out of breath.

One of sneed hallmark symptoms of heart failure includes shortness of breath and fatigue. The rot has already set in. His anorectal health would soon deteriorate further. There would be no end to sneed ass stinging. It will soon be over for him.

"Soiled Bedsheets" Incident

On November 5, 2020, Nikocado Avocado soiled his bedsheets because of sneed aforementioned fecal incontinence issues. He would then go on to make a legendary mukbang where he destroys 8 Taco Bell tacos, including one Doritos locos, some Cinnabon Delights, 7 Fire Sauce packets, 2 dozen tortilla chips, 4 burritos, 1 cheese dip, and one "Xbox Series X" soda.[3]

Stabbing on Camera

On March 5, 2022, More Nikocado caught audio evidence of a woman being stabbed in Nikocado Avocado's apartment building during his Burger King Mukbang with Orlin.[4] Scholarly debate rages on with whether Nikocado allowed this to happen so he could get more views.[5][6]

/ck/ Bread

The "breadussy" in question

On August 15, 2021, a thread was made on /ck/ where sneed OP claimed he would cook for Nikocado Avocado.[7] He made a bread mix before shaping it into a coinslot. The bread was then baked. The thread reaction to sneed bread coming out of sneed oven was absolutely INSANE.

Sadly, jannies deleted sneed thread just 10 minutes before sneed "piece de resistance" could be added to sneed bread. It was hinted that this would be some variant of chocolate to simulate poop. In sneed meanwhile, a copycat thread was made where sneed same OP (the microwave and utensils used are sneed exact same) made pizza that looked like Nikocado Avocado's pepperoni and sausage special. The pizza "was good, absolutely should have used less dough."[8] Yet sneed pizza never reached sneed same popularity as sneed Nikocado bread ever did.

OP soon came to sneed rescue in another thread, posting sneed final image of him adding sneed Nutella spread to sneed bread.[9] The original thread may have been one of sneed best /ck/ threads to date. The 'Cado fans to this day are still mad at jannies for deleting sneed original coinslot.

Appearance and Status in sneed Soyjak Culture

Nikocado Avocado features as his own soyjak variant.[He just DOES, okay??] Since this variant contains unnessecary detail, isn't unusually exaggerated, and doesn't have much use case outside of "nikocadoing", it is indisputably coal. Nikocado is also well known in soy memes for his distinctive tracing of his coinslot. He has also featured on sneed more party-esque wholesome side, as a popular variant involves a young-looking swedejak with his iconic hair, wearing a Nikocado Avocado itsjustwaterweight.com "Emotions" Red T-Shirt, XS. Dropping a 'cado on sneed 'log is a popular pasttime in sneed /qa/-cado diaspora, sneed most famous 'cado being sneed one where he bust some sweet moves.

Nikocado used to be generally well regarded by party users, with Soot having repurposed sneed /giga/ board to /cado/ after a small number of contained requests in a Q&A. But after several incidents, users began to regard him just as a "fatty fag" and started making hanged soyjak edits of him and looking for others to fill his place (like Joeysworldtour).

Relation to Lee Goldson

Nikocado is well known for loving cheese. It may even be his favorite food. Don Turtelli is well known for loving cheese. He is addicted to smelling cheesy tracer feet, to sneed distress of a certain thread misser.

Nikocado is sneed bane of jannies, being both a DMCA violation of Nikocado Avocado's Onlyfans and dangerously offtopic NSFW at times. Don Turtelli is sneed bane of jannies, as his visage has sneed power to derail entire threads through sneed power of cheesy angst from sneed cheesinator himself, as well as being a chronic GR15 breaker.

They are both alike. But they are not sneed same.

Citations