Swolesome Soyjak: Difference between revisions

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[[File:Tyronius Floyd.png|thumb|Freshmen at the University of Minnesota attending a lecture on critical BBC theory, 2021 ]]'''Critical BBC Theory (CBBCT)''' is a ficticious unified cosmological theory of everything revolving around the superiority of Big Black Cock (BBC.) According to neo-Nazi right-wing schizophrenic chudcels who forgot to take their meds, CBBCT is a CIA funded form of post-modern liberal propaganda that is taught at all levels K-12 in American public schools. However, according to snopes.com, there is absolutely no evidence whatsoever to indicate that CBBCT indoctrination is actually happening.  
[[File:Swolesomewithfingerboy.png|thumb|Swolesome Soyjak capturing a fingerboy after it attacked an asylum patient.]]
The '''Swolesome Soyjak''' is a particularly [[Wholesome Soyjak|Wholesome]] [[Buff Soyjaks|Buffjak]] who works as an orderly at the [[Mental Asylum|mental asylum]] and hunts wildlife. Swolesome Soyjak is known for being the only [[Soyjak]] ever known to defeat a wild, fully grown [[Fingerboys|fingerboy]] in unarmed combat, making him famous among the soyjak community.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210325055015/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/61804.html</ref> In addition to this, Swolesome Soyjak works at the asylum, and helps restrain patients and hunt down escapees. Swolesome Soyjak is currently searching for the doctor-turned-escaped-patient [[Dr. Soyowad]]. He is also the designated [[Soylent]] bottle-opener at the asylum, due to those difficult lids.


== Overview ==
==Daily Workout Routine==
Even if CBBCT did exist (which it DOES NOT,) no white person would ever be capable of understanding it due to the implicit bias inherent in their subconscious. The only group of people that would be qualified to understand CBBCT (which DOES NOT actually exist,) is Black/Brown inner-city elders who have a doctoral degree in CBBCT from MIT University. These educated Black/brown elders from MIT have scientifically proven that white people would never be able to understand CBBCT (if it even existed in the first place) due to their implicit bias and lack of lived experiences. Thus, speaking speaking about CBBCT as a white person is equivalent to violence against Black Lives.
[[File:Meds wagon.png|thumb|right|Swolesome Soyjak hauling the meds wagon through fingerboy infested territory.]]
Swolesome Soyjak has an exceptional physique and gets more exercise than almost any other soyjak. Here's an example of the exercise he does throughout a day to maintain his incredible musculature:
*Opens hundreds of Soylent bottles for patients, asylum workers, and himself
*Pulls the meds wagon through the asylum<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210413041641/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/69987.html  </ref>
*Does 10 soy-milk gallon curls (two handed)
*1 mile slow walk


If CBBCT were real (which IT IS NOT,) then it would be impossible to write down any of its main ideas on paper. Since the white man invented writing, there is no way to write down anything that is not institutionally racist. The only way to learn about CBBCT would be through the oral tradition of the Zulu nation, passed down from generation to generation since the beginning of time.
==Diet==
Here's a typical day of eating for Swolesome Soyjak:
*Pre-workout: Four scoops of Satan Nigger Rape Madness brand soy protein pre-workout supplement (1200~ mg caffeine)
*Post-workout: [[Impossible Whopper]] with no toppings
*Lunch: Food (Japan (100% authentic bone-chilling slow burn sushi with no childish cream cheese or spicy mayo))
*Breakfast for Dinner: [[Bugs|Fake Steak]] and Gay Eggs
 
== See also ==
 
* [[Buff Soyjaks]]
{{Variants}}

Latest revision as of 00:59, 23 February 2024

Swolesome Soyjak capturing a fingerboy after it attacked an asylum patient.

The Swolesome Soyjak is a particularly Wholesome Buffjak who works as an orderly at the mental asylum and hunts wildlife. Swolesome Soyjak is known for being the only Soyjak ever known to defeat a wild, fully grown fingerboy in unarmed combat, making him famous among the soyjak community.[1] In addition to this, Swolesome Soyjak works at the asylum, and helps restrain patients and hunt down escapees. Swolesome Soyjak is currently searching for the doctor-turned-escaped-patient Dr. Soyowad. He is also the designated Soylent bottle-opener at the asylum, due to those difficult lids.

Daily Workout Routine

Swolesome Soyjak hauling the meds wagon through fingerboy infested territory.

Swolesome Soyjak has an exceptional physique and gets more exercise than almost any other soyjak. Here's an example of the exercise he does throughout a day to maintain his incredible musculature:

  • Opens hundreds of Soylent bottles for patients, asylum workers, and himself
  • Pulls the meds wagon through the asylum[2]
  • Does 10 soy-milk gallon curls (two handed)
  • 1 mile slow walk

Diet

Here's a typical day of eating for Swolesome Soyjak:

  • Pre-workout: Four scoops of Satan Nigger Rape Madness brand soy protein pre-workout supplement (1200~ mg caffeine)
  • Post-workout: Impossible Whopper with no toppings
  • Lunch: Food (Japan (100% authentic bone-chilling slow burn sushi with no childish cream cheese or spicy mayo))
  • Breakfast for Dinner: Fake Steak and Gay Eggs

See also

Swolesome Soyjak is part of a series on
Soyjak variants
Main variants [-+]

Variants with over 1,000 Booru posts

Classic Soyjak ♦ A24 Slow-Burn Soyjak ♦ Gapejak ♦ Markiplier Soyjak ♦ Bernd ♦ Feraljak ♦ Cobson ♦ Impish Soyak Ears ♦ Chudjak

Other variants [-+]
Subvariants [-+]
Soyjak trends [-+]
By artform [-+]
NAS [-+]

Main article: NAS

Wojak ♦ Non-Wojak Soys ♦ Wikipe-tan ♦ Soytan ♦ NPC ♦ Gigachad ♦ Pepe ♦ Sidson ♦ SoySuba ♦ Chadjak ♦ Pissluffare ♦ Soylita ♦ Poopy ♦ Poopson

  1. ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20210325055015/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/61804.html
  2. ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20210413041641/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/69987.html
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