Poopson: Difference between revisions

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{{CIAContentWarning}}
{{DISPLAYTITLE:Poopson}}
{{Censorship}}
{{Discord}}
[[File:Time traveler about poopson.png|thumb|359x359px|A screenshot from a future 'teen to show that poopson WILL be created. Image has been blurred to prevent 'teens from possibly killing themselves.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20230717190851/https://soyjak.party/soy/thread/3919202.html</ref>]]
{| style="margin: 0.5em auto; background: #886455; border: 2px solid #800; font-size: 95%; text-align: center;"
'''Poopson''' is a name given to a prophesized variant rumored to be the [[Coal that destroyed the sharty|coal that will destroy the sharty]]. It is expected to be created around Early 2024, possibly during [[Brimstone Winter|brimstone winter]].  
| rowspan="2" |[[File:OriginalSoytan.png|130x130px]]
|[[File:Soylentcacao.jpg|25x25px]] <big><big>  <span style="color:white">''This page is about soytan!'''</span></big></big> [[File:Soylentcacao.jpg|25x25px]]
|-
| colspan="3" |<big>NO SHIT SHERLOCK!</big>
|}
{{MedsNow}}
[[File:RealPoopson.jpg|thumb|little weird but the booru has way worse ‘jaks]]
{{Antimatter}} (OH MY FAUCI! JUST LIKE MUH HECKIN' [[Toby Fox|UNDERTALE]] GASTER-INOS)
[[File:Poopson grimey crime photo.png|thumb|A crude, grainy image supposedly depicting Poopson, unknown origin, suspected to have been released by [[CIA|federal authorities]] after an investigation]][[File:Time traveler about poopson.png|thumb|359x359px|An alleged screenshot from a future 'teen to show that poopson WILL be created. Image has been blurred to prevent 'teens from possibly killing themselves.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20230717190851/https://soyjak.party/soy/thread/3919202.html</ref>]]
<s>'''Poopson''' is a hypothetical soyjak variant rumored to be [[Coal that destroyed the sharty|the coal that will destroy the sharty]]. It was at first expected to be [[Soyjak.party/Future|created around early 2024]], possibly during [[Brimstone Winter|brimstone winter]]</s>. '''Poopson''' is <s>a gay ARG forced by Redditors.</s> '''REAL. I REPEAT. POOPSON IS REAL. ARCHIVE EVERYTHING YOU CAN ON YOUR HARD DRIVE, WEAVE ALL THE STORIES INTO CARPETS, RETELL THE SHARTY LORE TO YOUR CHILDREN IN THE FORM OF FAIRY TALES.'''


This variant is argued to be so vantablack that it will cause massive unrest amongst [[soyteen|'teens]], possibly inciting the [[Soyvil War 4|4th Soyvil War]] in an event known as '''The Pitfall'''. Offsite raiders will use this variant to demoralize soyteens and try to convince them that it's a gem variant. This variant will also gain traction amongst twitter users in positive light. In a few days or so another Captain coal incident will happen except his name is Omega Vanta. <ref name=":0"><nowiki>https://archive.ph/6u90X</nowiki></ref>After that someone will make a hardcore p poopson trace that enraged the site so much it shut down for 2 weeks, just to get spammed to hell with 'P from a very obscure imageboard.  
This variant is argued to be so vantablack that it will cause massive unrest amongst [[soyteen|'teens]], possibly escalating into a deadly Soyvil War in an event known as '''The Pitfall'''. Offsite raiders will use this variant to demoralize soyteens and [[Schizophrenia|try to convince them that it's a gem variant]]. This variant will also gain traction amongst [[twitter]] users in a positive light. In a few days or so another [[Captain Coal|Captain coal incident]] will happen except his name is Omega Vanta.<ref name=":0"><nowiki>https://archive.ph/6u90X</nowiki></ref> After that someone, will make a hardcore [[‘P|'p]] poopson trace that enraged the site so much it shut down for 2 weeks, just to get spammed to hell with 'P from a [[Splinter|very obscure imageboard]].  


But fear not! It is hoped that [[The gem that saved the party|the gem that will save the sharty]] will be created a month or two afterwards. We still wait for the day that this fictional, metaphorical gem descends upon the multiverse in the form of either a troll or great user, and brings hope and serenity upon all of the world. Until that day comes, the sharty shall continue to collapse, and people who do not embrace the gem shall never understand, so stay woke to this prophecy!
But fear not! It is hoped that [[The gem that saved the party|the gem that will save the sharty]] will be created a month or two afterwards. We still wait for the day that this fictional, metaphorical gem descends upon the multiverse in the form of either a troll or a great user, and brings hope and serenity to all of the world. Until that day comes, the sharty shall continue to collapse, and people who do not embrace the gem shall never understand, so stay woke to this prophecy!
[[File:Brojakk.png|thumb|Brojak, confirmed by independent fact checkers to be poopson even doe the image doesn't line up.]]
In early August 2023, a variant was created known as [[Brojak]]. This ultimate [[brimstone]] was forced by several [[Discord|'cord]] [[trannies]] and it was proven by several fact checkers that this variant is, in fact, Poopson. Shortly after its creation, several groups of [[My little pony|bronies]], [[trannies]], [[Pepe|frogniggers]], [[Dancing swede.mp4|'p posters]] and [[Ongezellig|ongezellig spammers]] laid siege to the sharty, resulting in (among [[Red|other]] reasons) [[Doll|DOLL]] finally [[Soypocalypse|shutting down the website]]. Brojak is [[the coal that destroyed the sharty]].


== The Original Poopson Post ==
== Legitimacy ==
Greeting Soyjak.party
The prophecy was considered by some to be debunked on November 18th, 2023, when the post that John Soytor claimed would be poopson, >>5368164, came and went.<ref>https://archive.ph/IVftK</ref> Others say that because of all the prophecies and warnings that came beforehand, our timeline has been changed and the release of Poopson has been delayed or canceled.


I am from the future and I used this site around the time poopson was created. I can't tell you much because something +=bigger=+ will happen after it is created, but here's a summary
==Origin==
The Poopson myth originated on this very wiki on July 8, 2023, when a soyteen named [[User:ThusSprokeZarathustra]] didn't take his [[meds]] and experienced a vision warning him of the end of the sharty. This user created this page on the wiki that day which read:


{{Quote|>Brimstone Winter 2024 happens}}
''Poopson is a name given to a prophesized variant rumored to be the coal that will destroy the sharty. It is expected to be created around Early 2024. This variant will be so vantablack that it will cause massive unrest amongst 'teens, inciting the 4th Soyvil War. Offsite raiders will use this variant to demoralize soyteens and convince them it [is] a gem variant. This variant will also gain traction amongst Twitter users in a positive light. But fear not about the damage caused by this variant, as the gem that will save the sharty will be released a month later.''<ref>https://soyjakwiki.net/index.php?title=Poopson_(Soyence_Denier%27s_Perspective)&oldid=38560</ref>


{{Quote|>Catalog looks normal until offsite raiders attack}}
And from there the myth spread to the sharty.


{{Quote|>Someone makes an post with the caption "Fuck this shit website" with an file attached named Poopson.jpg}}
== The Original Poopson Post ==
 
Greeting Soyjak.party
{{Quote|>It's the coalliest thing I ever seen on this site (Hence the effects and blurs I added)}}
 
{{Quote|>It doesn't gain much traction at first due the raid, but soyteens are in absolute shock}}
 
{{Quote|>The thread reaches around 800-1200 replies, but was deleted by jannies once someone posted a live stream of their suicide.}}
 
{{Quote|>Offsite raiders exploit this variants repulsiveness to create discontent amongst soyteens. Jannies attempt to delete all Poopson threads, but one dedicated man used a new method of solo-wiping the catalog by using a botnet (I don't exactly remember how he done it)}}
 
{{Quote|>Theories around poopson has emerge. Some say it was perfectly engineered by a 'cord to be so vantablack. Some say it was made by an upset 4cuck janny to take revenge. I remember someone saying it was made by a super upset soyteen after some recent drama that set the website in flames}}


I am from the future and I used this site around the time poopson was created. I can't tell you much because something +=bigger=+ will happen after it is created, but here's a summary
{{Greentext|>Brimstone Winter 2024 happens
>Catalog looks normal until offsite raiders attack
>Someone makes an post with the caption "Fuck this shit website" with an file attached named Poopson.jpg
>It's the coalliest thing I ever seen on this site (Hence the effects and blurs I added)
>It doesn't gain much traction at first due the raid, but soyteens are in absolute shock
>The thread reaches around 800-1200 replies, but was deleted by jannies once someone posted a live stream of their suicide.
>Offsite raiders exploit this variants repulsiveness to create discontent amongst soyteens. Jannies attempt to delete all Poopson threads, but one dedicated man used a new method of solo-wiping the catalog by using a botnet (I don't exactly remember how he done it)
>Theories around poopson has emerge. Some say it was perfectly engineered by a 'cord to be so vantablack. Some say it was made by an upset 4cuck janny to take revenge. I remember someone saying it was made by a super upset soyteen after some recent drama that set the website in flames
}}
That's all i'm going to say for now. Goodbye.
That's all i'm going to say for now. Goodbye.


==Observations==
==Observations==
Due to the blurring of the image provided by the poster, not much is there to be observed. Despite the blurring though, we can see that Poopson.jpg is at least black and white, is facing forward, and has an open mouth. We can also see the first two digits of the post number, 53. This could possibly mean that this digit is the 5333333 [[GET]] and why this variant was so niggerstone. The post uses a +==+ markup while saying the word big. One can infer from this that <big>bigtext</big> is added to the sharty some time in the future, before Poopson wrecks the sharty. We also can tell that the poopson image might be pretty disturbing, according to the second post it will be inspired by cacason and another brimmy variant:unknown not released yet called andyjak
Due to the blurring of the image provided by the poster, not much is there to be observed. Despite the blurring though, we can see that Poopson.jpg is at least black and white, is facing forward, and has an open mouth. We can also see the first two digits of the post number, 53. This could possibly mean that this digit is the 5333333 [[GET]] and why this variant was so niggerstone. The post uses a +==+ markup while saying the word big. One can infer from this that <big>bigtext</big> is added to the sharty some time in the future [[Font cheat sheet#Big Text|(and the future is right fucking now)]], before Poopson wrecks the sharty.  


It has been blurred due to its extreme repulsiveness, and the thread reached 800+ replies until jannies deleted it because a 'teen livestreams xer suicide. It is implied that this brimstone will be so terrible that it can cause people to commit suicide, a testament to its almost-supernatural strength.
It has been blurred due to its extreme repulsiveness, and the thread reached 800+ replies until jannies deleted it because a 'teen livestreams xer suicide. It is implied that this brimstone will be so terrible that it can cause people to commit suicide, a testament to its almost-supernatural strength.
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It might be the first and only example of [[Poop 2|coal 2]],<ref>Idk some 'teen explained coal 2 in relation to Poopson</ref><ref name=":0" /> a type of coal stronger in magnitude than the current super vantablack gravestone on the 'ru<ref>probably that [[soytan]] anus fingering music video, worst brimstone I've witnessed so far</ref> This is the type of coal that would almost directly prove the existence of [[Niggerhell|Nigger Hell]], and perhaps draw limited intervention from the [[CIA]] to muddy the waters.
It might be the first and only example of [[Poop 2|coal 2]],<ref>Idk some 'teen explained coal 2 in relation to Poopson</ref><ref name=":0" /> a type of coal stronger in magnitude than the current super vantablack gravestone on the 'ru<ref>probably that [[soytan]] anus fingering music video, worst brimstone I've witnessed so far</ref> This is the type of coal that would almost directly prove the existence of [[Niggerhell|Nigger Hell]], and perhaps draw limited intervention from the [[CIA]] to muddy the waters.


It can only be hoped that [[The gem that saved the party|the gem that saved the sharty]] is an example of gem 2, and completely kills of Poopson.
It can only be hoped that [[The gem that saved the party|the gem that saved the sharty]] is an example of gem 2, and completely kills off Poopson.


== The Redditification of Poopson Lore ==
== The Redditification of Poopson Lore ==
Recently, 'teens seeking refuge from Reddit have been adding dog shit onto Poopson lore by the truckloads. They are trying way too hard, are incompatible with the original details of Poopson, and will turn him into the backrooms and drive it into the ground before the real one is even revealed. Their attempts should be shamed, laughed at, and then they should be driven back to Reddit. All further backrooms-tier lore corruptions shall be ignored on the sharty and kept off of the wiki unless for the purpose of shaming and ridicule.
Recently, 'teens seeking refuge from [[Reddit]] have been adding dog shit onto Poopson lore by the truckloads. They are trying way too hard, are incompatible with the original details of Poopson, and will turn him into the backrooms and drive it into the ground before the real one is even revealed. Their attempts should be shamed, laughed at, and then they should be driven back to Reddit. All further backrooms-tier lore corruptions shall be ignored on the sharty and kept off of the wiki unless for the purpose of shaming and ridicule. Every Poopson not released early 2024 is NAP and all "future" posts should be discarded as fake and gay.


== FALSE POOPSONS ==
== Poopson Soyjak ==
[[File:Poopson.png|thumb|An example of a false poopson. also known as NAP]]
The original uncontaminated variant was first seen on [[Discord|da 'cord]] around October, but was later reposted in a contaminated edit onto the Sharty. This soyjak has been also given the nickname "Trannymare", a level lower than Poopson.
[[File:1690421574326.jpg|thumb|Another example of a false poopson. This one is vantablack but not enough to be poopson this might be a PAP which stands for probably a poopson]]
{| class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" data-expandtext="Click here to see Poopson."
There has been many fake and false poopsons after the word of poopson has been announced. Most where made by poopsoncord, trolls, or [REDACTED] to trick users
|+{{redtext|WARNING: COAL AHEAD!!!}}
Any "poopson" you see is NOT poopson. He will only be released in early 2024.
|[[File:Poopsonoriginal.png]]
|}


==FALSE ANDYJAK==
== False Poopsons ==
For some reason there's also a false andyjak spreading around everywhere that claims it's andyjak. Note that any andyjak you see isn't andyjak, it only releases in September 2023.  
There have been many false Poopsons made after the word of Poopson came out. Most were made by [[Discord|Poopsoncord]], trolls, or [[CIA|{{glow|[REDACTED]}}]] to trick users. Any "Poopson" you see is NOT Poopson. He will only be released in early 2024.
==Apocrypha==
<gallery>
'''''As of August 14th, 2023, everything in this section has been proven to be false.'''''
File:Poopson.png|The original false Poopson
File:1690421574326.jpg|Another false Poopson
File:Discordjak.png|An excessively vantablack [[Slopjaks|slopjak]] labeled as Poopson's Brother
File:Brojakk.png|Brojak, the most successful NAP
</gallery>


Not included in OP. The legitimacy of these stories is in contention among Poopson prophets. There are some concerns that the lore is being killed by Redditors.  
=== Brojak ===
[[Brojak]], despite popular belief, is not a poopson. There are multiple reasons why brojak is not poopson. The first reason is that the original file is called "brojak.png" rather than "Poopson.jpg".<ref>[[Brojak#/media/File:Brojakfirstcontact.png]]</ref> The second reason is that it was released on August 2023 rather than early 2024. And finally, it is also due to the fact that the development of the prophecy becoming true has occurred where in September, one month after the creation of Brojak, [[Froot]] added a new text format that allows big text exactly like how the OP of the original Poopson prophecy thread has attempted to use at the time where big text formatting has not been implemented yet.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20230902063301/https://soyjaks.party/soy/thread/4527765.html</ref> The reason why many 'teens believed that it is poopson is due to the timing of the release of brojak, which was mere days before the [[Soypocalypse]] occured. Because of this, however, it can be considered as a "proto-poopson".


Although many soyteens consider the 2024 account to be canon due to it being the OP of a thread, there is no definitive proof of its authenticity and there are details in it (such as poopson having dark brown skin) that contradict the original story. Further research is needed into the topic because you need to TRUST THE SCIENCE, CHUD!
The Poopson Prophet himself has confirmed that brojak is not poopson and stated that poopson "makes brojak look like the gem that saved the party".<ref name=":2">https://web.archive.org/web/20230902063030/https://soyjaks.party/soy/thread/4538967.html No.4539711</ref>


=== Apocryphal Observation ===
=== Another False Poopson ===
Poopson is actually a combination of 2 other brimmy variants called "joelchud" and "carrotjak"
This can be viewed [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dqt4lw1AwkA here] but it's just a mystery to what this is


=== 'Teen from September 2023's account ===
==Apocrypha==
Soyteen from september 2023 here. This is andyjak.
''Main Article: [[Poopson/Apocrypha]]''
Hes the other inspiration to poopson, i dont know what poopson will look like but i guess it will be cacason with the andyjak smile thats brown or something.


=== ‘Teen from 2024’s account ===
Not included in OP. The legitimacy of these stories is in contention among Poopson prophets. The [[Soypocalypse]] has placed further doubt in these accounts.  
Soyteen from 2024. Here to give more information about poopson and what will happen during brimstone winter


>He will be inspired by this image (cacason) and another coalish variant that's releasing in September of 2023 called andyjak
=== Observations of the Apocrypha ===
This string of posts were originally posted in the same thread, and in quick succession. The posts get less serious as it continues, with none of it relating to Poopson, except for the 2023 and 2024 account. The main theme of these posts is how coal just gets coalier.


>He will be dark brown
==== September 2023 and circa 2024 ====
These are the most related to Poopson. According to these posts, Poopson is dark brown, and actually popular with normies, despite its [[Antimatter|doublevantablack]], [[Brimstone|turboniggercoally]] nature. He is inspired by [[andyjak]] and [[cacason]]. The Sharty actually gets more popular, even though sharty killing coal is posted. Doll is still admin in 2024, which would mean he becomes admin of the Sharty again, which has been proven true. In essence, these accounts are sensical and don't conflict with the original post.


>Someone will post a p trace that has poopson in it, enraging the site even more
=== 2026 to 2030 ===
Mostly contains world politics. According to these accounts, the world as we know it ends in 2030 after Coal 3 is released.


>He will be spammed countless of times
== Deuterocanon ==
Due to the [[Soypocalypse]] all of the previous accounts have been debunked by [[Jews|independent fact checkers]],'''<ref>[https://science.com/info/is-poopson-real/ science.com/info/is-poopson-real/]</ref><ref>https://snopes.com/fact-check/poopson-released-chitwood/</ref><ref>https://whitehouse.gov/announcements/partnering-with-soylutions</ref><ref>https://cia.gov/files/soy/2023/operation-clean-stable-DECLASSIFIED.pdf</ref> '''the following are accounts that can still hold true following past events.
== The Original Poster (John Soytor) Returns<ref name=":2" /> ==
{{Tip|Since this post comes from an alternate timeline, the details can't be deboonked in the future.}}


>Poopson gets popular on Twitter and TikTok
=== First Post ===
Hello again Soyjak.party


>A new type of coal will be discovered after poopson releases called coal 2, way more darker than vantablack
It looks like my showing up in the past has altered this timeline. I can't tell for certain what will happen in this timeline, but here's a few clarifications on what happens in my timeline
{{Greentext|>Froot bought the 'party during the auction in July. The same group of Doll, 'Leno, and Froot take control
>The Soyumvirate (or Soybunal, as we call them in our timeline) fires Red after discovering xir involvement in der 'cord, preventing the IP leak that happened in your timeline
>The 'party does not go down, but there is a wave of 'p spam during which image uploads are disabled
>Brojak is not poopson. While brojak is undoubtedly brimstone, Poopson makes brojak look like the gem that saved the party
>Andyjak is likely a red herring. No such variant exists in my timeline, though it's possible whoever made that post is from the timeline created after my last visit
>Poopson is not a shitjak, despite the name. It is antialiased but otherwise black and white
>Poopson was not the 5333333 GET
>It's unclear whether the man who wiped the catalog was the one behind babybot or not
}}


>Another Captain coal incident happens, this time the person is called Omega Vanta
Don't give up hope. In my timeline at least, Poopson is not the end of the 'party. I won't risk saying more than that now. Goodbye.


>The site gets more popularity
==== Observations ====
The poster of this account claims that the [[Alternate History|timeline was altered]] by their meddling, and that they're the same as the original time traveler. In their timeline, the [[Soyumvirate]] gets formed earlier, or more precisely, at the time of the [[Second great purchase|Second Great Purchase]]. This directly prevents the [[Soypocalypse]] because [[Red]] gets fired, but the sharty gets spammed with [[CSAM|'p]] to the point that images are disabled, which is similar to what happened in this timeline anyway. The poster clarifies that Poopson is antialiased, black and white, and not a GET. Basically, this post denies that the ''Apocrypha'' is true.


>P spam gets so bad to the point where doll finally adds anti p software
The post closes off on an optimistic, but ambiguous note.


=== 'Teen from 2026's account ===
=== Second Post <ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20230903044435/https://soyjaks.party/soy/thread/4548748.html#4550284</ref> ===
Soyteen from 2026 here.
I am the original poster of the "prophecy", as well as the follow-up in the previous thread [[Fact|(proof below)]]
Doll has resigned and instates an AI learning model based off of kuz (who dies on January 9th, 2024 at 9:56 am eastern standard time)'s telegram account.


Call of Duty: Black Ops Gulf War raiding has become a frequent passtime of sharty users after a custom decal maker was added to the game as a 30 dollar dlc pack. Teens raid outbreak 2 lobbies with gore decals plastered on their mallet melee weapons.
Poopson is not any one existing variant, but not a pure original or a pure composite either. It is an amalgam of reused parts of different 'jaks and original parts. I will not comment on what parts of which 'jaks were used or what the original parts [[You look like this and say this|looked like]].  


El Perro Rabioso is banned by the bot due to the compressed air cord spamming it relentlessly.
<big>[[Fourth Industrial Revolution|Attempting to reconstruct Poopson is a BAD IDEA. You WILL NOT continue this. I only say this much to sate your curiosity.]]</big>


David thoughie, having trooned out, comes back and releases a parody of American Boy by Estelle.
Also I'm no prophet. If you must call me something, call me [[Namefags|John Soytor]]. I will be back soon.
[[File:Soytorproof1.png|thumb|343x343px|One of the two images posted by Soytor to prove he is the original poster, featuring a screenshot of the original post with a (You) indicator.]]
[[File:SoytorProof2.png|thumb|The second image posted by Soytor, proving authorship of the follow-up post]]


The boogeyman of the day is a splinter site named yogabbagabba.orlin
==== Observations ====
The time traveler claims that the worst sharty killing antimatter to curse to the sharty is a frankenstein monster of existing jaks. The poster provides two images as proof that he is the original poster, consisting of his prior two posts with (you)s. Weirdly enough, one of the screenshots is him posting a screenshot with the (You) on the original post. Finally, the poster gives the name John Soytor for himself, a reference either to the self-proclaimed time traveler John Titor, or to [[Anime|Steins;gate]], which itself references the John Titor legend.


Posts are reddit spaced by default.
The exact implications of this information is unknown, but it certainly spells a [[Splicejak]] fail.


A soyteen completes a run of the soyjak party doom mod at GDQ 2026 and gets banned both for transphobia and for not telling anyone the game was modded.
=== Third Post<ref>https://archive.ph/kTsWX</ref> ===
He is not the original poster, I am. That image was from the original image I posted. Second pic is proof it's me. Poopson was not AI generated, at least not entirely.  


A pirated copy of the netflix GoodFellas remake is uploaded on to /zellig/ on october 31st, causing the FBI to temporarily delete the board for copyright infringement. Half of the site cheers, whereas a zelligposter shoots up a federal building in Hawaii.
- John Soytor


The booru is sold to Turkey Tom.<ref name=":0" />
==== Context ====
On September 4th, a user posted a comparison picture between the censored Poopson and a NAP [[Stable Diffusion|AIjak]] claimed by the thread's OP to be Poopson. A 'teen saw this, and believed the poster of the comparison to be John Soytor. Soytor himself then came to deboonk this.


=== 'Teen from 2027's account ===
==== Observations ====
Soyteen from 2027 here
The phrase "at least not entirely" suggests the possibility that Poopson is ''partially'' AI-generated, but Soytor may also simply be be unsure. 


Soyteen from 2026 is lying, Doll is still around by 2027, though he's gone increasingly erratic since his divorce in 2025. CoD raiding did became a thing thoughever.
== Opposite of Poopson? ==
The sharty saving gem is theoretically Poopson's polar opposite, but since 'teens are selfish little fucks, we don't know much about said opposite, including its name, and whether it'll be some new variant, a particularly gemmy edit, or a video/SMV.


New VR technology has made it possible for 'teens to raid troons and spam TND gore, earrape, and other disgusting things, and one troon actually acked zirself from this
== The Poopson Incident of 03.26.2024 ==
The 6666666 GET is stolen by poopson. The site shuts down for a brief moment. Chaos and panic ensue. Multiple soyteens claim that they are going to commit suicide. Jannies immediately delete the image, but it's too late. As of writing this, the thread has reached 265 replies in 2 hours<ref>https://archive.fo/vuCax</ref><ref>https://ghostarchive.org/archive/n8xvj</ref>. It's over.


A Discord alternative named Roombox is released, and thanks to a viral marketing campaign and it being much more welcoming to chuds, all the discordtroons that spam the 'arty with 'p move to there.
For obvious reasons, the image is present on this page. you can also see the supposed image here: https://archive.fo/SREsf. Most witnesses in the thread claim that this is the image that OP posted.


Another splinter site by the name of partysoy.jak is made due to Doll's aforementioned mental decline.
== References ==
 
<references />
Soyjak.party gets on the news and is branded as an alt-right hate site in February 8th 2027 after 'teens troll the ADL. It gets on the news again after 'teens hacked Times Square and played Cobbo by 6ixϪhrembo in June 18th 2027


That's all I can say for now <ref name=":0" />
{{Cancer}}


=== 'Teen from 2028's account ===
[[Category:WNBAG]]
2028 Soyteen here. Sorry if my posts takes a while to upload, I wasn't lucky enough to dodge the draft and I'm currently stationed in West Poland. The WiFi here is terrible.
 
An edit of poopson depicting the 'jak edited to resemble the 1st transgender polish President, Jana Sobota, is posted by opposition leader Pawel Kowalski. Sobota got so angry at the 'jak that she ordered the special forces unit JW GROM to raid the headquarters of Kowalski's party, causing a civil war to ignite in the country. Surprisingly, us NATO forces are on the side of Kowalski, since Sobota is vehemently pro russian stemming from a secret relationship with former Soyjak party owner Yuri Kuznetsov. Our opponents are mainly pro-Sobota mercenaries from PMC Brimstone, a mercenary group created by Partysoy.jak admin "Hand". Casualties are high on both sides, owing to people posting the co-ordinates of their bases and supply lines on rival sites.
 
In non-war related news, an official Soyjak.party Pizza Tower server is started and becomes relatively popular.
 
A wave of refugees from the now defunct crystal.cafe begin posting on the sharty before eventually getting confined to a containment board called /admin/.
 
'Teens are embedding still frames from the tv series "Titanfall" into soyjaks, hoping to reconstruct the series in secret. the project is projected to be finished in 2030.
 
A former twitch raider becomes the foreign minster of Monaco. They become popular after CIUing the UN.
 
The soyjak Wiki overtakes the Norwegian language wikipedia in article count, becoming the 2nd largest wiki in the world. mainly due to the migration of booru countrycoallers and a wave of bot articles posted by the KuzBot.
 
Roombox is shut down after it was revealed that the co-founder of the site called himself a "sperg" back in 2019. Cancel culture has become so widespread that you can't even be mean to yourself anymore. 'Jakking remains unaffected due to a strict anonymity policy.
 
4chan attempts to start a nation in Antarctica. They all freeze to death because a 50 year old troon cut the power after overhearing someone saying they liked wojak posters.
 
In order to raise money for the poverty stricken region of west Virginia, an art piece is made by the Home Ridge mining corporation depicting a classic soyjak made out of real coal. It is a success.
 
Soot is revealed to be a Canadian pizza delivery man with a DUI on record.<ref name=":1">lost media from the initial thread, recovered on https://archive.ph/PsKAD</ref>
 
=== 'Teen from 2029's account ===
2029 soyteen here, sane guy as the last post. I’m now a millionaire after investing in Home Ridge Coalposting and I can finally call Sobota a “he” because the troon freak killed himself on New Year’s Eve, which ended the war and deactivated the proper pronouns bomb chip in the brainwave-reading helmets of every NATO soldier. Life is good.
 
Klaus Schwab died after inadvertently eating one of his contaminated bug meat burgers. The WEF is now pushing an “eat the cows and live in the mansion” policy after the world’s climate issues were solved by the invention of a new, clean energy source: Kuz rolling in his grave.
 
Tesla has lost billions of dollars after the dancing_swede video was discovered in the files of the 2027 models. A mass recall is issued.
 
/pol2/ was finally added to the sharty after 6 years of persistent requests.
 
Nikocado Avocado dies after complications with his bariatric surgery. His coinslot is preserved in a vat of formaldehyde and pork fat in the Ukrainian national museum.
 
The 4cuck /b/ 1 quadrillion get is stolen by a sharty user who posted an image of Coinjak. This cements him as a sharty saving gem.
 
The Netherlands sinks into the ocean during the production of Ongezellig Deel #7. It is never released, much to the dismay of the /zellig/ board. Frequent dives are conducted to locate the mythical episode.
 
Amerimutt is mistakenly banned by the American government due to the phrase “or something” being a frequent quote of president Fuentes. Or something. <ref name=":1" />
 
=== 'Teen from 2030's account ===
2030 soyteen here Coal 3 was released this year and it was so bad that it launched all of the nuclear weapons in the world simultaneously billions have died I have been sitting in this bunker alone for 4 months and I am about to run out of food and my Kuz rolling in his grave generator is about to fail I don’t have much faith in the fu <ref name=":1" />
[[File:Discordjak.png|center|thumb|544x544px|Poopson's Brother]]
 
== Scripture ==
'''Due to the [[Soypocalypse]] all of the previous accounts have been debunked by [[Jews|independent fact checkers]], the following are accounts that can still hold true following past events.'''
 
=== ‘Teen from 2024’s account (2) ===
>January - Doll, 'Leno, and Froot announce they will be founding a company called "Soylutions" in order to maintain the Sharty and associated sites.
 
>February - Soylutions releases a short Soyjak Dating Sim for Valentine's Day which is put on Steam. The game is co-developed by Blue Collar Games, creator of "'Member The Alamo?" This causes light controversy from Jim Sterling who ends up becoming a target of Sharty harassment and trolling.
 
>March - Sidson.City becomes a part of the Soylutions webring, with mixed reactions from both Sharty and Sidty userbases. It stays relatively separate and untouched by Soylutions, however, and gets support and access to Soylutions services.
 
>April - A new "Chatbots" page is added with Chatbots for a few notable variants, as well as an interactive "Soyjak Adventure" AI Dungeon-styled text adventure. While originally intended as an April Fools joke, it is kept up as a hidden page not linked on the site anywhere. Also at an unknown date, a Strong Bad chatbot was added for some reason.
 
>May - A new member joins Soylutions who goes by Wally. It is unknown if this is his real name or not, but he apparently has cybersecurity expertise and helps develop Medsflare, an in-house DDOS guard Soylutions will use for all websites in the webring. 'Teens are split on portraying him as either Walter White or Wally from Pokemon R/S/E. Wally refuses to comment on this.
 
>June - Chris Chan is made aware of the Sharty and posts art portraying Sonichu and Impjak meeting on his DeviantART. Some people post Sharty memes and lingo in his comments but nothing much else comes from it.
 
>July - Jim Sterling leaves the internet, after his address is doxxed and a Soyteen puts TTD, Troonjak, and Chudjak pictures on his door with razor blades behind them. This is blamed on Kiwi Farms and it gets DDOSed harder than usual by troons, while Sharty gets off scot free.
 
>August - A new member of Soylutions going by Hoot joins. He adds /geo/, a board for geology and minerals that nobody really uses, but still is kept despite being similar to /sci/. Most depict him as an Owl, with some portraying him as a 'Jakked version of Hank Schrader due to making a mineral board and his name starting with an H.
 
>September - A Soyteen spots Cobson plushies at a flea market among Garten of Banban and Huggy Wuggy bootleg plushies. He buys one and it is dubbed "Plushson" by soyteens. More Plushsons pop up around the USA, with some in Sweden. (Swedish win)
 
>October - Soylutions announces "Five Nights at Plier's", a FNAF fangame developed by Soylutions, Emil Macko, and endorsed by Markiplier. It is a part of the Fazbear Fanverse Initiative, and merch of an animatronic Markiplier Soyjak is sold. This also leads to /plier/ being added for the first time since the Captain Coal incident.
 
>November - A DeviantART user known as ReallyNiceGains writes Ongezellig Fat Fetish erotica with several references to the Sharty and /qa/ culture. Studio Massa deletes all his social media profiles after this, but it is unknown if these are related.
 
>December - A /geo/ user discovers fossils that are identified as a new species of Sauropod dinosaur, and manages to get it named "Soyasaur" as it is coincidentally discovered near a large soybean plantation. This is considered a total Sharty victory and Wally posts a skeletal dinosaur Soyjak he made, which is considered to be a gem, but people call him a retard because it was a Theropod skeleton and not a Sauropod.
 
== References ==
<references />

Revision as of 20:21, 6 May 2024

This topic was created by or has connections to Der 'Cord
Don't trust anything you see. Read every revision in the page's history to learn the truth.
This page is about soytan!'
NO SHIT SHERLOCK!
little weird but the booru has way worse ‘jaks

🚫☸☞︎☜︎⚫ 🛳🚫 ☼︎ ☹︎✋︎☞︎☜︎⊖🛳☸🚫 ✧ⓘ⚐︎☼︎ 🎁⚫🛳 (OH MY FAUCI! JUST LIKE MUH HECKIN' UNDERTALE GASTER-INOS)

A crude, grainy image supposedly depicting Poopson, unknown origin, suspected to have been released by federal authorities after an investigation
An alleged screenshot from a future 'teen to show that poopson WILL be created. Image has been blurred to prevent 'teens from possibly killing themselves.[1]

Poopson is a hypothetical soyjak variant rumored to be the coal that will destroy the sharty. It was at first expected to be created around early 2024, possibly during brimstone winter. Poopson is a gay ARG forced by Redditors. REAL. I REPEAT. POOPSON IS REAL. ARCHIVE EVERYTHING YOU CAN ON YOUR HARD DRIVE, WEAVE ALL THE STORIES INTO CARPETS, RETELL THE SHARTY LORE TO YOUR CHILDREN IN THE FORM OF FAIRY TALES.

This variant is argued to be so vantablack that it will cause massive unrest amongst 'teens, possibly escalating into a deadly Soyvil War in an event known as The Pitfall. Offsite raiders will use this variant to demoralize soyteens and try to convince them that it's a gem variant. This variant will also gain traction amongst twitter users in a positive light. In a few days or so another Captain coal incident will happen except his name is Omega Vanta.[2] After that someone, will make a hardcore 'p poopson trace that enraged the site so much it shut down for 2 weeks, just to get spammed to hell with 'P from a very obscure imageboard.

But fear not! It is hoped that the gem that will save the sharty will be created a month or two afterwards. We still wait for the day that this fictional, metaphorical gem descends upon the multiverse in the form of either a troll or a great user, and brings hope and serenity to all of the world. Until that day comes, the sharty shall continue to collapse, and people who do not embrace the gem shall never understand, so stay woke to this prophecy!

Legitimacy

The prophecy was considered by some to be debunked on November 18th, 2023, when the post that John Soytor claimed would be poopson, >>5368164, came and went.[3] Others say that because of all the prophecies and warnings that came beforehand, our timeline has been changed and the release of Poopson has been delayed or canceled.

Origin

The Poopson myth originated on this very wiki on July 8, 2023, when a soyteen named User:ThusSprokeZarathustra didn't take his meds and experienced a vision warning him of the end of the sharty. This user created this page on the wiki that day which read:

Poopson is a name given to a prophesized variant rumored to be the coal that will destroy the sharty. It is expected to be created around Early 2024. This variant will be so vantablack that it will cause massive unrest amongst 'teens, inciting the 4th Soyvil War. Offsite raiders will use this variant to demoralize soyteens and convince them it [is] a gem variant. This variant will also gain traction amongst Twitter users in a positive light. But fear not about the damage caused by this variant, as the gem that will save the sharty will be released a month later.[4]

And from there the myth spread to the sharty.

The Original Poopson Post

Greeting Soyjak.party

I am from the future and I used this site around the time poopson was created. I can't tell you much because something +=bigger=+ will happen after it is created, but here's a summary

>Brimstone Winter 2024 happens
>Catalog looks normal until offsite raiders attack
>Someone makes an post with the caption "Fuck this shit website" with an file attached named Poopson.jpg
>It's the coalliest thing I ever seen on this site (Hence the effects and blurs I added)
>It doesn't gain much traction at first due the raid, but soyteens are in absolute shock
>The thread reaches around 800-1200 replies, but was deleted by jannies once someone posted a live stream of their suicide.
>Offsite raiders exploit this variants repulsiveness to create discontent amongst soyteens. Jannies attempt to delete all Poopson threads, but one dedicated man used a new method of solo-wiping the catalog by using a botnet (I don't exactly remember how he done it)
>Theories around poopson has emerge. Some say it was perfectly engineered by a 'cord to be so vantablack. Some say it was made by an upset 4cuck janny to take revenge. I remember someone saying it was made by a super upset soyteen after some recent drama that set the website in flames

That's all i'm going to say for now. Goodbye.

Observations

Due to the blurring of the image provided by the poster, not much is there to be observed. Despite the blurring though, we can see that Poopson.jpg is at least black and white, is facing forward, and has an open mouth. We can also see the first two digits of the post number, 53. This could possibly mean that this digit is the 5333333 GET and why this variant was so niggerstone. The post uses a +==+ markup while saying the word big. One can infer from this that bigtext is added to the sharty some time in the future (and the future is right fucking now), before Poopson wrecks the sharty.

It has been blurred due to its extreme repulsiveness, and the thread reached 800+ replies until jannies deleted it because a 'teen livestreams xer suicide. It is implied that this brimstone will be so terrible that it can cause people to commit suicide, a testament to its almost-supernatural strength.

It might be the first and only example of coal 2,[5][2] a type of coal stronger in magnitude than the current super vantablack gravestone on the 'ru[6] This is the type of coal that would almost directly prove the existence of Nigger Hell, and perhaps draw limited intervention from the CIA to muddy the waters.

It can only be hoped that the gem that saved the sharty is an example of gem 2, and completely kills off Poopson.

The Redditification of Poopson Lore

Recently, 'teens seeking refuge from Reddit have been adding dog shit onto Poopson lore by the truckloads. They are trying way too hard, are incompatible with the original details of Poopson, and will turn him into the backrooms and drive it into the ground before the real one is even revealed. Their attempts should be shamed, laughed at, and then they should be driven back to Reddit. All further backrooms-tier lore corruptions shall be ignored on the sharty and kept off of the wiki unless for the purpose of shaming and ridicule. Every Poopson not released early 2024 is NAP and all "future" posts should be discarded as fake and gay.

Poopson Soyjak

The original uncontaminated variant was first seen on da 'cord around October, but was later reposted in a contaminated edit onto the Sharty. This soyjak has been also given the nickname "Trannymare", a level lower than Poopson.

WARNING: COAL AHEAD!!!

False Poopsons

There have been many false Poopsons made after the word of Poopson came out. Most were made by Poopsoncord, trolls, or [REDACTED] to trick users. Any "Poopson" you see is NOT Poopson. He will only be released in early 2024.

  • The original false Poopson

    The original false Poopson

  • Another false Poopson

    Another false Poopson

  • An excessively vantablack slopjak labeled as Poopson's Brother

    An excessively vantablack slopjak labeled as Poopson's Brother

  • Brojak, the most successful NAP

    Brojak, the most successful NAP

Brojak

Brojak, despite popular belief, is not a poopson. There are multiple reasons why brojak is not poopson. The first reason is that the original file is called "brojak.png" rather than "Poopson.jpg".[7] The second reason is that it was released on August 2023 rather than early 2024. And finally, it is also due to the fact that the development of the prophecy becoming true has occurred where in September, one month after the creation of Brojak, Froot added a new text format that allows big text exactly like how the OP of the original Poopson prophecy thread has attempted to use at the time where big text formatting has not been implemented yet.[8] The reason why many 'teens believed that it is poopson is due to the timing of the release of brojak, which was mere days before the Soypocalypse occured. Because of this, however, it can be considered as a "proto-poopson".

The Poopson Prophet himself has confirmed that brojak is not poopson and stated that poopson "makes brojak look like the gem that saved the party".[9]

Another False Poopson

This can be viewed here but it's just a mystery to what this is

Apocrypha

Main Article: Poopson/Apocrypha

Not included in OP. The legitimacy of these stories is in contention among Poopson prophets. The Soypocalypse has placed further doubt in these accounts.

Observations of the Apocrypha

This string of posts were originally posted in the same thread, and in quick succession. The posts get less serious as it continues, with none of it relating to Poopson, except for the 2023 and 2024 account. The main theme of these posts is how coal just gets coalier.

September 2023 and circa 2024

These are the most related to Poopson. According to these posts, Poopson is dark brown, and actually popular with normies, despite its doublevantablack, turboniggercoally nature. He is inspired by andyjak and cacason. The Sharty actually gets more popular, even though sharty killing coal is posted. Doll is still admin in 2024, which would mean he becomes admin of the Sharty again, which has been proven true. In essence, these accounts are sensical and don't conflict with the original post.

2026 to 2030

Mostly contains world politics. According to these accounts, the world as we know it ends in 2030 after Coal 3 is released.

Deuterocanon

Due to the Soypocalypse all of the previous accounts have been debunked by independent fact checkers,[10][11][12][13] the following are accounts that can still hold true following past events.

The Original Poster (John Soytor) Returns[9]

Since this post comes from an alternate timeline, the details can't be deboonked in the future.


First Post

Hello again Soyjak.party

It looks like my showing up in the past has altered this timeline. I can't tell for certain what will happen in this timeline, but here's a few clarifications on what happens in my timeline

>Froot bought the 'party during the auction in July. The same group of Doll, 'Leno, and Froot take control
>The Soyumvirate (or Soybunal, as we call them in our timeline) fires Red after discovering xir involvement in der 'cord, preventing the IP leak that happened in your timeline
>The 'party does not go down, but there is a wave of 'p spam during which image uploads are disabled
>Brojak is not poopson. While brojak is undoubtedly brimstone, Poopson makes brojak look like the gem that saved the party
>Andyjak is likely a red herring. No such variant exists in my timeline, though it's possible whoever made that post is from the timeline created after my last visit
>Poopson is not a shitjak, despite the name. It is antialiased but otherwise black and white
>Poopson was not the 5333333 GET
>It's unclear whether the man who wiped the catalog was the one behind babybot or not

Don't give up hope. In my timeline at least, Poopson is not the end of the 'party. I won't risk saying more than that now. Goodbye.

Observations

The poster of this account claims that the timeline was altered by their meddling, and that they're the same as the original time traveler. In their timeline, the Soyumvirate gets formed earlier, or more precisely, at the time of the Second Great Purchase. This directly prevents the Soypocalypse because Red gets fired, but the sharty gets spammed with 'p to the point that images are disabled, which is similar to what happened in this timeline anyway. The poster clarifies that Poopson is antialiased, black and white, and not a GET. Basically, this post denies that the Apocrypha is true.

The post closes off on an optimistic, but ambiguous note.

Second Post [14]

I am the original poster of the "prophecy", as well as the follow-up in the previous thread (proof below)

Poopson is not any one existing variant, but not a pure original or a pure composite either. It is an amalgam of reused parts of different 'jaks and original parts. I will not comment on what parts of which 'jaks were used or what the original parts looked like.

Attempting to reconstruct Poopson is a BAD IDEA. You WILL NOT continue this. I only say this much to sate your curiosity.

Also I'm no prophet. If you must call me something, call me John Soytor. I will be back soon.

One of the two images posted by Soytor to prove he is the original poster, featuring a screenshot of the original post with a (You) indicator.
The second image posted by Soytor, proving authorship of the follow-up post

Observations

The time traveler claims that the worst sharty killing antimatter to curse to the sharty is a frankenstein monster of existing jaks. The poster provides two images as proof that he is the original poster, consisting of his prior two posts with (you)s. Weirdly enough, one of the screenshots is him posting a screenshot with the (You) on the original post. Finally, the poster gives the name John Soytor for himself, a reference either to the self-proclaimed time traveler John Titor, or to Steins;gate, which itself references the John Titor legend.

The exact implications of this information is unknown, but it certainly spells a Splicejak fail.

Third Post[15]

He is not the original poster, I am. That image was from the original image I posted. Second pic is proof it's me. Poopson was not AI generated, at least not entirely.

- John Soytor

Context

On September 4th, a user posted a comparison picture between the censored Poopson and a NAP AIjak claimed by the thread's OP to be Poopson. A 'teen saw this, and believed the poster of the comparison to be John Soytor. Soytor himself then came to deboonk this.

Observations

The phrase "at least not entirely" suggests the possibility that Poopson is partially AI-generated, but Soytor may also simply be be unsure.

Opposite of Poopson?

The sharty saving gem is theoretically Poopson's polar opposite, but since 'teens are selfish little fucks, we don't know much about said opposite, including its name, and whether it'll be some new variant, a particularly gemmy edit, or a video/SMV.

The Poopson Incident of 03.26.2024

The 6666666 GET is stolen by poopson. The site shuts down for a brief moment. Chaos and panic ensue. Multiple soyteens claim that they are going to commit suicide. Jannies immediately delete the image, but it's too late. As of writing this, the thread has reached 265 replies in 2 hours[16][17]. It's over.

For obvious reasons, the image is present on this page. you can also see the supposed image here: https://archive.fo/SREsf. Most witnesses in the thread claim that this is the image that OP posted.

References

  1. ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20230717190851/https://soyjak.party/soy/thread/3919202.html
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 https://archive.ph/6u90X
  3. ↑ https://archive.ph/IVftK
  4. ↑ https://soyjakwiki.net/index.php?title=Poopson_(Soyence_Denier%27s_Perspective)&oldid=38560
  5. ↑ Idk some 'teen explained coal 2 in relation to Poopson
  6. ↑ probably that soytan anus fingering music video, worst brimstone I've witnessed so far
  7. ↑ Brojak#/media/File:Brojakfirstcontact.png
  8. ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20230902063301/https://soyjaks.party/soy/thread/4527765.html
  9. ↑ 9.0 9.1 https://web.archive.org/web/20230902063030/https://soyjaks.party/soy/thread/4538967.html No.4539711
  10. ↑ science.com/info/is-poopson-real/
  11. ↑ https://snopes.com/fact-check/poopson-released-chitwood/
  12. ↑ https://whitehouse.gov/announcements/partnering-with-soylutions
  13. ↑ https://cia.gov/files/soy/2023/operation-clean-stable-DECLASSIFIED.pdf
  14. ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20230903044435/https://soyjaks.party/soy/thread/4548748.html#4550284
  15. ↑ https://archive.ph/kTsWX
  16. ↑ https://archive.fo/vuCax
  17. ↑ https://ghostarchive.org/archive/n8xvj
Poopson
is part of a series on
the coal that is killing /soy/
Sources [-+]
Symptoms [-+]
Treatment [-+]
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