Autism: Difference between revisions

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'''TEFAL IF YOU BAN ME YOU'LL STOP BEING A CVCKOLD FAGGOT LMFAO'''
[[File:Tranzanite.png|frameless|76x76px]]'''<big>This post is a [[List of soyjak.party slang|Tanzanite]] [[Truthnuke|trvthnvke]].</big>'''{{Aspie}}[[File:ETB Soyjak.png|thumb|231x231px|{{Quote|>You didn't speak until age 5 and you're too sigma to look people in the eye therefore you have autism.}}]]
[[File:1620501388439 soyjak angry crying dancing gif.gif|thumb|231px|{{Quote|>You spent HOW MANY hours stacking cans of beans? Lmao you are so autistic despite it being a valid hobby}}]]
[[File:Crying SoyWojak.png|left|thumb|302x302px|{{Quote|>Wearing non-cotton socks make you cry therefore you have autism even though it's just your fashion sense}}]]<blockquote>''For the variant, see [[Tismjak]]''</blockquote>'''Autism Spectrum Disorder''', also known as '''Assburgers Syndrome''' is a fake medical condition similar to [[schizophrenia]]. It's a broad, generic, bullshit word made up to sell [[Meds|pills]] to neurotic mothers. Often used by [[women]] (mostly mothers of spergy boys, but also younger [[Crystal Cafe|tumblrinas]]<s>)</s> in order to get more attention points. Usually, it's diagnosed at a young age because some [[Dr. Soyberg|"qualified doctor"]] said so, all in the name of smothering [[Jews|humanity's natural yet psychotic need to see connections between unrelated phenomena.]] This leads to their [[Doll|moms]] forever [[Little Buddy|treating and coddling them]] like a [[Babyjak|baby]], and there's a good chance the [[You|little sperg]] will end up being medicated and zombified for the other snowflake syndromes their parents insist they have.


I finally came back from the store just as the sun was beginning to dip below the horizon. I'd gone a little overboard today, I'm starting to think that it's a bad habit of mine. But in my defense, I hadn't shopped in a while so my body was basically craving a shopping spree. And who am I to deny my own needs?
"IQ tests" are really "autism tests". Scoring a high IQ generally means you are a [[Soyteen|screaming retard]] who will [[Lee|shit his pants watching MLP]] but who can [[Stealthjak|decipher oddly specific patterns in simple images]].
I was ready for a long night of gaming after my long day cleaning up the house and shopping. I just got beta access for the new Minecraft update. I set my groceries down on the table and turned the TV on for some background noise. As I sorted through my bags and put the groceries away, I saw something I definitely didn't buy. It was blueberry gum. It could be a worse flavor, but it still confused me. Did someone slip it into my cart when I wasn't looking?
 
"Weird," I said to myself. "I'm not one to complain about free stuff, though. This'll make a funny story to tell later."
== Relevance to [[Trannies|troons]] and the internet ==
As I opened the pack of gum and popped a piece into my mouth, the smell hit me like a brick wall.
It is NOT real. So-called autists are regular socially awkward kids, tricked into thinking they're retards or have social difficulties (which could be improved with just regular attempts at socializing and being more outgoing instead of being caught up in their heads all the time. Yes, believe it or not, despite this retarded internet trend that has caught on, being socially awkward is not autism. Most people with autism couldn't even begin to function socially let alone recognize that they are being awkward. As an insult, autism is now another way to say "retard" or "[[4cuck|loser"]].)
"Holy shit," I said out loud, as the intense blueberry flavor flooded my mouth. "That is not gum. What the fuck???"
 
I spat the piece out into my hand and looked at it, then I realize it was indeed gum. It was the flavor and texture of gum. Maybe I'd just bitten into a particularly strong piece or something? I couldn't understand how gum could possibly taste like this, it was too strong to be real.
There's the spiral we all know. Lonely (and therefore easily impressionable) kids will spend too much time on their computers and it quickly becomes their only way to find comfort. The human mind is very sensitive to [[The Great Domain Drop|large change]], and so they create blockers that take control of their minds, leading otherwise normal people into very dark places, such as porn addiction.
I'm little weirded out by the whole situation, but figured I should finish putting the groceries away before investigating more. It was probably nothing anyway. Once everything was put away, I started streaming.
 
"Hello I'm ibxtoycat, and today we're doing an update stream on Minecraft... I think I should take a nap..."
The existence of trannies can easily be explained by autism. That's really all there is to it. If there was a [[meme]] in [[Trannies|tranny]] circles such "so like, all get a tattoo of a narwhal lol" you'd see them doing it left and right because the majority of these people are just spergs that get suckered into the whole thing. They all buy "Blahaj", a fucking stuffed shark, for the same reason they want to cut their dicks off. [[Fact|They are barely sentient]]. Most trannies are male-to-freak. Men are far more likely to have fetishes than women. Men are also more likely to have autism.
I let out a yawn and stretched my arms, trying to wake myself up. The game is taking forever to load, and it was starting to annoy me. I decided to check my internet connection, but couldn't find any problems. I could have sworn I saw a glimmer of light out of the corner of my eye. I turned towards the window, but didn't see anything. It was probably just a reflection of the screen. My chair suddenly seemed a lot comfier than it had been just a second ago. I could feel myself slowly drifting off to sleep.
 
I jolted awake and glanced at the clock. Only fifteen minutes had passed. My mouth felt weirdly wet. I touched my finger to my lips and they came back blue. That blueberry taste was still lingering, and the smell was stronger than ever. Minecraft was stuck at 74% loaded. I stood up and stumbled a bit, feeling woozy. I felt like I was going to puke, but my stomach didn't feel sick, it felt full. Like I'd just eaten a big meal.
== Related to Autism ==
"C-Chat? Chat, I'm really fucked up right now... This... This is really fucking me up, man..."
 
I looked down at my stomach, expecting to see a huge bulge or something. There was no bulge, but my stomach was slightly distended. It was almost unnoticeable, but I definitely had a slight tummy. I stared at the screen, silently begging the damn game to load. When it finally finished, I breathed a sigh of relief. I started up the game and tried to play. I couldn't concentrate, and kept making stupid mistakes. I even fell into a pit with zombies chasing me.
* [[Algorithm Sluts|Internet addiction]]
"I'm just..."
** [[Märgerautismus Syndrome]]
I can't ignore it now. My shirt just ripped, and I'm pretty sure my pants are going to be next. My stomach is stretching them so tight, I can hear the stitches starting to pop. It's not that I'm gaining weight, I'm inflating. I've heard stories about this. But those were just rumors. They're not real.
** [[Self-insert syndrome]]
"Wait... this is actually... kinda nice... I..."
** Internet "Subcultures"
I don't care if I look silly. It feels too good to stop... not like I could. I can feel juice dripping down my legs, and the taste of blueberries is driving me crazy. I'm so full, and I'm still not at my limit. I've lost all control, and I'm just letting it happen. I can't get enough, and it's making me even hungrier. I can barely fit into my computer chair now, and the way my belly rubs against the desk feels so good... My ass starts to itch, and I realize that my butt is starting to swell.
*** [[Anime]]
"YouTube... isn't gonna... want me... like this... oh, fuck it, who cares? Let them ban me..."
*** [[Furry|Furries]]
My legs are spread wide, and my belly is spilling over them. I can feel the pressure building inside of me, and I know I'm not far from the end. I still have a few minutes, but I've given up on the game. I just want to lie here and let it happen. I can see a blue stain spreading across my carpet, and it's starting to fill the room with a sweet aroma.
*** [[Ongezellig]]
"Just a little more... I'm almost there... haah..."
**** [[My little pony]]
I arch my back, and let out a deep moan. It's almost painful, but in a good way. I can't stop myself from cumming, even though I know it will end soon. I'm almost round, and it's starting to get uncomfortable.
*** "[[Meme|Memes]]"
"Fuck... this is it, guys... the big finish..."
**** [[Pepe]]
I close my eyes, and relax. It feels so good, and I never want it to end. I can feel juice leaking from my lips, and pooling on the floor. My legs are shaking, and my whole body is trembling. I'm so close...
**** [[Soyjak|Soyjaks]]
"Ch-"
**** [[Forced memes]]
The pressure becomes unbearable, and everything goes white. There's a loud popping noise, and I feel myself crash to the ground. Juice is everywhere, and I can't even get up. I think my intestines came out, too. I'm just lying here, covered in blueberry juice, and enjoying the afterglow. I barely manage to lift my head and look at the screen. My view count is skyrocketing. Of course it would be, they've all seen what just happened. I can't blame them. Gore's popular, and so's porn. Putting the two together is bound to get a few million views.
** [[Porn|Porn addiction]]
I want to get up, but I'm scared that my lungs might fall out. Wait, that's what we have ribcages for, right? Fuck it, I'll die either way. My chair's not broken, so at least I didn't damage anything besides my own body. I push myself up and manage to sit down in my chair. It's so sticky and wet, but I'm too exhausted to care.
*** [[Gooning]]
"...Well... that's it. And... thanks for... 60 thousand views live. See ya..."
*** [[Dancing swede.mp4|''Dancing swede.mp4'']]
I'm amazed I managed to speak coherently after what just happened, but I have no time to admire myself. The pain is coming back, and it's getting harder to breathe.
*** [[Trannies|Transgenderism]]
"Oh... and when... do I... get my... Wikipedia... article? Hah... hah... Fuck it, chat... let's go..."
*** [[4chan]]
I let out a final wheeze and close my eyes. And all I can smell is the smell of sweet, sweet success.
**** [[V/]]
**** [[Tv/]]
**** [[Trash/]]
*** [[Discord]]
*** [[Twitter]]
* [[Vaccine|<s>Vaccines</s>]] they're 100% safe chud!
* Unlucky mothers
* Unhealthy food
** [[Goyslop]]
*** [[McDonalds]]
*** ''Chinese food - responsible for 80% of all autism diagnosis according to a certain person''
{{Cancer}}
[[Category: Patients | Mental health]]
[[Category:Mental health]]

Revision as of 09:56, 1 January 2024

This post is a Tanzanite trvthnvke.

This nigger has Assburgers Syndrome

Please remind him to breathe deeply from the toilet bowl.

>You didn't speak until age 5 and you're too sigma to look people in the eye therefore you have autism.
>You spent HOW MANY hours stacking cans of beans? Lmao you are so autistic despite it being a valid hobby
>Wearing non-cotton socks make you cry therefore you have autism even though it's just your fashion sense

For the variant, see Tismjak

Autism Spectrum Disorder, also known as Assburgers Syndrome is a fake medical condition similar to schizophrenia. It's a broad, generic, bullshit word made up to sell pills to neurotic mothers. Often used by women (mostly mothers of spergy boys, but also younger tumblrinas) in order to get more attention points. Usually, it's diagnosed at a young age because some "qualified doctor" said so, all in the name of smothering humanity's natural yet psychotic need to see connections between unrelated phenomena. This leads to their moms forever treating and coddling them like a baby, and there's a good chance the little sperg will end up being medicated and zombified for the other snowflake syndromes their parents insist they have.

"IQ tests" are really "autism tests". Scoring a high IQ generally means you are a screaming retard who will shit his pants watching MLP but who can decipher oddly specific patterns in simple images.

Relevance to troons and the internet

It is NOT real. So-called autists are regular socially awkward kids, tricked into thinking they're retards or have social difficulties (which could be improved with just regular attempts at socializing and being more outgoing instead of being caught up in their heads all the time. Yes, believe it or not, despite this retarded internet trend that has caught on, being socially awkward is not autism. Most people with autism couldn't even begin to function socially let alone recognize that they are being awkward. As an insult, autism is now another way to say "retard" or "loser".)

There's the spiral we all know. Lonely (and therefore easily impressionable) kids will spend too much time on their computers and it quickly becomes their only way to find comfort. The human mind is very sensitive to large change, and so they create blockers that take control of their minds, leading otherwise normal people into very dark places, such as porn addiction.

The existence of trannies can easily be explained by autism. That's really all there is to it. If there was a meme in tranny circles such "so like, all get a tattoo of a narwhal lol" you'd see them doing it left and right because the majority of these people are just spergs that get suckered into the whole thing. They all buy "Blahaj", a fucking stuffed shark, for the same reason they want to cut their dicks off. They are barely sentient. Most trannies are male-to-freak. Men are far more likely to have fetishes than women. Men are also more likely to have autism.

Related to Autism

Autism
is part of a series on
the coal that is killing /soy/
Sources [-+]
Symptoms [-+]
Treatment [-+]