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The Swolesome Soyjak is a particularly Wholesome Buffjak who works as an orderly at the mental asylum and hunts wildlife. Swolesome Soyjak is known for being the only Soyjak ever known to defeat a wild, fully grown fingerboy in unarmed combat, making him famous among the soyjak community.[1] In addition to this, Swolesome Soyjak works at the asylum, and helps restrain patients and hunt down escapees. Swolesome Soyjak is currently searching for the doctor-turned-escaped-patient Dr. Soyowad. He is also the designated Soylent bottle-opener at the asylum, due to those difficult lids.
Daily Workout Routine[edit | edit source]
Swolesome Soyjak has an exceptional physique and gets more exercise than almost any other soyjak. Here's an example of the exercise he does throughout a day to maintain his incredible musculature:
- Opens hundreds of Soylent bottles for patients, asylum workers, and himself
- Pulls the meds wagon through the asylum[2]
- Does 10 soy-milk gallon curls (two handed)
- 1 mile slow walk
Diet[edit | edit source]
Here's a typical day of eating for Swolesome Soyjak:
- Pre-workout: Four scoops of Satan Nigger Rape Madness brand soy protein pre-workout supplement (1200~ mg caffeine)
- Post-workout: Impossible Whopper with no toppings
- Lunch: Food (Japan (100% authentic bone-chilling slow burn sushi with no childish cream cheese or spicy mayo))
- Breakfast for Dinner: Fake Steak and Gay Eggs
