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I finally came back from the store just as the sun was beginning to dip below the horizon. I'd gone a little overboard today, I'm starting to think that it's a bad habit of mine. But in my defense, I hadn't shopped in a while so my body was basically craving a shopping spree. And who am I to deny my own needs?
[[File:The jig is up.png|thumb|434x434px|{{Quote|>The jig is up, faggot}}<ref name=":0">https://desuarchive.org/a/thread/233579278/#233600925</ref><ref>https://desuarchive.org/a/thread/233581289</ref>]]
I was ready for a long night of gaming after my long day cleaning up the house and shopping. I just got beta access for the new Minecraft update. I set my groceries down on the table and turned the TV on for some background noise. As I sorted through my bags and put the groceries away, I saw something I definitely didn't buy. It was blueberry gum. It could be a worse flavor, but it still confused me. Did someone slip it into my cart when I wasn't looking?
{{Gem}}
"Weird," I said to myself. "I'm not one to complain about free stuff, though. This'll make a funny story to tell later."
 
As I opened the pack of gum and popped a piece into my mouth, the smell hit me like a brick wall.
<span class="noexcerpt">'ostin' [[gem|'ems]] on [[A/|/a/]].</span>
"Holy shit," I said out loud, as the intense blueberry flavor flooded my mouth. "That is not gum. What the fuck???"
 
I spat the piece out into my hand and looked at it, then I realize it was indeed gum. It was the flavor and texture of gum. Maybe I'd just bitten into a particularly strong piece or something? I couldn't understand how gum could possibly taste like this, it was too strong to be real.
A '''Stealth Jak''' is a 'jakking artform inspired by [[Barneyfag (Lee Goldson)|lee baits]], but instead of the target being a singular autist, it's an entire board full of them. The tradition of hiding gems on /a/ did not start with soyjaks however, but rather with [[Pepe]].<ref>https://desuarchive.org/a/thread/225732067/</ref> Early stealthjaks were quite visible, often appearing in the corner of images. As jannies became better at spotting stealthjaks, stealthjakkers adapted and employed newer tactics, such as blurred transparent jaks hiding in the background as if they were being driven by [[Science|natural soylection]].
I'm little weirded out by the whole situation, but figured I should finish putting the groceries away before investigating more. It was probably nothing anyway. Once everything was put away, I started streaming.
 
"Hello I'm ibxtoycat, and today we're doing an update stream on Minecraft... I think I should take a nap..."
== Hiding in GIFs ==
I let out a yawn and stretched my arms, trying to wake myself up. The game is taking forever to load, and it was starting to annoy me. I decided to check my internet connection, but couldn't find any problems. I could have sworn I saw a glimmer of light out of the corner of my eye. I turned towards the window, but didn't see anything. It was probably just a reflection of the screen. My chair suddenly seemed a lot comfier than it had been just a second ago. I could feel myself slowly drifting off to sleep.
You can hide a [[Soyjak_Nicknames|'jak]] in a GIF image, but it's not as trivial as hiding in a static image [[though]]. Hence this guide.
I jolted awake and glanced at the clock. Only fifteen minutes had passed. My mouth felt weirdly wet. I touched my finger to my lips and they came back blue. That blueberry taste was still lingering, and the smell was stronger than ever. Minecraft was stuck at 74% loaded. I stood up and stumbled a bit, feeling woozy. I felt like I was going to puke, but my stomach didn't feel sick, it felt full. Like I'd just eaten a big meal.
 
"C-Chat? Chat, I'm really fucked up right now... This... This is really fucking me up, man..."
Hiding a jak in a GIF is a matter of making a slideshow GIF with at least 2 frames: '''the original image''', and '''the reveal'''. You can then set a time delay between frames so that, before you fags start implying, it's a gif, and if you load it and wait long enough it turns into the second frame revealing the jak.
I looked down at my stomach, expecting to see a huge bulge or something. There was no bulge, but my stomach was slightly distended. It was almost unnoticeable, but I definitely had a slight tummy. I stared at the screen, silently begging the damn game to load. When it finally finished, I breathed a sigh of relief. I started up the game and tried to play. I couldn't concentrate, and kept making stupid mistakes. I even fell into a pit with zombies chasing me.
 
"I'm just..."
On [[4chan]], the thumbnail of GIF posts is always the ''first'' frame. By setting no delay between the reveal, and disabling looping, you can make an image that looks normal in the thumbnail, but "magically" turns into a soyjak when expanded.
I can't ignore it now. My shirt just ripped, and I'm pretty sure my pants are going to be next. My stomach is stretching them so tight, I can hear the stitches starting to pop. It's not that I'm gaining weight, I'm inflating. I've heard stories about this. But those were just rumors. They're not real.
 
"Wait... this is actually... kinda nice... I..."
Tools:
I don't care if I look silly. It feels too good to stop... not like I could. I can feel juice dripping down my legs, and the taste of blueberries is driving me crazy. I'm so full, and I'm still not at my limit. I've lost all control, and I'm just letting it happen. I can't get enough, and it's making me even hungrier. I can barely fit into my computer chair now, and the way my belly rubs against the desk feels so good... My ass starts to itch, and I realize that my butt is starting to swell.
*https://ezgif.com/maker
"YouTube... isn't gonna... want me... like this... oh, fuck it, who cares? Let them ban me..."
==GIMP<ref>https://www.gimp.org/tutorials/Simple_Animations/</ref>==
My legs are spread wide, and my belly is spilling over them. I can feel the pressure building inside of me, and I know I'm not far from the end. I still have a few minutes, but I've given up on the game. I just want to lie here and let it happen. I can see a blue stain spreading across my carpet, and it's starting to fill the room with a sweet aroma.
[[File:GIMPgif.webm|thumb|The process (video)]]
"Just a little more... I'm almost there... haah..."
*Each animation frame is a layer.
I arch my back, and let out a deep moan. It's almost painful, but in a good way. I can't stop myself from cumming, even though I know it will end soon. I'm almost round, and it's starting to get uncomfortable.  
 
"Fuck... this is it, guys... the big finish..."
*The delay between frames is specified in the layer name. Write the delay in '''ms''', enclosed in brackets '''()''' [[File:Flower-anim.png|border|130px|none]]
I close my eyes, and relax. It feels so good, and I never want it to end. I can feel juice leaking from my lips, and pooling on the floor. My legs are shaking, and my whole body is trembling. I'm so close...
*Preview the animation: <code>Filters → Animation → Animation Playback</code>
"Ch-"
*Export with a .gif extension. A final dialog with settings, such as toggle looping, will show up.
The pressure becomes unbearable, and everything goes white. There's a loud popping noise, and I feel myself crash to the ground. Juice is everywhere, and I can't even get up. I think my intestines came out, too. I'm just lying here, covered in blueberry juice, and enjoying the afterglow. I barely manage to lift my head and look at the screen. My view count is skyrocketing. Of course it would be, they've all seen what just happened. I can't blame them. Gore's popular, and so's porn. Putting the two together is bound to get a few million views.
 
I want to get up, but I'm scared that my lungs might fall out. Wait, that's what we have ribcages for, right? Fuck it, I'll die either way. My chair's not broken, so at least I didn't damage anything besides my own body. I push myself up and manage to sit down in my chair. It's so sticky and wet, but I'm too exhausted to care.
 
"...Well... that's it. And... thanks for... 60 thousand views live. See ya..."
==ImageMagick ==
I'm amazed I managed to speak coherently after what just happened, but I have no time to admire myself. The pain is coming back, and it's getting harder to breathe.
[[File:ImageMagick.jpg|thumb|{{quote|>DUDE i just LOVE the trial and error of the terminal, it's so EFFICIENT and makes me feel like I'm in one of my LUKE SMITH VIDEOS. You should totally come on down to my pubnix, it's got EXPOSED POSIX C source code and everything, we can crack open a man page or three and get crazy watching some suckless programs compile!}}]]
"Oh... and when... do I... get my... Wikipedia... article? Hah... hah... Fuck it, chat... let's go..."
[https://imagemagick.org ImageMagick] is a command-line image editor. Once comfortable with the tool you can pump out stealth jaks faster than with a graphical program. You can re-use commands by simply changing the input files (highlighted in '''bold'''). This command makes a "thumbnail reveal" for 4chan:
I let out a final wheeze and close my eyes. And all I can smell is the smell of sweet, sweet success.
 
magick '''<filepath of bait image>''' '''<filepath of reveal image>''' -resize '%[fx:u.w]x%[fx:u.h]^' -gravity center -extent '%[fx:u.w]x%[fx:u.h]^' ''-loop 1'' ''-delay 0'' output.gif
 
Options you may want to change are ''italicized''.
 
;-loop:Set to '''0''' to loop forever, set to '''1''' to disable looping, that is, simply stop at the last frame.
; -delay:Set the delay in ''centiseconds'' (100ths of a second). '''-delay 100''' would delay 1 second; '''2000''' would delay 20 seconds, and so on. Set '''0''' for no delay, obviously.
 
=== Industrial jakking ===
A scriptfag made a set of 3000 "thumbnail reveal" gifs, using randomly-picked images from boorus. Coomer bait images taken from [https://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=list&tags=rating%3aquestionable safebooru] flick into soyjaks randomly picked from [[Booru|the soyjak booru]]. "Because the bulk amounted to 1 Gigabyte, I've split it into 3 sets for download"<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20211130114057/https://soyjak.party/raid//res/14080.html#15363</ref>:
*https://soyjak.download/f.php?h=2K-DMt-A
*https://soyjak.download/f.php?h=3MmqWzMs
*https://soyjak.download/f.php?h=3QYYBb5M
 
== Janny Response ==
There are several ways [[Janny|jannies]] seem to be handling the stealthjak threads. Their initial response was to straight up delete the thread, which proved to be destructive as it can disrupt a perfectly normal discussion, but there's also the case where the stealthjak is so obvious that everyone talks about it which justifies thread deletion. Another, more hilarious response is to keep the thread up and delete any replies pointing out the stealthjaks, in an attempt to keep the thread on-topic<ref name=":0" />. Ideally a janny wants to either delete a stealthjak thread ASAP or keep it up hoping everyone ignores the stealthjak. The second option would inevitably lead their catalog to always have at least one stealthjak thread floating around. Knowing this, it is crucial for stealthjakers to not make their stealthjak too subtle or obvious, so that /a/nons will ALWAYS eventually point out the 'jak in the thread.
 
==Citations==
 
<references />
{{variants}}
{{Troll}}
[[Category:Shitposting]]

Revision as of 09:50, 1 January 2024

>The jig is up, faggot[1][2]

This page is a gem.


'ostin' 'ems on /a/.

A Stealth Jak is a 'jakking artform inspired by lee baits, but instead of the target being a singular autist, it's an entire board full of them. The tradition of hiding gems on /a/ did not start with soyjaks however, but rather with Pepe.[3] Early stealthjaks were quite visible, often appearing in the corner of images. As jannies became better at spotting stealthjaks, stealthjakkers adapted and employed newer tactics, such as blurred transparent jaks hiding in the background as if they were being driven by natural soylection.

Hiding in GIFs

You can hide a 'jak in a GIF image, but it's not as trivial as hiding in a static image though. Hence this guide.

Hiding a jak in a GIF is a matter of making a slideshow GIF with at least 2 frames: the original image, and the reveal. You can then set a time delay between frames so that, before you fags start implying, it's a gif, and if you load it and wait long enough it turns into the second frame revealing the jak.

On 4chan, the thumbnail of GIF posts is always the first frame. By setting no delay between the reveal, and disabling looping, you can make an image that looks normal in the thumbnail, but "magically" turns into a soyjak when expanded.

Tools:

GIMP[4]

The process (video)
  • Each animation frame is a layer.
  • The delay between frames is specified in the layer name. Write the delay in ms, enclosed in brackets ()
  • Preview the animation: Filters → Animation → Animation Playback
  • Export with a .gif extension. A final dialog with settings, such as toggle looping, will show up.


ImageMagick

>DUDE i just LOVE the trial and error of the terminal, it's so EFFICIENT and makes me feel like I'm in one of my LUKE SMITH VIDEOS. You should totally come on down to my pubnix, it's got EXPOSED POSIX C source code and everything, we can crack open a man page or three and get crazy watching some suckless programs compile!

ImageMagick is a command-line image editor. Once comfortable with the tool you can pump out stealth jaks faster than with a graphical program. You can re-use commands by simply changing the input files (highlighted in bold). This command makes a "thumbnail reveal" for 4chan:

magick <filepath of bait image> <filepath of reveal image> -resize '%[fx:u.w]x%[fx:u.h]^' -gravity center -extent '%[fx:u.w]x%[fx:u.h]^' -loop 1 -delay 0 output.gif

Options you may want to change are italicized.

-loop
Set to 0 to loop forever, set to 1 to disable looping, that is, simply stop at the last frame.
-delay
Set the delay in centiseconds (100ths of a second). -delay 100 would delay 1 second; 2000 would delay 20 seconds, and so on. Set 0 for no delay, obviously.

Industrial jakking

A scriptfag made a set of 3000 "thumbnail reveal" gifs, using randomly-picked images from boorus. Coomer bait images taken from safebooru flick into soyjaks randomly picked from the soyjak booru. "Because the bulk amounted to 1 Gigabyte, I've split it into 3 sets for download"[5]:

Janny Response

There are several ways jannies seem to be handling the stealthjak threads. Their initial response was to straight up delete the thread, which proved to be destructive as it can disrupt a perfectly normal discussion, but there's also the case where the stealthjak is so obvious that everyone talks about it which justifies thread deletion. Another, more hilarious response is to keep the thread up and delete any replies pointing out the stealthjaks, in an attempt to keep the thread on-topic[1]. Ideally a janny wants to either delete a stealthjak thread ASAP or keep it up hoping everyone ignores the stealthjak. The second option would inevitably lead their catalog to always have at least one stealthjak thread floating around. Knowing this, it is crucial for stealthjakers to not make their stealthjak too subtle or obvious, so that /a/nons will ALWAYS eventually point out the 'jak in the thread.

Citations

Stealth jak is part of a series on
Soyjak variants
Main variants [-+]

Variants with over 1,000 Booru posts

Classic SoyjakA24 Slow-Burn SoyjakGapejakMarkiplier SoyjakBerndFeraljakCobsonImpish Soyak EarsChudjak

Other variants [-+]
Subvariants [-+]
Soyjak trends [-+]
By artform [-+]
NAS [-+]

Main article: NAS

WojakNon-Wojak SoysWikipe-tanSoytanNPCGigachadPepeSidsonSoySubaChadjakPissluffareSoylitaPoopyPoopson

Stealth jak is part of a series on
Trolling and Raids
Operations [-+]
Targets [-+]
Techniques [-+]
Types of raids [-+]
Trolling groups [-+]

Soyjak.partyKiwifarmsCIAAnonymousNSSKKKGNAA