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| {{DISPLAYTITLE:Cobson}} | | {{DISPLAYTITLE:Cobson}} |
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| {{Tanzanite}}
| | THIS PAGE SUCKS |
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| <span class="noexcerpt">''[[Image:Minecraft-diamond.png|25px]]Β This page will always be a '''gem'''.''</span>
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| {{Quoting|[[soyjak.party|This Universe]] Is Mine... [[Fact|I Am COB Here]]|Cobson<ref>[[Shit Nobody Cares About|actually jobe]]</ref>}} | | {{Quoting|[[soyjak.party|This Universe]] Is Mine... [[Fact|I Am COB Here]]|Cobson<ref>[[Shit Nobody Cares About|actually jobe]]</ref>}} |
| {{Infobox Soyjak | | {{Infobox Soyjak |
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| *[[#Nig|Nig]] | | *[[#Nig|Nig]] |
| }} | | }} |
| '''Cobson''' is a [[soyjak]] based on Jobe Smith from the 1992 Sci-Fi slow burn, esoteric, thought provoking, kafkaesque film "The Lawnmower Man"<ref group="lower-alpha">[https://soyjak.wiki/images/d/da/The-lawnmower-man.mp4 Watch The Lawnmower Man online free movie 1080p 4k hindi subtitle.mp4.exe]</ref><ref>{{Template:CitePost|board=tv|no=2620|caption=I just discovered that the cobsonjak comes from a 90s movie named "The Lawnmower Man"|date=September 11, 2021|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20210912040348/https://soyjak.party/tv//res/2620.html}}</ref>. Cobson's features include 2 thick eyebrows, irises on the eyes, a well-kept stubble, an average sized forehead, and a masculine facial structure. It first arose in the middle of 2021, where it quickly gained a controversial reputation. A lot of soyjak critics at the time derided this soyjak as [[coal]]<ref name=":0" /><ref name=":1" /><ref name=":2" /> and most didn't really care about it, [[though]] a minority of critics saw it as very [[Gem|gemmy]] and dubbed it a "God tier wojack"<ref name=":3" />. However, a critical reevaluation soon followed after Cobson stole the [[GET#10000000_GET|10 millionth GET on /s4s/]].<ref><nowiki>https://archive.4plebs.org/s4s/thread/9999967/#q10000000</nowiki></ref> Along with 2 of the most popular music artists on the [[Soyjak.party|Sharty]], 6ixΟͺhrembo<ref name=":4" /> and [[David Thoughie]], being Cobsons themselves, Cobson is now widely dubbed by soyjak critics as one of the greatest soyjaks of all time, and some even deem him to be the G.O.A.T, [[though]] there is still a minority of critics that still think that he is coal. This critical appreciation led Cobson to win Οͺ Oscars, 13 Emmys, a 9.8 rating on IMDB, a 9.5 rating on My[[Anime]]List, 6 stars on Letterboxd, and a 14.88/10 rating on RateYourMusic.{{CitationNeeded}} However, with Cobson's newfound popularity, some more [[Trannies|malicious]] [[Discord|forces]] decided to use this "God tier wojack" for their own deranged purposes. Some trannies decided to make [[Spadeson|QoS edits of innocent Cobson]], and the heretical belief that he is a "slut for [[BBC]]" soon emerged among the [[Pepe|sharty's transgender population]]. Along with edits of Cobson depicting him as a child rapist called [[Rapeson]]<ref name=":6" /><ref name=":7" /><ref name=":8" />, his reputation became tainted among soyteens. He is still mostly regarded as a gem doebeit, and a bone-chilling, spine-tinging, genre-redefining vidya game called [[Five Nights at Cobson's]] has been recently announced to have been in the works by renowned game developer [[Froot|Froot Cawthon]] and his team.<ref name=":5">https://soyjaks.party/fnac/thread/1.html</ref>
| | ==Cobson is a nigga which everyone hates. Fuck cobson.== |
| ==History==
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| According to the original image's [[Datamining|EXIF data]],<ref name="og_booru">https://booru.soy/post/view/1025</ref> Cobson was created on June 6th, 2021 at 14:34:35 EST by someone using Adobe Photoshop Elements 13.0 on Windows. He was subsequently posted on [[Qa/|/qa/]] at 17:03:41 EST the same day under the filename "lawnmower soy.png", with the accompanying caption: "ONIONS BASEDJAK ONIONS BASEDJAK ONIONS BASEDJAK ONIONS BASEDJAK ONIONS BASEDJAK ONIONS BASEDJAK ONIONS BASEDJAK ONIONS BASEDJAK ONIONS BASEDJAK ONIONS BASEDJAK ONIONS BASEDJAK ONIONS BASEDJAK ONIONS BASEDJAK ONIONS BASEDJAK ONIONS BASEDJAK ONIONS BASEDJAK ONIONS BASEDJAK ONIONS BASEDJAK"<ref name="origin" />
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| He released to overwhelmingly negative reviews from critics,<ref name=":0">https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/4599440/#4599440</ref><ref name=":1">https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/4624451/#4624460</ref><ref name=":2">https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/4925173/</ref> although this was mostly down to one [[schizo]] spamming "shit tier wojack [sic]" in every Cobson thread.<ref>https://desuarchive.org/qa/search/text/%22shit%20tier%20wojack%22/page/9/</ref><ref group="lower-alpha">A long time later, at about September 2022, an confession was made on /soy/ from the user who allegedly was the one spamming βshit tier wojackβ, stating that it was because he was autistically irritated by Cobsonβs beard hair.</ref> As the months went on, however, Cobson obtained a cult following among some [[Soy Community|soyteens]], who hailed him as a "god tier wojack".<ref name=":3">https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/4887320/</ref> As a result, the debate of whether he is [[coal]] or [[gem]] remains a hot topic among soyteens to this day.<ref>[https://booru.soy/post/view/3039#search=variant:cobson https://booru.soy/post/view/3039]</ref>
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| Cobson got his name on September 4th, 2021 as a [[Soy_speak#Apostrophisation|contraction]] of [[Jacobson]],<ref>https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/4989115/#4989193</ref> a [[Soyjak_Nicknames|nickname for soyjaks]] that was [[Archaism|briefly used at the time]].<ref>https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/4545475/#4547422</ref>
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| In his farewell Q&A, [[Kuz]] stated that Cobson was his favorite 'jak.<ref>https://soyjak.party/soy/thread/4073326.html#4074317</ref>
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| [[Schizophrenia|On October 26th, 2023 Chris-Chan was convinced by a 'teen to give Cobson a public endorsement, however due to being severely retarded he mispronounced it as Cobs'''c'''on instead. It was nonetheless celebrated as a Cobson win.]]
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| [[File:Cobscon.mp4|thumb|The clip|none]]
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| ==Music Career==
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| Cobson's career as a musician was jumpstarted when he received a number of edits depicting him as a rapper.<ref>https://booru.soyjak.su/post/view/3208</ref><ref>https://booru.soyjak.su/post/view/3495</ref><ref>https://booru.soyjak.su/post/view/4873</ref> From there, he starred in an unusual number of [[Songs|song parodies]] on the [[Soyjak Party Video Archive]]. His early work was a little too new wave for my taste, but when ''Gem Cobity'' released in '21? I think he really came into his own, both commercially and artistically. He's been compared to [[Soynigga|Svenska Beat]], but I think Johbson has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.
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| ===David Thoughie===
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| [[File:Cobman - My Mix.png|thumb|''Cobman'' appearing as the first video in a soyteen's autogenerated YouTube music playlist.|none]]
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| In 2021 and 2022, Cobson's disassociate personality [[David Thoughie]] released two parody songs, [[Songs#Gem Cobbity by David Thoughie (Parody of Space Oddity by David Bowie)|''Gem Cobity'']] and [[Songs#Cobman by David Thoughie (Parody of Starman by David Bowie)|''Cobman'']], both to widespread critical acclaim. Multiple chuds have admitted to listening to these songs "unironically", including one YouTube reviewer who described it as an "actual gem",<ref>[[:File:Cobman Review 1-3.png|File:Cobman Review 1-3.png]]</ref> and another who hailed it as "Perhaps the greatest gem ever mined and cut thus far".<ref>[[:File:Cobman Review 2-3.png|File:Cobman Review 2-3.png]]</ref>
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| In January 2022, ''Cobman'' was nominated for a Nobel Prize in Literature.<ref>[[:File:Cobman Review 3-3.png|File:Cobman Review 3-3.png]]</ref>
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| ===''Cobbo''===
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| ''[[Songs#Cobbo by 6ixΟͺhrembo (Parody of GUMMO by 6ix9ine)|Cobbo]]'', also known as Cob Gang, is a popular parody song whose lyrical content offers a scathing critique on the human soyndition (soy condition), delivered in the high art of mumble rap. It is extremely popular; as of February 2022 it is the most viewed video on the Soyjak Party Video Archive. ''Cobbo'', and by extension Cobson himself, is one of only a couple things to ever receive the rare honour of starring on the [[Soyjak.party|Soyjak Party]] homepage, the highest award [[Soot]] could bestow.
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| ====/s4s/ incident====
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| <blockquote>''Main article: [[Swaglord]]''</blockquote>[[File:10m -s4s-.png|thumb|Extremely keyed Brazilian victory|none]]The use of ''Cobbo'''s lyrics as material for post nΒ°10000000 on [[S4s/|/s4s/]]<ref>https://archive.4plebs.org/s4s/thread/9999967</ref><ref>https://archived.moe/s4s/thread/9999967/#q10000000</ref> was considered by many onlookers to have immortalized Cobson into a gem; [[Fact|GEMson]]: Coalson redeemed. This was also a [[User:FlorianopolisBrazilian|massive Brazilian victory]] and it made [[Swaglord]] go on one of the biggest [[janny]] seethe sessions ever documented.
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| === Other songs===
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| [[File:HWABABAG.jpeg|thumb|'''HWABABAG''' (He Will Always Be A Bag)]]
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| In an attempt to capitalise on the surprise success of 'Cobo'', Cobson produced an unofficial sequel ''[[Songs#Gemmy by 6ixΟͺhrembo (Parody of Billy by 6ix9ine)|Gemmy]],''<ref name=":4">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSBfXlCymkk</ref> as well as a [[Squirrel|nutwave]] re-release of the original.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSBfXlCymkk</ref> Despite good reviews and mild popularity, these spin-offs failed to capture the runaway success of the original.
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| In January 2022, Cobson collaborated with fellow singer-songwriter [[Nojak]] to produce a short audio sample titled ''6ixΟͺhrembo & DJ Moose''.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSBfXlCymkk</ref>
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| ==The Great BBC Slander ==
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| <blockquote>''Main Article: [[Spadeson]]''</blockquote>
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| In late 2021 and early 2022 edits of Cobson began to appear on the Sharty, [[Bant/|/bant/]] and the [[Booru]] depicting Cobson as a βBBC Slut,β these edits were likely made by [[Discord|Discoal]] raiders and [[trannies]] in an effort to slander Cobsonβs name and title of βGod-Tier Wojak.β As of late April 2022 edits are still appearing on the Party and /bant/.Β Cobson has refused to speak publicly about the incident but his lawyer Saul Goodman has stated in an official open letter that they are pursuing a defamation lawsuit against those posting defamatory edits.
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| On July 24th, 2022, [[Kuz]] announced that Cobson BBC spam is no longer allowed, marking an end for BBC slander on the Sharty <ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20220817182342/https://soyjak.party/news.html</ref><ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20220727094419/https://soyjak.party/rules.html</ref> (but they are keeping to forcing it on the [[Soyjak Wiki|wiki]], th*ugh). Holy ESL
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| {{clear}}
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| ==Cobinisation==
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| [[File:Soy 317771.png|thumb|250px|alt=Does anyone have the original? It ain't on the 'ru.|In some cases, intensive cobinisation may end up replacing the native popsoylation.
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| ]]
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| '''Cobinisation''' ([[Template:Use British English|British English]]; or '''cobinization''' in American English) is a phenomenon observed in the [[Soy Community|soy community]] whereby previous edits featuring non-Cobson variants eventually resurface as Cobsons.
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| If this trend continues, [[Science|scientists]] estimate that all soyjaks will be Cobsons by the year 2033.
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| {{clear}}
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| ==Subvariants ==
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| ===NuCob===
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| [[File:Wholesome nucob.png|right|thumb|150px|A wholesome NuCob edit]]
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| '''NuCob''' is a popular edit of Cobson that's mostly used in wholesome edits due to the angry nature of Cobson. NuCob was first posted on [[Qa/|/qa/]] on October 12th 2021 following the massive success of Cobson.<ref>https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/5229412/</ref> Alongside the usual wholesome edits, some edits depict NuCob as Cobson's son.<ref>{{Boorusearch|1=hash=5a06daff25bc9df2c75b08cc1f0dbb15}}</ref>
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| {{Clear}}
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| ===Rapeson===
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| [[File:Evilson.jpg|right|thumb|150px|Rapeson]]
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| <blockquote>''Main Article: [[Rapeson]]''</blockquote>'''Rapeson''', also known as '''Evilson''' is an ominous subvariant of Cobson that was first posted on [[Soy/|/soy/]] on August 15th, 2022. He is commonly depicted as a disturbingly evil character that commits acts of extreme cruelty, such as rape and murder of children.<ref name=":7">https://web.archive.org/web/20220816110803/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/918549.html</ref><ref name=":6">https://web.archive.org/web/20220816110934/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/920417.html</ref><ref name=":8">https://web.archive.org/web/20220816111155/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/921403.html</ref>
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| {{Clear}}
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| ===Female Cobson=== | |
| [[File:40369_-_SoyBooru.png|right|thumb|150px|Female Cobson]]
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| '''Female Cobson''' is a blanket term for female edits of Cobson. Most of them are shitty [[NAS]] [[dust]] but there are a few IAS edits.
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| {{Clear}}
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| ===Spadeson===
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| [[File:Spadeson-gyatt.png|right|thumb|140px]]
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| {{Main|Spadeson}}
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| Vantablack coal used mainly for racebaiting. Popular on the booru to the surprise of nobody.
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| ===Nig===
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| {{Infobox Soyjak
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| |name = Nig
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| |image = File:nig.png
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| |original_image = File:TotalWarRomeGuy.jpg
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| |type = [[Cobson]] variant
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| |aliases =
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| * Cob 2
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| * Nigger
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| * Cobinus Thrax
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| * Rome Total War guy<ref>https://wiki.soyjak.party/Cobson</ref>
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| </div>
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| |origin = [[Qa/ (soyjak.party)|/qa/]], <small>(June 6, 2023)</small><ref name="origin"/>
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| |booru_posts = {{boorusearch|variant:cobson|display=6290+}} <small>As of October 27th, 2023</small>
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| |traced_from = [https://wiki.soyjak.party/File:TotalWarRomeGuy.jpg Rome Total War]
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| |subvariants = *None (yet)
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| }}
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| '''Nig''', originally '''Cob 2''', is a subvariant of Cobson traced from the guy on Rome: Total War's cover art. The name was decided in a thread where dubs named him and Nig got dubs twice. He is the cousin of Cobson{{CitationNeeded|He just is, ok?}}
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| {{Clear}}
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| == In Popular Culture ==
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| Cobson was subtly referenced in the 2022 movie ''[[Goyslop|The Batman]]''<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jtdh0Tkqfdw&t=132s</ref>
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| Cobson is also the name of a [[CobSOn_(band)|French indie band]].<ref>https://www.discogs.com/release/10126394-Cobson-Cobson</ref> [[Datamining|Jewgle]] won't give me any more info on them (possibly {{Glow|'''CIA'''}} intervention), so no [[Science|source]] is available. (Even though the band has a biography on lastfm [[you]] selfish little fuck) <ref>https://www.last.fm/music/Cobson/+wiki</ref>
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| A slowburn, thought-provoking, no cheap-jumpscares video game called [[Five Nights at Cobson's]] was announced to be in development in order to honor Cobson.<ref name=":5" /> A trailer was released<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYBPSSTqUkA</ref>. The game featured Cobson and variants as enemies and characters in FNAC. With the usual detractors for any game, it's generally agreed that Cobson was represented fairly.
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| ==Gallery==
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| <gallery>
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| File:Original cobson.png|The original frame from the movie (gemmy wallpaper)
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| File:Cobson.svg|[[Science|Vectorized]] Cobson
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| </gallery>
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| ==See also==
| | <blockquote>AnswerΒ to question: |
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| *[[Gem]]{{CitationNeeded}}
| | What soyjak does HWABAG and HWNBAG refer to? |
| *[[Vocaroo]]
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| *[https://thespool.net/features/fotm/the-lawnmower-man-stephen-king/ this is probably relevant. it just (probably) is, ok?]
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| | It refers to cobson. now get with ruining wiki.soyjak.party. hehehh (:</blockquote>[[File:10m -s4s-.png|thumb|Extremely keyed Brazilian victory|none]] |
| | ==COBSON IS A NIGGA COBSON IS A NIGGA COBSON IS A FUCK HAHAHAHAH== |
| {{reflist|group=lower-alpha}} | | {{reflist|group=lower-alpha}} |
| {{reflist}} | | {{reflist}} |
6580+ As of December 5th, 2023
